One of the hardest things about a breakup is losing the person you feel closest to.
There’s no pain like it.
The thought they could be out of your life for good is heartbreaking.
How do you know if your ex will ever contact you again? And what if you never hear from your ex again?
This guide will show you the signs your ex is truly done with you, and what to do about it.
1) They are ignoring your messages
You’ve sent more than one message reaching out but haven’t heard anything back.
Maybe it was a casual “hey”, or a much more emotional plea. But regardless of your approach, they ignore your attempts to try and bridge the gap between you.
If your ex has been ignoring your messages, then obviously it means that they don’t want to speak to you right now.
This alone doesn’t mean it will be forever. They may just need some time to cool off.
But combined with other signs on the list, your ex ignoring your messages indicates they could want you out of their life for good.
2) They’ve unfriended and unfollowed
There are so many ways to stay in touch these days.
Most of us are aware of how important social media can be in keeping connected.
Plenty of exes, even when they live very separate lives, still stay connected on social media.
They may not talk all that often but they still remain friends and followers on their socials.
If your ex has unfollowed you and removed you from all their accounts, it’s a bold statement they don’t want you to be involved in their daily life.
3) You had a toxic relationship
Toxic relationships are draining and eventually take their toll.
The push and pull cycles of drama can mean that it feels like the only way out is to completely cut ties, or risk getting sucked back in again.
It’s hard to imagine being able to move forward after having such an intense experience if you keep your ex in your life.
If you think you and your ex have a pretty toxic connection, then you may not hear from them once you break up.
4) They say they want no contact
Perhaps your anxiety that you may never speak again is because your ex has told you that they don’t want contact with you right now.
Maybe they’ve even said that they can’t see you, speak to you or be friends.
This is particularly painful because you may feel desperate to speak to them, and feel like you have zero control over it.
So what can you do in this situation? Send this “No Communication” text:
“You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.”
This one needs to be sent to your ex at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with them that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need them to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex which will trigger their attraction for you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
5) They’re with someone new
The more that your ex moves on, the less likely they are to stay in your life.
If they’re just dating someone else there is less room for you. As sad as it is to hear, you become less of a priority to your ex.
It’s not that you’ve been replaced, as every connection is different. But the new relationship clearly takes precedence.
They are less likely to miss you when their attention is on someone else. They may even feel like it’s inappropriate to stay in touch if their new partner isn’t happy about an ex in the picture.
6) They are acting really cold
Some people say it’s a bad sign when your ex is angry with you. I disagree. That at least shows they still care.
What’s actually worse than your ex being mad is them being indifferent and showing cooll detachment.
If your ex is upset with you, it’s ultimately because they are feeling hurt. The root cause of anger is usually sadness. Once those feelings fade, they might still come around.
But being frosty and indifferent towards you signals something else:
It means their defense mechanisms are kicking in to protect them.
So if they aren’t showing any residual feelings or affection for you, it sounds like a) their guard is up b) their feelings for you have gone.
Similarly, if they are calmly telling you it’s over, they’re more likely to mean it than if it comes in the heat of strong emotions.
7) You did something pretty unforgivable
I obviously don’t know the particulars of your breakup.
But generally speaking, it makes sense that the worse you behaved, the more likely it is that they will never speak to you.
Maybe you cheated on them, betrayed them, or hurt them badly somehow.
If you messed up really badly and you know it, they may want you gone from their life for good.
8) They block you
Blocking anyone sends a very strong signal.
It’s a big door slamming in your face and is the message that your access rights have been removed.
I think it also depends on how long it’s been since you broke up and how long ago they blocked you.
I have a friend who is always having arguments with her boyfriend and blocking him, but a few days later they make up.
But if it’s been some time and you have remained blocked then they clearly mean it.
9) You parted on really bad terms
Ok, no breakups are pleasant. Pain, sadness, and anger too are common features of any split.
But if things got really nasty between you too, then you may be less likely to stay in touch afterward.
It’s easier to keep in contact and even be friends when the breakup was more amicable.
If you both said some hurtful things, or if one of you acted out of line, then it’s harder to forgive and forget.
10) Your ex has moved on
Especially if you’re not speaking it might not be so easy to tell what your ex is up to now or how they are doing.
But if your ex seems to be happily moving on with their lives, chances are they are less likely to be focused on you anymore.
You might see posts of your ex out having a good time, and it seems like they’re enjoying single life.
They may be working on themselves, trying out new hobbies, studying or broadening their horizons.
These are all telltale signs they are moving on without you.
11) They’re physically avoiding you
They haven’t been showing up to events they know or suspect you will be at.
They’ve stopped going to the places that you went together.
