12 things to say to your ex to get him back (that actually work)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Stressing about what to say to your ex to get him back?

You’re not alone.

All of us have been there.

We’ve all experienced those painful breakups when you and your former beau are no longer a couple. 

It can be maddening and soul-crushing, even though you know in your heart the relationship just wasn’t right for the both of you. 

Nevertheless, a little preparation can help make things easier when you start to rebuild your relationship.

Here are 12 things to say to your ex to get him back that will actually work.

1) ​​Tell him you’re sorry 

Have you ever wondered why so many girls use the “I’m sorry” approach on their exes to get them back?

It’s because it works.

“I’m sorry. I know that I hurt you. If I could go back in time, I would’ve done things differently.”

You always start your relationship with an apology. 

Cliché as it is, an apology goes a long way to letting your ex know you understand what you did wrong and are working on making amends with him. 

You’re showing him that you’re sincere and that all of your relationship problems do not lie with him. 

Even if you’ve been behaving badly and you’re not ready to apologize for your mistakes, you know that it’s not too late for a new beginning with him.

If you’ve had a fight or fight and you haven’t apologized yet, do so before he does. 

Take responsibility for what happened and tell him how much he means to you. 

Tell him that despite everything else in the past, you care about what happened to him and will try to make things better in the future.

Don’t go overboard with the apology, but apologize enough for both of your mistakes and how they affected the relationship. 

We all make our share of mistakes. 

No one can have perfect lives 24/7, so some faux pas are bound to occur at some time or another.

2) Tell him you need him 

This is one of the best things to say to your ex in order to get him back.

In his heart of hearts, any man wants to feel needed; especially in a relationship. 

They pride themselves in knowing they are needed and doing things for their women. 

Some girls will tell you that if you need him, he won’t want you. 

That couldn’t be further from the truth.  

In fact, it often works just the opposite.  

Just like you want your ex back, he wants to come back to you too. 

When your ex wants to get back with you, he’ll be more willing to do anything that makes it happen.

So, why not use it as a tool? 

“I just can’t imagine my life without you. I miss you so much already.” 

You telling him how much you need him will not only make him want to commit to a future with you.

But, also subconsciously let him know that he will always be needed by you and the relationship.

Even if he makes a mistake or two in its progression.

If your relationship is lacking the ability for him to feel like he’s doing something right, then there is no reason for him to stick around.

Besides needing him, he also needs to know that you want him.

I’ll explain more in my next point.

3) Let him know that you want him

Needs and wants are two different things.

Just because you need something, it doesn’t mean you want it.

So, it’s important for him to know that you also want him…badly.

Being wanted is a good thing for any man.

He’ll feel more secure about the relationship and want to keep it going.

You’ll want to tell him how much you miss him and how badly you need his love. 

Ensure he knows that you want him to come back by telling him something like:

“I’m sorry I didn’t do the right thing when I should have. I hope you still have feelings for me. If not, then I understand, I just can’t live without you.”

It’s a powerful message and one that he’ll not only appreciate about you, but will also respect at times when he may need a reminder.  

There’s no shame in admitting that you’re deeply attracted to your ex and that you want him back. 

You can even be sexually flirtatious with him and tell him how much you miss him. 

He needs to know you’re secretly waiting for the day he comes crawling back to you and begs for your forgiveness. 

4) Tell him the truth about the breakup

The truth is often the best medicine when it comes to getting a guy back.

If you’ve been involved in a breakup, then let him know the truth about what happened. 

“It didn’t seem like we had that spark anymore.” 

“We both realized that we wanted different things from each other.” 

 Or whatever the reason was for calling it quits.  

You’ll make things easier for both of you if you can simply explain what happened and why it’s over between the both of you. 

As his past record shows, he’ll believe anything you tell him. 

Well, almost anything anyway. 

He’ll always forgive you right away and jump right back into your arms. 

However, it’s very important for you NOT to say the wrong things.

But, what are the wrong things.?

Well, getting guidance from a professional relationship coach can help you learn the right things to say to win your ex back.

You can find a coach to get tailored advice to your complex situation at Relationship Hero.

It is a popular site that people who are in the same situation as you go to, in order to get direct support on how to get your ex back from highly trained relationship coaches.

They’ve helped many couples find their way back to each other, and you and your ex could be next!

Click here to check them out.

5) Tell him how much he means to you

How you feel about your ex and how he means to you are two different things. 

Most guys want their woman back…but they don’t know how much they mean to her. 

It might be slightly too soon to tell him your undying love for him, but you can tell him how much you care about him. 

You want to let him know that you can’t imagine living without him and that the breakup has made you realise what a big mistake it was. 

Tell him that it hurts you more than he could ever imagine, and that it’s time to work things out if he still has feelings for you. 

You can also tell him how much of a difference he made in your life when things started going south with your relationship. 

“I know things were rough with us, but I’d like to thank you for being such an important part in my life.

The truth is, any woman will do anything to keep her man.

So, telling your ex how much he means to you is one of the best things you can say.

It will give him a new outlook on things and go a long way in getting him back. 

He’ll realize that you’re willing to overlook his bad behavior because he means so much to you in your life. 

6) Tell him how much you’ve missed him

Every man wants to know that he’s missed by his woman. 

If you’ve been missing him, then tell him how much you miss him. 

After he’s left, you’ll want to continue to let him know how much you’ve missed him.

You’ll want to remind him of what he’s missing out on and the things that you did together. 

Tell him how much the night with him meant to you and how much his companionship means as well. 

Tell your ex that you’re not sure why things went bad between the both of you, but that it was a mistake. 

Recount some of your best memories together, like how he made breakfast for you when you were sick or other similar things.

It will warm his heart and make him want to come back to you.

In addition, it will make you seem like a much more caring person than the one who broke things off with him in the first place.

