Here’s what it means when a girl says she needs time to heal

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Girls are complicated creatures and when one tells you that she needs time to heal, that can mean a lot of things. 

That’s why it’s important to explore all the meanings of such a statement if you want to give her what she needs. 

Here are 6 possible meanings:

1) She needs time to heal from a previous relationship

This is one of the most common reasons why a girl may tell you she needs time to heal. 

Sometimes, women who have been in a previous relationship find it difficult to get into another one so soon. 

This may be because they’re still dealing with the emotions from that previous relationship, or they’re simply not yet ready to jump into another relationship

You see, a breakup can be devastating, especially if it was a long-term relationship. It can take a lot of time, support, and energy to process, heal and get over such a breakup. 

So, if she’s still dealing with that and being in a new relationship would only add another layer of complication to it, she might have a legitimate reason to say she needs time to heal.

But, how long does it take to get over someone?

According to this study done in 2007, the average person recovers from a breakup in about three months.

However, another study done in 2017 says differently. It appears that most people take around 6 months to fully get over a breakup.

Was this girl married? 

If she was, then research shows that she might need about one year and a half to heal from the heartbreak.

2) She needs time to heal because of another trauma she went through

The next meaning is a little more subtle, but it happens all the time. 

Sometimes a girl may say she needs time to heal when she’s still recovering from another trauma or something traumatic that she went through. 

This could include any kind of difficult situation where she felt stressed, anxious, or had to deal with negative emotions

Other examples are the death of a loved one or some kind of loss. 

Just like when she may need time to heal from a previous relationship, a big traumatic event may cause her to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and simply not ready to take on a new relationship or continue one.

Theodora Blanchfield, marriage and family therapist, confirms it:

“All people will need emotional healing at some point during their lives – we all experience challenges and difficult emotions that need processing.”

So, if you hear her say she needs time to heal, it may be because of something more serious than a previous relationship.

3) She simply isn’t ready to get involved in anything with you

Another possible meaning can be that she simply isn’t ready to get involved in a new relationship. 

She may not have the emotional strength or energy to date, much less get involved with you. 

How can you be sure?

Natasha Ivanovic, relationship writer, shares a few signs a girl isn’t emotionally ready for a relationship:

  • She is not emotionally available
  • She doesn’t want to discuss deep topics
  • She doesn’t keep her promises
  • You make all the efforts to connect
  • She behaves inconsistently. 

Her advice? 

“If you see these signs she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship, confirm this by talking to her about it and decide what you should do next.”

In other words, if she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship with you, don’t push her. Give her the time and space she needs. And if she already told you that she needs time to heal, then it could be about this.

4) You hurt her and now she needs time to process what has happened

Be honest: Did you hurt her?

Maybe you didn’t mean to, but you did. At least in her eyes. 

So now she needs to process her feelings… Feelings such as anger, resentment, sadness, or any other negative emotion. 

She probably needs some time to do that and to heal from the hurt you caused. 

And that’s what she’s telling you.

But, in such a situation, you might find it difficult to understand what she’s going through or what you did wrong. Leaving things up to chance shouldn’t definitely be the answer. 

So, what should you do?

Since there are many things you could’ve done to hurt her, giving you general advice might not help much. That’s why I recommend talking to a professional relationship coach about your situation.

At Relationship Hero, I found the best coaches online. They provide valuable information and step-by-step instructions. What’s more, they don’t ever try to sugar-coat anything.

They’ll tell you what you did wrong and how you can fix things with this girl. But, fear not! They won’t bore you with psychological details (unless you want to). Instead, they’ll make you understand your situation better.

So, if you want to improve your relationship with this girl right now, I’d advise you to try Relationship Hero. 

Trust me: You’ll thank me later. Click here to get started.

5) She uses it as an excuse because she doesn’t want to reject you

What does it mean when a girl says she needs time to heal?

Well, it could mean that she isn’t interested. 

Let me explain: 

We don’t want people we like to reject us or hurt us. 

So, when you ask her out and she says she needs time to heal, it could mean that she realizes she isn’t interested in you but doesn’t want to reject you. 

If you’d like to be sure, here are a few signs a girl is not into you, according to Pearl Nash, writer for Hack Spirit.

  • She replies with really short messages
  • She never initiates a conversation
  • She doesn’t open up to you
  • She cancels plans very often
  • She doesn’t ask you things about yourself.

Can you relate? Does she match these signs? 

If so, she probably isn’t interested in you. But she also doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s why she uses this excuse. She knows that it might be less hurtful.

6) She literally needs time to heal from a physical injury

Look, I know you’re used to reading between the lines when it comes to women. But sometimes, there’s nothing to read. Sometimes, things are really as simple as they sound.

So, ask yourself this: Has she suffered from a physical injury lately?

If she has, then she literally may need time to heal, just like she says.

How can you be sure, though?

Tina Fey, the founder of Love Connection confirms it:

“She may want some time because of a physical issue or a health issue.” 

But what does she really mean? That you shouldn’t see each other or not talk at all? 

Well, that’s really hard to say. To understand her situation better, you’ll have to talk with her.

But what if she won’t talk about it? What can you do?

Rita Watson, a journalist and relationship columnist has the answers:

  • Create a safe zone to talk about it
  • Explain to her that you don’t understand what she really needs
  • Try to give her examples to understand you better

In other words, don’t assume that she doesn’t want to see you again. It could be that she wants to talk about it, but she just doesn’t know how. That’s why you need to talk with her more.

How long should you wait?

That’s also a tricky question, so here’s Tina Fey’s take on this:

“If your girlfriend says she needs time, she’ll let you know how long you should wait before trying to contact her again.”

But if she doesn’t, then it’s totally fine to ask her. However, Fey warns you about something else:

“She might not know how much time she needs, either, but it’s not wrong for you to ask her so that you can both be on the same page.”

Typically, if you’ve just started seeing this girl and you’re not really familiar with each other, then it’s probably better to give her some time and space. 

How much time, though? 

Depending on the situation, it could be a week, but it could also be months.

Conversely, if you’ve been in a relationship with this girl for a while, then I’d advise you to talk with her about this issue. She might need more time to heal, such as a month, notes Fey.

In conclusion

So, what does it mean when a girl says she needs time to heal? 

By now you should have a better idea of what she’s thinking. But, if you want to know for sure, don’t hesitate to talk to her. 

She might really need some time. But she might also just be unsure of how she feels.

In either case, don’t pressure her to give you an answer right away. Give her some time to figure it out. 

At the end of the day, time doesn’t really heal everything, but it helps us to understand ourselves and other people better.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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