What kind of man am I looking for? 27 of the top qualities

When it comes to finding the right guy, we’re all searching for the same thing.

A man who’s honest, dependable, and faithful. Right?

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.

Many of us get distracted by guys who aren’t right for us at all. But as they say, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.

So in this article, I’m going to outline the essential qualities of a great guy so you can skip the time-wasters.

Let’s jump straight in:

1) He pays attention to you

Let’s be honest, most women want and need a certain amount of attention from their partner.

It’s not enough to just shower you with gifts but never take the time to sit down with you and talk, so be wary of guys who think they can replace attention with jewelry.

Simply put, a great guy will understand your need for attention.

And he’ll give it to you in healthy amounts and won’t make you feel bad for needing it – after all, he recognizes that he needs attention too and it’s a two-way street.

2) He has integrity

If a man has integrity, it means he sticks to his morals and ethics.

When he says you can trust him, he means it.

Even when no one else is around, he’ll choose to do the right thing.

He’ll do what he says, and he’ll be consistent in his actions. This type of guy will put your mind at ease and it’ll be hard not to fall in love with him.

3) He’s emotionally mature

Here’s where it gets a little trickier.

Emotional maturity is hard to find, in men and women alike. Some men deny their feelings. Others simply don’t know how to process them.

The truth is, most of us aren’t taught how to process and handle our emotions properly so we often let them run wild and get the better of us.

But if you find a guy who can keep his emotions in check and healthily deal with them, you’re on to a winner.

4) He recognizes your worth

This right here is a must – he needs to see your value and appreciate you for who you are.

Ultimately, we all want to feel special, and we all want our partners to recognize how much hard work and effort we bring to the table.

If he isn’t your number one biggest fan, he simply isn’t the right one for you.

5) He lives an honest life

So hand in hand with integrity, you want to look out for a guy who values honesty above all.

The thing is, you can’t go wrong if you’re always upfront and honest.

And this type of guy will never make you question him or doubt his intentions because he’ll always be truthful.

A guy like this takes relationships to a new level – no more worrying when he doesn’t text or bad feelings when he goes out with his friends.

6) He protects the people he loves

Put aside the hulky image of the guy with a six-pack and steroid-induced biceps, this is not essential to feel protected.

Any great guy, regardless of how built or muscly he is, will go above and beyond to protect you and all his loved ones.

He won’t even stop there – he’ll go out of his way to protect anyone in need or danger, and this shows how genuine and kind he is.

7) There’s never any judgment from him

How do you know when you’ve found the man of your dreams?

When he accepts you fully as you are, without judgment or criticism.

He’ll make you feel comfortable to be yourself and he’ll love you for your quirky habits and personality.

The bottom line is:

He’s open-minded and he wants you to be free to live your life how you see fit, he’s merely there to support you through it.

8) He has a good sense of humor

Unsurprisingly, having a good sense of humor is extremely important to most women.

After all, who wants to spend a lifetime with someone who can’t take a joke?

But the key here is finding a guy who has a similar sense of humor as you do, that way you get each other’s jokes and there’s plenty of good times to bond and laugh over.

And even better:

Some studies have shown that the more a couple share a sense of humor, the more satisfied they’ll feel in the relationship.

9) He’s supportive of your decisions

In every relationship, there’s got to be an element of support.

You want to go for that promotion?

You need the support of your partner to help out at home while you work longer hours.

You want to quit work and pursue your passion?

You need a partner who will encourage you and believe in you even when you experience inevitable doubt and fear.

When it comes down to it, the kind of man you’re looking for should be supportive and willing to embrace your dreams as much as his own – that way you build as a team.

10) He’s got confidence

And for a guy to be supportive, he first needs to have self-confidence.

Self-confidence means he knows his value and he’s aware of what he’s bringing to the table in a relationship.

Plus, a guy with confidence has a charm, a charisma about him which will probably attract you to him in the first place.

Just don’t get confused between cockiness and confidence – the former most certainly isn’t a trait of a good man.

11) You have similar values

When it comes to your values and outlooks on life, it helps to look for a guy who shares the same views as you.

In the end, it’s compatibility that makes or breaks a relationship.

Your beliefs, the lifestyle you want to live, how you want to raise kids (if you have any in the future) for example, are all important values that need to line up.

