10 traits alpha men look for in a woman

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The alpha male is the top dog in his social circles.

He’s a natural leader and is usually the loudest and most dominant in a group. In fact, the alpha male is the type of man that other men want to be.

He’s also the type of man that women want to be with. But, what kind of woman does the alpha male seek?

We take a dive into what an alpha male exactly is, and the traits he looks for when it comes to women.

Discover exactly what it is that an alpha male is attracted to.

What is an alpha male?

There are generally two types of guys out there:

  1. The Alpha Male
  2. The Beta Male

As you might expect, the “Alpha” male is the one at the top of the social status hierarchy. It’s very easy to pick an Alpha Male when you’re in a group. Some of the common traits you can expect to see are power, money, and mates.

On the other hand, the “Beta” male is known as the weaker of the two. His status falls much lower in the social hierarchy. He tends to be more submissive and subordinate. He’s also well-known for being ‘the nice guy’ that women search for when they’re looking to settle down.

So, where exactly do these terms come from?

Believe it or not, they were coined from observations made among animals. Hence why the terms are very black and white, without much wiggle room in-between. It’s basically a simplified version of masculinity that has created some very broad characterizations in social circles.

It’s a term that has been used since the 1930s when David Mech wrote the book called The Wolf: The Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species, which looked into the alpha wolf. He originally thought they obtained this position aggressively, however, later research showed it came from mating, fathering cubs, and starting a family of their own.

Both these roles have their pros and cons. But in many ways, the most difficult task for an alpha male is finding a partner who can fit in by their side.

The alpha male is charismatic, charming – with a little bit of danger on the side.

They’re usually successful with women, as their personality naturally attracts them. But, finding a woman who is the right fit for them in the long-term: that’s a much harder task.

Here are 10 traits an alpha male should look for when it comes to finding a woman.

15 traits an alpha male looks for in a woman

1) Loyalty

As an alpha male, loyalty is one of the most important qualities they should be looking out for in a female.

As the leaders in their social group, there’s an expectation for their friends to commit to the friendship and remain loyal to them.

The same is true of any potential girlfriend.

Loyalty is a must in any relationship, but even more so when it comes to the alpha male.

2) Confidence

An alpha male relies on their woman being confident.

As an alpha male, they do what they want, when they want. And most important of all, they answer to no one. For this reason, they need a woman who can go off and do the same.

A woman riddled with insecurities is going to hold him back. He doesn’t have time to answer to her every worry and concern of their relationship.

Of course, a hint of submissiveness is also welcomed. The alpha male does like to be in charge and able to tell her what to do from time to time.

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3) Intelligent

Alpha men are also very intelligent men.

While once upon a time, there was a view of the alpha male as a brute who used physical forced to work his way up, that’s definitely not the case anymore.

In order for him to lead his group of social friends, he needs some intelligence behind him.

As an intelligent man himself, he needs to find a woman who can keep him intellectually stimulated.

More than that, a woman that won’t drag him down socially.

The alpha male never wants to be seen as weak.

This is actually a common mistake many alpha males make. They go after the superficial woman who will act as a trophy on their arm.

These relationships never last for long, as he eventually gets bored and calls it quits.

4) Passionate

Alpha males are very driven people.

They are always working towards their goals and striving to achieve more and more. It’s part of their personality trait to never settle for less. There’s always something bigger and better waiting for them around the corner.

It’s this passion that drives them in their everyday life, and it’s a passion they need to be able to share with a woman.

They need a woman who is just as passionate about life and achieving her life goals as he is. This is the type of woman who is able to keep up with his lifestyle and share in it by his side.

5) Secure

Jealousy is one of those traits that doesn’t look good on anyone. The alpha male needs a woman who is secure enough in who she is and the relationship they have.

The last thing the alpha male wants is a woman who questions every one of his actions.

Every time he talks to another woman. Every time he looks at another woman.

She knows your hers and she never questions it for a second. It’s about building up that essential trust in the relationship, so you can both still live your own lives without clinging to each other.

6) Life goals

An alpha male is always working towards something in his life.

He doesn’t need a woman looking to ride the coattails of his success. Rather, he needs a woman who has her own life goals she is working towards.

In this way, they act as the perfect motivation for each other.

When the alpha male finds himself off-track – which can and does happen – she’s there to help him find his purposes again. And vice versa. This is the kind of woman who can keep him on track and gear for success in his life.

7) Sense of humour

We all love to laugh in life. It’s what helps us enjoy it each and every day.

If she doesn’t make him laugh, then he’s going to tire of her very quickly.

The alpha male needs a woman that can share in his sense of humour and sharp wit. A woman that complements and challenges him on a daily basis.

This is what keeps the passion in the relationship alive, and keeps things interesting and fresh from one day to the next.

8) Unpredictable

Life is meant to be enjoyed, and an unpredictable nature can add to the fun.

As an alpha male, mystery, unpredictability and the unknown are all attractive. The alpha male is in the position he is in due to his strong grasp on life and all the situations that arise in it.

Finding a woman that is out of his grasp is exciting and new. Each day is spent trying to understand her. She fascinates him, and that fascination grows strong each and every day.

9) Patience

If there’s one thing an alpha male should be on the lookout for, it’s a little bit of patience. An alpha male tends to be quite erratic and assertive and not easily talked out of decisions.

Without patience behind her, a woman is going to find this personality extremely hard to live with.

