When someone in your life left you and the relationship is now over, sometimes the heartache seems too much to bear.
The pain of watching them move on with their life, possibly with someone else, can be debilitating.
So what do you do? Well, if you’re looking for a way to get your ex back who has lost feelings for you, you’ve come to the right place.
I have listed 15 ways to get an ex back that work every time.
1) Don’t be bitter
You know that taste, right? That lingering bitterness that stays in your mouth, down your throat and sends acid to your stomach.
If you allow bitterness to overcome you then chances are that you are going to feel miserable, and what’s the point of getting back with your ex?
So, how do you get rid of that feeling?
Listen, listen carefully.
Don’t take it personally since deep inside you know it’s not actually about you.
Don’t let it eat away at your insides leaving nothing but a bitter shell behind.
No matter what was the reason for your breakup, and no matter what the exact nature of your breakup was, there are certain things you ought to remember.
Suppress your bitterness and hide it from the world and from your thoughts – a lot of the time, bitterness is what splits relationships.
It’s not an easy thing, but you have to.
It’s a choice of survival and that is what it comes down to.
Never let bitterness linger in your heart and mind because that can only bring you more pain in the end.
2) Know why your ex lost feelings for you
Maybe they weren’t emotionally ready and that might have been the reason they ended up leaving.
Maybe they lost interest and it was time to move on.
Or perhaps in the end their relationship simply just wasn’t going anywhere, which is something else you need to consider.
Of course there may be other reasons as well, but those are the three main reasons in most cases.
So first off, work out why the relationship ended up being untenable in the first place. Maybe you have been coming on too strong, maybe you haven’t been coming on strong enough.
Either way, you need to know why they lost feelings for you so that you can avoid making the same mistake again.
Make sure that the next time around when your ex has feelings for you again, you are going to be there for them.
3) A relationship coach can give you the right advice
Once you’ve decided that this option is right for you and your situation, your next step is to find the best relationship coach out there.
And this is where I come in.
I know what you’re going through with your ex, because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too.
I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out.
I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach.
I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand how to get my ex back.
This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.
My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve when my ex lost feelings for me.
My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again.
4) Give them ample space and time
If your ex has lost feelings for you, you need to realize that time and space are absolutely crucial.
You need to give them both in order to demonstrate that you are willing and able to let go of the relationship.
Let your ex think things over and let them get past the initial turmoil they are going through at the moment.
And what’s more? Don’t try to stalk them or cling onto them because this will make you seem overly desperate, which is never a good look for anyone.
Some people believe that love means being with your partner all the time, but this is not always the case.
Your partner needs space, they need time and they need it away from you in order to process everything properly. Don’t be pushy about it, don’t try to force them into a relationship but instead give your ex that time and space to themselves.
You know the saying: “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.”
They say it because writing is difficult and often if you allow yourself to get too emotional when writing, your writing can lose its focus. So in order to keep yourself from feeling emotional, you just don’t allow yourself to cry while you write.
It’s the same with an ex who has lost feelings for you.
5) Understand what your ex is feeling
Some people think that it’s important to understand what you are feeling in a relationship, but that might not be the case here.
What matters is what your ex is feeling and their feelings are relevant as theirs are going to decide whether or not they want to get back together with you.
So instead of wasting so much time trying to understand how you feel, make sure that you are doing everything possible so that your ex can feel good and positive while they go over their feelings again.
Be patient – I understand that you may feel like you are drowning in the pain of your breakup and that you need to fix things now.
Your ex needs time to process everything and give the relationship a chance to grow into something better than what it was before.
6) Do things to improve yourself
While you are waiting for your ex to get back to you and show that they have feelings for you again, do things to improve yourself.
Yes, it’s a good idea to make yourself look better but it’s also about improving your life in general so that getting back together with your ex will be easier for both of you in the end.
Improve your relationships with other people, take some time out from being involved with your ex and focus on other parts of life.
Go on a date or go out as friends, get some hobbies and try something new.
This is the right time to work on yourself and let your ex see exactly what they would be missing out on if they don’t give you a second chance.
But no matter how much you want to change for the better, make sure to be your true self.
Don’t try to be someone else or some version of you that isn’t really you.
Show them who you really are and let them see exactly why they should give the relationship another chance.
Don’t hide behind a mask of false bravado, just relax and show them who you really are.
7) Attract your ex back with fresh, new feelings
If you haven’t been getting along with your ex after the breakup, then this step is going to be incredibly difficult.
In fact, loving someone involves having a great level of respect for them and that respect needs to grow as time passes by.
Even though you feel hurt right now, your ex probably feels hurt too when they break up with you. That’s why it’s so important to put a good amount of time between the breakup and when you start trying to win your ex back.
You need to give your ex time to get over the pain so that when they do get back together with you, they are ready for a relationship.
As soon as you feel ready, do what it takes to win them back while also making it clear that you respect them.
Show them that you can bring in new experiences with them:
– Plan a road trip together.
– Go on a camping trip.
– Make sure that you are actively listening when they talk to you (this is very important).
– Be open to compromise and be ready to give up on what you want if they don’t want the same thing.
In order to truly win your ex back, you need to do things differently than what got them into a breakup in the first place.
8) Make them realize what they’re losing
This step seems very obvious, but it’s also one that people overlook a lot.
What exactly are you trying to do?
You want to make your ex feel as if they’re missing out on something great. Not only that, you want them to start looking forward to getting back with you again.
Most breakups happen because of communication problems. If you don’t communicate well with your ex, it’s going to be difficult for them to understand why you want them back.
