It’s true when they say that love is blind.
When you’re head over heels for someone, it’s so easy to ignore any red flags that pop up unexpectedly.
You have your love goggles on and you can only see the best in them.
It’s completely normal.
However, over time you start to notice things feel a little off.
Perhaps the signs were always there, and you just simply couldn’t see them?
If you’re wondering whether it’s normal or not, it’s time to check out these 15 signs of a disrespectful man, which shows it’s time to leave.
Time to work out whether your guy is more of a dud than stud!
15 signs of a disrespectful man (who does not deserve you)
1) He throws around the insults
While your man might disguise them as jokes, if he’s constantly taking a dig at you and the things you enjoy, then it’s time to take a step back.
Don’t be fooled into thinking this is just a small bit of fun.
He’s setting you up for his disrespectful behaviour. By getting away with these almost minor jabs that come flying at you all the time, you’ll start to let more of his behaviour fly under the radar down the track.
And he knows it.
He’s in the process of establishing his control in your relationship.
It’s time to get out now.
This type of behaviour will just get worse over time as he makes you feel comfortable with your new normal. It’s definitely not normal, and you deserve a lot better.
2) You’re not a priority in his life
When it comes to relationships, there’s always a fair bit of give and take. But when a man has little or no respect for you, you’ll notice that he treats you like an afterthought.
While you might prioritise him and put him over friends, family and other things in your life, it’s worth taking a pause and considering whether he does the same thing for you?
- How long does it take him to text you back?
- Does he often cancel on you when a better offer comes up?
- Do you have to fight for his attention and some one-on-one time?
If he truly respected you, he would find the time for you. You definitely wouldn’t have to fight for it. Instead, it’s more than likely that he’s bored and using you to pass the time.
Now’s your chance to give him the flick and find someone who is actually worth your time (and thinks the same of you).
3) He makes you doubt your potential
Any partner should always be standing right behind you, lifting you up and encouraging you to be the best you can.
It’s the beautiful boost that helps us reach our potential. If they believe in us, we start to as well.
If you’re starting to doubt your own potential thanks to things your partner has said, then take it as a warning side. It’s most definitely him, not you.
It’s his lack of respect for you that has you questioning your future, your dreams, and your general path in life.
If your man is disregarding your opinions and thoughts and putting down your dreams and hopes for the future, it’s a sure sign of disrespect. You deserve to be with someone who raises you up.
Escape this abusive relationship and find someone who can be right by your side, supporting your every dream.
4) He always leaves you waiting
It might not seem like a big deal in the moment. After all, he’s full of excuses.
There was traffic, he was talking to a coworker, he lost track of the time…
However, when it keeps happening again and again, it’s time to read the signs. He doesn’t value you and your time. Instead, he’s more than happy to leave you waiting due to the lack of respect he has for you.
If he’s always late to dates that you plan, it’s a sign of two things:
- He isn’t willing to put the effort in to show up on time for you.
- Talking to coworkers, or anyone else he crosses paths with on his way, is more important to him. He doesn’t care that you’re left waiting uncomfortably.
While it can look like poor time management and a busy person, you need to read between the lines and also recognise how disrespectful it is towards you.
5) He has no concern for your boundaries
Boundaries are important in a relationship. They are what make you feel comfortable and respected.
If your other half is constantly assuming your boundaries and pushing them, this is a big red flag that there’s no respect in this relationship.
He seems to think it’s OK to tell you what you should feel comfortable with, but that’s far from the truth.
Even though he’s aware of your boundaries, he decides to push them anyway, just to get what he wants.
Don’t mistake it for support. It’s easy to think he’s pushing these boundaries just to help you feel more comfortable, but that’s not it at all.
A respectful man will sit back and wait, offering support if and when it’s asked for. A respectful man will never assume to know what’s best for you, or push you into anything you have said you don’t want to do or say.
If you ever feel like your boundaries have been crossed, then it’s time to back out.
6) You feel like a possession
If you take a look at exactly what it means to be respectful, it all comes down to seeing a person as just that – a person. Someone with thoughts, feelings, emotions and morals, all of their own.
If you’re feeling more like a possession than a person, then it’s a huge sign that your man is disrespectful.
Are your thoughts heard?
Does he pay any attention to your feelings?
Does he care about your emotions?
Does he take notice of your morals?
If you’ve answered no to all of these, it’s clear that you are an object to him. He’s showing you just how little respect he actually has for you.
It’s time for you to walk away and find someone that is interested in treating you like a human being, not a pet.
7) He never keeps his promises
Not only is this frustrating, but it’s also very disrespectful.
If your man never keeps his promises and disappoints you time and time again, then it’s your turn to recognise him for what he is: disrespectful.
Things that are important to you, should also be important to him. You shouldn’t have to remind him each and every day.
Does he promise to call you and forget?
Does he forget important dates to you?
Does he promise to be at an event and cancel just beforehand? Or forget altogether?
It’s safe to safe that you don’t factor high on his list of priorities. His word means nothing at all to you, since you know he’s going to go ahead and break it anyway. Things that are important to you, simply don’t matter to him and he’s made that loud and clear.
Disrespectful men are incapable of keeping their promises.
You deserve someone who wants to be a part of your life and treat you the way you deserve.
Time to toss this guy aside and let him be someone else’s problem.
8) He doesn’t pay attention to what you say
This should be the bare minimum you should expect from a guy you’re seeing. For him to actually show an interest for what you have to say.
In fact, a decent guy would pay close attention and remember the little things. If they’re important to you, then he would treat them as equally important to him as well.
