Unrequited love is hard enough as it is, but with a narcissist?
That’s a whole other story. If you are dealing with unrequited love with a narcissist, this article is exactly what you need.
I will tell you the 10 steps to dealing with this situation and getting over it.
1) Understand what you’re dealing with
Narcissists are people who have an extreme amount of self-centeredness.
They are very much focused on themselves, sometimes even to the point of delusion.
They lack empathy, have an inability to feel shame or guilt, and have an inability to really care about others.
The easiest way to understand narcissism is to think about what happens when someone has a really huge ego.
It’s not just an inflated sense of self-worth; narcissists actually believe that they are exceptional or superior to others.
They don’t have a realistic view of their own abilities. They also don’t understand other people’s feelings. They tend to be very manipulative and controlling.
Now: understanding all that, you can probably already guess why you are dealing with unrequited love.
However, it’s not always that simple. Unrequited love on its own is already something that’s not always easy to understand.
But don’t worry, I got you!
Justin Brown made a video about unrequited love that will answer all your questions. He approaches the topic from a very unique angle, making it understandable and offering you some reassurance.
Trust me, if you want to understand unrequited love a bit better, you need to watch this video:
2) Recognize that it’s not about you
The fact that you are dealing with unrequited love with a narcissist is not about you.
It is not because there is something wrong with you or that you don’t deserve love.
It is simply because narcissists are incapable of loving others.
In fact, their inability to love is probably the reason why you are in this situation.
When narcissists love someone, they will do anything to keep that person in their lives.
If a narcissist doesn’t feel the same way about you, they will have no problem letting you go.
Recognizing this will help you let go of the self-blame and refocus on your own wellbeing.
This is about them, not you!
3) Find out why you’re still hooked
The reason why you’re still in this situation, even though it seems to be going nowhere, is that you’re hooked on the drama.
Being involved with a narcissist will always be a serious drama.
If he or she does love you, it will be a painful, suffocating love that you can’t get out of.
If he or she doesn’t love you, it will be painful in an entirely different way.
Psychologists argue that people who get caught up in destructive relationships are drawn to the excitement and drama.
You may recognize that you’re still involved with the narcissist because it’s exciting.
Perhaps you’re hoping that he or she will suddenly realize their mistake and come running back to you.
Bringing awareness to why you are still in that situation will be the first step to freeing yourself from that narcissist.
4) Know that recovering will take time
Recovering from unrequited love with a narcissist won’t happen overnight.
You need to understand that this is a very serious situation and take the time to properly address it.
This means that you need to change your lifestyle, your thoughts, and your state of mind.
You need to methodically work through these steps to get over your ex-narcissist.
You can’t rush the process. It will take time and effort.
But it is possible to get over this situation. You just need to be patient and persistent.
Remember that no matter what, you will be okay and that with each day, you’re making progress, even if it doesn’t always feel like it!
5) Get help from friends or family
When you’re dealing with unrequited love with a narcissist, it’s important that you don’t deal with it by yourself.
You need to have someone you can share your feelings and emotions with.
You need to have someone there to support you and remind you that things will eventually get better.
If you don’t have anyone like that in your life, try to find someone.
Reach out to friends, family members, or even online forums.
If you’re lucky enough to have a friend in your life with whom you can be 100% honest, you should tell them how you feel and how this is affecting you.
This will not only give you a different perspective of the entire situation, but it will also help you to feel loved.
Talk to a relationship coach
While this article will shed light on the main steps to deal with unrequited love with a narcissist, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like narcissists.
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
6) Don’t stalk or engage in drama
While you’re trying to recover from unrequited love with a narcissist, you have to make sure not to go too far.
Stalking or otherwise contacting your ex is only going to make the situation worse.
It will lead to drama and may even endanger your own mental health.
It’s important that you don’t stalk or engage in any form of drama.
This includes things like cyberstalking (Google it for more information), abusing social media, or sending your ex messages that you don’t need to send.
Remember, the more distance you bring between you and the narcissist, the easier it will be to get over them!
7) Give yourself some emotional space
One of the best things you can do when you’re dealing with unrequited love with a narcissist is give yourself some emotional space.
By this, I don’t mean that you should move away or anything like that. What you should do, however, is make sure that you aren’t constantly thinking about your ex and his/her feelings.
Spend time on things that don’t involve your ex.
You can meet some new people, go on a trip, read a book, or do whatever else you enjoy.
The key is to do things that distract you from your unrequited love for a narcissist. This will help you begin to move on from the situation.
You see, the emotional space will also help you remember that you are a loveable person who lots of people would be lucky to have in their lives.
8) Focus on rehabilitating, not revenge
When you’re dealing with unrequited love with a narcissist, you will probably want to get revenge on them.
This is a very normal feeling, especially if they have hurt you in any way.
However, you need to make sure that you don’t take things too far.
Revenge isn’t healthy, no matter how much it might make you feel better.
You don’t want to fall into an unhealthy pattern of self-hatred.
That’s why it’s important to focus on rehabilitating yourself.
You can do this by spending time on the things that you like to do, improving your mental health, and surrounding yourself with positive people.
9) Remember that narcissists are incapable of love
Remember that it’s not your fault. Remember that you deserve better. Remember that this will not last forever.
You need to remember that you have the power to heal.
Remember that you are a worthy person and that you deserve love.
Remember that there are people out there who will love you.
Remember that this situation is not your fault.
I could go on and on and on about this because all these things are so important.
Most importantly, remember that you are a worthy person and that you deserve love.
10) Try to find the lessons in this experience
The best way to move on from unrequited love with a narcissist is to try to find the lessons in this experience.
It’s important that you don’t just try to forget this experience as quickly as possible.
You should instead look for the things you can learn from it.
Maybe you learned how to deal with difficult people.
Perhaps you learned how to be more confident in your own abilities.
This experience might have taught you the importance of setting boundaries.
Maybe you learned how to be more independent from others.
What’s important is that you use this experience as a stepping stone in your life.
Use it to propel yourself towards a new future. With that said, don’t let this experience stop you from being in another relationship again.
In fact, this experience could make you better at relationships.
You may be more cautious and less likely to get caught up in drama.
Or, you may be more patient and understanding.
And the best part? Now, you may be more confident in your abilities to recognize toxic people.
Most importantly, you may be more willing to put yourself first.
I believe that everything in life can serve as a lesson if you just view it as such.
You will be okay
Now that you are out of that relationship, everything will be okay.
You deserve someone who reciprocates your love and that means that this narcissist is not the right person for you.
By seeing your own worth and not settling for less, you are showing yourself and the world what you deserve.
You will heal from this and you will be okay!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.