You were texting each other, but the last time you replied to him was days or even weeks ago. You know he’s probably checking his messages as you’re reading this, but does that really matter?
If you don’t text him back, will he worry? Will it even affect your relationship at all?
Well, here are 21 thoughts he thinks when you don’t text him back.
1) “Did I say something wrong?”
This is the ‘what I did wrong?’ stage of the game. He thinks that if you’re not replying to him and he can’t reach you by phone or text, maybe he did something wrong.
He’s confused. He scours through events in his life for clues as to what could have happened. When everything looks good, he wonders if maybe you had a disagreement or a fight and just stopped replying to him.
If you ignore his texts, he might think that you’re mad at him when it’s probably just something small.
It’s possible that he’s afraid to ask for more information for fear of rejection. He knows that if you’re not replying to his texts, you probably don’t want anything more with him. Maybe he’ll get an answer from you one day, but now isn’t the time.
2) “Is she busy?”
This is one of the first questions that a man thinks when you don’t text him back. Because he likes being in touch with the woman he is interested in, it can feel awkward if he doesn’t hear from you.
In his mind, he is free to assume that if you are ignoring him, you’re probably busy doing something important. He doesn’t want to bother you, so he’s debating whether to call or text.
Whether you’re really busy or not, he will think this way. Because guys like to feel like they’re in touch with you, he may feel the need to call you just to make sure that you’re really busy.
If you’re really busy, it’s up to you whether you will call or text him to try and confirm.
3) “It’s probably because she doesn’t like me anymore.”
If you haven’t replied to this man after seeing him on a few dates, it’s not hard to assume that he is thinking this way.
He may have sent that text thinking that he was overstepping his boundaries, but he isn’t sure if it’s because you didn’t like him anymore, or you just weren’t feeling nice towards him.
Of course, some women may try to make a man feel better by explaining why they didn’t reply. He will probably appreciate it if that happens, although it’s up to you whether you want to go out of your way.
Regardless, he is probably thinking that he has done something wrong. Even if this isn’t the case, he will feel bad when you didn’t reply.
4) “What did I do?”
After a few days of not talking to you, he may think that he has done something wrong.
He knows that there was a reason why you didn’t reply to him in time. He feels bad, but he doesn’t know what the problem is.
He probably tried to call, but you didn’t answer the phone. So he stopped trying to call, thinking that maybe you were just ignoring him and didn’t want to talk.
This is why a lot of guys wait for the girl they like to reply first before they send another text or call them. It’s just insurance.
And let me tell you that he is probably thinking that you’re not replying because of the things he did, or didn’t do. You not replying to him will always make him wonder. After all, if you wanted to talk, you would have shown that by replying first.
5) “Is she upset?”
If you’re not that busy, but you’re not replying to his texts, he will think you might be upset with him. This can be especially true if the last text he sent was something that might make a woman upset.
For example, if the last text was a joke and you didn’t laugh at it since you took it differently, he may think that it’s because you didn’t like it. If he’s not sure if you’re upset or not, he may send a text just to see if you have any feelings about the text at all.
Now if he really said something to upset you, you have to decide whether you’re going to tell him. If you’re not, I think it’s better not to reply since you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Otherwise, you might think that you have to tell him because he already thinks that he did something wrong.
If he did something to upset you, and you don’t tell him, he will torture himself thinking that he may have done something wrong. He’ll be worried that you may be angry with him, but he won’t know what it is.
When a woman doesn’t talk about her feelings, a man will feel like the situation is getting worse for him.
6) “What should I do?”
This is likely one of the main questions on his mind when you don’t text him back. Because you’re not replying to him, he will think you’re mad at him for some reason. You see, when a woman is upset with a man, she doesn’t just disappear.
She will try to let the man know that there’s something wrong. She does this so that the man can fix it or so that the two of them can work it out together.
Look, if you’re not doing this, he thinks everything is probably his fault and he has to fix it by himself. If a woman doesn’t fix things on her own, the man may think that he needs to fix whatever is wrong. He will be worried about messing up and becoming a failure.
Because he doesn’t know what happened between you two, he can’t help but assume that something went wrong. After all, if everything was fine between the two of you, there’s no reason not to reply at all.
He might be in the middle of having to decide what should be his next move.
7) “I couldn’t care less.”
Here’s a brutal truth: Men don’t like being ignored and will feel like crap if you stop replying to them. Because men are not used to this, they need reassurance that they’re wanted.
I know that I’ve said this many times before, but it’s still so hard for a man to ignore in the beginning. If he has no idea why you stopped replying to him, he is likely confused and worried about what happened between the two of you.
But on the other side, there’s a big chance that he isn’t concerned about the situation anymore. Even if he does care, he’ll feel so bad about how things are turning out that he doesn’t want to go on because of it.
He will most likely be in a bad mood after worrying about the situation for so long. He will have this thought in mind: “I didn’t do anything wrong, I can’t care less what happens to her.”
This is probably one of the reasons why guys do this. They think it’s better if they just give up and stop thinking about the situation.
8) “Is she with someone else?”
When you don’t reply, he will always think the worst. He will think that you are having an affair with another man, or that you have changed your mind about him and are now seeing someone else.
