This is a list of warning signs that the man in your life may be too weak to stand up for himself or to be able to maintain healthy relationships.
If you’re concerned that your partner might lack the strength within themselves to make wise decisions, this list will serve as an effective guide.
1) Commitment issues
What is the most important aspect of any relationship? For most people, it’s the commitment that they make to the other person.
With a strong commitment comes a sense of trust and safety – two essential ingredients for a healthy relationship. If you’re in a relationship with someone who is unable or unwilling to make promises, this could be a big red flag.
This might be part of a larger problem though – if your partner frequently changes their mind, is very “evasive” about their future plans, or constantly “loses” their phone, these are all signs of a person who is hiding something.
If you notice any of these signs, take them as a “heads up” – there’s probably something underneath that’s causing them.
A lot of guys will be outwardly confident, but inwardly they might be afraid to commit. They might not be able to identify any specific reason why they are afraid, only that they are.
This can be a huge red flag, especially if you’re hoping to get into a serious relationship. A committed relationship means that one partner is willing to commit to being in a relationship for the long term.
This might mean getting married, having kids, or moving in together. If you sense that your partner is afraid to commit, this could be a sign that he’s not ready for a serious relationship.
A good man will make sure that he never promises more than he can deliver. A great man will deliver way more than anyone could ever ask for – and then some!
A weak man will make you sign a contract before he decides to give you his heart – that’s not how relationships are supposed to work!
2) Control issues
Do they have a “codependent” relationship with you? If they have a “tendency to control” you, this could be a sign of a “weak” man.
Some people have a “need to control” others – this can be because they are feeling insecure or possessive. A good rule of thumb is to examine why you’re feeling a particular way – often, the root of the problem can be found in the “why” rather than the “how”.
People who are “controlling” usually have a “need for domination” – this means that they would rather subjugate others than submit to someone else’s will.
Remember, if someone is constantly trying to control you, this is a big red flag. It could mean that they have a “tendency to abuse”, or that they have some other “issues” that you should be aware of.
3) Emotional manipulation
Do they play mind games? Mindgames are a common way for emotional manipulators to get under your skin. This could be because they don’t “fancy themselves as the ‘mature’ type”.
You should be careful about opening up too much space for your partner to walk all over you. If someone is constantly putting you down, or shaming you, this is a red flag.
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Do they lie a lot? In today’s society, where everyone is looking for “the truth”, lying is a major red flag. Even if someone is “generally” telling the truth, a lie by omission can be just as damaging as a lie by commission.
If you’re with someone who lies, it’s usually because they have something to hide. This could be the result of various “emotional” issues, or because they simply don’t want you to know about their past.
If you’re dating a “liar”, it’s best to keep your distance. Instead of “opening yourself up to more risks”, try to be as careful as possible.
Jealousy is a very common trait in young people who are in relationships – and it’s even more common in young people who are in relationships with weak men.
If your sweetie is constantly questioning the security of your relationship, it’s a good sign that he’s not ready to commit.
Do they have a “history of envy or possessiveness”? Jealousy is a “commonly” felt emotion, but it’s rarely “appropriate”. If you’re dating someone and they constantly “show signs of jealousy”, this could be a sign of a “control freak”.
Basically, you can try to talk to him about your feelings – but don’t get upset if he doesn’t understand them! Instead of worrying about commitment and trust issues, try to focus on yourselves and what you can do to keep the two of you happy and healthy.
Remember, jealousy is a natural emotion, but “excessive” jealousy is not. If someone is feeling “jealous” towards other people that they know (or think they know), then this is a red flag.
There is “no such thing as ‘owed’ jealousy” – if you feel this way, then it might be time to reassess the relationship.
Jealousy is a normal emotion, but when you have a weak man in your life, you have to be careful not to overreact to it. If your guy gets all worked up over you talking to other guys, or if he gets jealous when you’re at work, but doesn’t say anything, this could be a sign.
