20 signs your ex is still attached to you  

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A breakup is a chance to start over, but sometimes you’ll get a nagging feeling that your ex is still attached to you. Is it just your imagination, or do they still have feelings for you?

Spotting signs your ex is attached to you will help you heal after a breakup, so here’s a list of the 20 ways you can spot an attached ex.

1) “Remember when” conversations

When you talk to your ex, are they constantly talking about old times?

Some nostalgia may be normal after a lengthy relationship, but too much can indicate they’re still into you.

Someone who is constantly thinking about the past and voicing regrets about how things turned out, saying “we should have. . .” is likely regretting their choices.

Your ex may be bringing up old times to see how you react. They may be hoping that a positive reaction means you’re still interested too.

2) Contacting you for no reason

There are many reasons your ex may need to contact you, but if you start feeling like they are constantly reaching out for no good reason, it may be because they’re still interested.

Random texts asking for a recipe or sending you a funny meme are often signs your ex is attached to you.

Frequent contact from your ex shows that your opinion still matters, which is a clear indicator of attachment. This type of behavior also means your ex wants to come up with a reason to talk to you again.

3) Frequent accidental calls or texts

Everyone “butt-dials” or “drunk texts” sometimes, but if it’s happening over and over, it may be a sign of something else. This can mean that your ex can’t come up with a logical reason to call or text you but still wants to stay in contact.

This is particularly telling if these texts or calls come when your ex has had a little too much to drink. Once their inhibitions are loosened, you’re the first person they think of, and that means they’re still into you!

4) Dating someone who could be your twin

Did your ex start dating?

Take a close look at their chosen significant other. Are they quite a bit like you? If the new boyfriend or girlfriend feels like a carbon copy of you or has quite a few similarities with you, then the ex is still attached.

Sometimes people try to replace an item they love with something just like it. A new interest that is just like you can be an indicator that they’re still attached to you.

5) Not dating at all

On the flip side, if they aren’t jumping back out there, it’s another of the signs your ex is attached to you.

Of course, everyone needs a bit of time to get over a breakup, but if it’s been months or years and they’re still not open to dating, they might have a strong attachment.

If you’ve happily moved on, then you simply need to give them more time to work through their feelings. If you’re still having trouble moving on, consider revisiting the reason for your breakup.

6) Moving on too quickly

Another sign that your ex may still want to be with you is if they are moving on fast and furious. If they are dating many different people, but not really settling into a long-term relationship.

This can be a sign of continuing attachment because the ex wants someone to hang with, but isn’t willing to commit. Their feelings for you are simply too strong to let them take on a new girlfriend or boyfriend.

7) Jealousy-triggering actions

If their social media accounts are making you feel a bit jealous, it may be intentional.

If the posts they post clearly aim at making you feel jealous, there may be another motive behind the action. Don’t read too much into this, but pay attention to see if this could be the case.

The best way to deal with this is to simply stop looking. You don’t need to track your ex’s actions online. Ignore them, and the jealousy will subside.

8) Carrying on a conversation

If you live in the same community or run in the same social circles, chances are you’ll run into your ex on occasion. Do they stick around to chat, or do they leave quickly? Carrying on a conversation can show they’re still a bit attached.

The next time you have the chance to talk to your ex, see if they try to extend the conversation. Give short and sweet answers, and see if they try to dig for more. If they do, then it’s likely they want to spend more time with you.

9) Trying to be “just friends”

If your ex is still attached, they’re going to do all they can to maintain a relationship with you. If you’ve put up boundaries, then they’ll try to maintain a friendship.

It is possible for exes to remain friends. However, if your ex is working hard to make time for you, it may indicate something more.

If you are ready to be done with the relationship, then it is time to stop being friends. Hanging on to friendship means there is still attachment somewhere.

10) Strong emotions

Strong emotions for or against you are often a sign of attachment. These emotions can be positive or negative.

Strong loving emotions are a clear sign that your ex is still interested, but the same can be said if the emotions are bitter.

Even if your ex is ridiculously angry at you, if that anger is intense and without cause, it may mean they’re still just a little attached.

