Is your ex happy without you? 21 signs they are

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Breakups are painful, especially if you don’t have a proper closure.

Sometimes there are things you wanted to say but didn’t. Other times you’ve said what you had on your mind, but you’re still completely unable to move on. 

When that’s the case, knowing that your ex is happier without you can help you to put an end to your suffering and finally move on with your life.

So, whether you’re still hoping for a reunion or are simply curious…

…here are 21 tell-tale signs that your ex is happier without you now.

21 signs that your ex is happier without you

1) They always tell you off

If they…

  • Don’t want to speak with you;
  • Tell you to leave them alone;
  • Refuse your pleas for a reunion;
  • Tell you to move on;

…then you should probably listen to that. 

If you’ve been deluding yourself into thinking that they’re just playing games or trying to use reverse psychology on you, then you need to stop.

Trust me.

As painful as it is, you need to accept that they actually mean what they’re saying! You aren’t doing yourselves a favor by clinging to false hope.

Now, for the most part, exes will still try to be civil with one another (unless the relationship ended tragically). 

Most of the time, they’ll try to give you hints that they’re over you. If you two talk, they’ll sound uninterested or give you short, generic responses.

It truly is painful, but you need to take that hint. Leaving them alone is the best for both of you.

2) They don’t talk about you to their loved ones

When you enter into a relationship, you also enter into their world. In other words, you sort of develop a separate connection with their friends and family.

Did it happen to you too?

But does it mean that after you break up, you also break up with other people who came into your life through your ex?

Of course not!

If you developed real personal bonds with some of your ex’s friends or family, you don’t necessarily have to end them once your relationship ends. It’s fine to remain in touch with them even after your breakup—and it’s not too uncommon, either.

Personally speaking, one of my closest friends right now is someone I met through my ex-boyfriend’s friend group! We have lots of fun, and I’m happy they’re still in my life.

But there’s another perk of keeping a connection with your common friends, and this is—knowing if your ex still ever mentions you, or asks about you.

If not, then it’s a clear sign that they’ve moved on. If you aren’t in their thoughts anymore, then it simply means that you’re no longer part of their world too.

3) They refuse any kind of hangout with you

This doesn’t necessarily mean that they hate you—at least there’s that.

Even if they were the type to “always be down for anything” back in the relationship, they still might want to maintain their distance now that you’ve broken up.

They don’t want to accidentally lead you on or give you false hope—especially if they know that you’re still moving on.

If they refuse even just a quick cup of coffee together, then know that they’re completely finished with the relationship—and you should be too.

But I remember when I broke up with one of my ex-boyfriends in the past…It took me a solid 3 months to realize I didn’t want to be apart, and I started to seek ways to reunite with him. I knew it wasn’t completely over as our common friends told me he’s been mentioning me and thinking about our break-up too.

So, I started to dig into how to make him want me back…

That’s when I learned about Brad Browning’s method.

He helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for a good reason.

In this free video, he explains what you can do to make your ex want to reunite again.

I was scared it wouldn’t work because I kinda messed up in the relationship…I felt bad about even asking my ex to reconsider our break-up.

But no matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — Brad will give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.

Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.

4) They’re already in another relationship

Well, if your e is dating someone else, it might be a bit harder to try to get them back…

And do I need to even ask this…but…is there an even more obvious sign that they’ve happily moved on? 

If they’re already dating someone else, then your relationship is definitely a thing of the past for them.

It doesn’t matter if they’re in a serious relationship, just casually seeing someone, or getting their toes wet in online dating.

Even if they haven’t moved on completely yet, then they’re at the very least trying to by putting themselves back out in the dating world.

Either that or they want to give off that impression. In this case, they’re still trying to ward you off by pretending that they’re taken or are searching for a relationship.

Then, it’s up to you what to do with that information!

5) They told you to move on

This is connected to our first point.

Maybe you’ve been bugging them about “closure” or attempting to fix things in hopes of a reunion. One day, however, they just might finally put their foot down and tell you to move on.

Maybe they’ve run out of patience.

Or maybe they sincerely want you to move on with life and be happy again. They’re tired of seeing you suffer, and they also feel bad for always refusing you.

In my experience—as a dumper and a dumpee, it’s probably both.

It can be painful to see them put up a wall just like that, but honestly, take these final words from them as a gift. Use this pain as a starting point to heal and rediscover yourself.

