Starting a relationship during mercury retrograde: What you need to know

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If your relationship started during mercury retrograde, is it doomed to fail?

The short answer is NO.

Although mercury retrograde is notorious for causing things to go haywire, it’s not meant to be your life’s show-stopper. 

As the saying goes, love comes when you least expect it. Love can hit you so strongly that not even the power of mercury’s backward movement can stop it.

But let me warn you now, it won’t be easy, and it can be chaotic (it’s the mercury retrograde, after all) – but it’s not impossible. 

To help navigate your love life during this astrological phenomenon, here are a few pointers on what you need to know when starting a relationship during mercury retrograde.

Let’s dive in!

What happens if you start a relationship during mercury retrograde?

In the world of astrology, mercury rules all things related to technology, travel, time and communication. The retrograde is also known to bring back things from your past.

Let’s relate all of these to love and dissect the possibilities of what happens when you start dating during mercury retrograde:

1) Glitches galore 

Your gadgets will be the death of your relationship during mercury retrograde, but only if you allow them to.

This season is very much known for causing technological glitches, so before going off on your special someone for not texting back, make sure their phone is functioning properly.

Oh, and the wifi, mobile data, and Bluetooth can go crazy too. So if you think they’re ignoring your Facetime or Zoom call, think again.

True story: I got locked out of the house because the gate won’t open. It’s one of those remote-controlled electronic gates. The remote battery was new, and nothing was definitely wrong with the gate (we had it checked soon after). 

The day after, I realized that we had just entered the first week of the mercury retrograde. The gate not working out of the blue suddenly made sense. 

I’m telling you this because you might get yourself into the same situation (you know, when your partner shares with you the keys or passcode to their house or flat). 

Don’t immediately conclude that they’re intentionally keeping you out.

For all you know, it’s just mercury retrograde saying hi.

2) Communication chaos

During a mercury retrograde, you must be extra mindful of what and how you say because this phase is known for provoking miscommunication.

Healthy communication is necessary for any relationship to work, regardless if the relationship is old or new. 

Communication can be especially difficult if you’ve just started a relationship because you haven’t known each other long enough to know each other’s body language, lingo, and what these actually mean. 

Take silence, for example. Some stay silent because they agree, some do it because they disagree, while some stay silent because they’re indifferent and simply don’t care. 

Silence can be a sign that everything’s okay, but it can also signal that something’s not right. Unless you’ve known the person for a long time, it’s extremely hard to guess what their silence means.

So keep an eye out for mercury retrograde’s traps for misinterpretations, misunderstandings, and miscommunications, and be careful not to fall into any of them.

3) Things don’t go according to plan

One of the perks of being in a relationship is having a travel buddy. 

It’s great to have someone who will discover new places with you. Or someone who can revisit familiar places and create new memories with. 

If you and your partner decide to travel during the mercury retrograde, here are a few things you need to be prepared for:

  • Delays. 
  • Flight or trip cancellations.
  • Traffic (longer than usual).
  • Scheduling conflicts.

Also, don’t forget that communication and technology play heavy roles when it comes to our travels, so it’s not uncommon to experience problems on that side of your travel, like double bookings or rental cars breaking down.

Be prepared for these inconveniences, and don’t let mercury retrograde get in the way of a beautiful romantic getaway.

4) You will have moments of indecision.

If your partner suddenly decides they don’t want to go ahead with your travel plans, don’t take it personally. That’s the effects of the mercury retrograde talking.

The retrograde is good at making people indecisive, so expect a lot of hesitations, ambiguities, and changes of mind from you or your partner. 

I hate to break it to you, but the effects of mercury retrograde can also cause you or your special someone to question the relationship you both just got into. 

Don’t worry. That doesn’t necessarily signal the end of your relationship. Nor does it mean that it is bad to start a relationship during mercury retrograde. 

5) Exes making grand entrances.

Yes, I saved the most intriguing bit for last:

It’s your past coming back to haunt you.

Believe it or not, it is common for exes to return during Mercury retrogrades. But what does this mean when your ex suddenly appears during the retrograde? 

It could be that there’s something you need to talk about so you both can find closure. 

It can also mean nothing – it may just be an innocent message asking how you are, or meeting them at the mall yesterday can be just a random occurrence. 

There’s a laundry list of reasons an ex may suddenly appear during the mercury retrograde. Could it include them wanting to get back together? Maybe. 

But for the sake of your new relationship, hopefully not, and hopefully, your ex or their ex resurfacing is just a coincidence.

How to handle a new relationship during Mercury retrograde

By now, you’d already have a good idea of the challenges that can happen to a relationship during mercury retrograde. 

