20 definite signs she only cares about herself (complete list)

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If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been burned by a girl who only cares about herself. 

Maybe you’re dating someone new and you’re wondering if she’s really into you, or maybe you’ve been with someone for a while and you’re starting to think she might be more interested in her own needs than yours.

Either way, it’s important to be able to spot the signs that a girl’s only in it for herself.

That way, you can save yourself the heartache of getting involved with someone who’s not worth your time.

Here are 20 surefire signs that she only cares about herself:

1) She only talks about herself.

So you’ve been dating this girl for a while now and a lot of times, you feel like you’re talking to a wall when you’re around her.

She seems to always have to be the center of attention and talks about herself nonstop.

She’s either totally oblivious to your feelings or just doesn’t care.

Either way, it’s a major red flag.

Why is that?

You see, relationships are built on giving and taking. If she’s not interested in learning about you, then it’s likely that she’s only interested in using you to fill her own needs.

Now, this becomes a problem because you’re not going to get what you need from the relationship if she’s only focused on herself.

A healthy relationship is built on mutual interest and respect.

So if she goes on with this narcissistic behavior, it’s a sign that she doesn’t really care about you.

Now, you can try to steer the conversation in another direction, but she can always bring it back to herself.

2) Whenever you talk, she interrupts you.

It never fails- you’re in the middle of saying something and she interrupts you.

Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter if what you’re saying is important or not. She just has to say whatever’s on her mind at that moment.

And it’s not like she ever lets you finish your story. She always has this tendency to one-up you or make a snarky comment.

When a woman does this to you, I’m sure you get really frustrated, especially when you’re trying to have a serious conversation.

And this is a clear sign that she only cares about herself. That’s because your voice and your needs don’t matter to her.

All that’s important to her is that she’s being heard, especially if she has the last say.

3) Every conversation has to end with her.

There are really some people who just love the sound of their own voice.

And that’s fine if you’re just having a casual conversation, but it becomes a problem when she won’t let you get a word in edgewise.

You might be thinking, “Well, maybe she’s just really passionate about what she’s saying.”

But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes, people do this because they want to control the conversation. They want to be the ones who have the last word.

And that’s not healthy in a relationship at all.

In fact, a relationship coach can tell you that this is a sign of selfishness.

Take Relationship Hero, for example. Their team can help you figure out how to navigate conversations with a woman who always has to have the last say.

Moreover, they can give you the best advice on how to move forward with your relationship. With their help, you can learn how to communicate better and possibly improve your relationship.

Click here to talk with a relationship coach right now.

4) She flirts with other guys…in front of you.

You’re out with your girl and you notice she’s flirting with other guys.

Or maybe she’s not even trying to hide it. She’s blatantly hitting on them right in front of you!

What gives?

Well, this is a sign that she doesn’t respect you. And it’s also a sign that she doesn’t care about your feelings.

Sure, she might say that she’s just being friendly or that she’s harmless.

She may also say that she’s seeking your attention to make you feel jealous.

But the truth is, no woman who cares about you would ever do something like this. It’s just not something that a considerate person would do.

You see, if a woman truly respects you and your relationship, she’d never put you in a situation where you feel disrespected or uncomfortable. She’d never do anything to jeopardize your relationship.

The thing is, you can make her aware of it by calling her out.

But the way things are going, expect her to get upset and defensive as the situation goes on.

5) Everything must go her way and she gets upset if it doesn’t.

I know what you’re thinking: “Of course she wants things to go her way. She’s the woman after all.”

But there’s a difference between wanting things to go your way and having everything go your way.

Here’s the interesting part: the former is perfectly normal.

We all want our partners to see things from our perspective and do things that make us happy. That’s perfectly understandable.

Having everything go your way, on the other hand, is a different story.

This is because a woman who always gets her way is actually quite controlling. Demanding to have everything go her way is a clear sign of selfishness.

Obviously, this can be a major problem in any relationship.

You see, when everything goes her way, it means that she’s not taking your needs and feelings into consideration. She’s not interested in compromising. All she cares about is getting what she wants, regardless of how it affects you.

In the end, this kind of behavior will only push you away. It’ll make you resent her and your relationship as a whole.

6) You often get canceled at the last minute or she flakes on you completely. 

Last-minute cancellations happen. I get it. Sometimes, things come up and you can’t help it.

But if this is a regular occurrence with a girl you’re seeing, it’s definitely a sign that she doesn’t care about your time or your plans.

