What to do when a girl suddenly goes cold on you: 20 important tips

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Do you ever have that feeling that someone is into you, likes you, but then decides to back off and break things off without explanation?

And what’s even worse: You don’t know why?

There are plenty of things that can cause this sudden change.

Good news!

Here are 20 important tips that can get you back in her good graces.

Let me show you how!

1) If you are in a relationship, do not try to force her to do what you want

If you are in a relationship with a girl who suddenly changed her behavior towards you, your first thought might be to force her to change it back.

But wait…

That won’t work because if the girl does not want to be with you, she doesn’t see any reason for changing her behavior.

When a girl suddenly goes cold on you, give her some space and wait for the situation to get better.

2) Do not lose hope

The thing is, this situation might not be as bad as it appears to be.

What does this mean?

Suddenly going cold on you may just mean that she needs some time to think about something and that she doesn’t feel ready to tell you what’s going on yet.

If the girl has some problems at work or with her family, suddenly going cold on you might mean that she doesn’t want to bother you with silly things, which is why she needs some time alone.

3) Engage her in conversation 

If a girl suddenly goes cold on you, then it will be helpful for you to engage her in conversation and find out whether this is something that only affects you.

Because let’s face it:

Initial conversations with women can be tough. However, you can turn a potentially awkward moment into a moment of connection simply by finding common ground with them.

I learned this technique from Kate Spring. She’s a best-selling author and is considered to be one of the best dating coaches in the world.

Kate’s created a free online video where she gives you several techniques like this guaranteed to help you better attract women.

Watch the video here. It’s 100% free and there are no strings attached.

4) Do not overreact in any way

No matter how much you want to, do not get angry at her or try to make her feel guilty.

If she starts ignoring you or acting weird, take a deep breath and relax. Do not overreact and stay calm.

Pro tips:

Do not try to fix the problem by acting pissed off at least in front of other people. This will only make things worse if you start acting weird yourself.

Before you react to her actions in an emotional manner, stop for a few seconds and think about why she did what she did.

Try to work out exactly what happened, and you have to develop patience – this is not the time to be short-tempered or impatient with her, or she won’t open up.

5) If she is playing hard to get, you have to play even harder

If a girl suddenly starts playing hard to get, this means that she is interested in you but might feel uncertain about her own feelings for you.

But showing interest means you have to step up your efforts instead of backing off, right?


Backing off is the right thing to do! It’s what the girl wants and it’s what will eventually turn her on.

6) Do not discuss the issue with others

 Do not discuss the problem with your friends and family.

They will only complicate things because they might offer you solutions that are completely irrelevant to your situation.

Think about it a minute…

This is a bad idea for many reasons:

First of all, it will give off the impression that you don’t have any self-confidence; second, you’ll be risking misinterpreting somebody else’s advice and third, you’ll be making her feel uncomfortable around your family.

So be very careful and try to solve the problem by yourself.

7) Give her some space

You should give her space so that she has a chance to think things through. Don’t call, text, or email her until you know that she is receptive and ready to listen.

If contact is resisted, don’t push. If the girl has had time to cool down and think about things, she’s more likely to be receptive. Once again; Be decisive but not pushy.

By giving her space, you, too, are giving yourself some space to think things through. 

Instead of wondering why she suddenly went cold, think about how the relationship truly makes you feel.

Remember that how she makes you feel and how you feel about her are two different things, and if they don’t align, that calls for some self-reflection.

And one way you can do that is through some self-healing meditation.

Personally, when I was going through something similar with my girlfriend, I had trouble sorting out my own thoughts, too. 

I was all over the place, overthinking every little things she does — and does not do. 

But when I started to meditate using this guided meditation, the fog started to clear up.

I realized that even if I love her, if she doesn’t make me feel good about myself anymore, that means the relationship is not worth staying for.

It’s a sad realization, but with the peace I had gotten from this self-healing meditation, I know I could conquer anything.

And you, too, deserve that peace.

Click here to access the free meditation.

8) Get to the bottom of it

Take a step back and look at the situation objectively.

This will give you the distance you need to figure out what was wrong or what caused the girl to pull away.

If you feel as if you did nothing wrong, think back. If there’s nothing that springs to mind, ask yourself: “What made her pull away? What happened?”

I have been there…

When I’ve used this technique myself, I often discover that I had done something wrong after all, even though it was an honest mistake.

Another reason could be that the girl has a secret admirer who is pressuring her to end things with you. She may be considering ending it with you because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

Use this step to think things through and get to the heart of what has changed about her feelings for you.

9) Smile

A big smile is the safest bet when you get rejected – and that’s because it sends out a positive vibe.

Showing your friend or partner how you feel won’t help, because it’s an emotional expression and it will still look like a bad sign to everyone else in the room.

The secret?

Show off those dimples by way of a warm smile, and let her know that she’s been missed. This will help her relax.

10) Use a joke

Nothing helps to get the conversation going again after it fizzles out like a joke.


Most of the time, if you’ve been rejected, you won’t even be sure why this happened in the first place. As a result, it might be best to make light of the situation.

Part of being a good and appealing person is being able to laugh at yourself – and there’s no better way to break the ice than with a joke.

11) Act natural

If you can learn to relax during moments of discomfort, you’ll be ready to go.

So start off by acting naturally. Just act as if it’s no big deal and don’t let your mind wander too much.

You don’t want to give away the fact that you’re nervous and anxious about the situation.