And even if you aren’t seeing anyone else, he may still think this way. If he thinks that you’re seeing someone else, maybe he’ll think that you don’t like him anymore.
He knows there is a possibility of this happening. After all, he couldn’t have been the first guy you talked to.
When you don’t reply, he can’t help but assume that there’s another man between the two of you.
9) “Should I call?”
A lot of men will wonder if they should call or text the woman they are interested in after not hearing from her. There is a big chance that he will text you again, either because he wants to know if you’re okay or because he wants to know why you didn’t reply.
It’s safe to say that he might be wondering whether to call you or not.
Sometimes, he will even call you just to make sure that you’re okay. If he thinks that you were upset with him, he will call to apologize because he didn’t want to upset you in the first place.
Know that if the two of you were good in terms before you ignore his last text message, he will want to know what happened. He will want to know if you’re okay, and he’ll want to know why you didn’t reply.
10) “I guess she was just playing games.”
This is probably the other main thing that he will think when you don’t reply. He will think that you are playing a game with him – either to get his attention or to make him jealous.
When a man thinks this way, he will feel like you are being silly. He’ll think that it’s arrogant of you to just play games when you don’t even know him well. He’ll feel like you’re just trying to manipulate him, and he might not want any part of it.
Even if you aren’t playing games, let me tell you again that he may still think this way. The reason he thinks this is because of his own feelings. He doesn’t want to believe that you’re not going to reply to him, so if he doesn’t hear from you for a few days, he’ll think that you’re just using him for your games.
Whether or not you are taking him seriously, he might be thinking that he was just a past time during the times that you were bored.
Here’s something that could be in his mind: “I guess she didn’t think I was good enough for her.”
11) “What’s wrong with her?”
After a few days without hearing from you, he will think that something may have happened to you.
Maybe your phone was stolen or maybe the two of you had an argument and now you won’t speak to him anymore.
When you don’t reply over a long period of time, he will naturally assume that something is wrong. He may think that maybe you’re sick or something bad happened to you. Or, maybe he’ll think that your last text message didn’t get through, and something happened to your cell phone.
Whatever the case is, he is worried about you and doesn’t know what to do about it. He wants to know what’s going on, and he so badly wants to ask you if everything is okay.
12) “I’m never talking to this girl again.”
If you ignore his texts, he will think that you’re rude or arrogant. He will feel offended and hurt, and will think that this is the kind of person you are. This is one of the reasons why the two of you will completely fade away from each other.
If a man feels like this woman doesn’t listen to him when she doesn’t text back, then he’ll either start to not like talking to her or ultimately, he’ll stop talking to her. He will know that if she doesn’t acknowledge him, there’s no point in talking to her anymore.
So even if you weren’t giving him that vibe, he won’t want to talk to you again. He’ll think that it’s pointless, especially because he expects you to text back anyway.
13) “I really shouldn’t have texted her like that.”
He may have sent you a text as if he was just joking, but you didn’t respond as if he was. He thinks it may have been inappropriate to talk to you like that and may be scared of your reaction when you reply to him.
In his mind, he’s not sure if he should really feel guilty or not. He feels a little bad that he may have offended you and doesn’t know what to say.
But in the back of his mind, he’s thinking that you should get over whatever he said that made you upset with him.
The truth is, there could be a lot of misunderstandings in that text exchange, and either of you or both of you may be misinterpreting it. The only thing he should feel guilty about is not apologizing to you sooner if he offended you.
14) “Was I too needy?”
Sometimes it’s hard to know what exactly not replying means. Is he being a little too clingy and it’s making you uncomfortable?
He may be worried that you brought up something important, and he might’ve overreacted or said something you didn’t like.
He may think that he has a right to know if you’re okay, and it may be a little too late to apologize. After all, you’ve had plenty of time to text him back after he’s sent the first text message.
He knows that you’re busy and trying to take care of your life, but maybe he thought that text would change your mind.
Maybe he wanted to ask you out but didn’t want to seem too pushy, so he asked if it was okay for him to ask you out again.
Then, when you didn’t reply, he thinks that maybe it’s too much for him to ask again. The truth is, you didn’t want to go out with him again. You just felt really busy and didn’t have time for him. He couldn’t really help that he felt a little bit irritated.
15) “Did she see my text?”
Is it possible that it didn’t go through? What could be happening? Why isn’t she replying? These are all the thoughts going through his head when you don’t text back.
He’s trying to figure out what may have happened, and he’s trying not to assume the worst case scenario. He’s hoping that it didn’t get lost somewhere, or that maybe you’re just busy right now.
It’s not like he has something to do that’s more important than texting you. He hopes that you’re doing well and that when you text him it will still come through.
This man might genuinely think that you didn’t get his text.
16) “What did she do to me?”
You have been ignoring his messages for quite a while, and it’s getting to him. He doesn’t know what you did to him, how he has upset you, and if it was intentional or not.
He just believes that texting is communication and it will help solve the issues in your relationship if he knows the situation first hand.
Frustration might be building up inside of him and he may not know how to let it out. He might be freaking out about what you’ve done to him, and if he did something to you.