You see, when someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll make sure that they’re available. They’ll do whatever it takes to be there for you.

But if a girl’s constantly canceling on you or flaking, it means that she doesn’t respect and value your time.

Now, this might not seem like a big deal at first. But over time, it can become a major issue.

You see, when someone doesn’t respect your time, they’re also not respecting you as a person. They don’t consider you to be worth their time and effort.

And that’s definitely not something you want in a relationship.

In fact, it’s as insensitive as the next sign on this list…

7) While out with her, she’s always texting or taking calls from other people. 

This one definitely goes hand-in-hand with the last sign.

You see, when a girl’s constantly texting or taking calls from other people while she’s out with you, it’s a clear sign that she doesn’t respect your time. It’s also a sign that she doesn’t value your company.

Simply put, it’s plain rude.

Think about it: if she really wanted to spend time with you and get to know you, she wouldn’t be distracted by other things. She’d be focused on you and only you.

But the truth is, she’s not. And that can say a lot about her priorities.

So, what’s my point?

A woman who cares only about herself will always put other things of her own interest before you.

She’ll never truly make you a priority in her life. Well, unless you spend money on her, of course…

8) Even if she makes more money than you, she expects you to pay for everything. 

Nowadays, it’s not uncommon for women to earn more money than their male partners.

But even if a woman makes more money than you, it doesn’t give her the right to expect you to pay for everything.

You see, when a woman only cares about herself, she’ll never be willing to split the bill.

She’ll always want you to pay, regardless of whether you can afford it or not.

Of course, this can quickly become a financial burden for you. Not to mention, it’s just plain rude and inconsiderate.

As if that’s not enough, this kind of behavior is also a major red flag when it comes to relationships.

You see, when a woman expects you to pay for everything, it’s a clear sign that she isn’t interested in equal partnership.

Instead of seeing you as her equal, she sees you as someone who exists to serve her needs and make her life easier.

Plus, knowing that she earns more than you and still demands that you pay for everything can be a major blow to your ego.

Needless to say, this is a toxic dynamic that’s not conducive to a healthy and happy relationship.

9) She never takes any interest in your hobbies or interests.

Further down the line of dating someone, you start to learn about their hobbies and what they’re interested in. It’s only natural to want to share these things with your partner.

But if a woman you’re dating only cares about herself, she’ll never take any genuine interest in your hobbies or interests.

In fact, she’ll probably find them boring and won’t hesitate to tell you so.

Here’s a great example:

Let’s say you’re a big fan of basketball. You live and breathe the sport. It’s one of your biggest passions in life.

Now, let’s say you’re on a date with a woman and you start talking about golf. You tell her how much you love the sport and why.

But instead of showing any interest, she quickly changes the subject. Or, even worse, she puts you down for being interested in something she doesn’t care about.

For example, she might say something like, “Why are you interested in that? It’s so boring.”

Or, “You’re really into golf? That’s so weird.”

Ouch. Talk about a major put-down.

But the truth is, this kind of behavior is just another red flag that she only cares about herself.

A woman who’s interested in you will want to learn about your hobbies and interests. She’ll want to know what makes you tick.

But a woman who only cares about herself will care less.

10) Instead of taking responsibility for her mistakes, she always blames someone else. 

Do you ever wonder why some people always seem to take responsibility for their mistakes while others always seem to find someone else to blame?

Well, it all comes down to how much someone values themselves.

You see, people who only care about themselves are more likely to blame others for their mistakes.

Why? Because they can’t stand the thought of anyone seeing them as anything less than perfect.

In their minds, making a mistake is a sign of weakness. And they’ll do whatever it takes to avoid being seen as weak or flawed in any way.

If you’re with a girl who’s always quick to blame others for her mistakes, it’s a clear sign that she only cares about herself.

In her mind, it’s always someone else’s fault. And she’ll never take responsibility for anything, no matter how big or small.

In that case, prepare to be her constant target.

11) You’re always blamed for something even if you weren’t at fault.

This goes hand in hand with the previous point.

You see, when someone only cares about themselves, they’re quick to find someone else to blame for their problems.

And more often than not, that person is you. It doesn’t matter if you were actually at fault or not. In her mind, it’s always your fault.

For example, you’re on a date with your woman and she accidentally spills her drink on you. Most people would apologize for their mistakes.

But not her.

