16 undeniable signs your ex never cared about you (and you need to move on)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

You’ve been through the wringer with your ex. 

But now it’s time to find out one way or another if he really cared about you or if he was just using you for the ride. 

If you feel as though he never really loved you and/ or that your relationship was a waste, then it’s time to move on and find someone who will truly care for you. 

Here are 16 undeniable signs your ex never cared about you!

1) He constantly made you feel bad about yourself

He would make comments that were cutting and hurtful, but he always said them in such a way that it was hard for you to articulate exactly how he made you feel. 

Perhaps it was more of an overall feeling than any specific thing he said or did. 

For example, maybe he always made you feel stupid and small but never actually came out and said so.

It’s time to kick him to the curb if you have a gut feeling that he didn’t care about you at all. 

You deserve someone who takes a genuine interest in how you are doing and actually likes being with you. 

Frankly, it is better that this relationship ended, so you can find someone better for yourself.

2) He never took an interest in your life

When you two were together, you tried and tried to get him to care about what was going on with your friends, family, job, and other activities. 

You wanted him to be part of your world.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t interested in any of it (if he was actually using you). 

He didn’t really care about the things that matter most to you and those closest to you.

If he was only interested in dating you long-distance, it is a red flag you should be aware of in the future. 

Perhaps he thought it was romantic, but it just meant another layer of separation between the two of you and your possible future together. 

If he really loved you, he would have wanted to spend as much time with you as possible and not relegated your dating to the occasional weekend trip.

If you were more of a placeholder for him than a real-life romantic love interest, it’s time to walk the other way.

3) He never wanted to commit or move in together

If he was in a rush to tie the knot but never wanted to make any actual plans for the future, then you should have been on red alert. 

If he simply wanted to be involved with you but not actually commit to you, then, unfortunately, that was a bad sign, to begin with. 

The simple truth is that guys know how important it is for us to be in a serious relationship with someone who loves us indefinitely, so this is the reason why they sometimes use it to get close to us. 

However, if that was just a way for him to make you fall in love, even more, he was probably not interested in acting on it from the beginning. 

The best relationships are built on something solid – shared dreams and visions of the future. 

So, if your ex never made any plans with you, then he didn’t have much real interest in the relationship or in your life at all.

4) A relationship coach can tell you for sure

While this article will shed light on the main signs your ex never cared about you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like not knowing if an ex-partner really cared about you. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was. 

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate the situation you’re facing with your ex and what to do next.

Click here to get started.

5) He was unavailable for dates due to his busy schedule

He didn’t have enough time for you because he was always doing something else important, such as studying or hanging out with his friends. 

He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be in a relationship at all, so he was making it easy for you by giving excuses for why he couldn’t see you.

If he was so busy that he couldn’t even make time for you, then there is no way this relationship would ever work out. 

Needless to say, this is very immature behavior that shouldn’t be tolerated. 

Remember – people who care about you will always find time to spend time with you and be in touch with you even when you’re away. 

In essence – if he always had good excuses, it means that he hasn’t cared for you enough to commit or to be honest about his intentions.

6) He made excuses to break up with you and make himself look good

If your ex was making excuses for why he had to end things, he really didn’t want to be with you. 

The fact that he made himself look good by breaking up with you also shows that he doesn’t care whether or not you get hurt. 

And, guess what? This made him look far worse but has probably hurt you even more because he didn’t even make an effort, to be honest with you. 

The way he ended things only shows that he is not ready for a serious relationship, and you are probably better off without him.

7) He didn’t listen to your point of view or respect your opinion

Ever noticed how loving couples communicate with each other constantly and how they respect each other’s opinions? 

Well, it’s because we all want to be respected and involved, especially when we are in a relationship with someone we care about. 

If your ex never really cared about what you thought or whether you got your way, it is a sign of disrespect and arrogance.  

For instance, if he was always busy with sports or a hobby and couldn’t make it to a concert that meant a lot to you, then he didn’t have very strong feelings for you.

8) He made decisions without consulting you

It’s one thing to not really care about what you think, but it is another thing to completely disregard your input on something that you are involved in together. 

If he was always making decisions without even considering whether or not you agreed with him, then he never really cared about your relationship. 

I know the feeling – it’s just not a good feeling when you don’t matter to someone who supposedly cares about you.

It is disrespectful and can be pretty hurtful, especially if you cared for this person deeply.

It is your life, too, and you have every right to have a saying in it.

9) He only called when he wanted something from you

Couples in love call each other all the time and show their love and affection in various ways. 

If he only reached out to you when he wanted something (a ride, money for the movies, etc.), then there was no way this relationship had any real substance to it. 

He was just using you to get what he wanted and didn’t care whether or not a relationship would ever take off. 

This is just selfish behavior, and you certainly don’t deserve to be with someone who treats you like an ATM or someone who will always be there for fulfilling wishes of any kind. 

A real relationship involves exchanging gifts, affection, and love on a regular basis. 