So what can you do to mercury-retrograde-proof your relationship?

Here are 10 practical tips on dealing with a new relationship during a mercury retrograde:

1) Be one step ahead.

The best way to deal with mercury retrograde during a new relationship is to be prepared with a counterattack for every challenge it brings you. 

This tip is especially useful when faced with communication, technology, or travel issues. 

Let me give you a few examples:

Avoid communicating via text messages, e-mails, and messaging apps. If you must use technology (in long-distance relationships, for example), double-check everything before hitting that send button. In short, talk face-to-face as much as you can.

If, for some reason, your phone or computer doesn’t work, find a way to relay this to your partner and save them from worry . Call them through a friend’s phone, for example.

Traveling? Hold the keyless remote and let your partner hang on to the car key – just in case. Leave at least half an hour early to avoid traffic. Arrive at the airport earlier than usual and double-check all travel documents before leaving. Check your booking confirmation for the date and time of your flights (you can never be too sure)! 

2) Stock up on patience – heaps of it.

Sometimes, no matter how prepared you are, mercury retrograde will test the strength of your new relationship by testing your patience – individually or as a couple.

The retrograde will likely see how far you and your new beau can go by throwing you irritating situations.

Instead of losing your cool, use these circumstances as opportunities to cultivate patience. 

For example, when thrown on a delayed flight, use this as an opportunity to spark a conversation that allows you to get to know each other better. Something like, “What are your best childhood travel memories?” would be a good start.

By the way, mercury retrograde may also place you in a situation where your patience for each other gets tested. As we said earlier, the key is to be one step ahead and stop it before it happens.

So when you feel like you’re about to snap at your partner for being late on a date, take this opportunity to pause, step back, and calm down before an argument ensues. 

Mercury retrograde or not, patience is a virtue needed for a lasting relationship, so never pass on the opportunity to grow your patience!

3) Practice flexibility.

Another antidote to the glitches and delays that come with the Mercury retrograde is your ability to “bend without breaking.”

Remember when we said things may not always go as planned during this phase? This is where your flexibility comes in handy.

So when your loved one calls you for a raincheck on your dinner date, avoid taking offense and gladly accept. Surely, they had a good reason for the cancellation, so let it slide and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Another example of Mercury retrograde ruining your plans is when it sends rain your way on the weekend meant for a romantic camp by the beach. Clap back with your flexibility and enjoy a romantic staycation at home instead.

Your ability to go with the flow when faced with last-minute setbacks will help you navigate through the notorious Mercury retrograde and strengthen the resilience of your new relationship. 

Even better, the spontaneity that comes with the unexpected last-minute change of plans adds a dash of excitement to the budding relationship.

4) Be crystal clear in your communication.

Mercury rules communication, so pay extra attention to your language during the retrograde.

When communicating with your significant other, choose your words carefully – say what you mean and mean what you say.

Pay attention to your mannerisms and your actions. Make sure they are sending the same signals as the words you’re saying. Don’t say yes when your body language is saying no. 

Be mindful of your tone and voice volume, too. Because you’re in a new relationship, your partner probably hasn’t known you long enough to know what these voice variations mean. 

They may think they hear the anger in your voice when the truth is you just have a naturally grouchy tone.

Also, don’t beat around the bush. Get straight to the point because going around in circles might confuse your partner even more, provoking an unnecessary argument.

5) Listen actively. 

To combat the misunderstandings brought about by the Mercury retrograde, it’s not enough that you’re talking clearly and concisely. After all, healthy relationships require a good balance of give and take, so communication shouldn’t be exempt from this.

Let me show you what it means to be an active listener:

Pay attention to your partner when they’re trying to tell you something. Don’t just nod while scrolling on your phone or watching TV. Stop what you’re doing, turn their way, look into their eyes, and really listen.

If something they’re saying is not clear, don’t hesitate to ask questions. You’re in the astrological phase of misunderstandings, so don’t assume you know what they mean unless they confirm it.

Consciously think of your responses as well. Don’t just blabber the first thing that comes to mind. 

Doing all of these will prevent any miscommunications during the retrograde. 

Plus, it gains you brownie points for showing interest in your partner and commitment to the new relationship. 

6) Learn the art of forgiveness

You can make yourself as clear as possible and listen as intently as you can, yet sometimes, misunderstandings may still occur. Thanks, Mercury retrograde!

Mistakes are also bound to happen regardless of how well-prepared or flexible you may be. Thanks again, Mercury retrograde!

To prevent a bad situation from worsening, learn to forgive your partner (and yourself) for any blunders during this astrological phase.

