When it comes to relationships, it’s clear that everyone has different boundaries they set.
And then enters the world of social media, which creates some very blurry lines.
The online world has opened plenty of new avenues to connect and find your soulmate.
However, it also leaves those doors open to both ex’s and new love interests to enter into the relationship.
So, where are those boundaries now?
It can be hard to know whether your husband’s actions are completely innocent and you’re simply overreacting, or perhaps there’s something a little more going on behind the scenes.
Is that compliment he left on another woman’s pot harmless?
Here are 10 things to do if your husband compliments other women on social media.
10 things to do if your husband compliments other women on social media
1) Consider your feelings
A woman’s intuition has a lot to answer for. Now’s the time to trust yours.
What does it say about the compliment?
Do you feel threatened or in any way worried about your relationship?
If not, then trust that intuition.
Just because your friend Sally from work thinks it’s a bad thing and means your husband is cheating on you doesn’t mean a thing.
Sally is likely single and has never been in a long-term relationship before, so is getting pleasure out of seeing yours go wrong.
The fact that your husband is leaving the compliment somewhere he knows you’ll come across it (as well as many other people), suggests it’s very harmless.
After all, if he were trying to hide something, then don’t you think he’d do a better job at actually hiding it?
If it seems innocent, then it likely is.
Don’t read into the situation just for the sake of it!
2) Work out if it’s ongoing
If you’re feeling a little worried about the compliments that keep cropping up, it might be time for a little stalking.
Well, it’s not really stalking if all the information is right there in front of you, is it?
Go through this woman’s profile and see how often your husband has been commenting.
If his name keeps cropping up, then it might be time to have a chat with him.
Once again, don’t jump to the worst-case scenario. He may not even realise he’s doing it. Or simply thinks he’s just been nice.
If it’s a repetitive behaviour and not just a one-off, then it helps to address it.
Let your husband know how it makes you feel seeing those comments, and ask him if he could stop.
You’ll hopefully find that he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing and is all too happy to stop.
If not, you might have a different discussion on your hands…
3) Consider whether it might be a jealousy issue
Compliments on social media can be completely innocent and harmless.
Especially if they are one-off comments.
Then why do they leave you feeling so jealous?
This likely has more to do with you and your relationship than it has to do with any potential cheating.
You jealously probably stem from the fact you aren’t getting the attention you want out of your relationship.
When was the last time your husband complimented you?
It’s time to address it with your husband.
You don’t even have to bring up the social media comments.
Instead, simply let him know how you’re feeling and ask if he could throw a compliment your way every now and then.
Knowing what it means to you will make your husband more likely to oblige.
4) Avoid pointing any fingers
You might see these compliments as a big red flag and feel the anger brewing inside.
It’s a completely natural reaction.
As a result, you might find yourself wanting to confront your husband and start accusing him straight away.
If his comments are completely innocent, this accusation could drive a wedge between the two of you that can’t be repaired.
It’s an issue of trust and it goes both ways.
Think about other things that are going on in your relationship: does he seem distant? Have you lost the connection? Has it changed at all?
These are all red flags that something isn’t right, and it’s better to address these issues and find out where you both stand, before jumping to conclusions.
5) Avoid bringing anyone else into it
There’s something about social media and being able to hide behind the computer screens that seem to give us the power to do things we wouldn’t normally do.
Such as confronting the woman your husband has been complimenting.
This is always a bad idea.
Your relationship is between the two of you.
Bringing this other woman into it is just going to make things much worse for both you and your husband.
You then become the ‘crazy wife’ especially if it all turns out to have been completely innocent. You don’t want to be labelled like that.
No matter how tempted you might be, don’t contact her.
6) Take a look at your marriage
Now’s a great chance to take a look at where your marriage stands.
If these compliments your husband is laying around the internet are making you uncomfortable, think about why.
Are there areas in your relationship you’re already concerned about?
Perhaps he hasn’t been home much lately.
Maybe he has been distant and not spending as much time with you.
Look beyond social media and bring it back to your real life. If it’s not jealously that you’re feeling (read point 3), then work out if there are other issues that need addressing in your relationship.
Relationships take hard work and commitment, and it’s normal to get off track from time to time. It doesn’t mean your husband is cheating on you.
Instead, it might be time to sit down and talk it out, or even get the help of a counsellor to talk you both through it.
You want to find that place where you’re both happy and content in the relationship.
7) Ask him to stop
If it’s bugging you that much, it might be time to simply ask him to stop.
While you may know he’s not cheating on you, and even realise it’s completely harmless, your feelings still matter. If you aren’t happy about the situation, then it’s time to address it.
After all, you both set the boundaries in your relationship, and it’s up to the two of you to work out what these are.
Just sit down for an open and honest conversation.
If you’re in a healthy relationship, your husband will hear what you’re saying take that on board. He might even suggest a compromise.
It’s important to come to a solution that the two of you are happy with.
8) Ask yourself: do I trust him
At the end of the day, it comes down to an issue of trust.
You have to be able to trust your partner to be in a positive relationship with them.
If these comments have you questioning your trust in him, then it needs to be addressed.
If you leave these feelings, they will grow and drive a wedge in your relationship that will be hard to come back from.
It’s much better to address them at the moment, to ensure that trust is never broken.
This is one of the foundations of any relationship.
9) Take a social break
Looking to move on?
It might be time to take a social break.
Forget the endless scrolling and stop spending your nights in bed over analysing likes and comments. It’s not doing anyone any good.
If you have an issue, address your husband.
If not, it might be time to step away from the socials.
It’ll work wonders for your mental health, and you’ll probably find it has a great effect on your relationship as well.
10) Find some more quality time for each other
If anything should come out of these compliments, it’s the need to reconnect and spend more quality time with our partner.
Instead of feeling resentment, give your partner a reason to compliment you in person instead.
You could set up a date night, plan something a little sexier, or simply organise a movie on the couch together.
Don’t let the comments get in the way of your relationship. Address them if they’re an issue for you, otherwise, push them aside and work on what’s important: your relationship together.
The world of socials
Relationships and social media is whole new territory to navigate. Take each day as it comes and maintain open and honest communication with your partner. This is the easiest way to see yourself through it.
It’s about working out what your boundaries are, agreeing on them and putting them into place. This will be different for every couple.
The real reason why men pull away
Want to learn the real reason why men pull away from emotionally committing in a relationship?
It’s not what most people think.
We reveal all in our free eBook Attraction Triggers.
This eBook has everything you need to know about the predictable patterns that make a man fall in love.
Most importantly, it will teach you practical techniques to activate those triggers in your man so you can build a successful long-lasting relationship.