We all want to be appreciated — and your guy is no different.
The key to a happy relationship is to make a man feel needed and respected.
If you’re wondering “How do I make my man feel special?”, here are 25 ways to make a man feel like a King.
25 ways to make a man feel valued
1) Respect his boundaries and when he says no
Every guy wants to be his own man. He doesn’t want to have to justify the decisions he makes.
He’s a big boy and if he doesn’t want to do something, even if it’s frustrating for you, that’s his choice.
Sure, he may eventually cave in and agree if you keep on asking — but you’re also signaling to him that your wishes are more important than his.
If he says no — whether it’s a party you want him to go to or painting the spare room — respect his answer, rather than keep on pushing until he changes his mind.
2) Tell him you love him
If you love him, then let him know.
Even if you’re pretty sure that he knows or you’ve been together so long that you almost forget to tell him, it’s still important to hear it.
Every time you tell someone you love them you are letting them know that you value them.
Ili Rivera-Walter, Ph.D., licensed marriage and family therapist, says the words are so special because they are so exclusive.
“Because we say “I love you” regularly to only a few people, these three little words carry big weight…this significance defines the relationship as different and separate from all other relationships.”
3) Ask him what he feels and thinks about things
One of the best ways to prove that you value a man is to actively seek his opinions. We only listen to advice from those we respect.
From the little decisions, like what dress he prefers for your date night, to the bigger life choices you are making — ask him what he thinks about it.
That way, he knows that you are considering both his feelings and his thoughts on things in life.
4) Trust him
How many times have we heard that trust is the foundation of any relationship?
Trust goes so much further than just believing him when he says that he won’t cheat. We show trust through open conversation, honesty, and transparency.
Show him that you trust him by opening up rather than being guarded. Share your secrets with him and answer his questions freely.
“Honesty requires that you be true to yourself and your partner by putting everything on the table without hiding. Openness requires you to share the vulnerable things that feel hard to talk about, and hold the space for your partner to share as well. Transparency requires that you’re in tune emotionally with what’s being said, felt, heard, and understood.”
5) Never belittle him
Nothing makes me cringe quite like being at a dinner party with a couple who undermine one another by getting at everything each other says.
Public put-downs, passive-aggressive comments, or mockery are far from putting on a united front. There’s a time and a place for everything.
Pointing out what you perceive as someone’s failings in front of others or bringing up issues in totally the wrong environment is humiliating. It’s difficult to believe that we are valued when someone belittles us.
6) Let him know you see his strengths
Whilst we recognize the importance of acknowledgment in certain scenarios in life, often in relationships, it can go neglected.
As children grow, we tell them often how well they have done or how good they are at some particular skill.
Even in the workplace, how proud does it make us feel when our boss lets us know that we did a fantastic job on that quarterly report or that we have a special knack for dealing with tricky customers?
The reason is that when someone goes out of their way to tell us that they see our positive qualities and attributes — we know we are valued. If your guy stands out amongst the crowd in some way, tell him that you recognize that.
7) Show appreciation for what he does
Thank you is such a small and humble word, but it means so much — and so does its absence.
How to make a man feel loved and respected?
Sometimes it’s as simple as looking him in the eyes and saying thank you for everything he does for you.
Even if it’s just simple little things, like making you a cup of coffee in the morning or rushing to the door to help you with shopping bags, never ignore his efforts.
Not only does it let him know that it’s not gone unnoticed, we’re more inclined to continue doing nice things for people when we can see that it is appreciated, rather than taken for granted.
8) Ask for his help
All men want to protect and care for the woman in their life.
In fact, according to psychologist James Bauer, it’s even part of their genetic makeup. Bauer’s hero instinct theory says that men are biologically driven to seek respect, provide, protect and care for loved ones and to feel appreciated for their efforts.
There are several ways to trigger his hero instinct, many of which are on this list — and getting his help on things is a big one. It makes him feel useful to you and valuable.
It could be something silly like reaching the top shelf, helping with heavy bags, or unscrewing a tight lid on a jar.
It’s not going to trigger this instinct though if you ask for him to do the vacuuming or arrange the flowers you just bought. The trick is to ask for his help in a way that lets him feel proud and manly at the same time.
