You’re wondering if the guy you’re dating actually cares about you.
Maybe you’ve just started dating or maybe you’ve been together for a while now, but it often feels like he doesn’t care about you.
He acts like being with you is a chore or he’s only there when he needs something from you.
You want to know how he really feels about you so that you can move forward, with or without him.
If you really mean nothing to him, it’s best you find out sooner than later so I’ve compiled a list of awful signs to look out for.
15 signs that you mean nothing to him
1) He’s passive-aggressive
Instead of telling you straight out when something upsets him, he acts in a passive-aggressive manner.
For example, he’ll avoid eye contact and when you ask him what’s bothering him he’ll shrug and say “nothing”.
Passive-aggressive behavior can be very frustrating because it’s indirect and ambiguous. You never really know what the other person is thinking or feeling.
Research has shown that people often stay in a relationship with a passive-aggressive partner for a long time before breaking up because they’re uncertain how their partner feels and are looking for validation that they’re liked and valued.
If he’s passive-aggressive often, it could be a sign that you mean nothing to him. It’s his way of showing you that he’s unhappy in the relationship without actually telling you.
Next time he acts like that, stand your ground and insist he tells you what’s the matter.
2) He’s avoiding you
The two of you used to be inseparable, but now, you hardly ever see him or talk to him.
- He’s never around.
- He doesn’t call or text you.
- He keeps postponing the plans you made together.
He says he’s busy with work but he has time to go out with his friends.
Why is he acting like that?
Well, he could be going through something that has nothing to do with you or he doesn’t care about you anymore.
You need to confront him about what he is thinking and feeling and try to understand if he’s avoiding you because of some personal issues or if there is something else going on.
Next time you speak to him, let him know how you feel. Tell him that your feelings are hurt and that you need some face time or he could lose you.
If he doesn’t make the effort to see you more often, it means that he doesn’t care.
Actions speak louder than words. By not acting, he’s telling you he’s not interested in spending time with you, otherwise, he’d make an effort.
3) He’s always angry with you
Everything you do seems to make him angry.
- He doesn’t want to be around you but won’t tell you why.
- He takes all of his frustrations out on you.
- He blames you for everything that goes wrong in his life.
If you try to defend yourself, he’ll shut down and walk away from the conversation.
Unfortunately, this is a sign that he’s unhappy and wants out of the relationship.
It’s not your fault, you’re not doing anything wrong.
He feels trapped because he doesn’t know how to end the relationship and he takes it out on you.
Next time he gets mad at you, say “I’m sorry”, show him that you care and ask him if there’s anything you can do to make his life better.
If he doesn’t say anything, then it’s definitely a sign that he doesn’t care about the relationship anymore.
4) He’s distant and unavailable
When you are together he seems miles away.
- He’s distant.
- He’s not very interested in talking or spending time with you.
- He doesn’t initiate contact.
- He seems tired and withdrawn.
When you’re talking to him, he doesn’t make eye contact. He’s distracted and it seems like his mind is somewhere else.
When you ask him if everything is okay, he tells you that everything’s fine and changes the subject.
He’s talkative and happy when other people are around but when it’s just the two of you, he suddenly goes quiet.
What do these signs mean? Well, they could mean that he is losing interest.
If he’s pulling away, it’s usually a sign that the relationship is over. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore and doesn’t know how to tell you.
If he isn’t really interested in being with you, you should end the relationship as soon as possible. Why waste your time with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
5) He’s rude to you
He’s dismissive and rude to you all the time and comes across as disrespectful. Your opinion doesn’t matter and he treats you like dirt.
If he’s rude and treats you poorly a lot of the time, it could be a sign that he doesn’t care about you anymore or he just isn’t interested in spending time with you.
If you’re with a person who treats you that way, then it’s best to walk away. That’s not a relationship that is sustainable in any way or form.
You deserve to be with someone who treats you with the utmost respect and is always there for you, who puts your needs first because that’s what real love is.
6) He’s secretive all of a sudden
He’s always had a private life and you accepted it, but then he suddenly becomes secretive and won’t tell you anything about his day or how he spends his time.
- He goes out on the weekend with friends but doesn’t invite you to join him.
- He’s lying about what he does during the day and who he hangs out with.
When a man is in love with you he has no secrets from you.
He might not tell you everything that’s going on in his life, but he will tell you enough to show you that he cares about you and doesn’t want to hide what’s going on in his life from you.
When he’s secretive about small, insignificant things it could be that he has a hard time showing his vulnerable, weak side to you and won’t tell you about his struggles because he’s afraid that you’ll reject him or hurt him.
On the other hand, if he’s secretive and deceitful about something more significant, then it could be a sign of something more serious.
7) He only calls you when he’s bored
Have you noticed that lately, the only time he remembers to call you is when he’s bored?
He knows that you’re around, so why doesn’t he make the effort to keep in touch more often?
In the beginning, he couldn’t get enough of you and called you all the time. No matter how busy he was, he always made time for you.
Now, it seems that he only wants to see you when he has nothing better to do.
This could be a sign that he’s losing interest in you and doesn’t care about you anymore.
You should never be just a distraction. You deserve more than that.
If you’re not his priority, then should never be yours.
Simply put, if he’s too busy for you, then it’s best if you break up with him.
8) He forgets important dates
When you first started dating, he made such an effort to remember all of your important dates and occasions and now he forgets everything.
