It can be easy to ignore red flags while in a relationship.
Sometimes, once a person is your ex, you find out all the signs of them not being a good person.
Here are ten definite signs that your ex is an asshole.
1) They make you feel bad about yourself
A huge sign your ex is not a good person is when they have convinced you that you’re not good enough.
They may have told you that you’re ugly, that you don’t deserve love, or that you’re not smart enough.
If your ex has said these things to you, it’s likely that they still hold a grudge against you.
This can cause significant problems in your relationship. It can make it difficult for you to trust people again, and it can lead to fights.
The worst part?
Your ex was likely doing it for a reason.
They’re trying to make you question your worth and your value.
Your ex may also have been trying to make you feel bad about yourself in order to feel better about themselves.
If this is the case, it’s important that you don’t go back. It’s important that you don’t let them control your life again. They are just wasting your time.
You see, if your ex has said this, then it’s likely that they’re a manipulative person who will stop at nothing for their own personal gain.
They’ll try and get what they want by manipulating people around them.
2) They are always trying to find something to put you down or make you feel like a victim
Another sign that your ex is an asshole is when they seem to be constantly looking for ways to put you down.
They may have said things like “you’re not good enough” or “you’re ugly” in the past.
This can be a sign of their own insecurity.
If they are seeing you as a victim, and they are constantly putting you down, then this could be a sign that they don’t respect you.
It’s important to remember that no one respects someone who only sees themself as better than anyone or who is constantly putting people down.
If your ex has said things like this to you, then it’s likely that they think themselves better than others, and that people should look up to them.
They may try to create a wedge between you and friends or family members, make you feel like you’re always wrong, or even try to destroy your relationship.
You don’t have to put up with this type of behavior from your ex.
Make sure you don’t go back to this kind of behavior.
You see, if you want to regain trust and respect in your relationship, it’s important that you don’t go back to the behaviors of your ex.
It can be really hard to not feel insecure with this kind of behavior, though.
So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?
The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.
You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.
He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.
Because true empowerment needs to come from within.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.
So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.
3) They never help you out when things get tough
If your ex is an asshole, they will usually leave you in a bind.
They don’t always help you out when things get tough and this can lead to a lot of problems.
If you find yourself not being able to get help from your ex, then it’s important that you don’t go back to this behavior.
They may try and make you feel like you’re alone, but this is a tactic they use in order to take control of the situation.
It’s important that you don’t give them this power by letting them back in your life.
Think about it: They never stand up for what’s right or for what is best for the both of you, so it’s important that you don’t go back there.
4) They always want to control everything in your life
Your ex is an asshole if they usually seem to want to be in control of everything in your life.
They’ll try to make all the decisions for you, and they’ll often try to do it without your consent.
You see your ex is an asshole like that, it’s important that you don’t go back to their disrespectful behavior.
It’s important to remember that you can’t respect someone if you only see yourself as better than everyone else or who is constantly putting people down.
These people will often make fun of or devalue your feelings, even if you try to express them.
They’ll often put their own needs first, whether that means ignoring you or trying to control everything you do.
They’re often difficult to work with, and they won’t take no for an answer.
By controlling your life, they can be very unhealthy partners.
Think about it: They’ll tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and when not to do anything.
They don’t care about your feelings and they only see things from their own perspective.
They may not even be able to see anything from your perspective at all, which means that you will never know if they’re being honest with you.
You see, this type of behavior is very hurtful, and there’s no way that it’s healthy for either of you.
Plus, do you really want someone to control your life who only thinks about themself?
5) They make you feel insignificant and worthless
Your ex is an asshole if they make you feel like you’re not important or that you don’t matter.
They will often try to put other people before you in all aspects of your life, which makes you feel like you’re not valuable.
They will also sometimes try to make you feel worthless by saying negative things about how they think about you or what they think of your life.
You see, this type of behavior is very hurtful, and there’s no way that it’s healthy for either of you.
If your ex is not a good person, they will try to make you small and insignificant.
This can start to create a feeling of powerlessness and insecurity.
It’s no wonder, really, I mean if you constantly hear about how insignificant you are, it is bound to have an effect on you sooner or later.
Don’t let them change the way you view yourself!
You are worthy, no matter what they say, but I know that sometimes you might feel like you are insignificant and worthless if that’s what you keep hearing.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
When I felt the most lost in life, I was introduced to an unusual free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê, which focuses on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace.
My relationship was failing, I felt tense all the time. My self-esteem and confidence hit rock bottom. I’m sure you can relate – heartbreak does little to nourish the heart and soul.
