15 signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

You’re here because you’re worried that you’re wasting your time trying to get back your ex.

Before we begin, I just want to say that I feel your pain. This is a really confusing situation to be in.

I’ve been there myself, and I have an important message to share with you in this article.

To get us started, I’m going to share with you 15 important signs that you are, in fact, wasting time trying to get back your ex.

And then I’ll share some advice on how to move on properly from the relationship.

15 signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back

1) They stop flirting with you

When you first met, there was a lot of flirting and sexual tension which led to the feelings of attraction and love.

If your ex no longer flirts with you, it could be because they’re not interested in the relationship anymore or they’re moving on with someone else.

2) They no longer ask personal questions

Usually, we ask personal questions to find out the compatibility of our personalities.

If they no longer ask you these important questions, it could mean that they’re not interested in finding out about you.

3) They don’t seek advice from you anymore

When you first met, you were a shoulder for them to lean on and if they no longer need your help, that could mean that they’ve found someone else who can help them through tough times or someone who can fill the void in their lives that you once did.

If they’re seeking your advice because of the influence you have over them and how much they still need your help, then this may be a sign that they haven’t moved on yet and still want to be in the relationship with you but aren’t ready to commit yet.

4) They begin to avoid talking about the relationship, past or present

They’re trying to avoid discussions that can lead to a conflict and if they’re not ready for a fight, they’ll avoid it. It’s clear that for them, the discussions are not worth the trouble.

Later on, this might make you feel like being friend-zoned.

Putting an affection in a romantic way into a friend-zoned relationship with your ex is a total waste of time.

5) They gradually stop texting you

You feel like they’re holding back on you, either because they’re afraid of hurting your feelings or because they have something else going on but aren’t telling you about it yet.

They became less curious  about you and started to become more distant.

To be the only one who keeps on making attempts, you will feel lonely and your self-esteem can suffer.

6) They don’t respond to your texts or calls

Their enthusiasm for you and your relationship has faded. They stop returning your texts or calls as if their mind is already set on something or someone else and don’t want anything distracting them from it.

You notice that they start to act more distant or cold towards you or even with a lack of interest in talking to you.

7) They respond to your texts and calls in a nice and friendly way

If your ex is someone who doesn’t want to hurt people’s feelings, they’ll still text you back and be nice.

They won’t ignore you or make a big deal out of your texts and calls.

If they are someone who is just interested in the physical aspect of a relationship, this can give you a clue that they’re not serious about the relationship but may still be interested in being friends.

8) They stop talking to their friends about you

Usually, we talk about our exes with our friends because it’s fun and we want them to know how great of a person we are and how great we treated them in the relationship.

If they stop talking about their exes with their friends, it could mean that they’re not interested in finding out about the relationship anymore.

9) They don’t spend time with you even though they’re available

They don’t spend time with you even though they are not busy with anything else.

They’re not avoiding you, they just don’t want to hang out with you anymore.

When someone is obviously uninterested in you, it’s best to move on to make room for new people who care about you.

10) They avoid talking about you or bring up your past and talk about other topics instead

You notice that they start not only avoiding talking about you but also avoid mentioning other topics that could lead to a discussion of the relationship or past life events. They may even start avoiding discussing them in front of their friends or family members.

They’re trying not to bring up memories that could cause them stress or upset them and start avoiding talking about them altogether which can indicate how serious they are in ending it for good.

11) You discover your ex has new friends or other interests

If you find out that your ex has been spending time with other people and doing things that are outside of the relationship, this could be another sign that there is some sort of conflict between them and you.

They may have found someone else to spend their time with or started an interest in something new because it’s easier than dealing with you and the relationship.

This is an important sign because if there is no conflict between you, then there probably isn’t anything wrong with the relationship but if there is a problem, this could be another clue as to whether or not it’s worth giving them another chance or moving on completely.

12) They start to act distant or cold towards you or even with a lack of interest in talking to you

This can be because they have something going on that’s important to them and don’t want to talk about it yet, but it could also be because they don’t think the relationship is worth continuing on with.

