11 obvious signs he’s afraid of losing you

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You know your world would fall apart without him, but does he feel the same way?

Guys aren’t the most forthcoming with their feelings, which is a shame since most women would love to be reassured from time to time, especially on the subject of commitment.

So we’ve put together 11 signs that he’s seriously afraid of losing you, and if there’s any doubt left over, a few tips on what you can do to make him cherish you even more: 

11 signs he is afraid of losing you

1) He always finds time to be with you

If your man has no problem canceling all of his other plans just to be with you, you have him hook, line, and sinker — he is afraid of losing you.

He is often the one to initiate dates and no one can stop him from showing at your door in the middle of the night. Of course, he is only a human being, so some circumstances make this hardly possible.

But if he truly values you, he will always make you a priority of his. Also, you will never feel that you smother him because he always enjoys your company.

2) He cares about how you feel

With him, you feel safe. And your heart can feel it deeply too.

He treats your feelings like a fragile treasure. He isn’t rash and he is prudent when it comes to matters that concern you. He will never get back at you even when he is upset. 

When he knows the things that hurt you, he will do his best to avoid those. You and your feelings matter to him.

3) He gives you gifts for no apparent reason

A man in love is a man who’s willing to give his all — at any moment.

Because he fears a break-up, he often surprises you with small gifts for just any random occasion. It’s his way of showing how much you mean to him.

And let’s be honest: receiving gifts now and then makes us feel very special, eh?

He has put so much thought into them. There is nothing more beautiful in his world than seeing a smile on your face and being the one who caused it.

These gifts can be seen as acts of service. While this is a love language for both men and women, for men it often ties into their desire to be needed.

This desire is an innate part of their makeup, in fact, it’s instinctual. According to relationship James Bauer, it’s something called the hero instinct.

This hero instinct is the drive behind every action that a man makes, but here’s the catch: less than 10% of men even know what it is, and even fewer women.

This free video talks about it in further detail

Not only will you learn what this instinct is, but you’ll also learn how you can tap into it. Once you do, your man will be dedicated, loyal, and full of commitment and love.

It’s worth checking out. Here’s a link to that free video again.

4) He avoids any form of a fight with you

When a man fears losing you, he will do everything he can to avoid fighting.

He thinks that losing you is the worst thing that could happen to him so he will never risk it happening.

Even if he doesn’t agree with something you’re saying, he will back down a bit and won’t make a fight out of it because he doesn’t want to make you feel disrespected.

He doesn’t raise his voice nor does he use harsh words that might hurt you.

He cares about you enough that he’s willing to give up on an argument just to make you feel safe and valued.

However, it’s nearly impossible to avoid fights in a relationship, so…

5) He makes sure your fights don’t last more than a day

There’s no way he can go without talking to you for days.

When the anger subsides, it doesn’t matter to him who is right and who is wrong — he will be the first to apologize.

It doesn’t matter anymore what you were fighting about. He will find ways to get you two talking again. It might be a bit cold at first, but before you know it — the baby talk is back!

6) He puts effort into sorting things out

In connection to number 5, if after a fight and then reconciliation, he still feels there is something that’s bothering you, he won’t just abandon the issue at that. 

He will let you feel that he gets you and he will hear you vent because he understands you need to let it all out. He is all ears in discussing things till all the creases are ironed out.

You will feel heard and your feelings validated. It will make you so happy you’ll wonder what’s wrong with all the other men before him.

7) Want advice specific to your situation?

While this article will shed light on the main signs he’s afraid of losing you, I’d recommend speaking to a certified relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like dealing with a man who is afraid of losing you. Their popularity is a testament to how skilled their coaches are.

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to a coach for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.

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8) He cares about your family members and friends

A guy who loves you loves (or wants to love) everyone you love.

This is because the people who mean something to you mean something to him as well. Thus, he makes sure that you know that he gets along with all the people that are important and close to you.

He wants them to like him too. But, of course, he will do this in such a way he doesn’t seem desperate. But just know that this happens because he fears he might lose you.

9) He wants to meet all of your needs

When a guy fears losing you, he strives to help make all your dreams come true.

He goes the extra mile and does things he doesn’t normally do just to satisfy your needs. Making you stay with him is his top priority and he will be ready to do anything in his power to make you do.

Most importantly, he will never question the rationality of your dreams. He will respect you and just simply help you achieve those.

He won’t think twice about painting the town green if that’s what makes you happy.

10) He hates to make you feel unheard or unloved

While many people love the way they want to love, a man who is deeply devoted to his woman feels that he should love the way his partner wants to be loved.

He gives you as much love as you feel the need to receive. Whatever matters to you, matters to him. This is because you’re a woman he truly, madly, deeply cares about and respects. 

If you ask for his attention, he doesn’t think of you as needy – he gives it to you without question or pause.

11) He pictures your future together

When a man wants to be with you for the long-term, he plans for the future — with you in it.

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself, in the middle of the night, discussing with him about travel destinations, countries to move and settle in, marriage locations, or even children’s names.

He already imagines your future together so vividly and he wants to make sure that it turns out the way he has pictured it would. And he doesn’t want these musings to end, so he constantly brings up the topic of your future together at any moment.

If you have this guy, tell him how much you want to be with him in that future too.


A relationship is an investment. So just like any form of investment, due diligence is needed when finding whom you share your life with.

Be with someone who truly deserves all of you and be with someone who would never risk losing you. