Dealing with a shy guy isn’t easy.
You might be used to people being honest and open with their feelings, but the moment a shy guy enters your life — and one you might actually like, by the way — you start being unsure about what’s going on, because the last thing he’ll ever do is admit that he actually likes you.
So instead of waiting for him to confirm his affections, you might as well try to figure it out for yourself.
Here are 14 subtle signs you should look out for that will tell you whether or not a shy guy has a thing for you:
1) He Remembers the Little Things You Say
Remember that one time seven months ago, while talking with your “shy guy”, you mentioned that your favorite chocolate is some obscure brand from Switzerland that you can only buy online.
Well, that’s exactly the kind of thing he will surprise you with the next chance he gets, whether it’s on your birthday, Christmas, or something else.
A shy guy knows that these “little things” are great for showing that he cares without actually saying it.
The rarer that piece of information is, the more valuable it is to him.
2) He Gets Protective Around Other Guys
Though he won’t admit that he has a crush on you, there’s no clearer way to see it than when you’re around other guys.
When another guy — someone who may or may not like you — is around you, he becomes stiffer than usual and starts acting strange.
Of course, he’ll never say what’s on his mind, but he also will never feel comfortable when you’re around a guy (especially when that other guy is better than him in some way).
3) He’s Always Bothering You Online, But Never In Person
Shy people live on the internet.
They feel ten times more comfortable in chat boxes than they do face-to-face, which is why this guy seems to have a completely different personality online versus offline.
So what does this mean?
It means he’s showing you his true colors on the internet.
The more he pesters you online, the more he’s saying, “This is how much I would talk to you in person if I wasn’t so shy.”
4) He Gets Quiet When You Walk In the Room
Suddenly surprising a shy person is the easiest way to get under their skin.
When a shy guy likes you, he’ll act stiff around you, second-guessing everything he does and says.
You won’t actually see his true self, which might be playful, loud, joking; the person he is when he’s around his friends.
So when you walk in a room while he’s in the middle of being “himself”, he’ll immediately revert to his shy self the moment he realizes he’s in your presence.
5) He Glances When He Thinks You Aren’t Looking
No matter how shy he is, he can’t control the fact that he’s attracted to you.
And unlike a confident, outspoken guy who will do everything he can to let you know that he wants you — including staring at you openly in the hopes that you’ll look back — a shy guy will do the opposite.
He’ll never look at you when you’re looking his way, and he’ll only steal glances whenever your attention is elsewhere.
This is why you’ll often see him suddenly turning his head or fumbling whenever you look at him because a moment before his eyes were locked on the back of your head.
6) He’s Always Conveniently Around You
The last thing a shy guy will do is admit that he actually likes you; he will do literally everything else before resorting to that.
And one of those things is trying to be around you as often as possible because he’ll think that the more often you see him, the more comfortable you’ll get around him.
So he tries to plan his days around your plans.
If you volunteer for something, he’ll volunteer for it as well, acting like it’s just a coincidence.
If you have to stay late after class or work, he’ll also find a reason to stay late.
7) When He Opens Up, It All Comes Out
The interesting thing about shy people is that they’re not necessarily quiet people; they’re just shy and quiet now, because they don’t want to embarrass themselves in front of you.
But if they ever get to a point where they finally feel comfortable around you, then everything will come out.
When your shy guy finally starts opening up, you’ll never get him to stop.
He’ll tell you everything he’s been wanting to say for weeks, and you’ll learn more about him in a few hours than you learned ever since you first met him.
8) He Doesn’t Talk When Other People Are Around
But even if you reach the point where he tells you everything on his mind, he’ll revert immediately to maximum shyness when someone else comes in earshot.
Because even if he’s no longer shy around you, he’s still shy when other people become involved, because he doesn’t want other people to think he likes you and then feel embarrassed about that.
9) He’s Doing Something Different To Look Better
And maybe in the subtlest way too.
Ever mentioned that he looks good in a certain shirt? You might see him wearing similar styles more often.
Said that you like his beard longer? You might notice that he’s actually growing it out.
Chances are he might be feeling a bit self-conscious at the idea of grooming himself closer to your standards or preferences.
Instead of pointing it out to him, giving him heartfelt compliments might be a better boost for his self-esteem.
10) He Can’t Maintain Eye Contact
Shy people in general have difficulty maintaining eye contact.
A more telling sign is if his aversion is accompanied by other subtle signs.
He may be averting his gaze but you notice him peeking at you in the corner of his eye when he thinks you’re not looking.
You might also notice him blushing when he does actually make eye contact with you.
11) He’s Always Agreeing With You
Shy guys have a difficult time being explicit with their feelings, so they might try to show you that your thoughts and opinions matter to them by agreeing to what you say and making you feel validated.
He’s not doing it because he wants to manipulate you into liking him; it’s likely that he can’t help but agree to what you’re saying because he wants to express fondness for you and at the same time highlight your similarities without being too obvious.
12) He’s Always Asking His Friends About You
Talking to you might just be a tad overwhelming for him, so he turns to your friends and family to get the scoop.
He’s curious about you and what’s going on with your day but is probably too intimidated by you to try and communicate with you directly.
Instead of risking being embarrassing, he tries to go about it the more subtle way and ask people about you instead of asking you himself.
13) He’s Incredibly Present During Conversations
At the end of the day, actions will speak louder than words.
This guy you’re interested in might not be keen on talking or giving advice, but you’ll notice that he does pay attention when you’re sharing things with him.
Whether it’s trivial stuff about your day or remarkable milestones about your life, there’s just a glint in his eye that lets you know that he’s fully into the conversation.
What’s even more flattering is that he remembers these details about you.
Because he’s so quiet, it sometimes comes as a surprise when he mentions things that he remembers from your previous conversations.
That’s when you really know that he’s present and mindful when you spend time together.
14) He Always Offers To Help
It doesn’t really matter if you’re moving apartments or looking for a specific link, this man is just ready to show up at your door and help you out whenever you need him.
Again, it’s one of those subtle ways of showing you that he likes you without having to come right out and say it himself.
You know that you can rely on him to help you out, regardless of the task.
He’ll go above and beyond to make sure you feel supported.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.