If you’re looking for a definitive answer to the endlessly debated question of whether or not your relationship is over, this is it.
The truth is, there’s no foolproof way to know.
However, there are some signs that indicate your relationship might be over for good, or you’re just in a rough patch.
8 signs you’ve lost him forever
1) The breakup was awful
You met this guy, liked each other, spent some time together, and then one day he just told you it wouldn’t work out.
Maybe it was a fight, maybe you were too different, maybe he felt like you weren’t right for him.
Whatever it was, if your breakup was painful, chances are he doesn’t think of the relationship as a positive experience. If the breakup was terrible enough that he doesn’t want to talk about it because of how hard it was and how much he’d like to forget it ever happened, well, that’s a pretty strong sign.
It’s hard to get over something that left such a bad taste in your mouth.
2) He cut you off from his contacts
Perhaps the end of the relationship left you feeling like you were utterly alone and that nobody would even remember your name.
Or maybe he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s been with you, or about his breakup with you.
Guess what? He wants to keep it like a big secret and thinks of you as a dark mark on his record: revealing the existence of his previous relationships is in his mind is an unforgivable transgression against “the code” (as we call it among our friends).
When he blocked you from his contacts, even from his social media, he was sending you a message that he wanted to get rid of everything that may connect to you. As far as he’s concerned, you’re a mistake he’s trying to erase from his life and history.
If that happens, he’s not coming back. Wherever he is now, it’ll be somewhere far away from you.
3) He doesn’t respond to your texts or calls
This is probably the most common sign that one relationship is over as you’re not even sure if he’s ignored your messages and calls on purpose or just forgot.
Of course, there’s always the chance that he was busy and got distracted, but it’s more likely that he just didn’t want to answer you. Maybe he was mad at you, or maybe he isn’t interested enough in the relationship to give you a callback.
But the sad truth? He doesn’t want to talk to you ever again.
That’s literally why he didn’t reply to anything and ghosted you. He’s avoiding your calls and messages on purpose as he doesn’t want to be reminded of that part of his life ever again.
This is pretty telling. He is on his way to forgetting everything about you, so he’s not going to talk to you ever again.
4) He disappeared suddenly
Maybe this one is pretty obvious but sometimes we don’t want to accept it.
If you were with a guy and then, out of the blue, he just disappeared in your life without any notice, chances are he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Ghosting is a common practice today, and it means that the person who did it doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore.
A study entitled Ghosting in Emerging Adults’ Romantic Relationships found that among the respondents, 29% had ghosted the people they had dated, and 25% had ghosted their dates themselves. Also from this study, a surprising 74% of the respondents said they thought that ghosting was an appropriate way to end a relationship.
If he didn’t give you any warning signs, he was never interested in the first place and you’ve lost him forever.
5) He is already seeing someone else
If he broke up with you and then started seeing someone else shortly afterward, there’s a pretty big chance that he was just trying to get over you.
It doesn’t matter whether that new person is currently his girlfriend or only a casual fling; the fact that he moved on quickly means he completely doesn’t want in being your boyfriend anymore.
This could be just a rebound, but it could also mean that he’s finally moved on and is ready to be in a relationship with someone else.
If this has already happened once or twice, you’ve lost him forever because there’s no way he’d be willing to be in a relationship with someone who’s holding on to the past. He’ll just see your selfishness and jump straight into another romance.
Maybe he didn’t want to know that you existed so he just wanted to forget about you.
Or maybe he wanted to forget everything that happened and your breakup was the easiest way for him to do it.
No matter what, this is definitely a sign that one relationship is over.
6) He blames you for the breakup
If, after your breakup, your ex started to put the blame on you and explain why the relationship didn’t work and how it was all your fault, it’s an indication that he won’t ever would want to get back together with you again.
The truth is, if he’s blaming you for everything that happened and makes you feel like it was all your fault, he just doesn’t see a future with you.
It’s pretty easy to blame someone else, to point the finger at them instead of looking inside yourself and assessing what went wrong in your own relationship.
The only thing that matters is the fact that the breakup happened because, from your ex’s perspective, the relationship shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
Of course, people can be in denial after a breakup and need some time to come to terms with it.