You can also tell him that he’s the best you’ve ever had which is why it’s been hard for you not to miss him.

Check out my following point for more explanation.

7) Tell him that he’s too good to give up on

No man wants to be broken up with and then let go. 

He wants to know you’re still into him, and that you don’t want to throw away a good thing. 

If your ex is as great as you say he is, then tell him so. 

He’s amazing, he’s unique and he deserves to be treated like a king.

You may not have been comfortable doing it before he left…

But, now that you know how much he means to you and how great he is, you can start to tell him the truth around things. 

It’s a proven fact that when people know they’re great, they try harder and work harder in their relationships

Your ex will become more attentive towards you if you tell him that he’s too good to give up on.

You can also tell him that he’s too good for you and he doesn’t need to put up with your struggles in the relationship. 

He’ll feel better knowing that you think he’s worth sticking around for even when things start getting bad between the two of you. 

This will also make him feel good about coming back to rekindle the love between you both.

8) Tell him that you’re saving yourself for him

This is one of the best tactics that you can use to get your ex back. 

If you want to win him over, then tell him that you’re saving yourself for him. 

Tell him that he is the only one you want to be with and how much you miss being intimate with him. 

Regardless of where he stands with his feelings, you telling your ex that you’re saving yourself for him will always make an impression on him. 

It’s a turn-on for any man to know that his woman is waiting for him. 

Not only does he know that he has someone special who wants to be with just him; but also the fact that she isn’t going to sleep with other guys.

It’s pure honesty and it will make him feel incredible knowing that you’re still saving yourself for him. 

He’ll know that he’s special and he’s not like other guys who might come knocking at your door. 

He’ll feel very proud of himself knowing how great of a man he is.

The fact that you’re serious about your relationship will make him want to get back together with you more than ever.

9) Make it known that you’re willing to start over

If you’ve been through a breakup, then you know it’s hard to start things up again. 

But sometimes, it’s even harder to admit that the breakup was a mistake and that you want to try again. 

If you’re still willing to give things a chance and get back together, then let him know that you’re willing to start over with him.

Instead of waiting for your ex to come back to you, try telling him that you understand what went wrong and how it can be fixed. 

It’s the ultimate “I’m sorry” and it will mean the world to him when he’s feeling down about things between the both of you. 

Tell him that you’re willing to work things out and how much he means to you. 

The best thing is you can do all of this through text!

It doesn’t have to be complicated.

All you need to do is to remind him of why he loved being with you because there’s a good chance he’s forgotten all of the reasons.

Want a more thorough guide on how to do it?

Check out this excellent free video by James Bauer.

In this video, he gives you a step-by-step method that you can apply to change the way your ex feels about you and trigger deep feelings inside him. 

All through texts!

Here’s a link to the free video once again

10) Tell your ex how much fun it was spending time with him

The number one thing that you can do to get your ex back is to show appreciation.

Telling your ex how much fun it was spending time with him will strike a chord.

Not only is it true and honest; but you’re telling your ex how you appreciate the time that you spent together.

You’ll want to remind him of the good times that you had together, because they might not feel so good right now. 

Tell him how nice it was to go out and eat with him, just the two of you. 

Tell about those quiet dinners by a campfire when the world was at rest.

Make your ex remember what it feels like to be with you.

Remember how good it feels when your man tells you that he loves spending time with you?

It’s the same thing. 

He’ll feel good knowing that someone as beautiful and great as you would want to spend time with him. 

Remind him of the fun times that the two of you shared and how much he can get out of life by being with a girl like you. 

This is also a great way to make him want to see if things can be worked out between the two of you.

Because telling your ex how fun it was spending time together will go far in making him believe in second chances.

11) Remind your ex how he made you feel

It’s only true when you say it.

Don’t just tell him about the good times that you had together; but how happy you were around him. 

Granted, the both of you may have been a bit sad on occasion; but most of the time, things weren’t that bad. 

You can remind your ex how he made you feel and how wonderful it felt to be with someone as amazing as him.

Tell your ex how the feeling you felt when he appreciated the time that he spent with you was so good.

Take note of how it feels to be cared for by a man who wants to spend time with you and make you feel special. 

Remind him how amazing it felt to know that he wanted to spend time with you and that he appreciated all of your hard work in the relationship. 

It’s a simple fact that although your ex may have not told you, it feels good when people appreciate the work that you do for them, even if they don’t say it often enough.

12) Tell your ex that you’re grateful for the lessons he taught you

You can’t be grateful for what you don’t have.

So, why not do the opposite of this?

Tell your ex how grateful you are for the lessons that he taught you. 

Telling him how much he meant to teach you about himself will make him feel great. 

He’ll realize that you’re thankful for everything he’s done and spoke of in the relationship. 

He’ll also feel great knowing that there’s a good chance that he’s made some mistakes with you because there was a time where things weren’t perfect between the both of you.

You really don’t need to go overboard with this one.

All you have to do is remind him of the lessons that he taught you.

You’ll want to tell him that the two of you were more than often a great learning experience for each other. 

Win your ex back and make him feel good about himself by telling him he taught you quite a lot in your time together. 

It’s true even if it doesn’t seem like it at all.

In conclusion 

You have to remind your ex just how much he meant to you.

Don’t waste time beating around the bush, even if it means that you have to go into detail. 

Be honest and straightforward with your texts because there’s no sense in letting him think that you’re not interested in getting back together. 

Be clear about what you want and make sure that he knows it through every text message that you send his way.

But, keep in mind that you should NOT beg. 

Don’t constantly message him.

It will only frustrate you and make it evident that you’re desperate to get your ex back. 

When we’re desperate, we do things that make us look crazy.

So, try not to fall into that category if you don’t want your ex to break up with you all over again. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.