Did you mess up in your relationship?
If you are thinking about whether or not your girlfriend will ever forgive you and maybe even take things back to normal again, I’ll be honest, there is a chance that she won’t.
But there are some signs that she will forgive you and some signs that show you’ve lost her forever, so let’s take a look at them:
She doesn’t call or text the way she used to
If she was a frequent texter in general but has now started to just not respond as often, this is a bad sign.
If she is showing signs of wanting to end the relationship, but she is also pulling back on communication, she is probably just trying to let you down easily, but she is not doing a very good job of it.
And the worst part?
If she is just not talking to you at all and even ignoring your texts, she is trying to end it without having to put herself out there and say the words out loud.
Definitely not a good sign and is definitely a sign that she will not forgive you.
You need to talk to her before the silence makes her love for you disappear forever.
However, I want to mention at this point that this only applies if you are already well into the healing process.
You see, at the very beginning, your girlfriend needs to digest what happened, and a big part of that will be needing some space from you.
So, if she isn’t very responsive in the first few weeks after finding out whatever it is you need her to forgive you for, don’t take it as a bad sign yet.
Instead, give her the time and space she needs.
Don’t call her or try to message her, especially not mad, and don’t say anything to her about it.
If you do, you will just make things worse, and she will be even less likely to forgive you.
When she is ready to talk, she will reach out to you.
For now, just sit tight and trust that everything will be alright in the end. You can send her a sweet message that will make her feel loved, but that’s it.
If that doesn’t happen and instead the silence continues for weeks on end, it’s a sign that she is not going to forgive you at all.
However, if she does come around after a few weeks of not talking or texting with you at all, then there is still hope for your relationship.
She has trust issues and is second-guessing you
If she just can’t seem to shake the fact that you hurt her and she doesn’t trust you anymore, you are in a very bad position.
Trust is a very big part of a relationship. If you don’t have it, you will never have a successful relationship.
If she doesn’t trust you like she used to, she will always second-guess you and your decisions.
You will never be able to just let loose and be yourself.
You will always be walking on eggshells to make sure you don’t push her buttons again.
Now: you might think that if she doesn’t trust you, she certainly won’t ever forgive you.
However, you broke her trust and it will take time for that to heal.
Whether you are willing to put in the work to heal that trust will show whether or not you even deserve her forgiveness!
If you want to save your relationship, you need to show her that you have changed.
You need to make her trust you again by proving to her that you are sincere and honest.
You need to prove to her that you are different now. You need to put in the effort to re-earn her trust again. You need to put in the effort to rebuild the trust in your relationship again.
Now: this will look different for every couple.
Some girls will want to check your phone, to make sure you aren’t still talking to other girls.
Some girls will want you to go to counseling with them so they can feel comfortable with you again.
Some girls will need time away from you, so they can heal and rebuild the trust in their own relationship with themselves.
Some girls will just need time and space. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, but there are some steps that all couples should take when rebuilding trust:
Talk to her about what she needs to feel safe with you again
This is a big one. Again, this will look different for everyone, but when you have a conversation with her about what you can do to make her feel safe again, you have to mean it.
You need to be sincere. You need to listen to what she needs from you and follow through with it.
If she wants you to go to counseling with her, then go with her. If she wants you to give her space and time, then do that too.
No matter what she says, listen and take seriously what she says that will make her feel safe again.
Don’t try and talk your way out of it or say that there is no hope for your relationship if you aren’t willing to put in the effort for this part!
Be willing to fight for your relationship, otherwise, you don’t deserve her, anyways!
Don’t give her the slightest reason to doubt you
This should be a no-brainer, but while you are rebuilding trust, you need to make sure that you are not giving her any reason to doubt you.
This is not the time to make new female friends or talk about a celebrity crush of yours.
Don’t give her the slightest doubt about your trustworthiness!
Make sure she knows that it was a mistake and that it will never happen again!
Prove her wrong
Whenever she is triggered by something, prove her wrong and show her that you are trustworthy again.
Over time, these incidences will build up and she will learn that her triggers are more in her own mind and that you have proven again and again that there is no danger here.
If you really want to rebuild trust in your relationship, then prove her wrong and make her feel safe again!
This will take time, but if you are willing to put in the effort to rebuild trust in your relationship again, then it is possible!
Talk to a relationship coach
While this article will shed light on the main signs that she will or will not forgive you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like rebuilding trust.
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
Things still feel cold between you two
Do things between you two just not feel the same anymore?
Does it feel like you are just going through the motions? Does it feel like a chore to be with her?
If so, then you need to seriously consider that she will never forgive you.
This is not an easy thing to do. You need to take your time and let her heal.
You need to let her rebuild her trust in you again.
If you two just don’t have that spark anymore, or if you don’t have those good feelings towards her anymore, then you will feel like you will never be able to fix things.
Now: if that goes on for months, you two just won’t be able to go back to normal. You will just have to break up: it’s just not going to happen.
However, again, don’t use these signs in the first few weeks, as everything will be out of whack, then.
She will be colder towards you and things won’t feel like they used to.
If that persists even after months of trying to earn her forgiveness, then it’s likely just not gonna happen, sorry.
However, in the first few weeks or months, you will have to be there for her regardless. This could be her way of testing if you are seriously committed this time around.
You will have to be there for her and show that you are committed to making it work.
She will test you, and you need to pass all of these tests.
Think about it: if she can’t trust you, then there won’t be a future for the two of you anymore.
She is not giving you much attention anymore and hangs out with other people more
You notice that she is just not giving you as much attention anymore.