If you’re always fighting and yelling at each other, of course, there’s no way they are going to take that back into consideration and make the right decision.
Instead of looking back on their relationship after they break up with you, they should look forward and realize what they are losing out on if they let you go.
So what can you do in this situation? Send this “No Communication” text
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one needs to be sent to your ex at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with them that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need them to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex which will trigger their attraction for you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
9) Remember the reasons why you broke up
Do you know why you broke up with your ex?
Maybe your ex wanted to move on and have a different type of relationship.
Maybe you two were growing apart and one of the two or both of you decided that it would be best for both of you if the relationship ended.
Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to remember it so that when your ex does want to get back together with you again, they will see that it’s a good idea.
They want to keep things simple and uncomplicated in their lives, so having an understanding partner like yourself will make them appreciate getting back together with you even more than before.
Think of the ways that you could’ve changed for the better to make them want you even more. Realize that the past issues were just temporary and not something that you needed to carry on with forever.
This is actually something that I do all of the time, but I’ve definitely seen a difference in the way people feel when they talk to me compared to who they talked to before.
Trust me, you don’t want to give up on the relationship yet.
10) Establish a great friendship with them
There are many ways to get a relationship back on track after the breakup.
One of the most common ones is to start communication with them again once the two of you were willing to do it.
I know, it might be weird and even difficult to be friends again with an ex, but it can be done.
What you’re going to have to do is wait for a moment where the two of you have both had enough space between each other and are able to communicate constructively again.
Let them know that you’re willing to be friends though, if possible.
To start a friendship with an ex sounds really complicated, but you can start with these simple steps:
– Send them a message and say that you’re willing to be friends
– Ask them if they’re willing to be friends with you back
– Be willing to communicate with each other on a regular basis in order for the two of you to continue the friendship.
– If neither of you are very comfortable with this, then don’t force it, and don’t try to force something too early.
Just wait for the two of you to get into a good enough spot where being friends again is a possibility.
In order for this step to work out, you need to be open and communicative with your ex. After the breakup, they will most likely be confused and hurt, but as you communicate with them more often, they’ll be able to see that you’ve changed to become a better person.
The longer you are able to maintain this type of communication, the higher the chances of getting your ex back increases.
Remember: no matter what rift there is between the two of you at this moment in time, the best way to approach it is through cautious friendship.
If things go well while your ex and you are friends again, things might click in place for a new relationship.
11) Remind them of great memories you had together
Yes, the breakup was inevitable, but there will always have more happy and loving memories that you have shared together than any negative ones.
When you are missing your ex while they’re gone, it’s definitely going to be hard to think of them and what you used to do together.
You might even cry yourself to sleep at night because you miss them so much.
How can this be a good thing?
Because it reminds you that the breakup wasn’t really necessary. You two were good together, and all those great memories will eventually make the two of you want each other again.
Don’t be too direct when you try to remind your ex about your happy times together, though. Just let them know simple things like, “I miss the way we used to be” or “Hey, I remember when we went out that night one time.”
These words could spark a strong emotional reaction from them. They’ll feel a sense of happiness come back within their heart again.
You can also post pictures on your social media that were taken during that period, but not necessarily pictures of your ex.
It’s the perfect way to leave a sentimental reminder for them of what you had together.
12) Have a conversation with your ex and tell them how much you miss them
Having any kind of conversation with your ex once you’ve been separated from each other might be difficult, but not impossible.
You need to be aware that this might be the most important thing for you to do once you’re back on good terms again. This step is a little different than the first ones that I mentioned, but are similar in the way that they bring you both closer to each other.
Communication is key when trying to get your ex back together.
By having a nice and open communication with them, you’ll be able to speak about any issues that you have with them and also things that you’re proud about.
This is a good way for both of you to see what each other has been up to over the time since the breakup.
It will also prevent any future arguments from occurring between the two of you again or giving your ex another reason why they should stay away from you.
If you’ve gathered the courage, you can ask them to meet up for a cup of coffee to talk about a few things that you’re unsure about.
This could be a good opportunity for you both to get back together if you’re willing to start talking about the past and what could’ve gone wrong for the two of you.
If you do this right, your ex will realize that they still care about you and want to be with you again.
13) Show them that you care and think about them
At this point, your ex has seen some changes in you.
They’ve seen how much you’ve grown and how all the bad habits that they hated about you are gone.
If not, then at least they should see that you regret breaking up with them.
To make these changes stick though, one of the best things to do is let your ex know that you’re doing better on your own now.
They’ll be able to see that there’s another side to you that they haven’t known before or have been around for quite some time now. This is a good way for them to know that you have changed for the better and that the breakup was unnecessary.
By doing this, you can also show that you really care about them.
If you do decide to get back with your old flame, make sure that they’re truly worth it because they might not always be there for you in the future.
You need to learn your lesson from all the mistakes that you’ve made and be able to make better decisions moving forward.
Doing all of these steps correctly should be enough to get it right, but if you can’t and things don’t work out, that’s okay because it means that you have figured out some things about yourself and your ex all on your own.
You can always move on – life is just too short not to love.
But if you really want your ex back for good?
You’ll need the help of Brad Browning. I mentioned him earlier, he’s developed some incredible techniques to help rebuild the love and trust between you and your ex.
And the best part?
With his practical advice and tips, you could be in contact with your ex much sooner than you think. Are you ready to take the plunge and fight for the love you once shared together?
If so, check out Brad’s excellent free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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