- First, he forgets your anniversary.
- Then, he forgets your birthday.
What’s more, he doesn’t seem to feel bad about it or try to make it up to you.
You don’t get flowers or presents anymore because he’s too busy for that. It’s like he takes it for granted that you’ll never leave and he doesn’t have to make an effort anymore.
These are clear signs that you mean nothing to him.
9) He makes you feel bad about yourself
If he constantly makes you feel bad about how you look or criticizes how you do something, that’s never good.
If he enjoys making you feel worthless then there’s something wrong with him. You need to confront him about this and try to understand what he could possibly be thinking.
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who treats you like trash.
If he keeps calling you fat or ugly or tells you that you’re useless at everything you do, then it’s best for you to end this toxic relationship ASAP!
10) He doesn’t listen to you
Has he stopped listening to you?
Do you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall?
Does he always seem to have the answer, even if you’re not asking anything?
If a guy doesn’t listen to what you have to say or doesn’t think that your opinion matters then he doesn’t respect you as a human being.
You should be with someone who respects your opinion and listens to what you have to say instead of just talking down to you all the time.
11) He doesn’t make an effort with the people you love
You go out of your way to be nice to his friends and get them to like you.
You take an interest in his family and are nothing but sweet and polite with his parents.
He’s never interested in doing the same for you.
He doesn’t like your family or friends and simply can’t stand spending time with them. He thinks that they’re boring and stupid.
If he can’t make an effort to get along with your friends and family, the people who matter most to you, then he doesn’t really care about you.
He’s selfish and self-centered and doesn’t care about anyone except himself.
12) The things you loved doing together no longer interest him
He really used to enjoy the things that you did together but now it seems like they’ve become boring or irritating.
This could be a sign that he’s lost interest and that you no longer mean anything to him.
Think about it:
- Suddenly, the farmers’ market is a chore.
- Cycling is boring.
- The movie you chose isn’t sophisticated enough for his taste.
- Going to dinner at a restaurant is a waste of money.
If this is something that keeps cropping up then it’s clear as day, he’s no longer into you.
13) He doesn’t discuss the future
If your significant other avoids making plans about the future it could be that they don’t see a future with you.
You don’t have to plan out the rest of your lives. Maybe you’re still figuring out your relationship.
It’s normal for two people in a relationship to make plans about upcoming holidays and weekend getaways.
If he doesn’t even want to talk about stuff you could do together in the next few months then this could be a sign that he already knows that he doesn’t want to be in this relationship.
14) He’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
One minute he’s hot the next he’s cold.
His mood changes from one minute to the next for no reason. Just when you think everything is going well and you can relax and enjoy his company he goes cold or becomes irritable and angry.
It’s hard to be with someone who fluctuates through the highs and lows of their emotions.
If there is no medical reason such as anxiety or depression, and no external factors that would cause such behavior, it’s probably a sign that he’s not sure whether he wants to be with you or not.
15) He’s selfish
If he’s only thinking about himself and never thinks about you, you are definitely in a relationship that won’t last long.
In order for a relationship to be successful, you need to take into account the other person’s feelings and think about their happiness.
There should be no competition or jealousy between you.
If your partner’s only concerned about himself and doesn’t care about your feelings, then why stay with him? He obviously doesn’t care about you.
If you’ve checked some of the signs above then you’ve probably come to the conclusion that you mean nothing to him.
You need to end the relationship and move on.
5 ways to move forward from a bad relationship
1) Do things that make you feel good about yourself
It’s time to show yourself some TLC.
If your breakup has left you feeling bad and worthless you need to remember that you are an awesome, amazing goddess and anyone would be lucky to be with you.
You don’t need him or anyone else to make you happy, you can do that yourself.
Go out and do something fun.
- Spend a crazy amount of money on shoes.
- Indulge yourself in ice cream.
- Go see that new blockbuster movie with your friends.
Use your time wisely, don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Make an effort and you’ll be happy again.
2) Surround yourself with good people
Avoid negative situations, people who bring you down, and bad relationships. Instead, surround yourself with positive people and experiences.
Spend more time with your closest friends. Call your grandparents more often. Go down and spend the weekend with your folks.
3) Get a new hobby
One of the best ways to get over a bad relationship is to stay busy.
Find a hobby that makes you feel good or gives you a sense of accomplishment. Take up pottery or go rock-climbing.
Do things that help build your self-esteem and confidence.
4) Don’t try to keep the relationship going
If you want to end a relationship, do it. Don’t be afraid to make the decision by yourself. If you don’t want to be with him anymore, that’s your choice and decision, not his.
If the relationship was a bad one then why try to keep it going? He doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t think that you’re worth the effort while at the same time he’s thinking of dating another girl. You deserve better than that!
5) Don’t be scared to be alone
You might feel afraid that you won’t find anyone else. Don’t be. You’re going to meet many people and that’s the best thing that could happen to you right now.
Remember, the person best suited for you will be on their way to meet you right now.
Until then, know that it’s okay to be by yourself. Enjoy your freedom and your own company.
So, by now you should know what signs to look out for to know that you mean nothing to him.
I know it’s not an easy thing to find out but now you can move on with your life.
If you find yourself stuck in a relationship that’s not good for you then make a plan to get out fast.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or worthless. You are beautiful, smart, and worth fighting for.
You deserve to be happy and to find someone who will appreciate you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.