11 surprising things that can happen to a man when a woman pulls away

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There are different reasons why you pull away from a man: to get your space back, to get away from their own space, or simply because you didn’t realize that you were doing it.

Whatever the reason, the act of pulling away from a man usually sends a message. Learning what exactly happens to a man when you pull away can be a useful bit of knowledge to have; especially if you’re trying to figure them out.

Here are 10 of the possible things that can happen to a man when a woman pulls away:

1) It Increases Their Desire For You

If you’ve been flirting with a guy for a while and you pull away, it can only make their desire for you increase even more.

Psychologically, since they’re already interested in you, pulling away can just increase their interest in you even more – especially if you’re already shown interest in them.

It’s a classic bait-and-switch maneuver, and it can definitely lead your budding relationship in interesting directions.

However, keep in mind that the levels of desire that may increase can vary greatly depending on the man. Some men go all in the moment a woman pulls away, while others might not be that affected at all.

Most of the time, simply pulling away is an excellent gauge to test the level of investment the man has for you, though you should use this method sparingly.

2) It Causes Them To Lose Interest

Alternatively, pulling away from a man can send a clear (though sometimes misinterpreted) signal that you’re not into them, which causes them to lose interest entirely.

Some guys will only be interested in women that are interested in them, and will usually stop any efforts of establishing a relationship with you the moment you give them a sign that you aren’t as invested as they are.

This isn’t always because men favor relationships and partners they know they have a chance with; it can also be a self-defense mechanism that lets them know that you aren’t someone they should invest time and effort on.

If you deliberately pull away to try and gauge the interest of these types of men, they’ll most likely just take it as a signal to give up altogether. Use with caution!

3) It Puts Them Off Their Game

Getting into your personal space is a classic move that men do to make themselves feel like a natural presence in your life.

Sometimes this is done unconsciously, and other times it’s part of their strategy to get you to fall for them.

If you pull away from the man who does this for the latter reason, it’s an excellent way to derail them off their game and put the pace of the relationship back in your hands.

Of course, men that are quick on the uptake will see right through this and continue their efforts; but for a lot of men, pulling away can often give you that much-needed pause to put control back in your own hands.

It’s a great way to flirt if you can tell that someone’s following a playbook and an even better way to weed out those who know how to flirt properly with a woman.

4) It Makes Him Want To Be Your Hero

When you pull away, it may make him realize that he actually has deep feelings for you. 

And when a man has deep feelings for a woman, he wants to be her hero. 

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct? 

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

5) It Can Increase Their Guard Around You

Pulling away from a man can be taken as a clear sign that you don’t want to be around them – which can cause some men to be more defensive around you.

Usually, more guarded men take pulling away as a sign that their boundaries and your boundaries are starting to overlap, and they’ll also usually pull away to protect themselves as well.

This can backfire if you try to pull away to get them to open up around you since you’ve basically just created more distance between the two of you.

It’s also far harder to close this new gap if you don’t address this confusion immediately since men who are more guarded around you will usually do things to widen this gap – and may potentially cause them to lose interest in you altogether.

6) It Makes Them More Conscious About Their Behavior

If you pull away from a man (especially in public) it’s a jarring thing that can make them re-examine the way that they’re acting, and potentially re-examine their entire behavior around you.

This is a great way to get a guy enough to pause so you can breathe, or seize back the initiative if you two are already flirting.

If you think that your man needs some time for introspection, pulling away is one of the best ways to get them to do it.

Be warned: pulling away and staying away are two separate things, and guys who do become conscious about their behavior need a little bit of both for the changes to stick.

If you’re looking to pull away to teach a guy a lesson, don’t cave in and jump back right away – let time do most of the heavy lifting for you.

7) It Can Make Them Back Off

Pulling away is a clear sign that you want no part of anything that’s currently happening right now, which makes it a great deterrent when a guy just won’t leave you alone.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that this will fly over their heads and they’ll miss it altogether, but it’s still a good thing to try in case you’re starting to feel uncomfortable in their presence and don’t want them around.

When a woman pulls away from a man (especially if they do it abruptly) it can sometimes be enough of a signal that the man won’t pursue her anymore.

Again, this can potentially cause misunderstandings especially if you pull away by mistake or unintentionally, so always make sure to be conscious about making this mistake and immediately correct it if it happens.

8) It Can Make Them Lose Confidence In Themselves

Pulling away can also mean that you’re not accepted – and for a man that’s trying to get your attention, it can be a crushing blow to their self-esteem and cause them to lose confidence in themselves.

What makes this difficult is that most of the time, this can lead to them losing interest in you entirely, which can be the exact opposite of the effect you’re trying to achieve.

In this case, it usually falls on you or someone else to restore this lost self-confidence: and even then, there’s no guarantee that this will not have forever changed their impression of you.

Not all guys have high self-esteem to start, and potential rejection by a woman may sometimes be more than enough for them to stop trying altogether.

9) It Tells Them To Try Harder

On the other hand, pulling away can also act as a signal to a guy to push harder, especially if they feel like their efforts have been lacking in pursuing you.

Pulling away can also be seen as a beckoning act, which can spice up a relationship in the right circumstances.

However, you should be very careful with these types of reactions: it’s all too easy to end up with more attention than you wanted.

Trying harder isn’t always equal to trying better – and sometimes you may have to give the guy a little nudge in the right direction he should be trying to go.

10) It Can Make Them Think You’re Assuming Things

Sometimes, guys simply end up in your personal space because they just happened to be there: it doesn’t really have any deeper meaning to it and they’re likely not even paying attention that they’re getting in there, to begin with.

In this case, pulling away can potentially give them the impression that you’re thinking about something else altogether – and that can make them think that you’re assuming things about your relationship.

This usually puts most men off because no one really likes meanings that are attached to their actions without their knowledge or approval; though in rare cases, this can sometimes be the thing that puts you on their radar in the first place.

If there’s an assumption, that might mean that there’s a chance – and that may be the signal they’re waiting for.

11) It Makes Them More Curious About You

Pulling away is never a subtle action: by its very nature, it’s supposed to be noticed.

For a man that hasn’t been paying too much attention (or someone that you want to pay attention to), pulling away is an excellent way to tug at their curiosity and make them a little more interested in your behavior.

Once you’re in their field of awareness, it opens up a lot of possibilities about how they can interact with you and the relationship you can build with them.

This doesn’t have to be anything too serious or just casual: the entire point is that you get to tug at their minds a little more.

Once you’ve managed to pull this off, what comes next will be up to you.

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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