Breaking up isn’t fun for anyone. Even if it was for the best, your ex could still be interested in you.
If you use social media often, you may find that they’re talking about you often or still traveling in the same circles.
You should watch out for the signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media, so you can take steps to resolve that issue.
1) They start talking about you…a lot
One of the signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media is that they just keep talking about you.
They may tag you in photos from years ago just to try to make conversation or write a whole new post about your history together. They might talk about you angrily or try to start fights about who you are or how you act.
You’ll just see that you’re coming up in conversation a lot more than you’re used to.
In a more positive situation, they might tag you and include you in a conversation with old friends and try to interact with you on the post. They could brag about your latest achievements or send congratulations from their personal page.
These habits show they’re definitely still interested in you and where your life is going.
If the communications are negative, though, remember that you have the ability to block them and stop them from communicating with you at all.
2) They start making excuses to communicate
“Oh, hey, remember that time we went to the beach? Do you remember the name of the restaurant?”
If this kind of random question is popping up years after you’ve broken up or at a time when the other person should clearly remember what they’re asking you about, the chances are that they’re just trying to make conversation with you.
Bringing up the past, as well as coming up with completely random questions to ask you, is a simple way to try to break the ice and get a conversation started.
So it’s clear they’re still into you, but how do you feel about them?
Is getting back together something you’d like to see happen?
If so, it’s as simple as sending a text message. A text so powerful, your ex will fear losing you for good. Since they’re all about social media, you can also send this message via whichever platform you’re connected on.
I learned about this from Brad Browning, best-selling author of The Ex Factor. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, and for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex sit up and realize you’re the one for them.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly things ended between you — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply straight away.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, stop skirting around on social media and take action. This video will show you exactly what to do.
3) They want to “get closure” in your DM’s
See a message pop up from an ex you didn’t get along with?
Maybe you suddenly ended the relationship or something else came between you. Remember that, sometimes, people have unresolved conflicts that they want to talk through.
In fact, research on couples has shown that there are almost always unresolved conflicts.
If your relationship ended suddenly and your ex is trying to get back in touch, it could be to work through those unresolved issues and to try to start over.
4) They make an online dating profile and “match” you
Did you know that around 40% of Americans use online dating? That might seem like a lot, but since there are so many people connected to the Internet, it’s not surprising.
What is more surprising is if your ex, who never had an online profile before, suddenly has one and is matching with you.
Maybe they match with you on Tinder and send you a message. Maybe they are on OkCupid and take the same test questions as you to see if you’re really compatible.
If you see that your ex is making an effort to match with you on these sites, and on multiple sites, they’re obviously not swiping left and are rather trying to take a second swing at a relationship with you.
5) You are using the same apps “accidentally”
The average smartphone user has around 10 applications installed on their phone.
If your ex had different interests than you and never played phone games or used certain other services but suddenly pops up as a friend using these apps that you can play with, then you should know that something unusual is going on.
It could be that they are trying to catch your attention by showing you that they are interested in the same things or attempting to better understand the things you’re interested in.
They could be hoping you’ll see that they’re also using an app and interact with them on it, too.
6) They overshare their dating life…and they want you to see it
One of the major signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media is that they keep oversharing about their dating life, and they tag you “accidentally” or make sure you’re able to see their posts.
They might post in their stories, so they know you’ll see them when you browse others’ stories each day. They might even send out a group message to multiple people and “accidentally” add you in.
They may want you to see that they’re doing well to make you jealous and want to get them back.
If you’re not interested, then this is a great time to unfriend, block, or otherwise ignore their obvious advances.
7) They post content they know you’ll love
Another way you can tell that your ex is trying to get your attention on social media is because they’ll start posting content that isn’t normal for them but that you know they know you’ll love.
For example, did your ex used to tell you how much they hated your favorite musical or movie?
If they start posting about it often, then they could be trying to send you a signal that they’ve had a change of heart and may be willing to participate in some of the things you love as a shared interest.
