Life begins at 40.
Or, at least, that’s what a lot of people say.
But is it? What if you’re 40 and single?
The pressure sure is real but don’t fret.
Here are some suggestions for ways to overcome the struggles of being single at 40:
1) Connect with an old work colleague or college friend over dinner or coffee.
It’s very easy to become isolated when you’re single at 40.
But you can still make new connections or reconnect with old friends.
You quit a job that you don’t enjoy, you lose touch with some friends who seem to be in relationships and love, and then before you know it, you’re hanging out alone at home.
There’s actually nothing wrong with that, but it would be nice to have a companion for dinner or a cup of coffee once in a while.
So if an old colleague or college friend is still in the same city as you, give them a call and see if they’re up for dinner or coffee.
If they are, then it’s a win-win situation.
You see some old faces and make new friends, and your colleague or college friend gets to snatch up someone who isn’t as awkward as he used to be 10 years ago.
You’ll realize that your relationship has matured (as you did) and your conversations have deeper meaning and sense.
2) Volunteer for an organization you’ve always liked but haven’t got around to joining yet.
It’s never too late to get started with volunteering.
If you’ve always loved a certain organization, join them as soon as possible.
Try to think of an organization that runs purely on volunteerism and doesn’t have any paid staff.
Years ago, you’ve seen this organization or social cause from afar, and have thought about joining them but never did because of your busy life schedule.
But now, at 40, when you have developed real-time management skills, it is easy to join organizations.
Keep your passion for something burning.
Meet new people, new friends, new missions.
You’ll wake up one day feeling fulfilled knowing that you followed your heart to serve.
3) Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone by meeting someone who is different from you (i.e., join a church group, take up surfing).
Switching up your environment and surroundings will give you a fresh perspective.
You’ll feel more motivated to do the job that you mentioned in the previous paragraph by finding out what it’s like to volunteer.
You’ll feel like you’re contributing something worthwhile in return for all the good people there, who really appreciate that you stepped out of your comfort zone.
You’ll feel like you have a new family who understands, supports, and really cares.
4) Spend time with close friends and family.
It’s not uncommon to feel lonely at 40, but that is the time when you realize how important your close friends and family members are.
Imagine this scenario.
You’ve just spent a very gloomy day celebrating your birthday alone in your apartment, when all of a sudden, a friend drops by for coffee.
You find yourself laughing and telling witty stories about the past.
At that moment, you see your friend with a whole new set of eyes.
You find yourself thinking, “Wow, this person has stayed by my side for this long. They give me the strength to go on.”
You’ve just heard some devastating news from your family.
Yet, you see your family members rallying around you and hugging you.
You sure do feel the warmth of family love that they are bestowing upon you.
There’s nothing like the unconditional love from friends and family to give a sense of comfort to someone who is single at 40.
A simple dinner or coffee with an old colleague will re-connect you with someone who is also going through a similar time in life.
It’s always nice to have someone else who gives a damn about what’s happening in your life.
Truly, family and friends are the extensions of our souls.
5) Join a gym.
There’s nothing wrong with working out at a gym.
Even if you’re single at 40, it won’t hurt to be more physically fit.
You’ll look better and feel better about yourself.
It will make you feel like you can do whatever you set your mind to, no matter how old or young you are (even if it’s just to eat healthier).
Apart from a healthy body, you can also find new health buddies who will inspire you more to put a premium on your health.
And remember, health is wealth at any age.
6) Take a vacation.
You might feel like you don’t have the money or time to take a vacation, but it’s important to take time off to travel and see what the world has to offer.
Maybe it will show you new possibilities for work.
Maybe you’ll find that there’s more out there than living in the city.
Maybe you’ll want to move somewhere else after getting a taste of something else.
See the world and admire its beauty.
It will make you realize how beautiful life is and how lucky you are for having the chance to reach 40 fruitful years (and more) living on this amazing planet.
7) Read books.
Life begins at 40, but reading begins forever.
You don’t have to feel stressed or angry at not being in a relationship.
Just continue reading and maybe you can write your own love story one day.
Read about love and relationships, read about other people’s experiences.
Read about how single people have been able to cope with life, read self-help books, and read inspirational stories.
Read to learn.
Read to inspire.
Read to entertain.
There is a different world out there, in the pages of those books.
8) Create a new routine.
It’s probably time to take a look at how you spend your time each day.
What do you do every day?
Think about the past 5 years or so, and what certain habits had actually done to you.
Every action of yours has an effect on your life.
Change is imperative for changing the direction of your life and bettering yourself.
The worst thing you can do is to stay stagnant because age is not an excuse.
Apply what you’ve learned in the past five years and create new habits that will make your life better as you reach 40 and beyond.
Create a routine that works for you.
There’s no one perfect routine for everyone.
The point is to do something different, something good for yourself, that will move you forward in life.
9) Develop a new interest.
If you like art, join a painting class.
Maybe it will give you a sense of fulfillment, and that is all you need to find happiness in life.
If you like dancing, join a disco class.
If you like sports, join a kickboxing class or take up soccer or go to the gym.
Do something you enjoy that is able to fulfill you.
You will find yourself happy with a purpose.
What one-time hobby can help you get out of your comfort zone?
Music, sports, photography…it’s all good!
It becomes more fun doing something by yourself because then you can take your time to explore without being rushed or hurried by anyone else’s schedule.
You are not a member of any team or club where friends or teammates rush you.
When you go do something by yourself, it becomes more rewarding and there’s nothing like building things on your own.
10) Visit a museum.
Even as a single man, it doesn’t make sense to let art and history pass you by.
There’s no better way to appreciate the world than through the eyes of someone else who has gone through this before you.
Think about the great people you have met so far in your life (whether it is your parents, grandpa, friends, colleagues, or significant others) and how interesting it is to see them from a different perspective.
You will enjoy the experience of learning new things about them and reflecting on the past.
The museum is a great place to do so.
While you’re there, maybe you can also find other people who are single at 40 enjoying their time there.
It’s wonderful to see someone else’s perspective about one of the greatest gifts of existence: life.
A single man’s perspective is just as worthwhile as a married man’s (or a married woman’s perspective…bonus points for married folk).
You’re not alone.
To sum it all up.
Being single at 40 is not the end of your life.
It’s all about perception. Do not let it stop you from living.
There’s still so much to learn about life. Discover something new about this universe.
Spend time with people who care about you and want to see you happy.
Focus on yourself and what you can do to make this world a better place.
Find something that you like, take time off to do it, and find out why it’s necessary for you to stay healthy at 40.
I hope this will encourage you to enjoy your life as a happy single person.
Being alone is not a bad thing.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.