Now, that’s not to say you have to agree on everything, each person is unique in their values, but you should see eye to eye on the big stuff at the very least.

12) He actively listens to you

Just as paying attention is essential, so are his listening skills.

And that’s a great factor about good men – they’ll listen to you and make you feel heard.

They won’t simply nod along until you give up, or pretend they’re listening when secretly they’ve got one eye on the TV.

A great guy will prioritize what you have to say and will be all ears whenever you’ve got something important to tell him.

13) He views relationships as a team effort

Say goodbye to guys who think they don’t have to pull their weight in the relationship, and hello to men who see it as a team effort.

On your search for the right man, it’s always a good idea to gauge how he views relationships.

Does he view the relationship equally, whereby you both pitch in and share the responsibilities?

Is he willing to stick out the tough times, the arguments, and the misunderstandings?

A great guy will – they’ll understand that the best things in life don’t always come easy, and relationships take a lot of work and commitment.

14) He acts his age

Maturity.

It’s one thing that makes for an undeniably good partner.

The last thing you want is a man who can’t act his age and has the maturity of a five-year-old; there’s nothing worse than feeling like a parent instead of a partner.

So how do you know if he’s mature?

  • He takes responsibility for himself
  • He’s aware and considerate of others
  • He can disagree without taking it personally or starting an argument
  • He’s respectful of other people’s views
  • He knows how to set healthy boundaries and lead the lifestyle that suits him

The bottom line is:

A guy who’s got his life together and has emotional and mental maturity is hard to come by, so if you find one, hold on for dear life.

15) He’s kind to you and others

But, if he’s kind to you and not to the waiter in the restaurant, he’s not a kind guy.

Kindness should be shown to all, regardless of their job, ethnicity, age, or political views, so if you find a guy who’s genuinely kind to everyone, you’ve hit the jackpot.

16) He’s willing to grow and learn

When it comes to looking for a partner, the ideal guy will be open-minded and willing to learn and grow.

This means he’s able to push his boundaries, accept when he’s wrong or ignorant about something, and work hard at bettering himself.

And actually, it’s this commitment to being a better person that will make him a better partner, simply because he isn’t stuck in a rut with a negative attitude and mindset.

17) He is compassionate

Having compassion, being empathetic, and feeling sympathy for others are wonderful qualities to have, and a guy like this will never leave you feeling down in the dumps alone.

But that’s not the only good thing:

When it comes to relationships, being compassionate can go a long way in understanding your partner, bonding with them and even helping them through their struggles.

18) Being faithful is important to him

Although you can’t predict what he’ll do in the future, a great guy will at least value the commitment he has to his partner and will work hard to be faithful to her.

The truth is:

Most people don’t start a relationship with the intention of cheating on their partner, but somewhere down the line they become dissatisfied and look to others for happiness or excitement.

But a good man would rather talk through the issues you’re facing rather than stray away, so you’ll know that you can trust him.

19) He’s smart

Whether you’re book smart, street smart, or not the brainiest of the bunch, it turns out that most women, and men, look for intelligence in their partners.

Why?

Because a smart partner, or in this case a smart guy, shows that he’s capable of working things out.

He can solve problems. He keeps a calm, level head. He’s not threatened by other people or by the challenges he faces.

All of this added into your relationship makes a great mix, and it’s comforting to know that your partner has his head screwed on.

20) He tends to look on the bright side of life

Another quality of a great man is his positive attitude towards life.

Positive guys are just more fun to be around in general – they make people feel good, some would even say their positivity is infectious.

So if he’s positive about his life, he’ll make a great partner by encouraging you to look on the bright side too.

And, when you’re going through a tough time, you’ll know he’ll be there, twisting bad situations into a valuable lesson to learn from, or simply cheering you up with his optimistic ideas.

21) He’s reliable

Even if you’re someone who loves the unpredictability of a bad boy, there’s no doubt that being reliable when you need him is important.

And a great guy will work hard to be reliable and dependable all the time.

You’ll be able to spot this a mile off before you even start dating.

Just keep an eye out for how much he helps those around him, his family and friends, and how much he values their trust in him.

22) He’s willing to put in the hard work

Now, we’ve already touched upon how he views relationships as a team effort, but putting in hard work needs to be an across-the-board effort.

A man who works hard at his job, at his friendships, and on himself is the type of man you need to look for.