When you forgive, you free yourself of contempt toward your partner. Keep in mind that holding ill feelings towards each other is a relationship killer, so it’s best to let it go.

The effects of the Mercury retrograde worsen it, but you must understand that mistakes and misunderstandings are inevitable parts of a relationship – and so should forgiveness.

7) Support alone time

One of the best parts of starting a relationship is the honeymoon phase. You know, those days when you can’t get enough of each other and won’t last a minute of being apart.

You’re probably in this phase right now, so you find it hard to understand why you and your partner need “me” times, but hear me out:

Mercury retrograde messes up our external communications, but on the flip side, it enhances our internal communication. This means that it’s the best time to reflect on yourself. 

Encourage your new beau to do the same.

Take time to think about what you want from this new relationship. Think about your past relationships and the lessons you learned from them. What could you do better this time to make this new love last longer?

Also, remember earlier when I said this phase brings back your past? This is all the more reason to take a moment for self-reflection. 

What could be the reason why your ex suddenly appears during the mercury retrograde? What did you feel? Why are you feeling that way? Do you have any unresolved issues? Have you truly moved on? 

Don’t be afraid to ask yourself honest and hard-hitting questions, including: “Am I really ready for this new relationship?”

8) Encourage emotional honesty

There’s no better time to practice emotional honesty than after you’ve done a moment of self-reflection.

What does this mean for you and your relationship?

Emotional honesty means being completely honest about your feelings, first, to yourself and others.

Emotional honesty in a relationship entails communicating openly and truthfully with your partner about what you really feel. 

It also involves listening to your partner voices out their feelings without giving them judgment, without taking offense, or without feeling the need to correct them.

Whether it’s anger, sadness, bliss, or excitement, there is no right or wrong when it comes to emotional honesty because it’s merely an expression of feelings. 

Don’t be afraid to show your partner your vulnerability by being emotionally honest. Because it is exactly what your new relationship needs during a time that is prone to miscommunications. 

When you’re emotionally honest with each other, you allow yourselves to connect at an emotional level, creating depth in your relationship and you end up coming out of this retrograde with a stronger relationship than ever. 

9) Appreciate the beauty of slow motion.

Have you ever watched videos where they take something so trivial and shoot it in super slow motion?

If not, you’re missing out.

When you watch these slo-mo videos, you see stuff you won’t normally notice had they been captured at their normal speed.

There’s a certain magic in looking at everyday things from a slowed-down perspective. You get to witness and appreciate the beauty of each frame. It’s amazing, to say the least.

It’s the same way with new relationships during a mercury retrograde. Instead of speeding through it to avoid the mayhem that it brings, why not make a conscious effort as a couple to slow things down?

You may think they’re THE ONE and you’ve finally found your soulmate (and they may well be), but don’t be in a hurry to pack your bags and move in with them – not yet.

Enjoy time together without the pressure of rushing into things. Take things slow to see if the connection is beyond physical. Find out if you’re truly a great fit for each other. 

Take note of how you both react to the challenges of the Mercury retrograde because this will give you insight into how you are likely to behave when it comes to future obstacles in your relationship.

10) Save decisions and commitments for later.

When you take things slow, it should follow that you avoid hasty decisions. 

Mercury retrograde is known for invoking indecisiveness. This is why making important decisions is one of the things you are not supposed to do during mercury retrograde.

No matter how smitten you are with your new lover, don’t empty your savings to buy that ring! Hold off on saying “yes” when they get down on one knee! 

When starting a new relationship during Mercury retrograde, it’s a good idea to start it without necessarily labeling it and making serious commitments. 

I don’t mean treating the relationship as a fling, either. 

What I’m trying to say is the retrograde only lasts a few weeks, so what’s the rush? Wait until Mercury’s done wreaking havoc, and then finally agree on your level of commitment with each other.

By the way, the same goes for breaking up. During the retrograde, you may find that you’re not compatible with each other. Or it may also be that your/their ex resurfacing may make you/them realize you haven’t moved on. 

Regardless, sit on those feelings first and process them before agreeing to put an end to the  relationship.

In short, do not make decisions you will change or regret later.

Fun fact: Mercurial is an adjective used to define someone with a sudden and unpredictable change of mood and mind.

TLDR: What you need to know about starting a relationship during mercury retrograde 

Can you start a relationship during Mercury retrograde? 

Of course, there is no reason you can’t. 

Is it bad to start a relationship during Mercury retrograde?

Not necessarily. It can be challenging, though.

Do relationships that start during Mercury retrograde last? 

Mercury retrograde has nothing to do with the outcome of any relationship. 

At the end of the day, it’s the couple and their attitude towards their relationship that determines whether or not they will last. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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