It’s sad to think we live in a world where faking a relationship is actually a thing.
But with social media playing such a large part in our lives, there is a greater need to pretend for the world and give off the image of a happy relationship.
There are a number of reasons a guy might be choosing to be in ‘fake’ relationships with you.
We are often drawn to each other through physical attraction. It’s what first builds that connection for many couples. But, that attraction doesn’t always lead to emotions. While your man is doing and saying all the right things, he’s in it for the physical side.
He might also simply be a narcissist. Someone who loves to be loved but isn’t interested in loving back.
Or, he may simply believe he is in love with you. Everyone else is in relationships and you two have built an online presence together, he now believes his own lie that he has set up.
No matter what the reason is, you deserve so much more than being in a fake relationship.
Here are 10 signs to help you spot one from a mile away, so you can drop the baggage and go and find something that’s real.
10 signs he’s faking the relationship
1) He rarely makes time for you
No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it’s about making time for each other to build on those feelings and help that connection continue to grow.
If you’re finding your man is only on your doorstep when he’s after sex, it’s a good sign the rest of the relationship is fake.
There are no dates, he doesn’t take you out, you don’t go places, and talking is usually off the agenda. It’s a purely physical attraction and in his eyes, there’s nothing more to it.
Even after the sex is over, there’s not cuddling involved. This is an intimate sign of affection that is missing in fake relationships. Think about what happens after sex? Does he roll over and go to sleep? Get up straight away and leave?
If you always seem to be alone after sex. Or at least feeling alone after sex. Take it as a sign your relationship isn’t a solid one.
Sure, he’s physically attracted to you and wants you, but he isn’t interested in the feelings and emotions that come from being in a relationship together. If this is something you’re looking for, then it’s time to ditch the dead weight now.
2) He doesn’t listen to anything you say
Being in a relationship is all about getting to know each other, and this is done through our stories. We go on dates and share snippets of our lives as we open up to each other.
For example, you might share a childhood story about the time you found a spider in your room and had to go call your dad in to kill it. But, he couldn’t find it! So, you refused to sleep in your room that night because you were so scared. And to this day, you’re still petrified of spiders.
It’s a little anecdote that opens up a little about who you are a person today. Yet, when you come across a spider, he doesn’t remember a thing.
He simply tells you not to be a baby about it and can’t even seem to remember you ever telling him you didn’t like spiders.
When someone isn’t interested in you, they also aren’t interested in what you have to say.
It’s clear that this guy isn’t paying any attention to who you are as a person, and is hanging around for all the wrong reasons.
If you’re starting to feel like you’re talking to a brick wall, then it’s time to plan your exit route.
3) He doesn’t open up to you
On the flip side, think about the conversations the two of you have had together. Is he ever willing to dive into his personal life? Does he share stories from when he was a child? How much do you really know about him?
There’s a good chance he’s keeping his feelings safely guarded because he simply isn’t interested. Of course, some guys just aren’t great at sharing emotions. So, how do you tell the difference?
Start asking him some probing questions. Pushing into his childhood and early years. See how he responds. A little nudge might be all he needs to start spilling bits over time.
If he’s not interested, he will shut down. He is much more likely to change the topic and avoid any prying questions. It’s a good indication you’re in a fake relationship and the feelings just aren’t there.
4) He pays the most attention to you in front of his friends
Do you notice that when you’re out with his friends, he suddenly has an arm wrapped around your waist at all times? Almost like you’re his possession that he is showing off.
This is in stark contrast to what he is like when the two of you are alone. When he simply doesn’t have the time of day for you.
It shows that he is putting on the relationship for show. Whether or not the feelings are there, he knows you’re a catch and wants all his friends to know you’re his. His charm has been taken up a good few notches and you almost don’t recognise him.
There are kisses on the head, hand-holding, he waits on you…
But the minute you leave, all this disappears and you’re back to square one.
He’s putting on an act. He wants to show the world he’s in a relationship but isn’t actually committed to one.
It’s all for show.
It’s all fake.
5) You haven’t met his parents
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, then it’s natural to be thinking about that next step: meeting the parents.
Yet, whenever you bring it up, he seems to avoid the topic like the plague. He also shows no interest in meeting your parents or getting to know your family.
It’s a good sign that he’s not invested in the relationship at all. He knows it’s not going anywhere and isn’t interested in incorporating you into his life.
Let’s be honest, if he doesn’t have feelings for you, then introducing you to his inner circle is just unnecessary in his eyes.