If your man always seems distracted when you talk, take it as a sign. Don’t give him all the excuses under the sun. It doesn’t matter if he’s busy, it doesn’t matter if he has a lot going on, if you’re talking, he should be listening.
Even worse if he pulls out his phone mid-conversation and gets lost in that instead.
Disrespectful men have no concern for another person’s feelings or emotions. He’s incapable of actually caring about you.
If he barely pays attention while you talk and doesn’t take in a word you say, then read the red flag.
It’s time for you to move on to something (someone) better.
9) He never says sorry
Let’s face it, we all make mistakes in life. It’s how we respond to these mistakes that says a lot about the type of person we are and what we value in life.
If your man is disrespectful, then you will find him incapable of apologising for any mistakes he has made – big or small.
Instead, he will flip them onto you and blame you for them.
For example, if he’s late to dinner one night, instead of apologising, he will blame you for not reminding him about the date. It’s always your fault and never his.
This behaviour is downright disrespectful and no one should be treated or made to feel this way.
If you’re copping the blame daily for all the mistakes that are made in your relationship, then back out now. This man has little respect for you as a person and it’s only going to get worse in time.
It’s time to show yourself a little dignity and walk away.
10) You catch him lying
Let’s be honest, lies have no place in any relationship.
In order for a relationship to thrive, it needs to be built on a mutual trust that you have for one another.
If you keep catching your man out in lie after lie, it’s time for you to take pause and consider whether this relationship is right for you.
If you’ve already caught him in multiple lies, it’s safe to say that he has probably gotten away with plenty more during that time.
That says a lot about him and his personality.
Is this someone you see a future with?
Can you honestly say you trust him at all?
Dishonesty is a disrespectful and destructive behaviour that will only ruin your relationship in time. So, jump ship early before you get hurt.
If he’s constantly lying to you, it’s a sign that he doesn’t care enough about the impact it has on you. And if he can’t be honest with the small things in your relationship, then what big things is he hiding?
Don’t just sweep the lies under the rug and try and move past them.
Excuses will only get you so far. You need to recognise your disrespectful man for who he is and walk away now.
11) He gives you the silent treatment
It’s normal for couples to fight. And sure, we often need a little time to cool off before coming back together and working through the issues.
If your partner gives you the silent treatment and refuses to actually address the issues at all, this is a big problem.
Your issues won’t just go away because you ignore them. Instead, he’s taking control of the situation and showing you a lot of disrespect. While you might think it’s a lot easier than actually fighting, this lack of communication is unhealthy.
In the end, your partner will start getting away with more and more. By walking off and ignoring you each time, he’s showing you that your feelings don’t matter.
Next time he does it, try and get him to open up and actually talk about things. If he refuses, it’s a huge sign that he’s disrespectful and has no concern for you and your feelings.
12) He makes all the decisions without you
From what your plans are that day to where you’re both going to live, if your man is the sole decisions maker then it’s time to recognise him for what he is: disrespectful.
Being in a couple means compromising and working together on all the decisions, both big and small.
If he hasn’t even bothered to ask you, it’s a clear sign that your opinion means very little to him.
You should have an equal say in anything that affects the both of you. Never settle for less.
13) He’s always secretive
Does your man keep secrets from you?
Whether he’s texting other women behind your back, or simply picks and chooses what information he tells you about his day, this is a disrespectful attitude.
Relationships are all about open communication and honesty, and if you aren’t getting that from him, it’s a big sign that he has little respect for you.
14) You’re losing yourself
One way to tell if your man is disrespectful is that you feel the need to change when you’re around him.
You mould yourself into the person you know he wants you to be, just to make him happy.
If you’re in a relationship, then your man should love and appreciate you for who you are. If he doesn’t it shows just how disrespectful he is.
You shouldn’t have to change for any man. If your man can’t appreciate and love you for who you are, then take it as a sign that he isn’t the right one for you.
If he’s not willing to compromise, why should you?
15) He goes out of his way to hurt you
This has to be one of the biggest signs of a disrespectful man. When he actually goes out of his way to bring you down and hurt you.
If your man does and says things, knowing that they will hurt and upset you, then it’s clear that not only does he not respect you, but he probably never will.
It’s time to stop making excuses for this man and to see him for who he really is. You deserve a man that you feel comfortable around. One who cares about your feelings, listens to you, always turns up and who you can trust. It’s time to stop making excuses for the man you currently have in your life.
These excuses are going to catch up with you down the track, creating even bigger issues between the two of you.
Can you fix it?
When you’re in a disrespectful relationship, it’s clear that things need to change. Most of the time, the best answer is to just cut your losses and walk away.
It’s hard to change the attitude of a disrespectful man and it’s not something that will happen overnight.
If you’re willing to put in the hard yards, then start by confronting him and calling him out on his behaviour.
See how he responds.
If he gets defensive and immediately places the blame on you, then recognise your relationship for what it is right now and walk away.
It might hurt, but it’s the best thing for you.
Don’t settle for a disrespectful man – you deserve so much more.
On the other hand, if he listens and is willing to work on it, then you have a shot at salvaging the relationship.
One of the best things you can do, is trigger his hero instinct.
The concept is simple: all men want to be an everyday hero. Triggering this instinct in your man is a chance to flip the relationship around completely.
Start by watching this free video which explains the hero instinct and how you can use it in practical ways to improve your relationship.
No one is perfect, of course. Still, you can only build a happy future with someone who respects who you are, encourages you to grow into a better person, and works hard to deserve you every day.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.