12 signs you’re dating an idiot (and you only have yourself to blame!)

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So, you’re about to get exclusive with someone and you think they’re just perfect.

Except for one thing.

There’s something about them that makes you wonder, “Am I dating an idiot?”

Sometimes, our partners do something that makes us second-guess the relationship. And it’s bad enough to make our friends go, “Why are you dating this person?”

Here are 12 signs you’re dating an idiot…

Let’s jump straight in!

1) They’re inconsiderate 

The first thing you should look out for when dating someone new is whether they’re considerate of others or not.

This can help you predict how they’ll treat you when things get serious. 

After all, the guy you’re dating may still be trying to impress you, if it hasn’t been long since you met!

So how can you tell if this person’s an idiot?

For example, he may be inconsiderate to service staff when you’re out on a date. 

Say it’s a busy night and they’re shorthanded: your guy will take it upon himself to yell at them, just to show who’s boss!

This is a clear sign that the person you’re dating is an idiot.

Most importantly, it shows that your man being sweet to you doesn’t automatically mean he’s a kind and understanding person!

2) They lack common sense

I’ll be honest:

It may not be a huge deal for your partner to lack common sense! Maybe they are sweet and kind to you otherwise.

In fact, it might only be a problem if it becomes annoying or makes you dislike spending time together.

Here’s an example of when it does become a red flag:

Say you two are at the gym, and they’ve forgotten their headphones. So, the first thing they do is put their music on speaker mode.

Why do they do this?

Well, they can’t exercise without their music! And now you see that everyone is staring at them (and you, by default).

This might be a sign that you’re dating someone idiotic, or at the very least, just lacking in common sense…

3) They’re full of themselves

Maybe the guy you’re dating doesn’t lack common sense. Instead, he’s a know-it-all who likes giving unsolicited advice to others (and yourself)!

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lend others a helping hand.

Especially if you have the knowledge to dish out all kinds of advice!

But often, people who do this are in need of attention, and they’ll stop at nothing to get it, even if it means boasting about their skills whenever they can.

If the person you’re dating seems to be full of themselves, you’ve got to ask yourself if you’re willing to tolerate it.

Because it’s only going to get worse!

4) They don’t take accountability for their actions

Even if your partner doesn’t walk around with an inflated ego, they may still be an idiot. Especially if they don’t take accountability for their actions!

Let me explain.

Taking accountability for one’s actions is a big part of being in a relationship

When we make a mistake, we should acknowledge how we can be better, and remind ourselves not to do it again the next time around.

When it’s the third, fourth, or fifth time, though?

Ask yourself why you’re letting it happen! 

Maybe the guy you’re dating is always late and leaves you to see that movie alone, or wait for him for hours.

This is a sign he’s an idiot. He doesn’t want to see that what he’s doing is hurting you! 

5) They’re emotionally immature

As I mentioned earlier, having a lack of common sense can be a sign that the person you’re dating is an idiot.

Now, let’s talk about what it means to be emotionally immature. This is more than just lacking common sense; it’s a complete disregard for the feelings of others, in comparison to their own.

Maybe they don’t know how to communicate with you, and they start fights instead of talking it out.

Or they give you the cold shoulder when they’re stressed, instead of letting you know that they need space.

If they’ve been acting like this, now you know why something feels off…

6) They always want to have their way

Since we’re talking about emotional immaturity, let’s jump into another part of it: selfishness.

A sign that the person you’re dating is an idiot is they always want to have their way. You’ll find you’re constantly giving up on your desires just to please them.

Well, it seems like your partner doesn’t understand what it means to compromise! And compromise is a factor in the relationships that last.

It can be hard to see that your partner is being selfish, though, if you’ve always been a people-pleaser.

I completely understand.

The first step to seeing what’s really going on is taking note of how often this happens.

If it’s more than you think is reasonable, or you’re feeling unloved?

It’s time to pull the plug.

7) They’re always distracted

Is the person you’re dating always texting, or taking a call? Even when you’re out together?

That’s a sure sign they’re an idiot. 

And I’ll tell you why.

People who are in a relationship will always be excited to meet their partner, if it’s been a while! Unless they’re caught up in work or dealing with an emergency, there’s no excuse to be distracted when you’re together. 

You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re going through the motions of a relationship, without the love and the attention!

Remember that you deserve it all, and maybe you just need a new partner who can see that…

8) They never initiate

Speaking about your partner being distracted brings me to my next point…

Do you always find yourself initiating dates?

And does your partner wait for you to text or call first, because they’re either always busy or conveniently “forgot” about you?

Think about it.

You’re like an afterthought. And no one likes to feel like they’re not worth the effort!

This is a sure sign that your partner’s an idiot. You feel like you’re the only one putting in the work!

9) They expect you to take care of them

Here’s another sign the person you’re dating is an idiot: they expect you to wait on them and refuse to pull their weight around the house!

In which case, I’ve got bad news for you.

You should probably be drawing up an exit plan!

Let’s be real.

Those dishes in the sink aren’t going to wash themselves.

And you can’t be the one to do it every time! You’ve got to get them moving, and if they don’t, well, maybe it’s time to say goodbye…

10) They’re still talking about their ex

Ladies and gents, this is a big one.

If the person you’re dating still talks about their ex, it’s time to reevaluate where you stand in their life.

While many people remain on good terms with their ex, it is unlikely that they bring them up more than is necessary. Especially in a new relationship!

And even if they parted on bad terms, it doesn’t change anything.

Someone who constantly rags on their ex might have been the problem…

11) They withhold affection from you

What if they take it further and withhold affection from you? 

For example, by not wanting to spend time together unless you give them something in return, like sex?

People who withhold affection in this way want control, and they do it by making you work hard for their love.

This not only makes them an idiot, but your partner might also be a narcissist (it can be hard to tell).

If the person you’re dating is behaving like this, there’s no better time to find a way out!

12) They make you second-guess yourself

Let’s not kid ourselves: if you’re already having second thoughts about this relationship, it could be a sign the person you’re dating is an idiot.

But you may think, what if I’m the problem?

The truth is you’ve got to trust your gut. It can tell you whether or not someone’s worth your time!

Here’s what I think: your partner may not be an idiot, but they may not be the right person for you.

Does that answer your question?

If your gut is telling you something’s not right with this person, do yourself a favor and follow it.


So, do you think you are dating an idiot?

Now that you have an idea of what it’s like to date one, you may want to look back at your relationship to figure out if you should stay or move on!

While relationships aren’t perfect, there’s got to be a limit to how much bullsh*t you can take!

You may think, “Maybe my friend was right.”

Or you may choose to talk things out with your partner.

Either way, you know what to do next!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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