Whether or not you believe in love at first sight, answer one question for me:
Have you ever met someone and felt a jolt of electricity go through? Was it hard to take your eyes off them and you had no idea why?
Instant connections are very real and very powerful. But they can sometimes also be confused for strong physical chemistry.
Here’s how to tell if you have an incredible instant connection with a guy you just met or whether it’s only fleeting pheromones.
16 undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man
1) You truly feel heard for the first time in ages
In this busy world of ours, there are so many times that you may have felt totally unheard.
Even when people nodded their heads, smiled and spoke, you could tell you hadn’t really been heard in a real way.
One of the most undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that you finally feel someone really hears you.
It’s not the physical words, it’s the emotions and experiences under them.
Something about the way he listens and absorbs what you say (or don’t say) inspires confidence, intimacy and attraction.
He’s not putting on a show of any kind, and yet he’s making you feel that you matter and that your voice is real for the first time in years, maybe even ever.
This kind of instant connection is so powerful and rare.
“If we don’t feel heard, it can lead to feelings of shame or abandonment.
“Active listening demonstrates a real emotional connection,” is the way that certified relationship coach Julie Nguyen describes it.
2) You feel like you already know them from somewhere
Have you ever met someone and felt like you knew them already from somewhere?
If you believe in past lives then maybe it’s a karmic connection from another life.
But even if you don’t, there’s no doubt that something about this person is familiar and connects with you in a deep way.
If you’re feeling this it’s hard to deny.
You just know deep inside that there’s something so familiar about this man that makes you feel like you can open up, trust him and have something special with him.
This is one of the most undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man:
You feel like you recognize him from somewhere even though you’ve never seen him before in your life.
3) Your intuition tells you that there’s a strong connection
You should never underestimate the power and accuracy of your intuition.
In my own life, my intuition has helped guide me through so many situations, such as avoiding guys who later turned out to be abusive and having strong intuiton about the career path I was supposed to follow.
Your intuition when you meet someone means a lot.
It’s more than just random feelings: it’s your spiritual and instinctive reaction to their physical and emotional self.
If you’ve just met a guy and you’re on fire then it’s not by mistake.
Something about him is setting off all your intuitive alarm bells in a great way.
Mary Elizabeth Dean has a sharp insight on this, writing that “intuition holds more weight than it is often given credit for.
If you feel the chemistry between the two of you, it is normally one sign of unspoken attraction.”
4) You tease each other in the perfect blend of romance and fun
Interactions with some guys can go too far into the silly zone and attraction evaporates.
Or they can become so serious that being around them feels like a chore or a checklist.
But when you have an instant connection it tends to be like everything in just the right amount.
He may be a little silly but also possess gravitas and seriousness that attracts you.
He will tease you, but it’s in just the right way not to be offensive and crass but also not to be too goody-two-shoes and boring…
This optimal blend of risky excitement and reassuring romantic vibes is exactly what makes these kinds of connections so powerful.
It’s not one-sided at all: it’s a kaleidoscope of emotions all at once in just the right amount.
5) The spark you feel is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before
One of the reasons it can be confusing when you have a strong reaction to a guy is that it may be the first time you’ve felt something like this.
Sure, you may have caught your breath at a gorgeous hunk working out or felt fascinated by the smart philosopher you chatted with at the cafe that one time…
But the spark you feel when you form a truly instant connection with a man for seemingly no reason is truly unique.
It hits you like a bolt out of the blue and your whole body may be tingling as you feel like you’re drunk or have a fever.
It’s much more than just strong attraction, it’s more like an invisible bond between the two of you has become obvious and now you’re just wondering why…
And where it will go from here.
“Although you may feel a spark every time you meet someone you date or want to date, when you meet someone who’s soulmate material, the spark is likely different.”
6) Time flies way faster than you realized
Albert Einstein famously joked that relativity could be compared to a pleasant vs. unpleasant experience.
As he said, “when a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute – and it’s longer than any hour.”
When you meet someone where there’s an instant connection you lose track of time.
Suddenly an hour has gone by and you feel like you just said hi.
Or you go out for a drink and before you know it the staff is starting to sweep up and cash out: the bar is already closing.
One of the most undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that he completely makes you lose track of time.
When you look in his eyes and talk to him you forget what day it is, much less what time.
7) You love making eye contact with them and they do too
Eye contact is so important in so many ways.
According to the ancient Greeks, the eyes sent out a kind of substance that had the power to touch others.
The Greek philosopher Plato believed that, “the substance that was emitted by the eye was a kind of gentle ‘visual fire” or light, flowing forth out of the pupil, that combined with ambient light to generate a homogeneous “body of vision” (like a kind of disembodied tentacle controlled by the eyes).”
He believed this “encompassed or touched objects and thereby generated a medium between the object and the viewer which allowed aspects of the object to contact the soul.”
The basic point here is that eyes are very powerful and tell you a lot about how much chemistry there is or not.
When you have an instant connection with a guy,
“Eye contact is a great way to see if there’s chemistry. If both of you are staring at each other intensely, well, it’s clear there’s something going on,” advises Natasha Ivanovic.
8) The universe starts showing you signs
Many times when you have an instant connection with someone, the universe also starts showing you signs.
Sometimes the universe talks to you in ways you don’t recognize at first.
One of the most common ways that the universe talks to you is through other people.
