10 definite signs your ex wants you to contact him (and what you should say)

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Even after a breakup, it’s not uncommon for one partner to continue to have feelings for the other. 

If you recently broke up with your ex and find yourself still thinking about him, wondering if he thinks about you, and hoping that maybe someday you can be together again, there’s a good chance he feels the same way. 

Fortunately, there are signs you can look out for that will help you know if your ex wants you to contact him. 

Here are 10 of them:

1) He posts your songs on social media

Are you still friends with your ex on social media? Or, do you still follow each other?

If so, there’s a simple way you can check whether or not he wants you to contact him: take a look at his posts

If he shares songs that you used to listen to together, there’s a good chance he wants to hear from you again. 

In fact, it’s not uncommon for people who are still in love to listen to music that reminds them of their ex. 

If he’s especially attached to certain songs that remind him of you, then he may be hoping that you’ll see them on his feed and reach out to him.

What else?

Well, if he does this, it also shows that you’re still a part of his life and that you mean something to him – which is exciting news for you. 

2) He asks your friends about you

Here’s a definite sign your ex wants you to contact him: the asks your friends about you. 

If your ex keeps asking your friends how you’re doing, he’s probably hoping that they’ll tell you about the question. 

This is a subtle way for him to get in touch with you without getting rejected outright. 

Also, if he’s questioning your friends about what you’re up to and how you feel, this means he misses you.

You see, when a man has strong feelings for you and wants to see you again, he’ll do anything to get in touch with you. 

That means not only will he be asking your friends about you, but he may also be using strange tricks to get a response from them.

Depending on what happened between the two of you, your friends may or may not be open to him getting in touch with you again. And that’s why he might try to manipulate them. 

3) He sends you a gift in a game you used to play together

Still curious if your ex wants you to contact him? Finding out is easy if you and your ex ever played an online game together.

How so? 

Well, if you’ve ever played something like Candy Crush or Lord of the Board, then you know that you can send gifts to other players daily. If your ex sends you such a gift, it’s a definite sign he wants you to contact him.

Why is that?

This is because he is trying to remind you of those times when you used to play together. He may be nostalgic himself and would like to make you feel the same way.

Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. 

However, if you didn’t play any games together, think of similar situations. 

4) What would a relationship coach say?

While this article will shed light on the main signs your ex wants you to contact him, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like breakups. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was. 

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

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5) He likes your social media activity

Are you looking for more signs?

Then keep an eye out for likes on your posts! 

If your ex likes something you post, then he may want to get in touch with you again. 

Not only does this show that you mean something to him, but it shows that he can’t stop thinking about you. 

Also, pay attention to what exactly he reacted to. 

In case he hits the like button for something you know for sure he doesn’t like or something he wouldn’t normally like, then this is a sign that he’s trying to get your attention.

He may want you to contact him.

This behavior could also indicate that he doesn’t want you to be sad or angry – which means he cares about you. 

6) He didn’t remove you from a group chat

If your ex didn’t remove you from a group chat that you used to be a part of together, it could be another definite sign that he wants you to contact him.

Look at it this way: if he were truly over you, he’d have removed you from the group chat already – it would show that he doesn’t care about you anymore. 

Or, at least that he’s trying to get you out of his head and out of his life. 

But, if he still keeps communication lines open – he’s trying to suggest something else, namely, that he may want you to contact him.

After all, if he remembers how much fun you used to have and wants to experience it again, then it’s likely he’s hoping you feel the same way! 

7) He still has some of your things

Admit it: you didn’t contact your ex to get your things back. Or, did you?

If your ex still has some of your stuff and he didn’t try to return them, there’s a good chance he wants you to contact him.


In a way, he seems to be waiting for you to make a move in order to see if you’ll get in touch with him. 

Before you make a move, think about what he might be hoping for. 

He could be hoping that you will contact him and wish to see him again.  Or, maybe he hasn’t moved on yet and is holding out for something else to happen between the two of you.

The truth is that it’s impossible to know what he’s thinking and how he feels about you at this point.

But, if your ex still has some of your items and holds onto them, it could be a sign that he wants you to contact him.  It could also be a way to show you that he hasn’t moved on.

8) You still have some of his things

Do you keep your ex’s stuff too? If so, it might be time to contact him. 

Why? The decision is yours:

As soon as you figure out what you want, you can contact him to let him know. 

However, remember that if you decide to reach out, then you’ll have to be honest about what you want. 

Don’t expect him to be better prepared for this than you are. He is probably clueless as to what you want – ask yourself, are you prepared for his answer?

9) He didn’t start dating anyone else

If your ex seems to be single, then this could be another sign he wants you to contact him. 

Think about it: if he were truly over you and ready for a new relationship, then he’d be out there, actively looking for someone new. 

But, what if he’s just busy with work? 

Sure, being overwhelmed at work can keep him from dating anyone else. However, it’s also possible that he doesn’t want to date anyone else because he wants to be with you. 

