10 big signs she lost interest in you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

The texting gets less, she won’t reach out as much anymore, and you’re not sure where you went wrong – has this ever happened to you?

When a woman loses interest in you, it can be difficult, especially when you are not sure what you did wrong.

However, sometimes, we tend to overthink things, especially when it comes to love. Maybe she didn’t really lose interest and she’s truly just busy?

In that case, overreacting could potentially scare her away. So what can you do?

Well, first, I’d figure out if she really lost interest in you, and I’ll tell you exactly what signs you need to look out for:

1) She takes forever to get back to you

Okay, let’s start out with a big (and possibly controversial) one: she might be losing interest if you notice that she takes forever to get back to you.

Do you sometimes call or text her and don’t hear back for hours? This is a big sign that she’s losing interest.

The thing is, there is the argument that she is just busy, I get that. But then again, if you truly like someone and you are really busy, you will reply to them with something like:

“Oh my god hi, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get back to you, it’s been a crazy busy day here!”

Not something like “Hi, what’s up?” 7 hours later.

You see, it’s all in the tone.

And if we’re being totally honest, if you are really busy, you often know that beforehand and can give people a heads-up.

I don’t know how about you, but when I know that I won’t be able to text my boyfriend for a few hours due to being busy or being somewhere with a spotty network, I like to let him know beforehand.

It’s not a lot of effort to spend 20 seconds typing a text like: “Hey, will be really busy today but I’ll call you tomorrow!”

If she is not doing any of those things and her texts and calls are getting fewer and fewer, she might be losing interest.

2) She doesn’t initiate any meet-ups anymore

Alright, this is another classic. When a girl completely stops initiating hang-outs, that’s a bit of a red flag that she might be losing interest.

You see, when a girl likes someone, she will want to hang out with them as much as possible.

Sure, she might not ask you outright (especially if she’s more traditional) but she will still suggest things.

This could be through a text like: “Hey, would you want to go to that new coffee place at some point?” or “Hey, we should really do a Star Wars marathon together!”

If she’s not doing that anymore and is instead taking a step back, that’s a big sign.

But not just that, you might have also noticed that when you ask her to hang out, she will be busy but not suggest a better time.

For example, if you ask someone who likes you out on a Friday night and she’s busy, she might suggest going out on Saturday instead.

But if a woman loses interest, she will simply decline the invitation without offering an alternative.

That’s when you know that it’s really over.

3) When you do meet, she doesn’t seem excited

Let’s say you finally managed to find a time that works for her and you get to hang out.

Another huge sign that she is losing interest is that she just doesn’t seem very excited about seeing you.

You see, if a woman likes you, she is going to be excited to see you.

If she’s not as excited anymore, then it might be that her feelings for you are fading. This is especially true if the dates are getting shorter and less frequent.

When women lose interest in a guy, they will start to save their energy and will not want to put in any effort.

So, when you meet her, she won’t be as excited as she used to be and she will be a lot more quiet than usual.

4) You argue a lot when you are together

This next one is a classic. You will notice that someone is slowly losing interest in you if they are arguing with you more and more.

So not only is she not excited about seeing you, but she also starts a bunch of fights!

If you used to get along fine, but now you’re always getting into arguments when you are together, it means that she is losing interest.

This is another one where you have to talk to her and find out what’s going on.

Maybe she’s just dealing with a lot of stress at work or at home and it’s making her irritable!

Or maybe there’s something else going on…

However, if a woman keeps picking fights over every little thing without any real reason, it means that she has lost interest in you.

Maybe she is waiting for you to completely blow up so that she has a reason to end things, or maybe she just likes to argue.

Either way, it’s not a great sign if you start arguing constantly and about the most irrelevant things!

Now: some couples simply go through a difficult time, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

If you feel like this could simply be a temporary phase, then you can try working on yourself or the relationship in some way.

Talking to a relationship coach at Relationship Hero could be a good option in this case! It’s all online and you can do it yourself, at first, you don’t necessarily need to bring your girlfriend into it.

If there is something causing these fights other than that she’s losing interest, I’m sure a relationship coach could help you figure that out.

Click here to get started.

5) She’s always late

Okay, to be totally fair, this next point really depends on the type of person she is.

Some people are chronic late-comers, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

So, if she has been late to every single one of your dates since you started seeing her, then you don’t have to worry about this one too much.

However, if she was the kind of person who would always show up on time and make sure to be there, and now she is always late and often doesn’t even text you, that’s a bad sign.