It sends someone special to guide and inspire you and help you cooperate and move forward in your life in proactive and unique ways.
Sometimes you will see unique angel numbers and then meet this special man who you feel a strong connection to.
Other times you may have dreams and then meet him.
It’s all interconnected.
9) Your life suddenly changes in big ways due to meeting them
Another one of the most undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that your life changes after meeting him.
Maybe you have a brilliant conversation that leads you to a new career.
Maybe you end up moving to a new place because of something he reminds you of.
Maybe something about your interaction with a man simply makes you on fire for life and begin to see the world and yourself in a new way.
And this begins to change everything.
When you meet someone who changes your life, it’s often very clear that nothing will ever be the same, even if you can’t quite put your finger on why.
“The encounter can often bring many life changes. Perhaps, meeting this person turns your life around in a dramatic way,” is what Tanaaz Chubb talks about.
10) You don’t feel the need to keep secrets
One of the strongest undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that you don’t feel the need to keep secrets.
You open up to them almost effortlessly and may even find yourself surprised at how vulnerable you are willing to be with them.
This is especially true if you’re usually a more guarded and reserved person.
You suddenly meet a man and find yourself spilling your guts to him.
Then for a moment you may check yourself and wonder what came over you. It’s clearly an instant connection that you’re not used to.
Because when a connection is strong and real it can surprise even the most measured among us.
11) They come to you in a time of crisis or confusion
Many times there’s an undeniable instant connection with a man when we least expected it.
It may happen in the middle of a time of crisis or confusion when you least expect it.
Suddenly this person appears in front of you and is saying exactly what you needed to hear, providing information you thought was out of reach or lending you a hand in an extraordinary way.
You feel this connection to them that’s somehow connected to the difficult situation.
It feels like destiny and the events of your life brought you together with them in the strangest way.
And you feel this bond that’s hard to explain.
I believe that part of the reason this happens is that strange and critical situations often strip away all our outer illusions.
The labels and costumes we use to fit in and disguise ourselves are gone, and all that’s left is our raw humanity and capacity to see the worth in others and interrelate with them for survival and growth.
I met one of my most serious boyfriends in university in a hospital emergency room.
12) There’s nothing uncomfortable about silence
When there’s a strong connection, there’s no need for words.
You can sit comfortably with someone and talk about nothing.
This is a really convincing sign that there’s an instant connection with a man: you find his presence and energy interesting, engaging and sufficient.
There’s no need for him to bring up a unique topic or even to do an activity with him.
Just being around him feels right and makes you happy.
Like Jenna Birch talks about, “those with strong emotional connections can also just enjoy each other’s company and can sit in total silence, comfortably.
“There’s peace and solace in something as simple as that.”
13) You feel intensely physically and intimately drawn to them
Never underestimate the importance of physical attraction as well.
One of the most undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that you feel drawn to him intimately as well.
This may not translate into just jumping into bed with him, but it will occur to you that you find him far “hotter” than any other guy you’ve met.
Something about the way he carries himself and everything else lights you on fire.
And it makes you long to be around him as much as possible.
“You can be sexually attracted to any pretty face when the mood strikes, but when you’re with someone and there’s a deeper connection between the two of you, that sexual attraction doesn’t need a time or place,” writes Angelica Bottaro.
14) You can be honest about who you are
One of the most convincing and undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that you feel able to be radically honest and open.
Louise Jackson writes about this at Nomadrs, discussing how an instant connection makes you feel like you can really be yourself right away.
Even your most deeply-guarded secrets somehow no longer seem necessary to be quite as careful about.
You feel surprised at your own behavior, because something about the strength and authenticity of this connection you’re making is taking your breath away.
It’s special and wonderful, and it’s very much real.
When you feel this ability to be so open and vulnerable with a guy you’ve just met, you can be sure that the connection is strong, instant and true.
15) You’re both unusual in a similar way
When you find someone who’s unusual in the same way as you, it can be like seeing yourself in the mirror.
Whatever hobby, belief or lifestyle sets you apart from the crowd, it’s easy to start feeling lonely or alienated.
But when you meet a guy who makes you feel heard, seen and understood, all that begins to fade away.
You feel an instant connection to someone who gets you at a deep and instinctive level.
Something about when you look in his eyes tells you you’re right: he gets you.
And he’s weird in the same way that you are.
16) Meeting this person begins to change the whole way you see yourself and the world
Perhaps the strongest one of the undeniable signs of an instant connection with a man is that you immediately sense a change in yourself.
Even if nothing has outwardly changed, you’ve changed.
You feel different in some weird way, like you’ve just stepped off the plane in a new climate, or gotten your hair dyed.
You’re still you, but something about you and the environment you exist in has subtly shifted.
You begin to change on an energetic level as you connect more and more with this guy, and you feel it happen surprisingly rapidly.
“As you connect with the person, you sense a change in yourself. That little voice in your head will tell you that what you are experiencing is once-in-a-lifetime.
“And that you will never be the same again. You can sense a shift in your mindset that is reflected in your outward behavior,” observes Abundance No Limits.
Come on baby, light my fire
Instant connections can turn into long-term connections.
It can come down to luck, destiny and timing.
Or sometimes it’s just written in the stars.
If you feel a strong instant connection with a man, it’s worth following up on.
Get to know him at a deeper level and open yourself to him to see if there’s even more under the surface.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.