I’m not going to lie to you, chasing a guy makes you look desperate, and as a result, unattractive.
And here’s another thing, when you chase after a guy who’s not interested in you, you’re saying goodbye to your self-respect.
So, stop chasing him and great things will start happening.
Here are 15 surprising things that happen when you stop chasing a man:
1) You experience happiness
When you stop chasing a guy, you’ll feel happy because you’re no longer dependent on his validation.
You’re not waiting for him to call you back or reply to your text. You’re not wondering when you’re going to see him again.
You’re living your life regardless of his existence, and that’s a great feeling. It shows that you have control over your emotions and your life in general.
Of course, every now and then, you’ll feel sad or disappointed because he hasn’t called or texted in days; but overall, your happiness will prevail over any negative emotion.
2) You stop feeling bad about yourself
It feels horrible to be chasing a guy who doesn’t feel the same as you do, trust me, I know.
But once you stop obsessing about him and trying to get his attention, you’ll start to feel less bad about yourself.
Do you know what’s better than getting a guy to like you? Feeling good about yourself.
You’ll realize that you are a great person and that there is plenty of other fish in the sea. You deserve someone who likes you as much as you like them, who appreciates the amazing person that you are.
In fact, once you stop chasing your guy, you’ll see how many men out there are interested in going out with you and getting to know you better.
3) You become a better version of yourself
When you stop chasing a guy who doesn’t want you, you’ll have more time to work on yourself.
Who wouldn’t want to improve themselves?
I know I do.
The problem is that there are far too many fake gurus out there ready to sell you unrealistic and ineffective solutions for improving your life by becoming a “better version” of yourself. They want you to meditate, radiate “positive vibrations” and visualize the life of your dreams. They say this will make it come true.
Here’s the crazy thing:
Visualization and positive vibes won’t bring you closer to your dreams, and they can actually drag you backward into time-wasting, idle fantasy, and frustration.
But it’s hard to stop chasing a guy and improve yourself when you’re being hit with so many Instagram influencers telling you how a special kind of yoga, diet, or incense will transform your life.
You can end up trying so hard and not finding the answers you need that your life and dreams begin to feel hopeless.
You want solutions, but all you’re being told is to create a perfect utopia inside your own mind. It doesn’t work.
I want you to turn off all the noise for a second and get back to absolute basics.
What are you here for?
Before you can experience a real change, you need to really know your purpose.
I learned about the power of purpose from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself.
Justin used to be addicted to the self-help industry and New Age gurus, who sold him on visualization and positive thinking. It left him lost and confused.
That’s why he traveled to Brazil to meet the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, who taught him a life-changing new way to find your purpose and use it to transform your life and everything around you.
After watching the video, I discovered my purpose in life and it completely busted through the issues I was having with loneliness and feeling useless. This new way of finding success by finding your purpose actually helped me to stop chasing after the wrong guy.
4) You’ll realize what a waste of time it was
Here’s the truth: Once you stop chasing a guy who’s not that into you, you’ll realize how much time you wasted on him and how this relationship, in the end, didn’t make you feel any better.
Think about it:
Why would you want to be with someone that needs to be “chased”? If he wanted to be with you, you wouldn’t need to chase him.
You’ll also realize that while you were wasting your time on him, you could’ve been out with other guys and enjoyed yourself.
You could even have learned another language or craft, instead of wasting all that time and energy on him!
Now you can start going out on dates with other guys and being yourself again instead of being all woozy around him, waiting for his approval.
5) You’ll have more free time to do fun stuff
Here’s another thing. When you stop chasing a man and stop obsessing over him, you’ll realize that there are so many other things in life that are way more important than him.
To start with, you’ll have a freer schedule so that you don’t feel as if everything is planned around him. You’ll be able to go out with friends and have some real fun.
You can also focus on your work and building a career.
Instead of focusing on someone who doesn’t even know you exist, you can start spending more time doing the things that really make you happy, like going rock climbing or signing up for that pottery class, or even just reading romance novels or watching romantic comedies on Netflix.
6) You’ll be able to stand in your power
You’ll gradually start feeling more powerful and confident when you stop chasing a guy.
Sounds great, right?
You’ll start standing in your power again, which isn’t something that you can do if you’re constantly chasing someone.
Chasing guys are the opposite of standing in your power. It makes you feel vulnerable and powerless. And it makes the guy feel powerful and even more unattainable because he knows how much you like him.
