And then you sense a change
Nothing feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin’ in
– Van Halen
Dating guides are full of advice about how to tell if the guy you’re dating is your “one.”
But the truth is the advice in them is often pretty shallow.
If you want to know whether he’s compatible with you on a deeper level, you need to look at spiritual signs he’s the one, not just external traits.
Here’s a deeper dive into whether this guy is really your one.
15 spiritual signs he’s the one
1) Your souls don’t hide in any way
One of the clearest spiritual signs he’s the one is that your souls don’t hide in any way.
You talk openly and bare your soul to him, and he does the same.
At the same time, you don’t get bored or feel you’ve already unpeeled every layer of who this guy is.
It’s more, that you aren’t afraid to be yourself and show your soul in all its glory – and darkness.
“When you’re with The One, you can show every side of yourself and be truly authentic with him without any fear of being judged, and feel like he sees you.
“In a healthy relationship, you also won’t feel the need to hide things from your partner, such as a splurge item or an embarrassing incident, or even the details of an ex-relationship,” writes Tansey Tang.
2) His love for you is unconditional
Love that comes and goes with your mood and life situation isn’t love.
Or at least it’s a watered-down, disappointing kind of love.
If you want some real spiritual signs he’s the one then keep your eye out for the man who stands by your side no matter what.
Not out of obligation, convention, or duty: out of love.
Unconditional love is vastly underestimated.
Parents and some friends have it, and the ideal life partner will have it as well.
If he loses interest in you because of a crisis or his own issues then he’s simply not compatible with you on a deep spiritual basis, regardless of his other positive aspects.
3) Your families are spiritually compatible
One of the biggest mistakes some people make when looking for spiritual signs he’s the one, is ignoring family compatibility.
I don’t just mean whether your uncle gets along with his dad or surface things like that.
I mean whether your families have soul bonds that go beyond mere outer friendliness.
This isn’t always literal: your family may be religious, his’ may not; your family may love traveling, his’ may be homebodies.
The best way to look for spiritual compatibility between families, pay attention to the flow and style of conversations that happen when your families get together.
Is it natural and deep or does it stick to the shallow and go in circles?
When a guy is the one spiritually, he will value and cherish your family.
In his article on how to know if a guy is the one, Micah Mikaela says:
“He genuinely wants to get to know your family. He respects your parents and tries to blend in whenever he’s at their house.
“He values family, so he won’t ever make you choose between him and them.”
4) Jealousy is nowhere to be found
Another of the top spiritual signs he’s the one is a complete lack of jealousy.
You will both be interested in what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with, but never in a toxic or controlling way.
That unfortunate side of things is just plain missing.
In its place is something far better: trust and mutual support.
You don’t lodge accusations or even sit around worrying and wondering what’s going on.
You just know deep in your bones that this person would never cheat and is committed to you.
Unlike past relationships where you may have felt in the dark about your partner’s true intentions or actions, the relationship with your spiritual better half will feel completely solid and trustworthy.
5) He supports your dreams
There’s no shortage of critical voices out there today that spends time hating on our dreams.
Sadly this can even be true in our intimate and family relationships.
One of the strongest spiritual signs he’s the one is that he supports your dreams.
At the same time, your spiritual one will not shy away from being honest with you about which of your goals is realistic or achievable.
He will tell you the truth always, and back you up when others fade away.
Dreams that may even seem far-fetched to those who don’t know you well, will be fully encouraged by the guy who’s right for you.
6) You make each other’s souls laugh
A shared sense of humor is a must in any relationship.
But the next level of sharing a few laughs are soul laughs.
Soul laughs are different than surface laughs. This isn’t a dirty joke on the comedy channel that cracks you both up for a second.
It’s looking in your partner’s eyes and truly getting their sense of humor and what makes them laugh.
“He cheers you up and cracks a funny, silly joke to make you laugh, even when you have a miserable day. He aims to make you smile when you feel miserable.
“He dislikes seeing you feel miserable because he gets sad to see you heartbroken,” writes Suzan Dalia.
7) Your life challenges align
No person or experience is going to make your life perfect, and there is no end-stage at which you finally make it.
Life is a process of continual challenge, growth, and work.
Finding the beauty and authenticity in that is what allows us to truly live.
And one of the top spiritual signs he’s the one is when you meet a man whose life challenges and hurdles align with yours.
Even if you’re outwardly quite different, the nature of your struggles and life experiences may have multiple uncanny parallels.
You will be able to talk fully and help each other across life’s peaks and values if you’re truly spiritually aligned.
8) Your conversation unfolds effortlessly
The conversation is about far more than just passing the time.