6) Lack of confidence
If your partner constantly puts down their own stories, accomplishments, or dreams, it may be a sign that they’re not confident enough to take the next step with you. They might even go as far as to say things like, “You’re better than that,” “You’re too good for me,” or “You deserve better.”
If they constantly doubt themselves and their abilities, even after you’ve reassured them that they can do things, this could be a red flag.
This is an important trait to look out for in a partner because it will affect how they approach relationships in the future. If a person is not confident enough to assume responsibility for their own life, then the relationship will never be completely healthy.
Can they “stand up for themselves”? Confidence is a huge part of any relationship – if you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, or have doubts about yourself and your abilities, this could spell disaster for your relationship.
If you’re with someone who “shies away from confrontation”, or doesn’t “have a backbone”, this could be a dealbreaker.
A good rule of thumb is this – if you would rather “curtail” your interactions with someone, or “brush them off”, then they likely have “some issues” that you should address.
If you believe he is supremely confident and in control of his life, it might be a sign that there’s more going on than meets the eye.
What if he’s always had a hard time getting what he wants? Or what if he doesn’t view himself as good enough to deserve your affection?
Men who feel like they’re not good enough usually lack the confidence to be kind, generous and considerate towards others. In fact, they’ll mostly be seen as garbage by other men and women because they won’t share what they have with them, and will just act with entitlement.
7) He tries to control you through sex or violence
This is a very serious situation. If you feel like he’s trying to control you through sex, or if it feels like he’s trying to control you by getting aggressive, then these are huge warning signs. Either way, it all comes down to his behaviour and the way he treats others.
If this type of behaviour is okay with you, then ask yourself what kind of person would do such a thing? The wrong man will want to do this, even though he has no respect for your body or soul.
When the man in your life is quick to initiate sex or use violence (as a threat) to get you to do what he wants, it’s likely a sign that he feels powerless in other areas of his life and is trying to make himself feel strong through the use of sex or by intimidating you.
8) He keeps everything about himself secret and doesn’t want to let you in emotionally
One of the surest ways to tell if a man is wrong for you is to engage in drama with him.
Like you know, everyone has their ‘deal-breakers’ when it comes to potential partners – if your man is one of them, then there might be cause for concern. A man who constantly seeks out conflict could also have a ‘thorny’ personality, which you’ll either have to accept or walk away from.
If you decide to stay, then you need to remember that ‘the household is rule-based’ – if you and your man have an argument that ends up in the courts, it could have a significant impact on your future.
The fact that he is hiding details about himself and isn’t willing to explain things about himself means that these are not good signs. It’s also a sign of insecurity and he needs to get over himself and learn how to embrace his vulnerability.
It’s way too easy for him to take advantage of your emotional vulnerabilities because he doesn’t have the right kind of respect for you.
9) He’s inconsistent about his plans and never keeps them
When a man makes a plan, he’s supposed to stick to it.
If he changes his mind about going to the cinema one minute and then cancels at the last minute, you need to be put in the picture about why this is a problem.
If he constantly changes his mind about what he wants to do, or who he wants to spend time with, then he’s probably not very sure about you either.
Don’t forget: A lack of consistency could also be a sign that your man is ‘needy’ or ‘controlling’.
If he doesn’t know what he wants, you’re probably not a priority in his life. He’ll just keep you around because he feels like he has to have someone.
But, if you think about it, then why did he start dating in the first place? If it was because of his lack of confidence or something else, then you will get hurt sooner or later.
10) A history of failed relationships
Whether he has been divorced or single for a long time, having a history of failed relationships are a huge warning sign.
Usually, guys who have lots of failed relationships have underlying issues that make it difficult to sustain a long term relationship.
Whether it was emotional or physical abuse, or just a history of being not very trustworthy, there’s no doubt in my mind that this is a red flag.
It’s normal for a guy to have a few failed relationships, but he should never remain in someone’s life with bad feelings. What if it was because he was not willing to work on his issues? Or what if the other woman is at fault with the cheating?
A man who fails at relationships is not ready to commit to you, because a successful relationship requires that both people put in the effort. A failed man may not be able to commit to you because he is not ready to be successful.