I had nothing to lose, so I tried this free breathwork video, and the results were incredible.
But before we go any further, why am I telling you about this?
I’m a big believer in sharing – I want others to feel as empowered as I do. And, if it worked for me, it could help you too.
Secondly, Rudá hasn’t just created a bog-standard breathing exercise – he’s cleverly combined his many years of breathwork practice and shamanism to create this incredible flow – and it’s free to take part in.
Now, I don’t want to tell you too much because you need to experience this for yourself.
All I will say is that by the end of it, I felt peaceful and optimistic for the first time in a long time.
And let’s face it, we can all do with a feel-good boost during relationship struggles.
So, if you feel a disconnect with yourself due to your failing relationship, I’d recommend checking out Rudá’s free breathwork video. You might not be able to save your relationship, but you will stand a shot of saving yourself and your inner peace.
6) They don’t respect your boundaries or privacy
Your ex is an asshole if they don’t respect your boundaries or privacy.
They will always try to find out every detail about you and what you’re doing at all times.
They may even attempt to spy on your phone or email, and they will often try to look through your stuff without asking first.
These are just a few examples of the things that they do that can be very invasive and hurtful.
This type of behavior is very hurtful, and there’s no way that it’s healthy for either of you.
Plus, do you really want someone to invade your privacy? I mean, honestly… how does this benefit anyone?
They’ll often make you feel like they own you because of their constant questions about what you’re doing and where you’re doing it.
It’s important that you don’t go back to this behavior.
You see, if your ex is a jerk and they will constantly get in your business, then it’s important that you don’t go back there.
This is not healthy behavior and will only hurt you both down the line.
7) They never seem to have any remorse for what they’ve done
Many people try to make up for what they’ve done in the past
But if your ex never seems to have any regrets, it’s likely that they’re not a good person.
They may never apologize for anything they’ve done.
They might even try to justify it by saying that it was in the best interest of both of you.
But if you can see through their lies, you’ll know that this isn’t always the case.
You see, they may be quick to say whatever comes into their head without thinking about the consequences.
They may be dismissive of any and all emotions – whether that’s anger, sadness, or love.
If your ex is unwilling to work out any of their issues with you, then it’s time for you to move on.
Think about it: if they’re not willing to work through any of their issues, then there’s no reason for them to be in your life.
I mean, how are they supposed to grow and become a better person if they can’t even own up to their own mistakes?
They’ll always try to keep the focus off of them and onto you.
And that’s not all!
They will always try to make sure that everything is about them and to make sure they are seen as the victim in any given situation.
8) They cheat on you or flirt with other people
If your ex is a cheater, then it’s going to be hard for you to trust them again.
In my own experience, if they’re playing around with other people, then it’s important that you stay away from them.
You see, if they’re lying to you and flirting with other people – even behind your back – it’s a bad sign.
If they do this often, then there’s no reason for you to trust them again.
So if you find that your ex has been cheating on you, then it’s time for you to move on, they are not a good person.
You see, if they flirt with other people, it could be a way to attract attention or to make you feel like you’re not important.
Oftentimes, people cheat out of insecurity.
And if there’s any chance that they’re insecure – or that they’ve got something to hide – then it’s not a good sign.
You see, a person who is not an asshole will find healthy ways to cope with their insecurity.
9) They gaslight you
If your ex has a history of gaslighting you, it’s likely that they will try to do the same with anyone else because they aren’t a good person.
This can be difficult to deal with, as it can make you feel like you’re not in control of the situation.
Gaslighting is never a good thing.
You see, gaslighting is when a person makes you feel like you’re not entirely responsible for your own life, and that they have control over everything.
It can be very difficult to deal with this type of manipulation; it’s often subtle and hard to tell who’s doing the manipulating.
If you’re being gaslighted, it’s important to speak out about it so that the person can be made aware of their actions and stop hurting your feelings in order for both of your safety.
10) You’re always the bad guy
If your ex has a history of making you the bad guy, then it’s likely that they’re just not a good person.
In my own experience, I’ve seen many people who have been made responsible for everything that goes wrong by their exes.
They try to make you feel like you’re the bad guy and that you deserve nothing good in life.
It’s important to stand up to these types of individuals and let them know that they are not being a good person by making such negative statements about other people.
Never admitting when you’re the one at fault is a major red flag.
After hearing all of this, I’m sure you’re glad that your ex is not your partner anymore.
And you should be!
Wait to be with someone who is actually a nice person and wants the best for you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.