But if he’s already blaming you for his choice, he’s shutting down any chance of forgiveness. He doesn’t blame himself, but he blames you for his actions and how he broke up with you.
It’s a bit unfair and unfair treatment is usually the last thing that someone wants to deal with.
If your ex-boyfriend is being this petty towards you, it’s definitely over.
7) He finds every excuse not to be with you again
There are situations where you don’t want to meet up with your ex.
Sometimes, people are just not right for each other, and one of the partners knows it. Those are clear breakups and they can turn into friendships or nothing at all. However, if you’re in this kind of relationship where your ex-boyfriend doesn’t want to see you anymore at all, it’s just a blatant sign that you’ve certainly lost him forever.
It doesn’t matter if he has an excuse or not; if he’s doing the same thing over and over again and declines every chance that the two of you have to meet, since, maybe you’ve got mutual friends or work at the same company, there’s a pretty big risk that he means what he acts.
It doesn’t matter if he’s just not ready to see you yet; if he goes back on his words every time and keeps putting up excuses every time you want to see him, then there’s a chance that he’s started to push you away.
8) He thinks the relationship was toxic
The truth is, some relationships are just bad and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with one partner instead of the other. It could be that the two of you weren’t compatible because you didn’t have anything in common, or because you had completely different goals in life.
When a relationship ends, it can feel like it really was your fault and that everything that happened was at your expense. This means that there’s also a possibility that he thinks the relationship was toxic.
One of you may have been very controlling, or you may have been very insecure. If he thinks that the relationship wasn’t healthy, that it was unhealthy for either of you, chances are, he wants to get out of the situation as soon as possible.
It could be that the two of you just weren’t compatible or maybe it was a toxic relationship in which one partner tried to destroy the other instead of making it work.
8 signs you haven’t
1) He just needs a little break and space
This is what I’ve learned when I consulted a relationship coach from Relationship Hero. It wasn’t long ago when I felt like my boyfriend was considering to breaking up with me. But he was also very clingy and wouldn’t leave me alone.
I found myself talking less and less, trying to get him to go away from me during our conversations. It felt like I was losing my mind but I didn’t know what to do.
Just when I thought I’m gonna lose him, the coach told me to give my boyfriend time for himself to figure things out, and other advice that really helped me. I finally realized that I was the one making things worse by trying to change him and trying to control him.
And there’s a good chance that he’s discouraged from you as well. If he wants space, he’ll ask for it and give you a little break as well.
If you give him some time away from each other, both of you are going to be able to find each other again.
All of these and more related questions can be answered with the relationship experts of Relationship Hero, so if you want to talk to an expert, click here to get started.
2) You feel his presence on your social media
If you’re not seeing him, but it still feels like he’s with you, this is a good sign that there’s still hope for your relationship.
Try to notice how he reacts to your posts online, how he comments on them, how he interacts with you.
If you still see him and he’s acting like the same boyfriend you had before, he’s probably just trying to make a change. The hardest part is letting him know that this change is something that you want.
The way he shows that he still wants to know what’s going on with your life is to watch your social media and follow you off it. He’ll do his best to keep up with what you do and when the right time comes, the two of you will be able to find each other again.
3) There’s no real anger in the relationship anymore
A relationship is full of different emotions: excitement, thrill, anger, jealousy, hate and so on.
For example, a breakup can bring out all feelings like anger and frustration inside of both of you and lead to a lot of fights.
If he’s been able to calm down in his emotions, there’s definitely hope for you both. It doesn’t mean that he’s done with you or that he won’t be angry, but it’s a good sign that he doesn’t want any more fights and that this breakup is just temporary.
It can bring out a lot of reasons why you should stay together and make both of you think about why you ended up together.
Since the both of you, especially him, have calmed down and changed a lot, there’s a possibility that you’ll be able to find your way back to each other.
4) He misses the good times
What happens is that people tend to miss what they had and when they look at their relationship, they do so with nostalgia.
There are always good times in a relationship, but he needs to remember them because it’s going to make him think that the good times are worth fighting for.
