So, you’ve met a guy who you like (a lot) and the two of you have been texting, hanging out, and hooking up, but you’re starting to question where you stand with this feller.
When you’re super interested in someone, it can be difficult to be objective. Our love goggles tend to blind us and cloud our judgment.
Thankfully, you’ve come across my article! There are very clear and very apparent signs that he’s not worth your time, so sit back and read on to find out more. You’ll be glad you did and will thank me for saving you the headache.
I’ve got your back, girl! You’re welcome.
1) He seldom (never) answers your text messages
It’s crazy to think that up until a few years ago, we didn’t have the luxury of sending text messages.
Back in the good ol’ days, messaging your flame meant putting pen to paper, posting it, and then waiting patiently for a response.
Texting plays a huge role in modern-day courtships and it’s the most common method we use to correspond with our significant other.
So, with that said if you find yourself doing all the texting and not receiving anything back in return, this is a strong sign that he’s not the commitment type.
Understandably, not everyone is glued to their phones 24/7 but when this non-texting becomes a habit and your goodnight or good morning text gets ignored, take it for what it is.
He’s not bothered with you and you should delete his number and move on
2) He’s allergic to commitment
You’ve enjoyed a few great dates, hanging out together, and chatting – all signs that things are going well until you bring up the questions that commitment-phobes fear “so, are we an item?”
At this point, he’s changing the subject, “answering an important” call, and doing everything possible to avoid giving you an answer.
It could be that he’s not ready to label you as his girlfriend yet, but, more likely he does not incline whatsoever towards making you his girlfriend.
It’s difficult to tell the difference but you’ll need to read between the lines to figure out if he’s simply not ready, or if he’s just hanging around you because he just wants to hook up.
If you’re looking for long-term boyfriend material and he’s more of a weekend special, chances are he is not ready to settle. I know that hurts, but you’ll be ok. Move on now before your feelings get too intense.
3) There’s no emotional connection
A naughty hookup has its benefits but being in a relationship is so much more satisfying.
Wining and dining (and other things) are fun but establishing a bond with someone and connecting with them on a higher level is something most of us strive for.
In terms of your current guy, do you have loads to talk about, and can you open up to him about your feelings, your dreams, and your deepest fears?
Do you feel like you can trust him and do you feel an emotional connection with him?
Healthy and happy relationships thrive when an emotional connection is present with your partner so if you have doubts about anything I’ve said here, take it as a sign that you’re on a one-way cruise to nowhere island.
4) He’s not a hit with your friends or family
I’m sure you know that familiar and awkward experience of introducing your new man to your family and friends.
Your nerves are wrecked because you’re worried that they’re not going to like him, and aren’t going to get along. If the meeting goes well, then good for you! If it goes poorly, you need to pay attention to the feedback you get from your loved ones.
They know you better than you know yourself. Of course, they could be judging him too harshly or, they’re simply just a#$holes but, they have the outsider perspective and can pick up things your love-infested brain simply can’t.
Don’t disregard their opinions, especially if they feel the two of you are completely incompatible. Let him go. The right one will come along when he’s meant to.
5) He doesn’t support your passions
They say opposites attract and most of us enjoy dating people who are our polar opposites.
This is not a problem, nor is it a problem if you don’t share the same enthusiasm for each other’s hobbies and interests.
What matters is that your core values are aligned.
However, if your boyfriend isn’t the slightest bit interested in your hobbies – run. Even if you both have different interests, you should both be supportive of each other’s pursuits.
For example, you love karaoke and it’s something you’ve done for years. Even if he doesn’t raise his hand and fall over his feet to belt out a duet with you, he can still be present to encourage and support you.
So, if getting him to attend an event feels more like a chore and he’s declining them 90% of the time, it’s time to face reality and move on.
6) He makes you feel self-conscious
Self-confidence is a huge struggle for most and the pressure to look like a real-life Instagram filter is becoming more and more alarming.
Us ladies are bombarded daily with unrealistic beauty expectations with all kinds of potions, pills, and things to make us sexier and more appealing.
With that said, you need to date someone who boosts your self-esteem and who makes you feel confident and beautiful, not insecure.
A man that makes you feel bad about yourself by body shaming you, making suggestions on how you should do your make-up, what you should wear or, how you can enhance yourself cosmetically needs to be given the boot. IMMEDIATELY.
You are unique and beautiful in your own way and if he can’t see it, then he needs to go. Never let a man make you feel like you’re not good enough.
7) He checks out other girls
When you’re in the process of making a commitment to a specific person, checking out other dudes needs to stop.
You’ll always notice attractive people around but it’s not appropriate to tell your boyfriend how hot the guy at the gym was.
If you’re looking at your man as a long-term partner, you probably won’t even think of mentioning the cute gym guy to him. Your boyfriend should be on the same wavelength here.