6) They give back your stuff (or get theirs back)

Nostalgia is a hell of a drug (I know, trust me). Many people are tempted to keep their ex’s stuff for the memories

However, if your ex returns your stuff or gets theirs back, then it’s a strong sign that they have committed to moving on.

They are no longer attached to these objects. Or, at the very least, they are actively trying to kill off any attachment they might have.

It means that the residual emotions carried by the objects associated with the past relationship are weighing them down emotionally. 

 They simply feel lighter and happier without them—and without you.

7) They don’t care if you’re dating again

Even if we no longer love our exes, we can still feel negative emotions towards their new partners. 

Maybe you still resent your ex and want their relationship to fail too. Or maybe you feel that their new partner represents everything you supposedly lacked.

Either way, it’s a sign that you’re not over the breakup even if you no longer hold feelings for our exes.

On the other hand…

If your ex doesn’t care or is even happy for you if you’ve found someone new, they’re most definitely over your past relationship.

It means that they:

  • Are at peace with how the relationship ended;
  • Have processed their feelings about it;
  • Are secure in themselves;
  • And hold no residual resentment or love for you.

They may even feel relieved that you’re no longer in pain from the breakup.

The past is the past for them, and they’re okay with what the future holds for the both of you.

8) They don’t answer your calls or messages

This one is pretty common. Most people need space after a breakup and are not in the right state of mind to talk to each other so soon after.

Some of us can talk again and remain in touch straight after we’ve aid our final “goodbyes”. But it an also be because we’re secretly hoping for a second chance.

But, if a long time goes by (say, a few months), and your ex has not even “seen” your Messenger chats, it means they are fully committed to moving on from you. 

Even more so if they’ve blocked your number.

It can definitely feel a bit harsh being on the receiving end of this, but maybe they just feel better not communicating with you at all. 

It’s their way of moving on, and you should find yours too.


You actually want to try to get them back.

This relates back to what Brad Browning taught me – there are a few simple ways to get your ex back.

As I mentioned earlier, he’s an expert at helping couples work through their issues and rebuild their relationships and I personally found his approach very helpful and beneficial. 

Click here to watch the free video.

9) They’re enjoying life

They don’t want to see you (in fact, they’re not replying at all after they told you to move on already), and they’ve gotten back their stuff.

Then, you see on social media (through mutual friends if your ex blocked you) or hear from their friends and family that they’re:

  • Traveling;
  • Hanging out often with their friends;
  • Killing it at their job;
  • Or dating again.

If they’re enjoying life then yes, they are happy (duh).

“But that doesn’t mean they’re over me!”, you might protest.

Even me, I had moments when I seemed happy, but deep inside, I was still crying over my ex-boyfriend.

But there’s only so much time you can spend suffering over your breakup. At some point, you’d have to get up and get back into the world, girl!

So, instead of feeling bitter, jealous, or resentful, try to look at it this way, if healing and happiness are possible for them, then you should find your happiness too! 

10) Your “friendship” feels distant

Let’s say that they didn’t go the radio silence route and agreed to remain friends after the breakup. Don’t be surprised if this supposed “friendship” is far from what you expected.

It’s likely that they’ll feel more like polite acquaintances than genuine friends. The friendship will simply feel distant, and you won’t have even an ounce of intimacy.

And that sucks, I know. The feeling of them suddenly being so distant and formal with you after you shared some of the most intimate moments together.

It’s difficult to determine if this is a result of you just naturally growing apart or if they are intentionally trying to keep their distance. 

Maybe keeping you close just means more mental load or emotional baggage for them.  They’re simply happier if there’s a good amount of distance between the two of you.

11) They moved away

Once again, it’s hard to say if your ex moved away to get away from you or if that’s just where life naturally took them.

In either case, it means that they’ve moved on. 

They’re A-okay with not being in the same area as you. You simply no longer hold a place in their day-to-day world. They probably even feel happy and excited about a completely new chapter in their life.

So don’t expect to see them randomly across the street or in the supermarket. In fact, you just might not ever see them again ever.

And that’s okay—maybe even great! It’s painful right now, but the physical distance actually gives you even more opportunity and room to heal and move on as well.

So, don’t take them moving out personal, girl! 

Maybe, they’ve just been a bit more efficient with processing the break-up than you. But it doesn’t mean you won’t be there too, moving on with your life!