It reveals so much about a couple, including their spiritual compatibility.
If he is your one, then you will be amazed by the conversations you have, including touching on deep and personal subjects.
Your conversations will flow naturally and not require any pushiness or artificiality.
And when you’re silent it will feel fine and not be awkward at all.
“It doesn’t really matter what you talk about.
“There’s a nice balance between you talking and listening, and your partner talking and listening — and it results in the feeling that you ‘get’ each other.”
9) Your differences and disagreements strengthen you
In an ordinary couple, differences and disagreements can lead to a bitter breakup.
One of the top spiritual signs he’s the one is that your differences and disagreements just make you stronger.
These can include very strong differences and disagreements.
You may even be outwardly different in important ways such as your career paths, upbringings, cultural values, and beliefs.
But underneath all that is an unbreakable bond that’s hard to define but impossible to break.
Instead of your differences splitting you apart, they just make you realize how strong your connection really is.
10) Your physical and emotional chemistry is mindblowing
Never underestimate the importance of pure emotional and physical attraction.
When you’re looking for spiritual signs he’s the one, pay attention to the very real facts of your level of attraction.
Does the mere sight of him set you on fire?
Do thoughts of him bring joy to your heart and make you believe that life has a purpose and hope?
If the answer is yes then there’s a good chance this guy could be the real deal.
If you don’t really feel any of that, then be honest with yourself. Sometimes everything’s “good” but it’s just not quite good enough…
“My advice is to look for that spark. It might not happen on the first date, but if you’re not feeling it by the second, then move on, because, as good as this guy looked on paper, there’s not that alchemy you need for a sustainable relationship.
“I know it can be frustrating to have a great guy in front of you and not feel those butterflies, but you can’t force chemistry.”
11) Even the hard times are full of love and kindness
One of the most inspiring spiritual signs he’s the one is that the typical ups and downs of a relationship still have ever-present love and kindness in the background.
Serious illness, temporary separations, family issues, job problems, and more…There are all sorts of problems that occur in relationships.
But when a guy is the one for you and your spirits are meant to be together, the hard times don’t cancel your emotions.
You still feel full of love for him and you know he feels the same for you.
No matter what hard times you’re going through together, that foundational feeling of love is still there.
12) The underlying love you feel never fades
Related to the last point, one of the strongest spiritual signs he’s the one is that even after a long time the underlying feeling of love never fades.
We often hear about how the “spark” fades away in a relationship and the desire to be close, have sex and be together gets muted.
When you’re with the man who’s spiritually connected to you on a deep level, the lessening of outer attraction won’t have any impact on your overall interest in him.
You’ll feel a deep bond and love that lasts through the years and doesn’t go away.
“If you find yourself in a relationship and the fun and exciting phase has already faded, but when you look at the person you love, you feel this slight flutter in your heart and it doesn’t matter where life takes you, the important thing is that he is going to be there with you every step of the way,” notes Carisha Yabora.
13) He understands your trauma and pain
In addition to supporting your dreams as I talked about before, the man who’s your spiritual other half will understand your trauma and pain.
Even if his past challenges are different, it will be crystal clear that he really gets you.
There won’t be any of that heartbreak and disappointment from realizing the man you’re with doesn’t get you at all.
None of that soul-crushing realization that you’re on your own.
In this relationship you will feel held, cherished and seen.
You will know that your man gets you and stands beside you at all times.
14) He makes your spirit rise to new heights
Another of the top spiritual signs he’s the one is that he will inspire you to be a better woman.
There will never be that feeling that nothing much matters and you just have to play a tired role to live up to his idea of you.
The man who’s spiritually connected to you will see who you really are, but better yet: he will see who you can be in the future.
This will be a beneficent and inspiring force in your life.
“You know a guy like him deserves a girl of the same caliber, and you want to be better.
“Not that he thinks you need to be, by any means. You just internally want to portray your best self—because he inspires you to be just that.”
15) You’re not codependent or needy around him
One of the most important spiritual signs he’s the one is that you don’t become codependent or needy around him.
He inspires you to be your best self and you love him deeply: but you never feel you are “not enough” without him, or that you depend on him for your happiness and worth.
In a way, the man who’s truly right for you is the man who lets you be fully actualized as yourself.
It’s the man you can be with completely while still remaining completely you.
Love walks in…
When love walks in, your life changes.
There are many relationships in this life, but only one or two will last.
Look for the spiritual signs he’s the one and skip the noise on everything else.
You’ll find so much more clarity and inspiration when you focus on what matters.
And spiritual alignment matters most of all.
The real reason why men pull away
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