Don’t act like she just rejected you – the more negative and unnatural your reaction, the more awkward things are going to feel.

You’re letting her know that you’re comfortable with the situation and that you’re not going to get angry.

This is something most girls will admire as well, so things should ease up once they see this behavior.

12) Don’t be afraid to ask her out again 

Did she tell you to never call her again?

Don’t believe it.

Even if she tells you that, it doesn’t mean she really means it.

If you’re truly interested in her, you should ask her out again – try to make up for whatever you did wrong or be more charming.

13) Treat her in the kindest and most patient way possible

 This will go a long way toward winning back her affection.

She may need some time to think about what she did and why, so don’t go making hints or asking her if she still has any feelings for you!

14) Admit your mistakes and apologize

If you have done something that caused the girl to suddenly go cold on you, then it’s good to admit this in an honest manner.

This will help you feel better and not make you feel guilty or frustrated.

15) Don’t beg

If a girl suddenly goes cold on you, then begging her to stay with you will only make her feel worse about the whole situation.

All she can think about is how desperate and pathetic you are right now.

16) Be yourself

When a girl suddenly goes cold on you, don’t try to change who you are as a person.

This is a bad idea because the girl will sense that something is wrong and I am sure that this won’t make her want to get closer to you.

Be sure of yourself and confident in your abilities.

17) Forgive yourself

When a girl suddenly goes cold on you, then there is no need to hate yourself or feel guilty about it.

It just means that this is not the right time for you right now and It simply means that the girl is looking for something different in her life.

18) Give her a chance to explain herself

You have to be patient and understanding when she is trying to tell you everything that has happened in her life – and make sure she doesn’t feel obliged to explain herself or make excuses for her actions.

Here is how it works…

You have to give her the space and time she needs.

This will help build up trust in your relationship. She’ll open up more as a result of this trust, and you’ll be able to work together better on solving difficult issues that may arise in the future.

19) Invite her out with you (relaxed, light, and fun activities)

Remind her of the fun times that the two of you had together.

Find a way to invite her out on fun dates or activities that you did together, like watching a movie, or going shopping.

Here’s the step-by-step process…

When she agrees to hang out with you, or even if she just doesn’t push you away, don’t be overly affectionate towards her. But at the same time, don’t be too distant either.

She should know that you are still interested in her.

20) Be careful what you say

You see, many men tend to be rude and overbearing when they’re trying to woo a girl.

They get nervous during the interaction and say something stupid – even when she’s just rejected him.

That’s why you should be extra careful with what you say in her presence.

Instead, you should think about what will help her relax first, and then try to make her laugh.

Why is she acting distant all of a sudden?

Strange as it may seem, in my experience with women I have found that they don’t really want to hurt you on purpose.

But if things don’t work out for any reason, she will probably start to enjoy the feeling of freedom.

Some girls will even go through a rebound phase. They’ll be with the new guy for a while before they decide to end the relationship.

The key to success in this situation is being sensitive enough with how you try to get her back.

By no means do you have to be pushy or forceful. Just give her some space and let her come to you when she’s ready.

Here are a few reasons why a girl would go cold on you:

⦁ She is too busy

⦁ She thinks you’re going too fast

⦁ She is afraid of falling in love

⦁ She is not attracted to you

⦁ She is moving away

⦁ She just didn’t like you

⦁ She doesn’t like your friends

⦁ She is not ready to commit

⦁ She is in a relationship

⦁ She doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore

How do I talk to a cold girl?

Every girl loves a guy with a sensitive side and this is exactly what the right conversation will do for them.

If you want to know how to talk to a cold girl, then you have come to the right place.

Here are some helpful tips on how to make your interactions smooth, and effortlessly.

* Be comfortable with yourself first and foremost

When you feel confident about who you are and what your intentions are, it’s easier for people around you to feel comfortable as well.

Be present and focused in your interactions with others.

* Show genuine interest

It’s never too early to show that you have an interest in getting to know someone.

If she is well dressed, tell her so. If she wears the perfume that you like, tell her so.

Offer a compliment on her appearance or say a word of encouragement at the end of a conversation, whether it is something that you really liked about what she said or just something as simple as an appreciative smile when she says something funny.

* Be interesting and funny

Always think of new and original things to say.

If you want to be interesting, then think of something new every day, not just when you are talking with her. I know it’s hard to be interesting all the time but always try. Try something different each time.

* Make her feel comfortable

An important part of talking to any girl is making sure she feels comfortable. You may have the most amazing opener in the world, but if you don’t make her feel comfortable, it’s all a waste.

Final words

I hope that I was able to give you some advice on how to handle a girl suddenly going cold on you.

This is a situation that a lot of guys go through and it’s important for you to be patient and confident in yourself.

Remember not to lose hope, because most of the time, things will go back to normal sooner or later.

But if you want to take things to the next level with this girl, you don’t need to play games or act like someone you aren’t.

In fact, there are a few simple techniques you can use that’ll change the way you approach women for good.

You can check them out in this free video by Kate Spring.

I mentioned her earlier – she’s a relationship expert who shares the most basic but effective, biology-driven techniques for getting through to women on a deep level.

Since learning about her, my dating game is stronger than ever. And the best part?

I actually understand how women work in love and relationships now. No more second-guessing, no more ending up in the friend zone.

Here’s a link to her free video.

There are no strings attached, just pure, valuable advice on upping your game around women.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

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In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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