He can start to feel like he could have done something worse in the past, and is hoping that you don’t bring it up in the future.
Right now, he’s having mixed thoughts and emotions. He’s feeling like a victim who was unfairly treated by you. He’s not angry, just hurt. He feels that you’re ignoring him as if he doesn’t matter to you anymore.
17) “I wish she would just text me back.”
Now listen, if a man doesn’t hear from you for a few days, he may think that you’re busy. But, he could be jealous of the other things in your life, and want to know more about them. He’ll wonder what they are that they’re taking up your time so much.
Some men consider their pride more important than the relationship itself, so they will want to wait until you’re ready to talk to them again.
It’s not like he’s going to show up at your doorstep if he hasn’t heard from you in a few days. He’ll want to wait until you’re ready to reply. He wants to respect your privacy and your time, so he won’t be a nuisance by texting you over and over again.
18) “I don’t understand her anymore.”
He’s wondering why you don’t respond to him at all. He doesn’t know what happened to upset you so much and he’s so hurt by your actions.
All he wants is an explanation and some kind of sense of understanding from you. He’ll want to ask you a few questions, but he’s afraid that you’ll start avoiding him or not answer his questions anymore.
He knows that it may be hard for him to understand about your situation, but he really wants to try and get it right. He just wants to know your side of the story, so he can understand better why you’re acting this way.
19) “I’m worried that I’m losing her.”
It’s not uncommon for a man to be worried when his partner doesn’t text back, especially if they’ve been texting each other regularly. He’s afraid that you’re upset with him and might want to break up with him if you two are in a relationship.
He may ask your friends and family if they’ve ever seen this before, or he’s just thinking out loud, “Is she going to break up with me?”
He’s hoping that you’re still there and that this just seems like a misunderstanding. He doesn’t know what happened in the past few days to make you ignore him.
It might be upsetting for him to think that you might want to break up with him, but he thinks it’s better to find out sooner rather than later.
20) “I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
This man might be feeling sorry for himself now.
He’s trying to figure out what he did wrong, and what made you upset enough to ignore him. He may think back to all of the conversations that you had and find nothing that he did wrong.
He cannot believe he has done something so terrible that it could ruin your relationship with him. He’s feeling bad about what happened, and he’s sorry that he let you down.
I know for sure that he wants to find out if there is anything that he did wrong so that it doesn’t happen again. He doesn’t want to go through this same thing and have you ignore his messages again.
He knows that if you didn’t reply, there must have been something wrong with the way he was communicating with you. Now he just has to figure out what made you upset in the first place.
21) “Oh well, time to text a new girl.”
When he’s trying to find the right way to text you, and you just don’t reply. You’re giving him mixed messages, and he’s confused about what he should do.
It’s not like there’s anything wrong with getting a new girlfriend if things aren’t going so well with the current one. Even if you’re mad at him now, next week you might feel differently.
Now the question is, what should he do next? Should he just wait a few more days and hope that you’ll reply? Should he try to contact an old girlfriend? Or a new girl?
This time, I think he’s leaning more toward the latter option – find a new girl to text with.
Why are you ignoring his text?
So let me ask you a question: Why do you ignore his text messages?
Whatever the reason, it’s difficult to move on when someone is ignoring your text messages.
It could be that you are busy, and just don’t feel like texting him back. You might even be angry with him because of something that he has done.
Remember, ignoring an issue won’t make it go away. Sometimes you just need to get it out in the open and try to discuss your differences, rather than putting up a wall.
Relationships can’t survive on misunderstandings, but you can’t avoid them forever. You just need to figure out how to communicate better and what things are bothering you.
Don’t let the person that you are seeing go around ignoring each other’s text messages, because that is just rude and it will be very confusing for both of you.
If you do want to fix your relationship with him, how about getting help from a relationship coach?
According to Austerityhealth.org,
“Couples that utilize the services of a skilled relational life coach can expect to benefit. They will receive increased feelings of hope, deeper levels of communication, and improved approaches for dealing with disagreements. This may sound small at first glance, but how much would your spouse or lover be grateful if there were improvements in all these areas?”
If you think about it, investing in something to make a relationship more meaningful and secure is always worth it.
Here comes Relationship Hero – they’re highly trained in relationship advice and the best way to get the kind of relationship you deserve.
This is exactly why so many people turn to them – they can help you communicate better, prevent misunderstandings, deal with conflict, and make your relationship even more satisfying.
Relationship Hero’s approach isn’t always what people are used to seeing. Why?
These are just a few of the many things that a man might think when his date or even girlfriend isn’t responding to him. This is why it’s important for you to keep track of your messages and phone texts, no matter how busy you are.
If you want your relationship to last, you have to make time for one another and communicate with each other.
Don’t give into the temptation of the “ignore” button, unless you really do want to ignore him.
If you can’t find the time to text him, don’t expect the relationship to last very long.
Maybe you’ll have an honest conversation with each other and find out what’s going on with your life right now. You may have time for a man later on in your life, but right now you need to focus on yourself.
Life is too short, so don’t let silly little text messages ruin your relationship.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.