Few things in life are as painful as unrequited love, especially when it involves your wife.
But don’t worry, there are things you can do for yourself in this situation when you are dealing with unrequited love with your wife!
10 steps to deal with unrequited love with your wife
1) Acknowledge the pain
This is the first step to deal with unrequited love with your wife.
When you are in pain, it’s easy to blame the people who are closest to you.
You may find yourself resenting your wife for not being the person you loved and being unable to express your love in return.
People in pain often try to externalize it and take it out on others.
Feelings of guilt and shame can also come up because when you’re in love with your wife, you want to feel the love back and you don’t.
Acknowledging that the pain is there and that you don’t deserve it will help you start to heal and take care of yourself.
You see, awareness is always the first step toward healing, and in this situation, you need to become aware of what is happening within you.
Once you acknowledge that this situation is painful, you allow yourself to actually feel your emotions and then move on from them.
2) See the truth about unrequited love
When you are in love with your wife, you want to feel loved back in return.
You want to feel like your feelings are returned and to have a romantic relationship with your partner.
This is simply not possible when you love your partner but they don’t love you back.
This sort of situation is called unrequited love.
Unrequited love is a painful situation that often leads to unhappiness, frustration, and disappointment.
Justin Brown summarized unrequited love perfectly in his video below “The brutal truth about unrequited love in the modern age”.
In his video, he talks about unrequited love from a different perspective that you might have never thought about.
After watching this video, I guarantee you will see your own situation through new eyes, believe me!
But in order to really accept unrequited love, we need to understand what causes it in the first place.
Unrequited love can be caused by a number of things, one of which is the fact that your partner may not be attracted to you.
Even if your partner does love you, they may not be ready to pursue a romantic relationship with you.
It may be that your partner is dealing with some issues in their own life that make it difficult for them to be in a relationship.
You might think: “But this is my wife, she was supposed to love me!”, and you are 100% right, but sometimes, people’s feelings simply change.
There are a few more causes of unrequited love:
Your passion overwhelmed her
First and foremost, it could be that your passion for your partner overwhelmed her.
You see, sometimes people are really closed off to intimacy and connection, and when someone else shows them exactly that, it can feel overwhelming at first.
Now: this can either open a partner up or make them shut down completely, and I guess in your case the latter happened.
She just doesn’t feel the connection
This one is though as there is nothing either of you could have done differently to change the outcome: if she just doesn’t feel the connection, she just doesn’t feel the connection.
Some people want to love their spouse, but for some reason, they just can’t feel a connection, and this can cause a lot of problems in a relationship.
It’s hard because I’m suspecting there was a connection at some point, otherwise she wouldn’t have gotten married to you.
If your partner didn’t want to be in a relationship with you, they probably wouldn’t have told you how they felt.
In fact: it’s unlikely that they would have told you at all if they didn’t feel the same way about being in an exclusive relationship with you.
However, sometimes a connection can fade, and then it gets tricky for the partners.
You wanted a fantasy kind of love
Sometimes, we project our own past onto our partners, idolizing them in our own eyes.
Is that something that could have happened here?
If it is, that can be a cause for unrequited love, your wife just didn’t idolize you the same way.
The problem is that if your wife idolized you, then she’d be more likely to want to be with you.
But if she didn’t idolize you, then there’s a chance she’d want to end the relationship.
It’s like: “I love the idea of being married to him, but I don’t feel like actually being with him.”
What would a relationship coach tell you?
While this article will shed light on the main steps to deal with unrequited love with your wife, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like unrequited love. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
3) Make a plan for yourself to leave the situation
This is perhaps the most important step to deal with unrequited love with your wife.
You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you happy, and if you are in a situation where your feelings are not being returned, it needs to change.
You have to decide if you can stay in the situation and make it work for you or if you need to leave the situation.
If you can change your relationship with your wife, you may be able to find the love that you want.
However, if the situation is not fixable, you will need to leave it in order to find happiness.
There are many ways that you can leave a situation that is causing you pain.
Make a plan on how you can go about it.
I will be honest with you here, if you are dealing with unrequited love, this will only make you miserable in the long run, so try to get a divorce as soon as possible and move on with your life.
I know you love her, but sometimes, it’s best to move on and find your own happiness!
Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the relationship and the feelings that we have for our partner that we can’t see any other way of life.
We get so attached to them and feel like they are the only thing in our life, so when they end, it can be very painful.
But if you keep moving forward with your own life, you will be able to find someone who loves you as much or more than your ex-partner loved you, and you will be happier.
So, don’t let her keep you stuck in a relationship without love, and find the happiness you deserve!
4) Take care of yourself
One of the best things to do when you are dealing with unrequited love with your wife is to take care of yourself.
