Let’s face it: it hurts like hell to break up with your significant other.
Even if you know it’s the right thing to do, there are probably a lot of conflicting emotions going on inside you.
In time, you probably get over the failed relationship and begin to focus on yourself again.
That being said, breaking up is seldom the end of things. It is not uncommon for people to still have feelings for their ex after a break-up even years later. Even if those feelings aren’t romantic any longer.
If you find yourself in this situation, then you might be wondering if your ex wants to get back together.
What can you do? How does one know if an ex wants to get back together?
Here are 15 subtle signs your ex wants to get back together in the future:
1) They comment on your social media posts
Ever had an ex reacting to your Instagram stories?
Subtle, but obvious signal that they may be trying to shoot their shot back into your life.
Even if they haven’t contacted you directly, they may be trying to show that they care or are thinking about you by taking interest in what you’re doing.
If you’re interested in a reconciliation, make use of their continued presence on your timeline as a window of opportunity.
Perhaps reply to their comments or play the game along and react to their posts.
If you want immediate clarity, simply start a conversation with them to clarify what all of this means to them.
2) They reach out to you first
If they reach out to you directly instead of leaving hints that they’re thinking of you like liking your social media posts, that could be a pretty clear sign that they want to rekindle things with you.
They are trying to test the waters to see if you are still interested in them.
There are several reasons why your ex might reach out to you first.
They may be curious about what you’ve been up to since the breakup, or they may feel guilty about being the one to end things.
Or they could simply be looking for validation or support from someone who has been there before them.
Either way, reaching out can signal a desire to get back together.
But there’s no need to take the bait if you don’t want to. Instead, be honest with your ex and let them know how you feel.
You can decide together whether or not it makes sense to go down that path.
3) They apologize a lot for the way they treated you
It’s not unusual for people to apologize a lot after breaking up.
It can be because they feel guilty, or because they’re trying to make things right.
However, when people say sorry, it can be difficult to know what they really mean by it.
Some people like to apologize to get on your good side and get you to forgive them so they can feel better about themselves again.
One way to tell if someone is genuinely sorry for their actions is to look for sincerity in their tone of voice and body language.
Another signs to tell if they are being sincere are:-
- They have no attitude or sarcasm
- They’re willing to change their behaviour
- They apologize for things that happened in the past.
You may also want to consider whether your ex is not just saying “sorry” a lot.
For example, do they make excuses for why things went wrong? Or do they blame others?
If your ex is genuinely sorry, they’ll more than likely want to own up and make up for their mistakes and get you to forgive them so they can try to rekindle the relationship.
4) They want to catch up and reestablish the friendship
You must be wondering, are they trying to put you in the friend zone?
Or maybe it’s just one of their tactics to draw you closer to them in an attempt to win you back!
If you do want to get back together with your ex, you probably want to reestablish a healthy friendship at first.
No one likes someone who’s pining after them or is constantly trying to get them back.
It’s best to take things slow and establish a positive friendship again before any romantic feelings pop up again.
This way you can truly get to know each other again and see if you’d be a good fit as a couple.
Here are some ways on how you can reestablish a healthy friendship with your ex:
- Make sure you’re ready for a friendship with your ex
- Communicate honestly and openly with them
- Spend quality time together
- Don’t rush into things. Build your relationship slowly and steadily
Reestablishing friendship with your ex is not a piece of cake. It takes time and effort on both sides.
And it’s all about mutual respect and willingness to build trust again.
As the friendship develops, your ex may want to discuss what went wrong, as I mentioned in my following point…
5) They want to know what happened and why they ended up breaking up
In the aftermath of a break up, people often want to know why it happened.
Some may wonder if there was something they did wrong, or if one person was at fault. Others might wonder what could have been done to prevent the relationship from ending.
While you may be eager to hear what he or she has to say, you also know that this could be an opportunity for them to try to get back together with you.
One thing they may want to do is find out if there were any underlying issues that caused the breakup, which could have led to the situation in the first place.
This can be a good opportunity for them, especially if they weren’t able to figure out what was wrong before.
Despite the temptation to give in and agree to reconcile, it’s important not to do so. Instead, it’s best to listen carefully and respectfully.
Be sure that you’re taking notes so that you can remember the details of your relationship and how things got bad between you in the first place.
It is also important to remember that you have a right to speak your mind and express your feelings during this time.
In many cases, there are no bad feelings and both parties are just at different places in their lives now.
6) They try to win your trust back
It’s especially hard to be able to trust someone you’ve broken up with again.
So, if your ex is trying to win your trust back, this is a very good sign they want to get back together with you.
Getting your trust back might include your ex doing whatever they can to make up for the bad behaviour that led to the breakup.
It could be as simple as your ex making an effort to be more respectful toward you.
It doesn’t stop there. It could also mean your ex stops trying to control you.
All in all, make sure that they’re putting in enough effort before you allow yourself to trust them again.
And if you want to make it work, it should be the same the other way around too!
7) They constantly talk about the good old days
It means they haven’t moved on yet, and who knows?
They may still want to be with you again!