This is even more significant if they’re sending you the information directly to your timeline or DMs.
8) They start posting content they know you’ll interact with
One quick way to know that someone is trying to catch your interest is finding that they keep posting content that they know you’ll interact with. That content doesn’t have to be positive.
It might be them trying to get a rise out of you or posting something they know you’ll debate just to get a conversation started.
If they do this and then side with you on the issue, it makes them look good, right?
That’s what they’re hoping for and likely why they’re putting it up there, to begin with.
On top of this, once you have a debate with others, they may see it like a team effort, message you, and try to continue the conversation.
9)You can see they’re browsing your content on Facebook
On Facebook, you can see who has been viewing your content by going to “Who viewed my profile” in your Privacy Shortcuts.
See a bunch of messages about your ex on your page?
That’s a sign that they’re not over you at all. They may even be hoping to find a post or information that they can use to send you a message or start a conversation.
Facebook stalking isn’t very uncommon, but if they acted like they didn’t want anything to do with you in the past, then isn’t it unusual that they’d be following you so closely now?
I think it is, and I believe it’s a sign that they want to be in your life, even if they haven’t reached out yet.
10) You see major posting behavior changes
Did your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend ever post so much in the past?
Have they changed what they’re talking about? Are they posting only the best highlights of their life or making sure to post all of the bad things that have happened to them lately (and since you’ve been gone)?
If so, then you may be looking at one heartbroken ex who is trying to find a way back into your life.
Behavior changes are usually spurred on by changes in a person’s life, so a major breakup is sure to make someone lonelier and more likely to be online.
However, if they change their behaviors significantly, it may be because you’re no longer giving them the attention that they feel like they deserve. They’ll be hoping that you, or someone else in some cases, will fill that gap.
If you want to get back together, consider sending a message or two, liking a post, or generally interacting.
11) Your ex tries to make you jealous online
Another major one of the signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media is that they keep posting things to make you jealous.
A photo with a group of hot girls? Pictures of you with your best girlfriends in swimsuits?
These are photos that tend to draw attention anyway, and they’re more likely to catch you off-guard and make you jealous. Watch out, though, because this is a trap; they’ll be expecting you to contact them.
Someone who is hurt from the breakup could be rude about any interactions with you, but someone genuinely trying to get you back will make it seem like those pictures aren’t really reflecting how much they actually missed you while they were being taken.
12) Your ex likes or favorites your posts and photos
On Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms, your ex could easily go to your page and start liking or loving your posts. They can even save them in some cases.
If you notice that everything you post suddenly has a like, especially if that like comes quickly, understand that your ex-partner is still looking at your profile and trying to stay updated on what’s going on in your life.
The likelihood is that they miss you and want to talk to you, but they may not know where to start.
13) They comment on photos of you together annually (or more often)
You may also realize that your ex is trying to catch your attention if they regularly comment on past memories that come up on social media.
For instance, on Facebook, you may have memories with your ex that come up every day or two, if you posted images or comments involving them regularly in the past.
If your ex isn’t just looking at the memories but also sharing them with you, the chances are that they’re interested in speaking with you at the very least.
Your ex is probably reminiscing, but they may wish that they could go back and fix some of the things they’ve done.
14) They vocally mourn the loss of your relationship
Finally, if you find that your ex is regularly mourning the loss of your relationship online, it is a good sign that they want to get your attention.
They may actually come out and post that they miss being with you or that they wish you could still hang out together.
This can get creepy fast, especially if it’s a public post, but if they’re sharing these comments with only close friends and you’re getting them secondhand (due to being blocked or otherwise unable to see the posts), then there is a good chance that they’re going through the grief of their heartbreak.
If you want to be together, consider reaching out to see what they have to say.
These are a few ways you can tell that your ex is trying to get your attention on social media. Social media stalking and regular commenting are typical for people who want to be together or, at the least, stay friends, so don’t be surprised if you find a bunch of red flags that your ex is trying to get in touch.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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