12) They don’t talk to you about their life anymore

Some exes feel the urge to ask each other how they’re holding up after the breakup. With each other’s answers, one can gauge how their ex is doing in life and if they’ve been missing each other or not.

But if they keep shutting you down whenever you ask how their life is post-breakup, then one thing is clear: they don’t want you in it. 

I’m sorry to say it, girl.

They’re simply happier without you.

Once again, having a person you were once so intimate with now be so distant can definitely be painful.

However, this just might be a blessing in disguise. Some people remain bitter or resentful deep inside, and if your ex is one of these people, they might use these conversations to toy with your emotions. 

Plus, generally speaking, avoiding these kinds of conversations will simply help you move on.

13) He’s not affectionate with you in any way

Do you guys work in the same place? Or do you belong to the same social circle? 

If so, you might still find yourselves in the same room from time to time—even if you don’t go out of your way to talk to each other.

In my experience, unless the breakup was tragic or if the two people are immature, most exes are, at the very least, civil with each other.

However, as their ex-partner, you should know how they flirt or express affection. 

Were they touchy? Were they generous with compliments? Did they beam a smile at you every time they saw you?

You will notice that they will no longer do any of these things to you. Don’t expect any kind of flirting or affection if they’re truly happy without you.

Yes, they will be polite and civil. Friendly, even. 

But there will be something noticeably cold and distant in the way they will talk to you.

14) They won’t be in your social circle anymore

Leaving other people except of your ex might be harsh. But what if they do it and they simply start to avoid your shared social circle?

For example, they might:

  • Stop hanging out with mutual friends (especially if you’re there);
  • Leave online communities you’re both a part of;
  • Take back or return shared account passwords.

From what I’ve observed, the people who do this are the ones who need clean slates when moving on to new chapters in life. They can’t afford any nostalgia to hinder them.

Of course, not everyone does this. 

And you don’t have to do it too. In fact, you don’t have to go down the road of the “most common relationship and break-up patterns”. 

What I mean by that is if you feel like you’ve been trapped in the loop of repetitive events throughout your past relationships, maybe it’s a good time to finish that cycle.

Did you ever consider reaching out to a relationship coach to fix your troubling patterns? I’ve done that in the past and it was one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made.

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand why I was acting in one way and not the other. 

This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.

My coach literally took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to be truthful to myself, do what I feel is right, and not what I’ve been told to do. 

I’m in a new relationship now and it wasn’t easy to act differently from my previous patterns. But I’m very optimistic about how it’s going and I feel that I’m in a good place mentally now. I understand my needs and desires much better than in the past.

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.

15) They stop trying to “win the breakup”

Some people try to “win the breakup” after splitting. But what does this even mean?

Trying to “win the breakup” means trying to be more successful and happier than your ex after breaking up with them—and flaunting it. Hard.

Have you seen them:

  • Posting about how good it is to be single?
  • Boasting happy they are without you?
  • Aggressively sharing their success stories?
  • Telling people, you’re not over them, but they’re over you?

Honestly, doing this doesn’t actually mean that they’re over the breakup and enjoying life. 

In my opinion, it’s actually the opposite: they’re not over it yet; instead, it’s a strong indicator of residual bitterness and resentment.

By doing this, they’re trying to make it seem like you loved them more than they loved you. Or that they’re the more mature ones by being able to move on more quickly. Or that they’re simply the better, more successful person.

But here’s the thing: true happiness and peace are internal. You won’t need to boast about it to the external world.

If you were truly happy and content, you wouldn’t feel the need to resort to such silly games of trying to one-up each other.

So consider this: is your ex actively posting about their promotion or other achievements? Does it look like they’re bragging about it too much? 

Then they probably are. 

I wouldn’t take it as a sign that they’re truly happy without you but I also wouldn’t read it as anything else rather than them actually wanting some attention.

16) You’ve long been blocked

Blocking your ex is often the knee-jerk reaction people have after a breakup.

There are two kinds of blocks:

  • Soft Block = You’re only blocked on certain platforms;
  • Hard Block = You’re blocked everywhere.

So if you’ve been hard blocked for, say, 6 months or a year now, then it’s clear that your ex doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. They are simply happier and calmer without that lingering connection, even if it’s purely online.

Or, they are trying their absolute best to move on from you. 

That’s exactly what I did. 