He’s simply using you, with no plans for the future.
Take it as a sign that the relationship isn’t real and the emotions aren’t there.
6) Your friends don’t like him
What do your friends have to say about the guy?
While you might be blinded by your feelings for him, they are the ones looking out for you and will be able to spot all these signs much faster than you.
They will notice how he treats you out in public and will be able to see through any fake act he’s putting on.
If they’re feeling that something is off, then there’s a good chance something is.
Our friends are our sounding boards in relationships. While our emotions take over, it’s our friends who ground us and genuinely have our best interests at heart.
If your friends keep bringing up their concerns about your relationship with you, then it’s time to listen to them. They want you to be happy, and it isn’t easy for them to bring up these concerns. But they know it’s the right thing to do for you.
Forget all the excuses about them not knowing the real him and only seeing one side of him and be completely honest with yourself.
A fake relationship often looks fake from the outside, you’re the only one that’s not seeing it.
7) You never talk about the future
When you fall in love with someone, the future is always on the cards.
You imagine your lives together, what it would be like, and whether or not you’re a good fit for each other.
It’s part of the process of getting to know each other while you’re dating and whether or not you share the same life values.
You talk about where you want to live.
You talk about whether or not you want kids.
You talk about where you see yourself in 10 years.
If your guy refuses to open up about the future, it’s a good sign it’s not on his radar. At all. He doesn’t feel the need to share these details with you, as he knows you’re not going to be by his side.
It could be something as simple as planning a weekend getaway in a month’s time. If he’s refusing to commit to you, even in the short-term future, then it’s a good sign that he knows things aren’t going anywhere.
He has no future plans that involve you, and there’s a reason for that.
It’s time to think about your own future, and finding someone who actually wants to spend it with you.
8) He’s never there for you
One of the best signs you’re in a fake relationship is that he’s never there for you when you actually need him.
Whether you’re going through a crisis with a friend, or are moving home and need some help in the process, it turns out, he’s not interested.
It’s a relationship of convenience for him, and helping you out and being there for you when you need him simply isn’t convenient.
You can tell it’s a fake relationship through the simple fact that he doesn’t care. He holds a complete lack of concern for your needs or feelings and puts himself first.
If you keep feeling very alone during the tough times, then it’s clear you aren’t in a loving relationship. Your partner should be there for you through these periods, holding your hand and caring about your emotions.
A fake relationship isn’t worth the emotional toll it takes on you.
He’s not worth it.
9) Every day feels like a power game
Is your relationship beginning to feel like a battle from the moment you wake up in the morning? All about winning that next argument.
If you notice that your man is always needing to prove his point and putting his ego in place of his feelings, it’s a good sign you’re in a fake relationship.
Fights come with every relationship. They’re very normal. But it takes one partner stepping down and conceding to end the fight and it’s all about choosing your battles.
If you are losing every fight and he’s never willing to step down and let you have it, then it’s time to start questioning your relationship. Relationships aren’t about always being right. They’re about compromise and making it work between the two of you.
If he’s not willing to compromise for you…ever, then there’s no feelings or future in this relationship.
10) You haven’t triggered his hero instinct
Believe it or not, all men have this biological need to be wanted and essential.
They don’t even know about this most of the time.
It’s a concept called the hero instinct, and the term was first coined by relationship expert James Bauer. It’s a game-changer.
The idea is simple, if you haven’t triggered the hero instinct in your man, then he’s never going to commit to you.
Men want to step up for a woman. But, it’s not something they simply do from the kindness of their heart. They do it because they feel compelled to. Because their hero instinct has been triggered and they gain great satisfaction from being your everyday hero.
Sure, you don’t need a hero in your life. I completely get that, but it’s about making him feel this way and giving him a sense of purpose in the relationship. Don’t worry, there’s no superhero capes or actual saving the day.
If you want to learn more about the hero instinct and how you can trigger it in your man, watch this free video.
Who knows, you just might be able to turn your fake relationship into something very, very real. It’s certainly worth a try if it’s what you want.
At the end of the day, you may simply want to cut your losses and move on. And who can blame you? Discovering you’re in a fake relationship isn’t something anyone wants.
While you were emotionally invested, he was simply toying with your feelings for his own agenda.
Cutting ties is often the best move, giving you the chance to start afresh with someone who genuinely cares.
The most important thing is recognising that your relationship isn’t going anywhere and making the best decision for you and your future.
Everyone deserves real love in their life.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
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