You see, it shows that she is losing interest and that she frankly has no respect for your time. She doesn’t care if you’re waiting for her.

When a woman loses interest, she stops caring about making an effort. On that note…

6) She stopped putting any effort into how she looks when she’s with you

Okay, I feel like I need to elaborate a bit on this one.

A woman who lets down her guard and lets you see her at her most natural state without makeup or having her hair done can be a really good sign!

It could mean that she trusts you and likes you a lot. So don’t immediately interpret that as a bad thing.

However, if you take her out to nice dinners and you know she usually loves getting glammed up, but now she just stopped putting any effort into her appearance, that can be a bad sign.

It could mean that she is losing interest in you and she doesn’t even want to pretend anymore.

Now: this only works for a very specific type of girl. Some girls are always laid-back and their appearance isn’t super important to them.

In that case, this point is irrelevant.

7) She is not interested in intimacy anymore

One big giveaway that she is losing interest is if she is no longer interested in intimacy.

Now, this can happen for a few reasons.

One is that she just started going through a rough time and she’s stressed out, so she’s not feeling up to it.

Another possibility is that her sex drive just isn’t as high as it used to be. That’s not necessarily a bad thing!

However, you do want to make sure that the lack of intimacy doesn’t have anything to do with you.

If you’re doing everything right and there are no outside factors involved, then it means that she has lost interest in you.

She may still be attracted to you physically (in which case there are other signs), but if the spark isn’t there anymore when it comes to intimacy, then it means something’s wrong.

Note: this also applies to any other kind of physical intimacy – hand-holding, kisses on the cheek, etc…

If she stops doing those things with you completely, that’s a bad sign. My advice here is to talk to her without being accusing – simply ask her what is going on.

Sometimes, there might be an issue that is unrelated to you!

8) She’s always on her phone when you’re together

She doesn’t really want to hang out, if you do, she argues with you a lot, and now she’s also always on her phone?

This is when you truly know that things are not going well between you two.

You see, when someone truly likes you and doesn’t get a lot of time to be with you because they are busy, they will try to use every second to be present with you.

That means they will be looking at you, they will ask you questions, and they will try to keep the conversation going.

If someone is losing interest in you, on the other hand, they are going to become more and more distracted by their phone and other things.

They might even start to feel like you’re a burden to them.

If this is what’s happening between you two, it doesn’t mean that she’s definitely lost interest in you.

However, it does mean that there are some serious issues in your relationship that need to be addressed!

Now: this also depends on what kind of person she is – I know some people who are simply always on their phones, no matter what!

That’s usually when they are seriously addicted to social media, but then you’d know that this point is not relevant to you.

I’m talking about a real change in personality – she used to be super present with you and now she constantly texts other people or scrolls through Instagram.

In that case, something might be up.

9) She doesn’t show any interest in you or what’s going on in your life

This kind of relates to the previous point, but you will know that a girl is losing interest if she doesn’t really ask you any questions about your life.

She doesn’t care about what’s going on in your life, and she doesn’t care to learn more about you either.

That means that she’s not interested in you, and it also means that something is wrong in the relationship.

Think about it: in a happy relationship, both partners want the best for each other and they want to know what’s going on in each other’s lives!

If she is not interested at all in what’s going on in your life, then she’s losing interest and you should seriously reconsider your relationship with her.

10) She is not interested in doing the activities you used to do together

Last but not least, a woman who is losing interest in you will not want to do the things anymore that you used to do together.

You see, maybe you used to go on lots of hikes or even take weekend trips to the ocean.

Now, when you suggest that, she doesn’t want to do it anymore, and instead, just wants to meet for a quick coffee.

That’s a sign that she is slowly fading out of your life and is losing interest.

So, if you notice that she is no longer interested in doing the things that you used to do together, then there’s a good chance that she’s losing interest in you.

Final thoughts – respect yourself

Before I end this article, I need to tell you one last thing.

If you notice multiple of these signs in your relationship, I hope that you understand that this woman is probably not into you anymore.

Now: it’s one thing to be respectful of her when she is busy and has a lot going on, but if she starts treating you like crap, you need to stand up for yourself.

Instead of putting up with this, I hope you can respect yourself and your own time enough to say “This is not the kind of relationship I want, I feel like you’re losing interest, so if that is the case, maybe we should end it”

I know, it’s really difficult, especially when you like or even love her, but you deserve someone who puts as much effort into you as you put into them!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.