Until now, I have my first ex-boyfriend blocked everywhere. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and even email.

I was a young, immature person back then. I initially blocked him, but then I just couldn’t resist unblocking him from time to time just to see what he was up to. Deep in my heart, I was still attached to him.

So one day, I put my foot down and said enough is enough. I blocked them for good and focused on myself.

Even now that I’ve moved on from him completely, I’d still rather keep him blocked. I have no hate for him at all, but he’s just a person that I just want to keep firmly in the past.

Your ex just might be the same.

17) You can’t win them back no matter what you do

If you’ve been trying your absolute hardest to win them back, but they just keep shutting you down, then you need to accept the truth.

And the truth is that they’re over you. They’re happy with their life without you.

Absolutely nothing will change that. There just isn’t a chance anymore.

Okay, technically, there’s no way to know for sure if there’s still a chance of a reunion.

But still, ask yourself: is it worth pouring so much time and energy into this hypothetical sliver of hope? 

Is it worth sacrificing the now for a future that you logically know will most probably never happen?

If you only broke up a few weeks ago, then fine, maybe there’s no harm in trying if you really want to be this with the person. But if it’s been months and months? 

You’re doing both your ex and yourself a disservice.

Regardless, I firmly believe that you should focus on healing yourself first. 

Because on the off chance that you do get back together, you want to be your best self—not the desperate mess you might be right now (sorry girl, judging from my personal experience).

18) There’s zero social media contact

What if they haven’t blocked you though? You might feel like there’s a chance for a reunion.

While that may be somewhat true, ask yourself: have they ever interacted with you on social media?

I’m not just talking about direct messages here.

Have they completely stopped:

  • Liking your posts?
  • Sharing your posts?
  • Posting old pics with you?
  • Mentioning you in any of their posts?

If so, then they’ve blocked you in spirit.

Sure, they might still see you in their timeline from time to time. But, as time goes on, if they haven’t interacted with your profile at all, then the platforms’ algorithms will essentially make you disappear from each other’s feeds. 

Again, if they just don’t want to connect with you in any way now, then it’s because they’re happier doing so.

19) They always had other options

During your relationship, did you feel like your ex always interacted with other people, in, you know, romantic way? 

Were there times when you felt like they were so close to choosing other people instead of you?

Even more so, did they end up with any of these people after breaking up with you?

Your ex might’ve fancied other people even during your relationship.

Sorry girl, but if they can easily find another romantic relationship (or are already in one right now), then they’re probably happy without you.

Let them go and find someone who’d truly value you. Because you deserve it, girl!

20) They walk the talk

Breakups can cause people to say all sorts of things. Some things they mean, and some—they don’t.

Even if someone:

  • Tells you they’re over you;
  • Says they don’t want to talk to you anymore;
  • Insists they don’t love you anymore;
  • Or even says they never want to see you again…

… these are just words. 

A few weeks later, they just might come running back to you telling you that they didn’t mean.

But, if they actually never talked to you again or kept you blocked on social media…

Then they probably meant what they said. At the end of the day, actions matter far more than words.

And if their actions clearly show that they’ve moved on and are happy without you, then you need to believe it.

21) The relationship didn’t last that long

A quick question.

Which relationship holds more weight?

The one that lasted for 3 months? The one that lasted for 3 years? Or the one that lasted for 5 years?

More often than not, the longer the relationship, the more serious it was. Now, of course, every relationship is different, and there’s no official cut-off point that differentiates “serious” and “casual” relationships.

Still, generally speaking, the longer a couple has been together, the stronger they loved each other and the more invested they were in the relationship.

So if you haven’t been dating long—say, just three months—then it’s hard to say that such a relationship was completely serious.

Thus, the shorter your relationship was, the faster and easier your ex will get over you.

But it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t still want them back regardless of how long you dated, right?

Sometimes, it just happens that you really want your ex back for good.

If that’s your case, you’ll need the help of Brad Browning. I mentioned him earlier, he’s developed some incredible techniques to help rebuild the love and trust between you and your ex. 

I personally followed his advice and managed to get my ex back even after I messed up…like…a lot.

And the best part? 

With his practical advice and tips, you could be in contact with your ex much sooner than you think. So, are you ready to take the plunge and fight for the love you once shared together?

If so, check out Brad’s excellent free video.

Here’s the link once again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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