13) You start to feel like they’re giving you the cold shoulder and not approaching you as much as they used to

You don’t know if this is because they’re avoiding talking to you or because they no longer want the relationship anymore, but it’s enough of a reason for you to leave them alone. It’s not worth it trying to get your ex back.

When someone doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it’s best to avoid them until they tell you that they do still want the relationship, as this can make it seem like it’s your fault and that your ex is angry at you for continuing on without them.

14) You start to feel more alone than ever before because they’re not there for support when things aren’t going well in your life

They are no longer there when you need help or support and you’re starting to feel like you’re on your own again.

If you notice that your ex is no longer there for you, it’s best to avoid them until they start spending time with you again.

15) They’re only interested in hanging out with you when they want to

They’ve started to only hang out with you when they want to and definitely not because they want to spend time with you.

This will make you feel like an object who’s being used as a means of entertainment, rather than someone who’s important in their lives or someone they care about.

Don’t lose your time with someone who treats you this way. Relationships are more fun and meaningful when both sides show the same level of interest.

What to do when it’s time to move on

If the above signs are relatable to your situation, it’s time to move on.

Relationships aren’t a waste of time if you know when to walk away. 

Relationships are one of the best ways to reflect and to learn about ourselves. If you take time to reflect and look at it from different perspectives, you can always learn to love and to choose a partner better.

Not knowing where you stand with your ex can waste your time and can have negative affects on your mental health :

  • You’re constantly checking your phone to see if they’ve texted you.
  • You find yourself constantly looking at their social media profiles and who they’re spending time with.
  • You hold yourself back from moving on.
  • You start to doubt your self-worth.
  • You feel lonely and like a failure.
  • You start to lose your self-confidence and confidence in yourself.
  • You begin to compare yourself to other people and you end up feeling worse than you did before.
  • You’re having trouble getting your life back on track.

The list goes on and on…

Breakups are never easy. But they’re a necessary part of life and how we grow and learn.

Breakups happen when you realize that the person you’re with isn’t right for you, or when they don’t want to be with you anymore.

To some, breakups can feel like the end of the world because not only are you losing your partner but also your best friend.

You lose a sense of who you are and it takes time to find yourself again.

It’s not an easy process, but if you stay strong and have patience, eventually things will get better.

It’s never easy for anyone to accept that the relationship with someone you love is over but trust me it’s best to get over the relationship that doesn’t serve you and refocus on other things or people that bring you happiness.

You deserve someone else that you care about and who reciprocates your affection. If you’re constantly giving, you should expect the same from your partner. This will help you feel less alone and give you more meaning in what life has to offer and will also help boost your confidence as well.

Some people find it hard to move on because they think that they’ll never be able to find anyone better than their ex again.

But life always surprises you, doesn’t it? Remember that everyone is unique and everyone has different experiences, interests and values, so there will always be someone who are more compatible out there for you in the future.

When you know what you want, you will thank your past relationships for making you realize what makes you happy and at peace. The moment the right person comes along, these hurtful experiences from failed relationships will no longer have power over you.

So keep your chin up. You are worthy of someone who makes you feel special and loved.

It’s ok if you’re afraid of being alone. But trust me, you’re never alone.

When you’re not in a relationship, you have the chance to realize what you want out of life and be able to make important decisions. You also have the chance to learn and grow as a person on your own which is one of the best things ever.

You will find the right person when it’s meant to be. Relationships are always worth waiting for and they bring us so much happiness and can help us grow into better people as well.

Don’t let fear stop you from experiencing love when it’s right in front of your eyes. It’s not easy but if you just try, it will happen eventually and then you’ll know that all the hard work was worth it after all.

What to do when it’s time to stay

If none of these signs apply to your situation and they’re not giving any clear indication of what they want or don’t want, then it’s best to wait until they say something first because this will make it easier for them to tell if their feelings have changed or not.

If you keep on assuming things and thinking that they’re not interested, it’s only going to make things more difficult for both of you.

This will make it harder for them to tell if they’re interested in you or not, so it’s best to wait until they say something first before making any assumptions.

And in case you don’t want to wait, then just move on and focus on yourself by spending time with friends, family members and other people who bring happiness into your life.

It’s never easy but it’s worth the effort because it’ll definitely help boost your self-esteem and confidence in the future.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.