But once you stop putting yourself through that, it will be easier for him to see who you are instead of focusing on how much emotion he can elicit from you.
7) You’ll get your self-respect back
The unfortunate truth is that chasing after a guy will make you lose all self-respect.
You’ll feel so desperate to be with him that you won’t care about the fact that he doesn’t really want to be with you.
You’ll compromise your standards for him and will lower your level of self-worth so much that in the end, even if he says he wants to be with you, it won’t feel like enough.
After all, why should you settle when there are so many other men out there who would love a chance to go out with someone like you? You’re better than that.
Once you stop worrying about him and start focusing on yourself instead, your self-respect will start coming back.
And once you stop chasing him, you’ll realize that he doesn’t really matter to you after all.
You’ll start to see yourself as a more attractive and confident person. You’ll realize that you are fully capable of attracting the right guy when he comes along.
8) You’ll get your self-esteem back
In my experience, when you stop chasing after a guy and start focusing on yourself, you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll start to enjoy every day again.
To be with a guy who doesn’t know how to love or appreciate you is pretty sad. It makes you feel worthless and undeserving of love.
But once you stop chasing him, you’ll realize how great you are and that you deserve a guy that loves your gorgeous self the way you are and respects your amazing personality.
9) You’ll learn to love yourself
You realize that love is not about finding a man, but about being happy on your own.
When I was younger, I thought that when I found “the one”, everything would fall into place.
But the truth is until you learn to love yourself, you’ll feel as if something is missing in your life.
It all starts with loving yourself because when you love yourself, then and only then will the right person come along and appreciate the amazing person that you are.
There’s a reason why you don’t find fulfillment in relationships – you’re reliant on your partner for happiness and not yourself.
But when you learn to trust yourself and tap into the incredible pool of personal power within you, you’ll find what you’ve been searching for all along.
You see, we all have an amazing amount of potential. We’re all capable of achieving more than we realize. Happiness is within reach, we just look for it in all the wrong places.
And this has a knock-on effect on everything else in our lives, including our relationships.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people restore balance to their lives, discover their personal power, and live life with passion at the heart of everything they do.
He uses a unique approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with an effective modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can build the life and relationships you’ve always wanted, simply by following a few of his techniques.
So if you’re ready to take the plunge and live the life you know you deserve, check out his genuine advice below.
10) You’ll stop being frustrated
There’s nothing worse than getting frustrated because you can’t seem to get a guy to like you.
But when you stop obsessing about whether or not he likes you, you’ll feel freer, less frustrated, and happier.
Instead of worrying about how to get him to like you, you’ll learn to do things that make you happy and be yourself. You’ll be able to get back into the dating game with an open mind and an open heart.
11) You start to live your best life
The best part? When you no longer chase a guy and stop obsessing over him, you’ll start living your best life.
You’ll finally be able to go out with other guys, have some real fun and enjoy life.
You’ll focus on yourself and start feeling good again. And when you feel good about yourself, you can attract the right kind of guy that deserves your attention.
12) You’ll have a more realistic expectation of dating
You’ll also start to have more realistic expectations about dating.
You’ll realize that just because it doesn’t work out with one guy and you can’t get him to love you back, it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean it won’t work out with someone else or that you’re not loveable.
It’s all part of the dating game, it’s a gamble; sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
All you have to do is stop chasing after him, stop obsessing over him, and find another guy that loves you for who you are.
13) You’ll wonder what you saw in him in the first place
After you stop obsessing about a guy, you’ll start to wonder what it is that attracted you to him in the first place.
Suddenly, he’ll stop being so attractive to you and you’ll realize he’s just an average guy.
That’s when you’ll discover that there are other guys out there who are much more interesting and attractive and worthy of your time.
14) You’ll realize he wasn’t the one
But wait, there’s more.
You’ll realize that the guy you were obsessing over isn’t “the one” after all.
Simply put, if he was your soulmate, he would know it – he would be drawn to you and you wouldn’t have to chase him or try to convince him that he should be with you.
The sooner you realize that he’s the wrong guy for you, the sooner you’ll be able to start looking for Mr. Right.
15) He’ll realize he wants you
Finally, when you stop chasing a guy, he might realize that he wants to be with you and end up chasing you.
Why? Because while you were chasing him, you seemed clingy and desperate.
But now, you’re unattainable and there’s nothing more than guys like than girls who are hard to get. It’s a primal male instinct thing – they love the chase because it makes them feel masculine.