If you would like to learn more about the hero instinct, check out James Bauer’s free video on how you can trigger the hero instinct in your man.
9) Be on his side
You don’t always have to agree with your other half but you do always need to have his back, no matter what.
It’s not about loyally nodding along to everything he says, it’s more about showing him that you two are a team.
Playing devil’s advocate too often in a relationship can make him feel like you are always taking other people’s side over his.
Even if you don’t always see eye to eye on his stance, make sure he knows that he is your man and you have his best interests at heart.
10) Encourage and support his dreams
The people closest to us are the ones who we need more than anybody to believe in us.
If he has a great idea or a dream he wants to accomplish, he wants to hear from you that if anyone can do it, he can.
I know that when I started my own business several years ago, it meant the world to me that my man had even more faith in me than I did in myself.
Whilst some other people in my life seemed less enthusiastic or even questioned the practicality of giving up my job to work for myself — he was super encouraging and supportive.
Seeing myself through his eyes made me realize just how valued I was to him. So if you want to make your partner feel this way, be sure to support his goals.
11) Compliment him
Even people who seemingly get flustered by compliments still want to receive them. Because everyone deep down wants to hear nice things from the people they care about.
So whether it’s complimenting how handsome he looks in his new suit, how good he smells today, or how sexy he is when he walks around in just a towel — be sure to flatter him.
Our words are powerful and a heartfelt compliment shows approval, respect, admiration, gratitude, and appreciation.
Telling him nice things also means letting him know how you feel about him rather than keeping it to yourself — if he’s your hero, don’t leave him in any doubt.
12) Give physical affection
Without physical affection and intimacy within a relationship, it is basically a friendship.
Your body language shows a lot about how you feel about someone. Even little things like looking at him when he speaks show your respect or facing towards him and leaning in when you’re in conversation shows him he has your attention.
Little touches throughout the day reinforce a bond — a kiss, a stroke on his arm, or rubbing his shoulders.
There can be a bit of a stereotype or expectation for guys to do all the chasing when it comes to sex but he wants to feel desired just as much as you do. Don’t always leave it up to him to initiative intimacy.
If you come onto him, you are signaling loud and clear that he is wanted.
13) Let him make his own decisions
In a partnership, you will always ideally consult one another with decisions that may impact both of you — but his life choices (big and small) are ultimately his own to make.
He doesn’t want to have to ask your permission before he does something or goes somewhere. It’s natural to offer advice or support but that should never spill over into control or you may find your relationship quickly becomes toxic.
He is looking for a partner and not a mother, so show him that you understand he knows what is best for him.
14) Forgive him
Sometimes it’s less about the things we do and just as much about the things we don’t do which shows how much we value our partners.
If he messes up or makes some silly mistake, let it go rather than turning into a fight.
We are all capable of doing or saying dumb stuff from time to time. Particularly when it’s a small thing, it can be much better to bite your tongue and drop it.
The thing about forgiveness is that it defuses anger. When he sees that you don’t hold on to arguments, he’ll not only feel valued but he’s also more likely to meet you halfway, rather than get defensive.
15) Give him priority
As a general rule, the things we value in life take priority.
Of course, our priorities are bound to change and shift depending on whatever is going on at the time — which is ok. But ultimately, if you value him, he will consistently come close to the top of your priorities.
If you always choose other things, like your work, your friends, your family, your hobbies, over him — it’s signalling that he is less important.
Sometimes at the beginning of a relationship when everything is new and exciting we automatically give our partner priority. But after a long time, when you start to live with one another, or after children come along — you may find that your man starts to slip down your priority list.
Even if in your heart you know that he comes top, in order to feel valued he also needs to see that he has your full attention sometimes too.
16) Really listen to him
Nothing is quite as dismissive as feeling like we haven’t been heard.
Most of us could probably do with a little work on our active listening — I know I could.
Rather than distractedly doing other things whilst he talks, interrupting, or jumping in with some advice or opinion of your own, be sure to really engage with what he tells you.
Here are some tips we can all follow to become better listeners to our partner:
- Try not to judge what he says
- Be patient and don’t try to rush him or fill any gaps in silence when he is thinking.
- Give feedback in both verbal and nonverbal ways that show you are listening – like smiling, eye contact and leaning in.
