We’ve all set our expectations and ideas on what completes the total package regarding our ideal guy based on the romance novels that made our hearts melt, and our stomachs flutter.
Although many may disagree, I think that a good character is genuinely more attractive than what the external facade may offer.
Personally, I think we all set unrealistic standards for men in the same manner that they do for us.
At the end of the day, all we need is a good guy who will provide a healthy environment where we may thrive individually.
I’ve had lots of discussions with my girlfriends about the “perfect type of man”, so I thought I’d share some of our common points with you.
I’ve also come up with a few of my own observations after reviewing some of my older articles I’ve wrote in the past.
This is what I think every woman should be looking for…
Here are some traits of a good man with character:
1) He’s sensitive to other people’s needs
A guy who’s sensitive to the needs of others means that they always consider your feelings, which is very important in a relationship.
Misunderstandings are common, but at the end of every argument, validation is important.
In my experience of relationships with guys, insensitivity and the lack of validation towards feelings are one of the red flags that I advise you to watch out for because this factor is the key to resolving most conflicts.
2) He’s respectful to all walks of life
By all walks of life, I also meant to include plants and animals.
Men are always portrayed as tough, dirty, and unfeeling humans, but men with a soft spot for animals and plants boost their character because they show their capacity to love, care, and appreciate life.
And then, of course, the way he treats other people depending on their jobs and social status also affects their character.
One of my pet peeves is when a guy is rude to restaurant servers or waiters and then ultra-nice to people holding titles.
I never really get why the level of respect given to people depends on how much money they earn.
A guy has good character when he respects and gives due appreciation to every living thing in the world.
3) His communication lines are open
A man who’s always open to communication and compromise is always perceived as favorable, not just by his prospective partners, but also by everyone around him.
Having effective communication skills shows the depth of a guy’s character because it gives an insight into how they critically think and analyze.
Relationship-wise, I think that open communication is a bare minimum.
You shouldn’t have to ask for calm and judgment-free conversations because his line must always be open.
I know many men whose relationships were broken by a lack of basic communication.
A man’s communication skills paint the primary picture of his character.
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship before, and I can say that communication is very important.
It helps maintain relevance in your partner’s life and resolve conflicts before they develop.
4) He’s trustworthy
I think the real relationship goal is the ability to trust your partner without needing to have access to their social media accounts and phone passwords.
A guy is trustworthy when he himself guards his words and acts, to the extent that you don’t have to check on him every single minute or hour of the day.
I know it’s difficult, especially if the last partner that you had made you develop those trust issues, but a guy with a good character will choose to understand and let you heal through your issues.
If you’re having a hard time trusting a guy, no matter how sweet and passionate your relationship is, my one piece of advice for you is to run.
I’ve had a friend who felt iffy toward a guy she liked even before they started a relationship.
It turns out, her instincts were accurate because the guy had a different girlfriend in almost every city he visits (plus in each of his social media accounts as well).
5) He has self-discipline
When it comes to being trustworthy, self-discipline is one of the hints that you can trust this guy not to let himself be fed to a pack of wolves who wants him behind your back.
Plus, if you’re planning to eventually cohabit or build a life with this guy, I think it may be easier for you to be with a guy who keeps his side of the bed neat, his clothes folded, and his time allotted adequately for the right things.
I don’t think I could entrust my life and feelings to a guy who can’t even manage his own self.
6) He knows how to keep his word
Keeping your promises isn’t limited to being faithful and loyal; a guy has good character if he keeps his promises by diligently doing his responsibilities, showing up on-time, and paying debts when it’s due.
Surely, you wouldn’t characterize a guy as having a good character if his credit score is way too low, right?
This is also related to the trustworthiness of a guy.
For me, it doesn’t matter if a guy is faithful, if he’s always late for your dates, or if he keeps failing to provide for his share on your monthly bills.
Being trustworthy has a very large scope, so if he’s always breaking his promises, then he’s not a guy of good character.
7) He keeps his temper in-check
I’ve read (and fell for) a few novels that always romanticized a guy with a temper.
Our hearts always fluttered for the “bad boy with a heart” cliche but in reality, a guy with issues with his temper is a major red flag.
In my experience, a guy with a temper is nothing but selfish who’s bound to make you miserable.
A guy that makes people uncomfortable because of his temper is undoubtedly not of good character.
8) He supports your own growth
Growth isn’t always work-related, it can be something you need to fix within yourself or the skills you need to improve for your own character.
It’s also a plus point if the support that a man extends is matched with actions and feedback.
I know not many of us would agree, but one of the best traits one could look for in a guy is someone who is brave enough to provide proper constructive criticism.
Although I admit that negative feedback gets annoying sometimes, I have eventually become used to asking my current man for feedback on almost anything, such as my reactions, behavior, or outputs.
In a way, it helps me ponder and process my progress.
I think that criticism, on a healthy and non-abusive level, is one of the most underrated indications of love and care.
If a guy (whether a friend or someone special) criticizes your insensitive remarks or awful cooking, it shows his intention and effort to help you improve as a person.
9) He builds his success and stability
The capacity to give love and affection isn’t the only thing that defines a guy’s character, but his outlook on life.
What makes a man suitable is how he balances his commitments and responsibilities, shown in how he manages himself as he builds his path to success and stability.
I believe that a man who knows his goals in life is better than a guy who’s constantly fixated on me.
Sometimes I admit, I feel torn between seeking some affection from my partner and understanding that his success in life is also important.
In the end, being marveled at his career-driven side overshadows my need to have more attention from him.
10) He doesn’t champion toxic masculinity
It’s not the year 1800s anymore when most women depend on men to live. These days, it’s an equal society.
But if he still treats women like second-class citizen, then you don’t want to spend time with him. Like at all.
You also don’t want a guy who acts tough and powerful because he is insecure.
Instead, it’s better to date a respectful, kind, and honest man who will value you.
A man with good character will treat you like a queen and value your opinions. It’s important to find a man who also has goals and plans for his future.
There are lots of positive traits that guys with toxic masculinity lack, and you deserve to be with someone who is good for you. Stay away from guys like this and instead, go find someone better!
11) He’s willing to exert effort to save a relationship
Relationships are all about compromise. A man with good character will make his best effort to save your relationship by adjusting, compromising, and making sacrifices.
Whether you’re both in a relationship or married, sometimes you have to give up what you want for the good of the other person. Relationships are partnerships, and no one gains when the relationship is solely based on your own needs.
Think of the relationship as a bank because you both deposit and withdraw. No one will stay in a relationship if they are always getting short-changed.
12) He tries to be the best person that he can be
Being a good man is plain and simple: it’s when you try to be good.
Your character boils down to all your efforts to be a good person.
A perfect man is impossible because there will always be something wrong in every good thing.
It took me years to realize this but looking for perfection in a person will only bring out the worst in them.
During the first years of our relationship, my partner and I often argued about his mistakes until he got tired of them.
But even as our relationship crumbled at the time, he chose to be kind and to amend his mistakes. And that’s what makes up a man with a good character.
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