11) Won’t tie up loose ends

Does your ex still have a lot of items at your home or vise versa? Are they struggling to finalize the separation?

When there are loose ends to the relationship that they just won’t tie up, it may mean they’re still holding on.

12) Their friends keep coming around

While you were together, you may have made mutual friends. Sometimes a hard part of a breakup is stepping away from those friends.

Yet if those friends keep coming around, and if they hint about you getting back together, there may be a reason. Your ex may be asking them to feel your feelings.

Pay attention to your ex’s friends and what they talk to you about when you’re together. If they are dropping hints about how much your ex misses you or how good you were together, it may be because they want you back.

13) The new significant other hates you

Jealousy is common between a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the ex, but if your ex’s new significant other seems to have a larger-than-life hatred of you, it may be something more.

When someone is still attached, they often share far too much about the other person. It’s only natural for the new fling to feel some jealousy.

As the over-sharing continues, that jealousy can morph into an intense emotional reaction. If the hatred seems over-the-top, there might be a deeper reason.

14) Close contact with your friends and family

If your ex is staying close with your friends, you end to ask yourself why. Were you truly mutual friends while you were together, or is the ex simply trying to hold on to you through them?

Sometimes if a person is still attached to their ex, they will keep hanging out with their friends in hopes that their ex will show up. If you find your ex frequenting the same parties and social circles as you, it might be because they want you back.

The same can be true if they want to stay in contact with your family members. An ex who moves on won’t keep texting your sister or calling your parents. If that’s happening, then they’re still attached.

15) Your ex treats you exceptionally well

While sometimes an ex who is still attached will react negatively, other times they will start treating you exceptionally well.

If you’re getting showered with compliments, treating you with more respect than you’re used to, or even sending gifts, it may be because there are still intense feelings in place.

16) Talking about the future (with you)

You’ve broken up. You’re ready to move on. If your ex is still talking about or dreaming about a future that includes you in it, then they are probably still attached.

According to research from Harvard, people spend 80% of their time thinking about the future. If those thoughts include you, then your ex probably wants to get back together.

17) Remembering special occasions

Do you get a “happy birthday” message without fail from your ex? This may seem like a nice gesture, but it can also indicate that they’re still interested.

For this, you’ll need to evaluate whether your ex is going out of their way to send the greeting, or if they are just being nice.

If you separated on friendly terms, it may be nothing more than a greeting, but if it seems like they’re going out of their way to be nice, then you need to look more closely.

18) Sharing their heart

When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural for you to be the person that your ex opens up to.

However, when the relationship ends, that closeness should end too. Some people who are still attached will get their self-worth from that relationship, so they keep sharing their feelings.

If your ex is still opening up to you about their problems and feelings, they are likely still interested. If you are ready to move on, you will need to set some boundaries about this.

19) Following your social media

Is your ex the first person to like your post or comment on it? Does it feel like they follow everything you do online?

If you’ve set up clear boundaries, this may be the only way your ex can connect with you, and it can be a clear indication there is still interest there.

Social media also gives your ex a chance to test the waters to see if you might still be interested in a relationship. If you start responding, they can take it as a positive sign, so be careful in your interactions.

20) Your ex is still there for you

When something breaks, does your ex offer to come fix it? Does your ex provide resources when you have a need? First, you should ask why you are still reaching out to your ex, but this can be a sign that they still care about you.

Many people show their care through their actions. Helping you fix things, picking you up when your car breaks down, or even offering financial support when you face a tight spell can all indicate the ex still has strong feelings.

What to do when you notice signs your ex is attached to you

If your ex is still attached based on these signs, you need to make a decision. Are you ready to be done with the relationship, or are you interested in exploring it again?

If you are ready to be done, set clear, non-negotiable boundaries. If you are interested in getting back together, communicate those feelings and see where they go.

In the end, knowing whether your ex is still into you is important. You need to be able to have closure as you move forward with new relationships.

By watching for these signs your ex is attached to you, you can put up the right boundaries to help both of you move on after your breakup.

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If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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