11) There’s too much drama in his life
It’s completely normal for a man to have drama in his life, but if it starts to affect your relationship then you might be living with a weak man.
If he has too much drama outside of our relationship that he doesn’t deal with, it makes you feel like he is not devoted to you.
Otherwise, if your partner seems to attract drama like a magnet, this could be a problem.
If they seem to be the center of attention in every bad situation, or if they can’t seem to help causing drama with their actions, this cis too bad.
People usually attract drama because they have a big enough personality to do so – if they don’t have a big enough one, they’ll try to make other people be the source of their problems.
With love, comes love – and sometimes, not all of it is positive. When you’re in a relationship, there will always be some challenges and conflicts – but the difference is that you can deal with them.
A weak man always seems to attract more drama than a strong one. He might not be able to control his emotions when he’s with you – but why should you have to put up with that?
Believe it or not:
A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect – not on one person’s inability to cope with their emotions. If your boyfriend or partner constantly puts other people’s needs before yours, then that’s a clear sign that he’s not strong enough to be at your side.
12) He can’t keep a secret
It’s okay to have some secrets from your partner, but if he can’t keep them.
However, If you’ve ever heard the words “I won’t tell anyone” from a man, and then for some reason…he feels the need to inform someone about something that should have been kept private, he’s likely a weak character.
Be careful. He’s not good for you. Weak men don’t respect secrets.
A guy who can’t keep a secret is probably not the one that you want to be dating. It’s one thing to be a little forgetful from time to time, but it’s another thing to be consistently lying to your friends, family, and coworkers.
If he can’t keep a secret, this could mean that he’s a bad liar. It could also mean that he’s a pathological liar. pathological liars tell lies for a living or for fun – they don’t “forget”, they just tell new lies.
If he can’t keep a secret, it could mean that he’s not the right guy for you.
He should be able to tell you things without having to explain himself or making excuses. There may be important things going on in his life that are private, but he should be able to talk about those things without having to lie about it.
13) He doesn’t seem to care about you as much as you think he does
If he is not showing the level of passion that you two are experiencing, it is a clear sign that he does not care as much as you think he does.
Sure, he texted you this morning and it seemed like everything was fine. But then later on that day, when you tried to contact him again, he didn’t respond.
First, you couldn’t help but wonder if something happened or if maybe he doesn’t really care about what’s going on in your life anymore?
Then, you will ask yourself: He doesn’t seem to be interested in what you have to say and is constantly looking around.
Some examples that help you recognize that: He often ignores your texts, refuses invitations from you, or only contacts you when he needs something from you.
Or When it comes to communication between partners in any relationship, it’s imperative that both people understand each other and can communicate openly at all times.
Why don’t these signs tell the whole story? The truth might lie somewhere else…
If your man no longer seems to have feelings for you the way he used to, it is a sign that he is not as committed to you as he once was.
Or, It means he’s not interested in you and he doesn’t care about you anymore.
14) He refuses to let you spend time with your friends and family
Some ‘weak men’ will not let you spend time with your friends and family. They will claim that you “defend” each other too much and that you need to “separate” for a while so that you can “realise” who you are without the other person.
This is a classic control tactic. Nobody should be forced to choose between the people they love and their family. If you need to spend time with your family, you should be able to and should be able to tell your partner that you need to do so.
Or it could also be a sign that he has trust issues – or that he simply doesn’t want you talking to anyone else.
If he won’t let you talk to your friends, this could be a sign that he has some crazy insecurities. It could also be a sign that he’s simply not ready to be in a relationship.
If he won’t let you talk to your family, it could be because he has trust issues of his own, or he simply doesn’t want you talking to them on the phone.
Or he might not be ready to be in a relationship. In fact, he may not even be aware of what a relationship is!
The fewer the people you spend time with, the better chance there is of finding the ‘one’. If a man is keeping you from your friends and family, then he might not be ready for a relationship.
15) Poor communication skills
A person who has poor communication skills might seem charming and confident on the outside, but on the inside they are usually feeling nervous or insecure.