Instead of taking responsibility, she’ll find a way to blame you.

She might say something like, “Why are you sitting too close to me?” Or, “You made me spill my drink.”

Of course, this kind of behavior isn’t only irrational, it’s also incredibly frustrating.

This can often be the beginning of a downward spiral for her to start putting you down and injecting whatever issues she has with herself onto you.

12) You get to put down in front of others or are made fun of behind your back.

Being humiliated in public by someone you deem as special is one of the most painful experiences you can go through.

And it’s even worse when it’s done behind your back.

Unfortunately, this is often the reality for people who are in relationships with women who only care about themselves.

Instead of respecting you, she’ll find any opportunity she can to put you down in front of others.

Or, she’ll gossip about you behind your back and make fun of you to her friends.

To her, it doesn’t matter how hurtful or humiliating it is for you. All that matters is that she’s making herself look good.

Also,  she’ll often use your supposed flaws as a way to make herself feel better about herself.

Although they may be true, it’s still not an excuse for her to behave this way.

13) She’s always trying to start arguments with you. 

I suppose you could say that some people are just naturally confrontational. But more often than not, this behavior’s a sign of something deeper.

You see, when a woman’s constantly trying to start arguments with you, it’s often because they have some unresolved issues with themselves.

And rather than deal with those issues, they take their frustrations out on you.

You know what? It can be tough to be on the receiving end of this kind of behavior.

And if you’re constantly being berated and criticized by your partner, it can really take a toll on your self-esteem.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to put up with it.

If she’s always trying to start arguments with you, it’s a clear sign that she doesn’t respect you.

14) She never apologizes for anything.

Saying sorry is hard. It requires admitting that we’ve done something wrong and that we’re willing to take responsibility for our actions.

Unfortunately, some people are just incapable of doing that.

If your woman never apologizes for anything, it’s a clear sign that she only cares about herself.

You see, in her mind, it’s always someone else’s fault.

Even when she knows she’s in the wrong, she’ll never admit it.

Instead, she’ll find a way to justify her actions and the whole situation. She could also behave as if the problem doesn’t exist.

In any case, this kind of proud behavior is incredibly discouraging, especially when it’s directed at you.

Although they may be true, it’s still not an excuse for her to behave this way.

But if you think about it, this kind of behavior shows that —

15) She always has to be right. 

Being right all the time is impossible. And yet, some people go through life acting as if that’s the case.

In reality, they’re just insecure and need to validate themselves.

And a surefire sign of this is when someone’s always trying to prove that they’re right, even when they’re wrong.

If a girl’s always trying to prove that she’s right, it’s likely because she has some deep-seated insecurities.

And rather than deal with those insecurities, she takes them out on you.

You see, she needs to be right all the time because it makes her feel better about herself.

Unfortunately, no matter the level of care she has for you,  she’ll always put her own needs first.

And if being right is the main way she does that, then she’ll never back down — even if it means hurting you in the process.

16) She puts herself down often to get sympathy or compliments – but only those that benefit her.

Sympathy is an important part of our emotional lives. It allows us to connect with others and feel understood.

Alternatively, compliments make us feel good about ourselves. They remind us that we’re valued and appreciated.

But there’s a difference between genuine compliments and those that are given with ulterior motives.

You see, some people will put themselves down often to get sympathy or compliments from others.

But the thing is, they’re only looking for the kind of attention that benefits them.

For instance, they might say something like, “I’m so fat” in order to get a compliment in return.

Or they might play the victim role to get sympathy from others.

In any case, this kind of behavior is manipulative and incredibly self-serving. That’s because the only person they’re really thinking about is themselves.

If you’re with a woman who’s displaying this kind of emotional manipulation, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

17) She only calls when she needs something.

We all need help from time to time. Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or someone to help us move, we all need assistance from our loved ones.

Unfortunately, some people only reach out when they need something.

Let’s say, for instance, a girl calls you up to hang out every time she’s stood up by her date.

Or maybe she needs a place to stay for a few days because she’s having some “problems” at home.

Now, while these may all be genuine requests, the fact that she only calls when she needs something is telling.

Well, it would be different if she did the same for you.

18) When you need her, she never comes through.

I mean, you can’t even remember the last time she did something nice for you, let alone something you actually needed.

Isn’t that the saddest thing?

Here you are, looking to be a good friend and partner to a woman you care about. But she’s so wrapped up in her own world that she can’t even see how her actions (or lack thereof) are affecting you.