Maybe they change gyms because you used the same one, or they’ve switched coffee shops to avoid running into you.
If you were expecting you would have bumped into them by now and haven’t, they could be avoiding you completely.
12) They’ve removed all traces of you from their life
When you truly want to move on, having reminders of your ex around can be super painful.
When I know it’s really over one of the first things I do after a breakup is to cleanse them from my life.
That means giving back all their stuff, and collecting mine. It also means getting rid of any of the things that bring memories of our time together.
The more someone seeks to erase your presence from their life, the more it’s like you didn’t even exist.
13) What would an expert say?
While this article will shed light on the main signs your ex may never talk to you again, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like breakups and reconciliations. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
14) It’s been months and they still haven’t reached out
I’m sorry to say, but the longer it is without communication the less likely it is that you will speak.
It’s often in the earlier stages of a breakup that we really start to miss someone.
So it’s in the first few weeks that our resolve to avoid contact starts to fade and we give in.
But if it’s dragging on into months and they still don’t want to talk, then the likelihood that they have started to heal and move on increases with time.
15) You get the feeling they never really cared about you
Did it always feel like your ex had one foot out of the door throughout your relationship?
If you know there were strong signs your ex never loved you, then it is going to be easier for them to leave you behind.
Maybe they have already broken up with you several times, they remained distant and noncommittal throughout your time together, or you felt an unbalanced connection — where you were more into them than they were into you.
It’s easier for them to move on because they never got in that deep in the first place.
16) They tell other people they are done with you
It’s not just you that they say it’s over to.
They’ve told their family, friends and even your friends that they don’t want to talk to you.
Sharing this info with other people means they are less likely to back down and change their mind.
17) You know they aren’t in contact with any of their exes
You know what they say, the biggest indicator of future behavior is past behavior.
Some people are happy to stay in their exes’ lives, be friends and keep the door open to something else happening at some stage.
Other people are more cutthroat about it. For them, it’s out of sight out of mind. They prefer to have a totally clean break.
If you know your ex is one of the latter, then they are also likely to follow this same pattern with you.
18) They cut ties with your mutual friends and acquaintances
It’s not just you they are avoiding and don’t want to speak to. They’ve also removed themselves from your shared circles.
They have taken themselves out of group Whatsapp chats. They have distanced themselves from any mutual friend. And they are cutting off all links to your old life together.
It shows they are ready to make a clean break and don’t want to be involved in anything that might bring you together again.
19) It’s never happened before
Some couples fall into on and off again cycles. They break up and make up. They cut ties but end up back together again.
If you have fallen out and broken up before, but eventually worked things out then you might assume the same thing could happen this time too.
But if they have never ignored you or cut contact before, then there is a greater chance that they do really mean it.
“My ex doesn’t want to speak to me” — What to do about it
What if I never hear from my ex again? It’s an unsettling thought when you are dealing with a breakup.
You may feel powerless over your fate, but you do have more control than you think.
Don’t panic, here’s what to do:
Give them space
I know this may be the last thing you want to hear.
When it feels like you are losing your ex from your life, you often feel more compelled to cling on or get through to them.
But this fear of loss that you are experiencing they are also likely to feel too.
That’s why some people use no contact as a way of trying to get through to their ex.
The unfortunate reality is that the more you chase them, the more they are likely to pull away. It is only by giving them space that you give them the opportunity to miss you.
With some time and distance they can come to realize that they do want you in their life in some way.
Particularly if they have explicitly told you they don’t want contact, you need to respect their wishes and back off a bit. This is also your best tactic if you want them to come around.
Get on with your own life
All that time on your hands can make you dwell on the breakup. That’s not only going to make you more miserable, but you certainly aren’t going to be more appealing to your ex whilst you mope around.
As challenging as it can feel, try to get on with your own life in the meantime.
- See friends
- Try new things
- Exercise and get outdoors to release feel good hormones.
- Do things that make you feel better
The more your ex sees you getting on with your life the more likely they will worry about being left behind.
It also presents the best and most desirable image of you to your ex.
Do you want them back?
Give yourself some time to figure out what you want from your ex.
It’s natural to miss an ex, but that doesn’t always mean it’s a good idea to have them in our lives.
What do you want from them? Do you want to be friends? Do you want to get back together? Or could it be that you just need to adjust to not having them around?
If you do want to get them back but you worry it’s too late for that, there are still things you can try.
This relates back to what Brad Browning taught me – there are simple ways to get your ex back.
I mentioned Brad earlier, he’s an expert at helping couples work through their issues and rebuild their relationships.
With practical tips to help you get your ex back, his advice could be just what you need to get the lines of communication open again.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.