Your feelings are valid, and you need to do what it takes to heal.
You might need to spend some time alone to sort through your emotions or spend more time with people who make you feel good.
You might need to talk to someone about your feelings or go to therapy.
Maybe you need to change your daily routine so that you aren’t constantly reminded of your spouse. If you have children, you need to put their needs first, even if you are in pain.
Whatever the case, make sure you take care of yourself. This is an extremely difficult time in your life, so cut yourself some slack, okay?
5) Try to understand why she doesn’t feel the same
You might be tempted to blame your wife for your feelings and unrequited love, but that’s not fair.
Your wife might be dealing with her own issues that are making her unable to return your love in the way that you want.
Try to be understanding of your wife’s situation and the things that are affecting her.
For example, if your wife is dealing with depression, it may be making it difficult for her to be as affectionate as you would like.
You can’t control your wife’s feelings, but you can let her know that you care and want to support her.
Even if you are not together anymore, that is not a reason to be resentful about one another.
If you choose to get a divorce, understanding why your wife didn’t reciprocate your feelings can be helpful in your process of moving forward.
6) Give yourself time and space to heal
You may think that you can fix your feelings for your wife quickly, but that’s unlikely.
You need time to heal from your feelings of unrequited love, and you can’t rush the process.
You can speed things up a bit by doing things that you enjoy, but you need to give yourself time to sort through your emotions.
You may need to spend time alone to think things through, and you may need some time away from your spouse.
Perhaps you need to give yourself a break from the relationship in order to heal and regain your perspective.
You may need to change your daily routine or even see a therapist to help you move past your feelings.
You see, whatever you do, don’t rush yourself during this time.
Healing your emotions takes a lot of time, and it’s important that you give yourself that time.
Don’t be afraid, to be honest with yourself and others about how you feel.
If you are struggling with unrequited love, then talking to someone close to you can help you realize those feelings.
You don’t have to go through this alone, so it’s important that you talk to someone about your issues before things get worse.
If you’re open about your situation, then others will understand your struggles and be able to offer support.
It’s important that everyone involved knows what is going on so that everyone can move through the process of healing together.
7) Don’t dwell on the past
You need to learn from your experience of unrequited love, but dwelling on the past won’t really help you.
You have to let go of the past so that you can live your life and move forward.
Find ways to help you move past your feelings.
Spend time with people who make you feel good, do things that you enjoy, and take care of yourself.
Sure, you will probably think of your wife and your time together from time to time, but try to not dwell on it too much.
Whenever it crosses your mind, gently redirect your thoughts to something else.
You need to keep busy in order to avoid thinking about your wife.
Spending time with friends, taking care of yourself, and doing things that you enjoy will help you move past those feelings.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by your situation, then it’s best to talk to someone about how you feel.
It’s important to be open and honest when talking about your issues so that others can understand your struggles.
8) Learn from the experience
When you find yourself in a painful situation, like dealing with unrequited love with your wife, you have a choice: you can let the situation defeat you or you can let it make you stronger.
You can use the experience to help you grow as a person. You can learn things about yourself and how you want to interact with the world.
You can use the experience to make you a better person.
In the beginning, this will be difficult, no doubt about it.
But the more time passes, the more you will figure out how to learn from this experience.
You see, every experience in life is a lesson, but you need to choose to learn from it.
In this case, you might learn about your own emotions, how to love someone, how to move on, and how to put your own needs first.
9) Remember that there are people who love you a lot
There are probably people in your life who love you. Your friends and family may feel bad that you are in pain.
You can take their support and love to help you through this situation.
You may also be able to find love in other people, like your therapist or support group members.
If you can’t find love in other people, you can find it in yourself. Loving yourself is important and it can help you get through this situation.
Remembering that your wife is not the only source of love in your life will be incredibly helpful in moving on from this situation.
You see, there is love everywhere and you are so loved.
10) Distract yourself with things that make you happy
There are lots of ways to distract yourself when you are dealing with unrequited love with your wife.
You can spend time with friends, go to a movie, read a book, or do anything else that helps you take your mind off your feelings and enjoy yourself.
You can also do things that make you happy, such as exercising or meditating.
Find ways to make your life better so that you are less likely to focus on your pain.
There’s no magic cure that will make the pain disappear, but there are ways to make it easier to deal with until it goes away.
It will happen eventually, whether you want it to or not. So why not make the process easier for yourself?
It will get better
I know, this situation is anything but easy, but the one thing I need you to remember is this: it will get better.
As time passes, the pain won’t feel as strong and you will start to find joy in life again.
But not just that, you will also find someone else to fall in love with eventually.
Don’t give up, you deserve to be happy and that happiness is coming, you just have to persevere.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.