- Ask questions
- Reflect back on what he has said to show you understood
- Ask him to explain or clarify anything that needs it.
17) Be vulnerable
It can be scary but vulnerability is also how we see that others will accept our authentic self.
We don’t open up to just anyone, which is what makes this act so special. A lot of us wear masks in our daily lives, playing different roles for different people. It takes a close relationship for us to be able to be completely ourselves.
Being open with him and vulnerable is a powerful way to prove that you value and trust him enough to be the real you.
18) Don’t try and change him
Too many people in relationships secretly think they’ve taken on a project to work on.
Almost like it’s a house renovation, not a person, and they can fix it up how they would like it to be. But we are only ever responsible for changing ourselves. It’s not our job, or even our right, to try to change somebody else.
Of course, there will always be a give and take in a relationship, but we also have to accept how people are and then decide whether we can live with all their little imperfections (because we all have them).
Don’t try and force him to change the things about himself that you don’t personally like — whether it’s what he wears, what he eats, or certain habits. If you want to make a man feel truly valued, then accept him for who he really is, warts and all.
19) Thoughtful gestures
We only go out of our way for the people we care about.
Grand gestures may be impressive but they’re not always necessary, as it’s often the little things that matter most.
That could be surprising him with his favorite dinner when he gets home or picking him up a magazine you know he reads whilst you’re at the store. There are 1001 small ways to let him know he is in your thoughts.
20) Give him freedom
One of the most respectful things we can do for someone in a relationship is giving them space and freedom.
Even when we go from a “me” to an “us”, that doesn’t mean we want to give over our autonomy to someone else.
Trying to keep your man on a short leash is one of the most emasculating things you can do.
Understanding and accepting that we all need time to ourselves, to hang out with friends or enjoy hobbies, stops us from being too demanding or needy in a relationship.
21) Look nice for him
Dressing up or trying to look good for someone is a way of making an effort.
It’s a visual cue that says, “hey I still care what you think, I want you to find me attractive and I value your attention (and eyes) on me.”
When we think back to our first dates, most of us probably put a lot of consideration into what we would wear, how we’d do our hair or even the perfume we would put on.
As time goes on and when we get more comfortable, it’s understandable that the sexy underwear gets pushed to the back of the drawer in favour of the sweatpants.
But every now and then, dressing up nicely, not because you’re going anywhere, but just for him, is a great way to make him feel special.
22) Don’t reject him
Don’t assume he has a thick skin. Every time he makes an effort with you and you throw it back in his face, it’s a knock.
That rejection could be physical — like if he comes over to hug you and you shrug him off. Or it could be his effort — like if he prepares a meal for you but you’re more concerned with the mess he made in the kitchen.
Sometimes we don’t always see the little ways we dismiss our partner’s suggestions, affections, or attempts at showing us they care.
Brushing him off will make him feel stupid and leave him wondering why he even bothered.
23) Watch your tone
Communication is everything and sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
In fact, a whopping 38 percent of the meaning we infer from a conversation comes from the tone of voice we use. That’s compared to only 7 percent that comes from the particular words we use. That means even the slightest changes in your voice, he’s likely to pick up on.
Nobody feels valued or respected if orders are being barked at them.
Of course, arguments happen, but the more mindful we are of the volume, pace, and even pitch that we speak to our partner in — the better.
24) Send modern-day love letters — aka texts
How to make a guy feel special through text? It’s a lot easier than love letters, that’s for sure.
Texts used to be the place we would flirt when we first got together, but after a while, they can gradually become pretty boring or practical — like reminders to pick something up on the way home.
Remember when you used to get excited to hear your phone ping and hope it was from him?
You can bring back some of the romance through text to let him know that you value him. That might be a few well-placed kisses or cute emoji — or surprise him with a raunchy message whilst he’s at work to brighten up his day.
25) Let him know he makes you happy
If he loves you, then above all else your man wants to make you happy. Sure you can show him, but it’s also important to tell him.
One of the quickest ways to feel unappreciated is if our partner never lets us know how much they love having us in their life.
If he makes you laugh, you wake up smiling whenever he is there or life is brighter, simply because he is by your side — he’ll feel so valued by hearing you say it.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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