They have made you the center of their attention and you’re all they can think about.
Your ex will reminisce about the good times when you were together and talk about how happy he or she was. They may even go as far as to say things like, “I wish things could be like they were back then.”
Perhaps they miss the memories that you created together, and they miss how carefree life was when you two were together.
How should you respond?
Well, you can take this as a sign that you should try to mend things with your ex. It’s best to consider your ex’s motives carefully before responding, and listen to your gut.
Even if the relationship ended on bad terms, try to take an objective look at the whole situation so that you can avoid any future conflicts.
8) They send you drunk texts
When they send you a drunk text with some flirtatious undertones, it’s a sign they’ve finally had the courage to try and tell you how they feel. They might confess that they’ve been thinking about you and that they miss you.
You can use this opportunity to connect with them if you want them.
There’s nothing wrong with flirting back and having a little fun. This way, you and your ex can strengthen your relationship and have a good laugh the next day.
However, sometimes you might not really know what’s going on in their thoughts.
Thus it’s risky to respond to their incomprehensible text with anything significant since they might not interpret well.
If you’re unsure what their text means, it’s best to keep your reply short and sweet.
9) They try to flirt with you
What do you do when you like someone and want to get with them?
That’s exactly what your ex is doing.
It’s an indication that they’re trying to get your attention and rekindle the feelings you once had for each other.
They’ll compliment you, tell you that they miss you and they might let you know that they’re romantically available (I’ll talk about this in my next point).
If you still have feelings for your ex, then their flirting is a great indication that you still have a possibility to get back together.
Go ahead if you think they deserve another chance. It’s your call.
10) They purposely tell you that they’re still single
For the most part, it’s a hint that they’re looking for love.
And in this case, they’re telling you indirectly that there’s a chance for you two to get back together.
This most likely indicates that they are still grieving the loss of the connection you two had which has made them not emotionally prepared for a new relationship.
Is this a good thing?
If you’re hoping to get back together, then yes, it is.
Knowing that there’s no one else in the picture can make it easier for you to entice your ex back into your life.
11) They invite you to events with their friends or family
It’s always a good thing when your significant other introduces you to their friends and family.
And it’s even better when they still invite you to meet their loved ones although you two are no longer together.
It means they still have a lot of love and care for you and want you to be part of the special people in their life.
How can you beat that?
It’s up to you whether to accept their invitation or not.
It’s understandable if you feel a bit awkward to meet them again after everything that’s happened, especially if the relationship ended badly.
If you do decide to go for it, make sure you put on the best first (in this case, second) impression.
Wear your best dress and talk about all things positive. Don’t stress out too much and just have fun.
12) They want to know what you’re doing and who you’re seeing
It’s obvious that they’re still not over you yet if they do this. When people still have feelings for their ex, they might want to know if their ex has been out on dates and seeing anyone, either through you or other people (read my next point).
This is to see if they’ve moved on.
If your ex asks you about your relationship status, be honest with them.
Tell them if you’re seeing someone. If you’re seeing someone, tell them about it and see how they respond.
Are they completely cool with it, or perhaps even a little envious?
And if you aren’t, let them know then see if it allows for further conversation regarding the two of you.
13) They ask your mutual friends about you
It could be that they are looking for clues that might help them get back on track, or it could simply be an effort to get some insight into how you are doing.
Asking your friends about you doesn’t mean your ex is stalking you or making you uncomfortable.
In fact, it’s probably a good sign if they’re doing this!
It just means they are taking the time to understand more about you, which is a positive sign that they care. It’s up to you whether or not to tell your ex about these questions.
But if they’re asking specific details in an effort to better understand who you are as a person, it’s probably best not to hide things from them.
14) They do things to make up for the bad behaviour that led to the breakup
It is very common for an ex to make up for their mistakes in order to win you back.
One way to know if an ex is making up for their mistakes is to look at how they are dealing with the situation.
Are they using the situation as a learning opportunity?
Are they being honest with themselves and others?
Are they being proactive in correcting the situation?
If an ex makes up for their mistakes by admitting that they were wrong and taking responsibility for what happened, then it is possible that they are doing this because they care about you and want to make things right.
So if you have questions about why your ex is acting in a certain way, or if you have concerns about whether your ex is making up for their mistakes, then it could be a good time to talk to them.
15) They only want to be friends at first…but it doesn’t last long
Now, what do I mean by this?
Well, some people can stay as friends with their ex.
It’s hard to just stay friends with someone when there’s a lot of feelings involved. They might feel insecure and feel like you’re not interested in giving the relationship a second go.
If you do want to get back with them, you need to reciprocate the efforts and passion to show that you do want to give it another try.
Place your ego aside.
However, if they were the ones to cause the relationship to end in the first place, it’s important that they’ve learned from their mistakes and that they’re truly genuine about wanting to be with you again.
When your ex does any of the above things, it could mean that they want to get back together.
While these signs aren’t definite indicators that your ex wants to get back together with you, it can be a sign that the door isn’t permanently closed between the two of you.
So, what are you waiting for?
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