If he’s continually talking about other girls, like how pretty that one is, or how sexy the other is, in front of you it’s utterly disrespectful and is a big warning sign.
So, once you guys have decided to become an item and this behavior continues, sadly he’s proving that he’s not worth your time and you need to call time of death on your relationship.
8) He still uses Tinder (and other dating apps)
Oh my gosh, seriously! Ladies, if you are dating a man who’s still busy on Tinder, what the actual. It should be deleted!
Any excuse like, “Oh, I use it to make friends” or “Oh, I didn’t want to lose our first conversation” is absolute rubbish. Take your blinkers off girlfriend!
If he is sincerely interested in getting to know you better and wanting more for the two of you, Tinder should have been deleted already.
If you’re single and looking for an easy hook-up – no problem but using the app when you’re with someone is an absolute dealbreaker.
So, in essence, if your man insists on keeping his Tinder app he’s basically showing you that he’s still swiping right. Do the big girl thing and swipe him to the left of your life.
9) He’s permanently on his phone
This one really gets under my skin! Yes, I know, we’re severely dependent on our phones. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter give us all FOMO but; there comes a time when you need to down tools.
When you’re spending time with someone special, it’s polite to put your phone away and engage with that person.
You should be able to enjoy each other’s company and have real conversations without worrying about your mobile phone.
If you’re with a guy whose phone seems glued to his hands every time you hang out, this is a huge red flag.
It’s a sign that he’s not phased about spending time with you and that what’s happening on social media is far more interesting than you.
It’s disrespectful and just plain rude.
Also, does your man seem edgy when his phone rings or when he receives messages? This could allude to him hiding something from you.
If you’re currently facing this problem, take it as a billboard-sized wake-up that he’s not worth another single minute of your time.
Thank you, Next.
10) He bails and cancels on you
Good old QT (quality time) is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
Spending time together and having fun strengthens your bond and there’s nothing more exciting than trying new things with the person who you love.
With that said, if your new boyfriend can’t seem to stick to the plan and he’s keen and eager to your face but bails on you with a text, he doesn’t view you as important.
There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to make plans with someone who keeps bailing on you, nor is there any point.
Find someone eager to share good times with you and one who doesn’t cancel at the 11th hour. If your current man doesn’t tick this box, it’s time to stop wasting precious time.
11) He’s just looking for a booty call
Intimacy is not the taboo subject it used to be in fact, it’s how most people start relationships these days.
Physical intimacy is an important aspect of a healthy relationship, however, it’s not the be-all and end-all. There are many other facets to a relationship, not just sex.
If you’re with a guy who’s only interested in one thing, and being friends with benefits describes your setup, trying to be his girlfriend is pointless.
Trying to coerce someone into a relationship, when they’re only looking for something physical is a bad idea, you’re going to get hurt.
So, if you’re realizing that your man only hits you up to attend to his “needs” – move on.
12) He criticizes you and brings up the past
Hands up if you’ve done something you’re not proud of. Indeed, we’ve all made mistakes and no one is perfect.
If your boyfriend has a knack for holding your past against you and enjoys throwing it in your face, this is a telltale sign that you’re wasting your time.
In any relationship, accepting your partner’s past is part of the deal.
We’re constantly evolving and learning from our mistakes so if your partner fails to recognize this, you’re in trouble.
Chances are, he will never move on and you will always be judged on the person who you were, rather than on the person who you are today.
13) You’re an option, not a priority
We all value different things but some are higher in priority than others, mostly family and close friends.
If you’re dating someone who constantly chooses to spend time with others over you, who blows you off, or who ignores your texts and calls, unfortunately, you’ve become an option. Not a priority
Everyone and everything else is more important than you.
If you’re in a situation where you need their help, can you honestly say that they’ll move mountains to help you?
If this has resonated with you, you need to evaluate your relationship with this person and make the decision whether or not you’re ok with playing the second fiddle.
14) Trust issues
Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship so if you can’t trust someone how do you expect to date them?
Once trust is broken, you might as well throw in the towel and if your man has given you a reason to not trust him, take this as a sign that you’re wasting your time.
Shady behavior, little white lies, and hiding things from you is a big red flag.
15) He runs his mouth
Your relationship is nobody else’s business and some things need to remain private between the two of you.
If you’re with someone who’s been sharing inside intel with his friends and “talking outside of the bedroom”, you need to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship.
Men do like to brag, understandably because you’re such a catch, but; some things should remain unsaid, especially if he values you as a partner.
So, if after reading this article you’ve found yourself saying yes to most of these statements, girl, you’re in trouble.
Clearly, the guy you are with is not deserving of you and you need to take action.
Instead of having Mr. Right now, rather hold out for Mr. Right. When you find him, you’ll understand why things didn’t work out with anyone else.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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