The easiest way to tell if someone is using you is to look at all of the other things that he or she does for you. 

If the other person doesn’t do anything for your relationship, then it’s definitely not a “romantic love” situation because people in love treat each other in much more caring ways.

10) He always made too many demands on you

If your ex expected you to give him everything he wanted or needed, then he never really cared about you. 

The fact that he would ask for money or a ride so often speaks volumes of his lack of commitment to what was really important – you.

And you know what – it is good that you’ve realized how selfish this person was. 

It just means that you know your worth now and want to feel loved and appreciated.  

It is not easy to go down this road of self-discovery, but it certainly is a good thing because it will help you to find that special person who really loves you for who you are and doesn’t want to use you for his or her own selfish needs.

11) He didn’t pay attention to how you were doing

He never asked how you were doing, and he never told you that he cared. 

If he was always rushing off the phone or never made it a point to ask about your day, then you

shouldn’t have been surprised when he didn’t ever plan for a future together. 

The simple truth is that you weren’t one of his priorities, and that is fine. 

It is good to realize sometimes when someone doesn’t appreciate you enough, so you can look for the people who will. 

The bottom line is that you must turn to people who will value you and make you a priority instead of putting you last after everything else. 

Life is hard as it is to let your partner be harsh to you.

A quality relationship requires offering support, love, and kindness every single day.

Otherwise, what’s the point?

12) He constantly let you down

If he was always late or failed to make plans with you, then there was no way that he really cared about spending time with you. 

If he didn’t care, then why would he bother? 

People who truly love you will be there for you and take care of you, not put their own selfish needs first. 

Make sure the person who has your heart is someone who would do anything to be there for you. 

If he or she only cares about himself, then why would they want to be with you, and why would you even give your time to such a person?

13) He spent all of his time with other people

You were more of a diversion for him than an important real-life person in his life, so there was no way that you were ever someone who really mattered to him. 

By spending most of his time hanging out with other people (instead of you), it was clear that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you and just wanted to be around for the ride. 

Perhaps, he was only interested in you as a rebound girl and did not really want to be in a serious relationship with you (like most people these days).

If you were on his mind constantly, he would have probably been much more mature about how he wanted to spend his time and wouldn’t have wasted it away on other people. 

Being in a relationship involves being ready to invest time and effort into being together doing things that both partners enjoy.

14) He only loved you in theory

If he told you that he loved you but never acted on it, then it was obvious that there was no real meaning behind those words of love. 

In a real relationship, there are many ways in which two people love each other and show their commitment to one another. 

If someone ever tells you that they love you but never show you, then be careful. 

They could just be using you or looking for someone to take care of them without giving anything back in return. 

Do you see where I’m going with this?

It is a red flag that this person just doesn’t care enough to go out of their way to make you happy. 

If he did not encourage your dreams and you never felt like he was really in your corner, that is one more sign that he simply wasn’t the right choice for you. 

If he was always trying to get you to aim lower and lower, then there was no way that he ever cared about your happiness or career goals.

15) He used you as a way to get over someone else

If your ex was using you as an emotional crutch – never making it clear that he actually wanted to be in a relationship with you – then there was no way this relationship had any real meaning. 

In addition to that, if you noticed that he used you by leaning on you for advice, but never really respected your opinions or your ideas, then there is no way you should have been emotionally invested in him. 

It is not easy to recognize these flags in a timely manner sometimes if our feelings are just too strong for us to really be objective about the situation. 

This is why it’s so important to have your family and friends around you, so they can be your support system or hint at things that might just be off.

Trust the people you love to guide you and direct you towards the things you should be aware of and do more to protect yourself from these kinds of situations in the future.

Trust your intuition and work on your self-confidence, so you can find the partner who will support you, love you, and be there for you when you need it.

16) He never asked you to marry him

Marrying someone is a big step, so when your ex doesn’t want to take this step, then you know that he really didn’t care about you.

He didn’t make it a priority because he probably wanted to be with someone else.

The point is that people who want to stay together make an effort to get married.

They take life seriously, and they want to stay with the person they love.

If your ex didn’t show any sign of wanting to marry you after several years of being together, then he never really wanted to be serious with you and start a family.

If he never even wanted to talk about the future with you, that is a red flag big enough for you to simply move on with your life and forget about him.

This is easier said than done, I know, but it is something you must do if you want to find someone who will love you and respect you as much as you need. 

Final thoughts 

You probably know deep down that it’s time to move on when your ex-boyfriend fails to show any initiative to talk to you about the future plans with you and show any form of desire to get back together.

This can be a challenging thing to do, but it is possible with a little bit of effort. 

Just remember that no matter what happened in the past, you can still find the love of your life – it just may take a little more effort on your part.

However, before starting a new relationship, make sure to learn how to be happy on your own and understand better your deepest desires, so when the time comes, you know what you need.

Hopefully, these signs will help you understand your ex better and heal from the relationship that hasn’t brought the love and satisfaction you were searching for!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.