Relationships take time and a lot of work to get right. An alpha male needs a woman to guide him through this period and who will stick by his side through thick and thin.

Alpha men aren’t always the easiest to live with…

10) Caring

While the alpha male needs someone who is confident, self-assured, driven and all those other traits above, he also needs one who genuinely cares.

Alpha men struggle with the concept of being in love. It requires a large degree of selflessness which they can find difficult. This is why they need a caring woman to lead the way for them.

Having a woman who is willing to work through his hard exterior to build a loving relationship between the two of you.

11) Feminine

Alpha men are very masculine. They are known for their strength and manly qualities, which they use to get ahead in life.

As a masculine man, they are in search of a feminine woman. She can still be confident and sure of herself, but also in touch with her feminine side.

It’s about the way she dresses, the way she holds herself, and the way she talks. All bringing out that softer more nurturing side, while still being able to stand up for herself when the need arises.

12) Assertive

This is a trait that the alpha male knows all too well. He’s used to doing what he wants, when he wants and using his assertiveness to do it.

He needs a woman that can do the same thing. Indecision isn’t sexy to an alpha male at all.

13) Stable

An alpha male doesn’t like drama in their life — especially not negative drama.

The last thing they need is a woman who is driven by her emotions, who tends to break down and lose it in public often.

The alpha male isn’t on the hunt for scandals. And he doesn’t want to be left picking up the pieces after a social situation.

He wants a woman who is stable and can hold her own in social situations, so he doesn’t have to babysit her or control any unwanted outbursts that could affect his reputation.

14) Open communicator

Often when it comes to relationships with women, there is a lot of guesswork.

The alpha man is attracted to a woman who is open and honest about who she is and what she wants and isn’t up for games. He doesn’t want to be tiptoeing around her feelings and being worried about stepping out of line.

The alpha man is used to saying what he wants, when he wants, without anyone holding him back or telling him otherwise.

A woman is no exception.

The key is open communication in the relationship, so they both know where each other stands at all times.

15) Accepting

The final trait an alpha male is on the hunt for is acceptance.

He needs a woman who accepts and understands his life and wants this for herself.

The last thing he needs is another woman who throws herself at him, simply because she likes the idea of what he has to offer. Only to be turned off down the track when she learns what exactly it entails.

Acceptance from the start is important for a lasting relationship.

How to attract an alpha male

You might be on the other side of this equation and be looking at how you can go about attracting an alpha male into your life.

We all know they’re charismatic, successful, confident, and leaders. It’s easy to see why they might be appealing.

But, as you know, alpha males have no issues when it comes to women. What they struggle with is finding the right woman.

Before you decide to chase an alpha male, it’s worth considering whether you actually see yourself as a good fit for his lifestyle.

Ask yourself these key questions:

  • Am I kind and caring with a good deal of patience behind me?
  • Am I physically appealing, fit and look after myself?
  • Am I independent and focused on future goals?
  • Am I feminine?

So, apart from possessing the traits above that an alpha male is on the hunt for, here are 5 ways you can attract an alpha male into your life.

1) Chase him

Ask (almost) any alpha male and you’ll likely find that they have never even asked a woman out on a date before.

This might sound shocking. But, the alpha male is used to being pursued.

And likely, pursued by a number of different women at once.

So yes, the first step in catching an alpha male is being willing to enter into the chase and put yourself out there.

2) Surprise him

Knowing how easy it is for an alpha man to find a woman, you need to stand out from the pack in order to get him to notice you.

Surprising him is a great way to go about this. Remember, the alpha male is fascinated by unpredictability and finds a woman who is out of his grasp even more appealing.

There are so many different ways you can go about it this.

  • Perform a bold act that gets his attention.
  • Dress differently to get him to notice.
  • Flirt with his friends while chasing him.

Anything that directs his attention and possesses the element of surprise. The alpha male loves to keep things interesting.

3) Praise him

If there’s one thing many alpha males have in common, it’s their ego that could always do with a little nurturing.

The alpha male always wants to feel like they’re the best at whatever it is they’re doing.

Some well-placed praise is the perfect way to encourage him, while also getting yourself noticed along the way. This goes much further than superficial praise.

The alpha male wants to be admired and can spot a fake from a mile away. After all, they are constantly being chased by women.

The more genuine you can be, the better chance you have.

4) Be there for him

Time is a precious commodity, and giving yours willingly to him is going to get his attention.

Of course, he doesn’t want you in his face stopping him from doing all the things he enjoys in life. But your presence is always welcome.

Show him that you can hold your own while spending time with his friends, and don’t need to be babysat when in a crowd. This display of confidence is exactly what he wants to see in a partner.

5) Be frank

At the end of the day, there is no point pretending to be someone you’re not.

The alpha male is going to see through this sooner or later and it will end up a huge waste of everybody’s time. Instead, be outspoken, be frank and tell it as it is.

As mentioned above, the alpha male knows how to read a female. He’s used to doing it.

Being frank is the best way forward. Be who you are and be proud of it. This independence and confidence is exactly what the alpha male wants to see.

Dating an alpha male

It’s true that dating as an alpha male is no easy task.

With women throwing themselves at you left, right and centre, it can be hard to sort the relationships from the failures.

By learning the key traits you’re looking for in a woman, it gives each new relationship the best chance of success.

Dating for the sake of dating can get boring after a while.

Finding true love that you can rely on is important. It’s something everyone deserves.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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