Maybe he’s trying to show you that he’s waiting for you and that he’s worth approaching.

Once you find out, decide what you want to do next. Sending a simple text like “Hi, how’s it going?” is definitely not the way to go.

Why not? 

Because there are certain things that you should say to him in order to ensure your success – if that’s what you want. 

To do that, what you truly need is to learn how his mind works. You need to discover what makes him tick. 

That’s where dating expert Brad Browning comes in. Brad is a best-selling author and has helped hundreds of people get back with their ex via his extremely popular YouTube channel.

He’s just released a new free video that will give you all the information you need to use clever psychology when you contact your ex.

Click here to watch his excellent video.

10) He shows signs of depression

If you want to know whether your ex wants you to contact him, pay attention to changes in his behavior. 

Does he seem down, sad or hopeless? If so, he may be going through a very difficult moment in life, and this could also mean that he wants you to contact him.

How can you tell? 

Well, if you don’t see your ex, then the only way to know is if you ask his friends or if you scroll through his social media.

The bottom line: the only way to know for sure is to talk to him.

But, before you do that, you need to figure out what you should say to him.

What should you say to your ex?

If you’ve taken note of some of the signs that your ex wants you to reach out to him, it’s time to make contact. You can either try to make contact over the phone or send him a text message. 

The text message option is ideal because it gives him time to think and react. It also gives you the opportunity to choose your words wisely. 

But, what should you say to him? 

According to numerous dating experts, it would be best to keep things casual or ask for his help. 

Depending on how things ended up between the two of you, you could go for something like:

  • “I feel it’s been ages since we last spoke. How are you?”
  • “I walked past your favorite restaurant today and that made me think of the good times we’ve spent there. How are you holding up? “
  • “Hi, it’s been a while. I hope you’re well.”

The trick here is to keep things brief and to the point. This way he can easily understand what it is that you want from him. 

The point of this type of opening line is to make him feel comfortable. This can help avoid awkward situations and provide a little more time for him to think about what he wants to say next.

Also, remember to send him a text message at a time that’s convenient for both of you. Unless your ex is an early riser, then it’s probably not a good idea to contact him first thing in the morning – or late at night.

However, these text messages are only the beginning of a conversation.

Or, as mentioned before, you could ask for his help.


To answer this question, let me tell you what my long-term boyfriend replied: 

“Asking me for help would make you look helpless. I’d help you even if we’re broken up.”

Therefore, you could try to contact him with a pretext – you need his help with something.

Now, think of the things he’s good at. What could he do for you? 

Here are some ideas: 

  • “I need you to help me apply for a new job. I’m worried because I don’t have the right resume. I remember yours was very well-written.” 
  • “I’d like to apply for a credit card but I can’t find the right one. Can you help me? You’ve always been so good at this.” 
  • “I’m thinking about moving. I want to buy a house but I keep hearing bad things about the area where I want to live… can you give me some advice?”
  • “Do you think you would be able to help me out with a project I’m working on?”

However, if you’re feeling especially daring and you didn’t end things on a bad note, then you could say this:

  • “I saw that your favorite band had a show coming up soon, and I was wondering if you’d make it. You’d enjoy it – the crowds are always fun!”

So, it all depends on the relationship you had with your ex and whether or not you feel capable of taking this next step.

If you do, then let him know. Don’t be afraid.

When contacting your ex, remember to:

  • Be honest about what you want (and don’t want) from him;
  • Respect his privacy;
  • Don’t play games with him;

Is my ex scared to contact me?

If your ex is thinking about contacting you, but he’s afraid of doing so, then you could try to reach out to him.


To show him that you’re interested in him and encourage him to take a chance. 

If he was afraid of making the first move before, then, he will definitely feel more comfortable with this new development.

Why would he be afraid to contact you?

1) He’s afraid you might reject him

Your ex could be afraid that you will push him away if he contacts you. 

This is the most common reason why exes avoid contacting each other. They fear being rejected, and they don’t know what to say or do next.

But, you’ve come this far – you know he wants to talk to you. 

2) He doesn’t know what to say

If you’ve had a very long-term relationship, then it’s possible that your ex doesn’t even know what to say when contacting you. 

This is especially true for men. If a man hasn’t contacted his ex for weeks – or even months – he may be wondering what to text her.

3) He’s afraid of getting hurt

Even though you broke up, you probably didn’t do so in the nicest way. 

It’s possible that your ex still has feelings for you and he’s afraid of getting hurt. Therefore, he avoids contacting you. 

However, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to speak with you anymore. It just takes time for him to get over his feelings – if that even happens at all.

Final thoughts

Breakups are never easy, but with these 10 signs, you can tell if your ex wants you to contact him. 

What should you do next? Well, it’s time to take action. 

If you want him back into your life, then you should definitely contact him. 

However, make sure you find the right approach so he doesn’t brush you off.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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