If she truly cares about you,  she would make an effort to be there for you — especially when you need her the most.

But unfortunately, that’s not the case. And to be honest, it likely never will be.

Probably the only time that she ever does anything for you is when she needs something in return.

19) You’re never mentioned in her social media posts.

Social media has become a huge part of our lives. And while it’s not the be-all and end-all, it does give us a snapshot of someone’s life.

For instance, you can get an idea of what someone’s interests are, the type of people they associate with, and even how they see themselves.

Now, if you’re dating a girl who’s completely absent from social media, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But if she’s constantly posting about her life and never mentions you, that’s definitely a red flag.

I mean, sure, it’s possible that she just doesn’t want to share her personal life online. But it’s also indicative of a larger problem: she’s selfish.

How is this selfish?

Well, by only posting about herself, she’s indicating that she doesn’t think of you as an important part of her life.

The thing is, posting on social media in this day and age is pretty much second nature. So if she’s not mentioning you, it’s because she doesn’t want to.

And that’s not the actions of someone who cares about you.

20) Nothing you do, no matter how hard you try, will please her.  

Ultimately, you just want to make her happy. But no matter how hard you try, it seems like nothing you do is ever good enough.

I mean, you’re always bending over backward to please her and make things work. But all your efforts don’t seem to come up to par.

Maybe she’s always criticizing your clothes or the way you style your hair.

Or perhaps she’s never satisfied with how you perform when you hook up and get a little intimate.

No matter what you do, she always seems to find something wrong.

Whatever the case may be, her constant criticism is a surefire sign that she only cares about herself.

Are these signs indicative of narcissism?

To be honest, it’s tough to say.

Narcissism, after all, is a spectrum. And not everyone who displays these signs is a full-blown narcissist.

However, narcissistic behavior is often characterized by a lack of empathy, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a need for constant validation.

So if you’re dating someone who checks all those boxes, it’s definitely something to be concerned about.

At the end of the day, only you can decide whether or not to stay in a relationship and continue to engage with someone who might be selfish.

But if you’re looking for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it’s important to be aware of the signs.

By doing so, you can save yourself a lot of heartaches — and maybe even some therapy bills down the line.

What can you do?

All things said it’s important to take things into context. Why don’t you consider these three things?

Try to talk to her about it

I know, it sounds a bit daunting. But if you care about the relationship, it’s worth a shot.

Have an honest conversation and let her know how you’re feeling. She might not even realize that their behavior is coming off as selfish.

Then, give her a chance to respond.

If she’s truly interested in making things work, she’ll be receptive to your concerns and take them to heart.

But if she doesn’t care, she’ll likely get defensive and shut down the conversation.

At that point, you’ll know that it’s time to move on.

Reflect on the whole situation

Another thing you can do is take a step back and assess the situation objectively.

I know it’s hard to be unbiased when you’re in the middle of a relationship. But it’s important to try.

So ask yourself: are you putting in more effort than she is?

Are you always the one initiating plans or trying to make things work?

If you need help in answering these questions, I suggest talking with someone to get an unbiased third-party opinion.

In fact, one of the professional coaches at Relationship Hero helped me see things more clearly when I was in a similar situation.

It definitely made a world of difference just to speak with someone who can give you sound advice on how to approach things.

Simply listen to your gut

If something feels off with how your girl’s behaving, it probably is. So if you have a sneaking suspicion that she only cares about herself, it’s probably true.

Trusting your gut is a good way to know if you’re on the right track.

It’s that feeling that won’t ever leave you, no matter how much you try to ignore it.

And more often than not, it’s correct.

So, make time to assess your relationship and see if your gut is telling you something.

Besides, it’s always better to be proactive than reactive. If you wait until things blow up in your face, it’ll be too late.

You might end up with a broken heart and a feeling of regret that’ll stay with you for a long time.

The bottom line

If most of these signs sound familiar, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationship with this girl.

Trust me, it’s not going to be easy. This is especially true if you’ve invested so much time and effort into making things work.

But it’s important to nip this toxic, narcissistic behavior in the bud before it gets any worse.

Only by standing up for yourself and setting boundaries will you be able to put an end to this one-sided relationship.

You deserve someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are as much as they care about themselves.

So don’t waste your time with someone who isn’t worth it.

At the end of the day, you’re the most important person in your life.

Your self-love and self-worth should always come first.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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