It’s unrealistic to expect a man to work hard at his relationship if he’s never put the time or effort elsewhere in his life.

Plus – perseverance, commitment, and determination are brilliant qualities to have in general, and even better in a partnership.

23) He’s got good manners

Good manners don’t necessarily mean he’s an angel who never swears.

We can all drop the F-bomb from time to time and still have good manners – what it means is that he’s considerate of other people.

Having good manners means he puts you first. He might open the door for you, or offer you the last slice of pizza.

He’ll be polite to people around and he’ll be respectful of their views and opinions.

Manners are important because they are another sign of maturity and compassion, and that’s a combination every woman needs in a man.

24) He doesn’t play games

We’ve all met a guy who loves to mess around.

Whether he’s the type to text you back three days later, or he plays the blame game and never takes responsibility, there’s nothing new (or attractive) to it.

But a good man will be direct. He won’t waste your time with petty games or indecisiveness.

If he’s into you, he’ll let you know.

If he’s not, he won’t string you along for a year before cruelly breaking your heart and shattering your trust in men altogether.

25) He owns up to his actions

In other words, he takes responsibility for himself.

Again, this is another sign of being mature (and let’s face it, maturity plays a big role in finding a good guy).

But owning up to his actions shows that he can hold himself accountable, and he isn’t stubborn or reckless when it comes to how he makes other people feel.

So why is this important in a man?

Well, think of all the ridiculous arguments you’d save if the other person just owned up when they made a mistake.

Life would be much easier, and so would relationships.

26) He tries to communicate well

And just as taking responsibility for himself, a great guy will also try to communicate clearly and effectively.

Instead of turning everything into an argument or a reason to sulk, they’ll try to understand your love language and work out the best way to get through to you.

And even when there is a misunderstanding, which will inevitably happen from time to time, they’ll be able to work through it and keep the lines of communication open.

27) He cares about your friends and family

And finally, the difference between just an average guy and a great guy is one who embraces your family and friends as if they were his own.

This type of guy is invaluable because he’ll look out for your loved ones and you’ll always feel safe knowing that he cares about them as much as he cares for you.

And it gets better:

A guy who can love your family will make the bond you all share even better, there’ll be no awkwardness or judgment from either side and it’ll make for a wonderful relationship.

Is physical attraction important?

You might have noticed that there’s no mention of physical appearances at all, and it’s for good reason.

As much as we may be suckers for tall, dark, and handsome men, women don’t rank looks as the most important thing in a partner.

Of course, some physical attraction is needed, especially at the beginning when you’re caught up in lust rather than love.

But when it comes down to it, after years together, you’re left with the person’s personality, not their good looks which will eventually fade.

So if you are all about finding a guy based on his appearance, you might want to consider putting that to one side for now and focussing on his personality first.

After all, that’s what you’ve got to live with day in and day out, and no matter how good looking he is, it’s how he makes you feel that counts.

So, how can you find this great guy?

We’ve covered essentially everything you need to look for in a man, from his personality to his behavior and outlook on life.

But we haven’t mentioned how to go about finding this perfect specimen, and by now you’re probably wondering how on earth you’re going to find him.

Here’s the thing, he’s probably not sat at your local Starbucks waiting for you to walk in.

He’s probably not going to randomly slide into your DM’s, either, unless you’re very lucky.

And for certain, you’re not going to find him in the same old guys you keep falling for.

You’ve got to continue living your best life, and only then will you attract this man of your dreams.

So, here are a few tips to help:

  • Join new classes, whether it’s at the gym or to learn a new hobby or skill
  • Don’t rule out online dating apps
  • Socialize as much as possible, sometimes a friend of a friend can become a new love interest
  • Be open to dating guys who aren’t your usual type
  • Volunteer in your local community and meet new people

As you work on yourself and progress in life, finding the right type of guy will be a lot easier.

You’ll start to invite like-minded people into your circle, and you’ll get better at weeding out the bad guys.

Because ultimately, it all comes down to you.

The right guy might cross your path, but if you’re not in the right state of mind emotionally and mentally, you’ll overlook him and miss your chance.

But now you know what kind of man you’re looking for, you need to break out of those bad habits of falling for men who don’t and won’t have your best interests at heart.

So the real question is, are you going to hold out until a great guy comes along, or continue to waste your time and emotions on all the wrong men?

The real reason why men pull away

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