How to stop chasing a guy
If you’re having trouble stopping yourself, here are some ideas on how to stop chasing a guy.
1) Go out with your friends
A night on the town with your friends is the perfect way to get your mind off a guy.
You’ve been spending all your free time and energy obsessing about this guy and neglecting your gals. Not anymore!
Instead of sitting at home checking your phone all the time, you need to put your best dress on and go hang out with your friends.
Trust me, you’ll be too busy having fun to think about him, let alone chase him.
2) Take a break from social media
Nothing makes obsessing about a guy easier than social media.
So, if you want to stop obsessing about him and chasing him, you need to stop checking his social media pages to see what he’s doing.
I’d recommend taking a break from social media for a few weeks. That means no more TikTok, no more Instagram, no more Snapchat, and no more Twitter.
A break from social media can do wonders, not just when it comes to taking a step back from this guy, but in other aspects of your life too.
3) Start a new hobby
Is there something you’ve always wanted to try – like tap dancing or photography – but you never had the time? Well, here’s your chance.
By taking up a new hobby, you’ll keep your mind occupied and you won’t have time to think about the man you’re chasing.
You’ll notice that you normally send him desperate texts when you have nothing better to do, but now you’re too busy having fun and being creative.
Once you’ve started a new hobby, you’ll wonder why it took you so long to do it in the first place.
4) Spend time in nature
Instead of focusing on him and whether he likes you or not, focus on doing things that make you happy and bring joy to your life – like reconnecting with nature.
For example, you could spend more time in nature.
Hike a trail, go for a swim in the ocean, lie on the grass and stare at the sky. It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re surrounded by nature and it can be breath-taking – in more ways than one.
This will make you feel good about yourself, it’ll make you forget all about this guy and make you realize how wonderful and complex our planet is.
5) Focus on your career
Here’s another way to stop chasing a guy – focus on your career.
Are you happy with your current position? Do you want a better salary? Do you want to climb up the ladder at work? Or maybe, you want to change jobs? Start your own company?
Work is a big part of our lives, whether we want it to be or not, so focus on making it something that you’re happy doing.
Shifting focus from a guy to work will help you stop chasing after him.
6) Work on your relationship with your parents
This might sound a bit weird. How is working on your relationship with your parents going to help you stop chasing after a guy?
But don’t underestimate the power of family and relationships.
Your relationship with your parents has an impact on the way you set goals, it affects the way you see yourself and it impacts how much respect you have for yourself. If you have strained relationships with anyone in your life, then it’s time to repair them.
Strive to create positive energy around yourself and spend more time with people that love, support, and respect you.
7) Get a pet
If you have a lot of love to give and no one to give it to, a dog or a cat might be perfect for you.
Instead of obsessing over a guy and wondering why he’s not calling you or why he doesn’t like you, you can go for a long walk with your dog. You can snuggle on the couch with your cat. You can enjoy spending time with them and focusing all your love and energy on them.
A pet doesn’t judge you or try to lead you on. They don’t expect anything from you and they’ll never leave you hanging, but they’re always there for you when you need them. (Just remember, pets are a big responsibility and once you get one, there’s no going back)
This doesn’t mean you should give up on love, but it may help take some of the pressure off and help you stop chasing guys who are not that into you.
8) Take a long trip
Taking a long trip can be one of the best ways to stop chasing a guy.
Travel can do wonders for your body and your mind.
It’s the perfect way to refresh yourself and get your mind off a guy – because while you’re traveling you won’t have time to obsess about this guy or fret over what he’s doing and whether he likes you or not. You’ll be too busy discovering new places and cultures, meeting new people, and tasting new foods to care about him.
There are so many places to visit, so many things to see and do – why waste your time on a guy who doesn’t want to spend time with you?
Take this opportunity to see what’s out there and make new memories that will last a lifetime.
And who knows, maybe you’ll end up meeting the guy of your dreams on one of your trips.
Chasing a guy is never a good idea.
You spend so much time and energy trying to get someone who doesn’t really like you to notice you. Eventually, you start to feel bad about yourself and miss out on life.
You should be with someone who appreciates you and who wants to be with you, not someone that needs to be chased.
Relationships are not supposed to be a struggle, they should be fueled by passion, trust, and love.
If you like him, tell him. It’s as simple as that. Don’t chase him because you’ll end up frustrated and hurt when he doesn’t feel the same way about you.
It’s hard to break the habit of chasing guys because we all do it at some point – but once you do, you’ll be a lot happier for it.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.