A person who has poor communication skills might try to charm you or win you over with compliments at first, but behind those words there is usually a lot of insecurity.
If someone is trying to “win” you over with compliments, it might be a sign that they don’t have the confidence to be themselves around you.
Furthermore, a person who has poor communication skills might try to control every aspect of your life, from when you see them to what you do and say. This can make you feel smothered, which could lead to resentment.
If a man does not speak to his parents or his friends regularly, then there is a chance he is not ready to be in a relationship. Communication is important, and if a man does not want to talk to you, it is a very clear sign that he is not ready to be in a relationship.
A person with self-doubt doubts themselves and their abilities.
A person with self-doubt also worries that they don’t have what it takes to be successful or brave enough to take certain actions in life.
Then again a person with self-doubt might have a low opinion of themselves because of their perceived shortcomings. A self-doubting person might make mistakes or do things that cause them to doubt themselves even more.
Self-doubt is a common problem that can plague anyone. We’ve all been there – we’ve all felt like we don’t have what it takes to be successful or brave enough to take certain actions in life.
Let’s not forget:
Self-doubt is a negative and pervasive emotion that can prevent a person from living life to the full.
If you notice a lack of self-confidence but your partner seems to be fine, try to be patient and give their time. Self-doubt is often a sign that there is a deeper issue that needs to be addressed.
17) Unrealistic expectations
This is a clear indication that he is not ready to be in a relationship.
Men tend to be more straightforward with their expectations than women, and this can be both a blessing and a curse.
If a man has unrealistic expectations about the relationship, this could be a sign that he is not ready to settle down.
Men are often willing to be patient and wait for the woman they love to make the first move, but if a woman makes him wait too long, he might get impatient and start looking elsewhere.
When a man is in a relationship, he is supposed to be the leader. If he is constantly asking you to change, or he complains that you do not change, then he has some growing up to do.
We all want our relationships to be perfect. But, if your guy has high expectations that you don’t meet, this could be a sign that he has a weak man in his life.
What are the warning signs of a weak man?
Unrealistic expectations are one of the most common warning signs of a weak man in a relationship. This is because they stem from a lack of knowledge, which is one of the symptoms of a weak man.
If you constantly have to educate your partner on how relationships work, or if he constantly has to explain himself, then this is a sign that he might not be up to the task.
If a man is willing to put his own health at risk, this could be a sign that he is not ready to settle down.
Self-neglect could be intentional or unintentional, but either way, it is a serious issue and should be confronted.
Healthy eating, regular exercise and adequate sleep are important parts of any healthy lifestyle, but if a man is not prioritising these things, this could be a sign that he does not want to settle down.
Admittedly, healthy relationships are built on healthy bodies.
If he neglects his own needs, it could mean that he is neglecting yours too. Self-neglect is usually a sign of depression or anxiety, and it’s important to be able to identify it.
If he is neglecting his own needs, he might not be able to take care of yours. He might not have the skills, and he might not be willing to learn. He could also be acting out in a way that is destructive, such as abusing drugs or alcohol.
19) He ignores you but finds time for everyone else
Does he put forth the effort to work on the relationship, but spends his time and energy on other things? Is his focus more on the needs of others rather than his own?
Or the man in your life has time for his friends, his family, his co-workers, but doesn’t have time for you. It’s a sure sign that your relationship is not important to him and therefore you should consider the possibility that it will never be important to him.
A weak man will not take responsibility for any part of his life.
He’ll hold your hand, spoon you soup and lay in bed with you while he dances with every girl he meets at the bar. This can be unsettling when you’re trying to get some alone time and expect a man who is strong enough to stand on his own two feet.
All of these warning signs paint a pretty bleak picture for someone who is in a relationship with a weak man.
Unfortunately, this article could go on for quite some time because there are so many warning signs. So, if you notice any of these signs, or others that aren’t listed here, it might be a good idea to get yourself a glass of wine, take a deep breath, and evaluate the situation carefully.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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