If he remembers all of the good times, he’ll be able to recognize them while you’re trying to get back together.
How will you know that he misses you? Well, he’s going to start talking to you again. If the two of you could talk at all during the breakup, he’s definitely going to make an effort if he misses you.
It could be that he just wants to make some sense of what’s happening in his life.
5) He’s trying to be rational
Being rational is another good sign that there’s hope for your relationship.
If he knows what he wants, there’s nothing you could do to change the fact that he wants you in his life.
It could be that he reanalyzed everything and found out what was wrong all along. Most people will think that they know what they want, but then a breakup comes and makes them think again, causing them to change their minds. Being rational doesn’t mean that he’s going to take you back really soon, it just means that he’s making sense of what happened.
He can become irrational again and start acting out of spite. But if at the end of the day, he’s thinking with reason, it’s a good sign that he wants to be with you again.
6) He values your friendship
When he acts out of spite, he feels bad and remembers what he had before the breakup.
He misses you because not only are you a good friend, but also a good partner in crime. He misses having someone to watch movies with and talk about random things that happen in his day.
This is why he’ll be subtly active in trying to get back with you. In his mind, being your friend is much better than being your partner immediately after the breakup.
Friendship will help him tune in to what’s left of the relationship and it’ll be easier for both of you to figure out if you’re a good fit again.
You should notice this by how he acts around you, but also by his behavior. If he tries to talk about the past, there’s still hope for your future together and if he mentions that he misses you as a friend, it means that he’s trying to make sense of things.
The two of you can work this out because a friendship is something that he’ll never be able to get back if it’s gone. What he values in you is a good friend and if you’re willing to work with him, you haven’t really lost him.
7) He’s trying to fix his mistakes
He’s trying to fix his problems and mistakes. If he didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t care about fixing himself.
He would just keep making the same mistakes and never try to fix them. You see, when he realizes that he needs to strengthen his relationship, he’ll make a conscious effort at it.
If you were friends before the breakup, then you know what kind of person he is when the two of you aren’t together. He tries to help others in their relationships but then he doesn’t want to help them with his.
If you were never anything, then it would be easier for him to just forget about you. But because he was your friend, he wants to make sure that he does better and that you’re happy.
He’s just on his way to fix himself and will try to get better, sending hints that you haven’t lost him.
8) Your friends are encouraging you to get back together
Here’s something interesting:
Your friends encourage you to get back together since they know what kind of person he is.
They know that it’s not the man but just some sort of mistake for both of you and why the relationship ended. They know that you two will work through the problems and that there’s a possibility for a future together, so they’re trying to bring both of you closer.
If they see that you’re still angry and that he’s not really trying to get back together, they’ll might have to talk some sense into you. They want to see you together because it’s the best thing for both of you.
They can tell that there’s something between the two of you and they don’t want to see the two of you unhappy. It could be that your friends know about the good times that you had or that they’ve seen what kind of person he is when it comes to relationships.
How to get him back for good
A former relationship is full of different emotions, but if he’s willing to work with you, you should also be willing to work with him.
If you think that there’s a chance for the two of you, the two of you make sure that it happens. But, you could also take matters into your hands and listen to dating expert and “relationship geek” Brad Browning – he has helped hundreds of people to get back with their ex successfully.
In this free video, he will share with you effective ways to make it work with your ex again, the most common mistakes men and women commit when trying to get their ex back, and answer the questions you have in mind.
He will also share with you the secrets of getting an ex back. So, avoid making further mistakes and instead, use them to your advantage through his help.
If you’re up for this, click to see his video here.
Yes, the breakup was inevitable, but after reading the articles, have you lost him forever?
Could be a no, could be a yes! The important thing is that you’re always on check with your emotions and your feelings.
You need to have a clear mind, calmly and objectively evaluate all the things in your relationship as well as in your life.
It’s not good to go through life with a blindfold on, but it’s also not good to ignore all the problems lurking in the background.
That’s why you should learn how to deal with your emotions and use them wisely.
You’re in control of whether your relationship works or not and can only hope that it’ll all turn out well at the end.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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