Maybe she is spending more time with her friends again and she is hanging out with other people more.
This is a very bad sign for your relationship if it goes on for months.
If she is spending less time with you and more time with her friends again, she might be just trying to end your relationship without having to say it out loud.
She is just trying to let you down easily but just not giving you as much attention anymore.
If you want to save your relationship, you need to talk to her as soon as possible and stop her from disappearing from you.
Simply put, you need to talk to her and prove to her that you want to be with her.
You need to make her see that she is the only one you want to be with.
Now: as with pretty much all of my points here, don’t take this as a bad sign if it happens in the first few weeks after finding out about what you did.
You see, at that time, it is completely normal that she needs some space and wants to spend time with people she can trust (and that’s not you right now, sorry).
But if this goes on for months and she just completely disappears from your life, then there is no chance for you two anymore.
You have fights over small stuff that isn’t important
If you keep fighting over small things that don’t really matter, she will likely never forgive you.
You see, when you two keep fighting over trivial things, she will never be able to forgive you and uses those fights as an outlet for her anger.
If you want to save your relationship, you need to be there for her during her time of need and show her that you care by understanding her.
You need to show her that she can trust you again.
But frankly, if you keep fighting over small things, she will never be able to forgive you and she will be more likely to break up with you.
And at that point, it might be healthier to end things before you both get even more miserable!
She is trying to talk about her triggers
If she is trying to talk about the things that hurt her, then she is trying to work through her feelings.
Simply put, she is trying to work through her triggers.
The good news?
If she is trying to work through her triggers, she will most likely at some point, forgive you.
She is at least not over it yet and the breakup and she is still trying to make things right.
You see when a girl is trying to work through her triggers, she is at least trying to forgive you.
You just need to be patient and let her take her time.
You need to give her time to work through her feelings and let her heal.
Turns out you need to let her know that you understand how she feels, but also let her know that you are working on yourself too.
It’s quite simple: you need to let her know that you are taking steps towards being a better person and a better boyfriend.
Now: when she talks to you about what triggers her, she is not trying to make you feel guilty and bad.
Quite the contrary! She is trying to give you both a fighting chance!
Only by working through her feelings can you both actually heal!
She tells you she wants to try to heal from this
If she is telling you that she wants to try and heal from this, then she will for sure forgive you.
She will forgive you because she already told you that she wants to.
She will not let this keep going on for longer and make you both feel bad.
She will forgive you because she wants to move on.
Now: just because she wants to move on from the pain and the breakup and start fresh doesn’t mean that the relationship will have a chance.
Forgiving you is one thing, making it work and trusting you in a relationship again is another.
You just need to let her take her time. Let her heal and give her time.
The thing is, forgiving someone does not mean that you are letting them back into your life or that you can make the relationship work.
So, just because she is willing to forgive you is not your green pass to not put in any more effort.
You need to make sure that you are taking steps towards becoming a better person and a better boyfriend.
If she is willing to forgive you, then you need to be willing to work on your mistakes and become a better person.
This will be the thing that decides whether she will give you a second chance or not!
Don’t take her for granted ever again. Show her how much you appreciate her and how much you love her.
You just need to give her time. Let her heal and let her know that you are working on yourself too.
The moment she knows that you are putting in the effort, she will consider giving you a second chance!
She will realize that you really want to make it work this time around.
You notice that her triggers are getting less
If you notice that her triggers are getting less, then that is a good sign.
It means that she is healing. She is trying to move on from the pain of the breakup and she is trying to forgive you.
Simply put, if her triggers are getting less and she is just not as triggered as she used to be, then she will most likely forgive you.
But if you notice that her triggers are getting less, you need to keep working on yourself too.
You need to keep taking steps towards being a better person and better boyfriend.
Now: seeing that her triggers are getting less is a beautiful sign and it can give you hope.
Something that you are both doing is working!
However, you will have to keep working hard on rebuilding her trust!
Get some help!
I know what you’re going through with this situation because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too.
I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out.
I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach.
I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand how to forgive.
This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.
My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve issues in the relationship and forgive.
My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again.
Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.
You are slowly making beautiful memories together again
If you are trying to make beautiful memories again together, then this is a great sign.
This is a sign that she will maybe forgive you.
You see, once you are over the slump of trying to just get through the day, and you actually start having fun again, that’s when you know things are looking up.
Trust me, she will notice, too!
She will start to notice that you are trying to make beautiful memories again and she will start to give you a second chance.
She will realize that you are working on yourself and that’s when she will want to give you another chance.
If she is willing to forgive you, then she will see how much you have been working on yourself and how much work you have put in.
These memories are important as they mark the beginning of this new phase in your relationship: the reconciliation.
Maybe you can treat her to a nice dinner or a date.
You can start to date her again and get to know her better.
You can start to rebuild trust with her.
If you keep taking steps towards being a better boyfriend, then she will eventually want to give you a second chance.
It will take work
Okay, so after reading all these signs, I hope you understood the main part here: it will take work on your part to make things right.
You messed up, so now it is your responsibility to make things right again.
It might take months or even years, but if you persist, you can make things work.
Remember, she is testing you to see if you are worth her forgiveness and her time.
You need to prove to her that she is not making a mistake by giving you her trust again.
If you feel like you don’t want to put in that effort, do both of you a favor and break up.
Either commit fully to making things right or don’t commit at all.
If you feel willing to put in the work and she seems like she wants to trust you again, and simply can’t yet, then you can 100% make it work as long as you don’t give up.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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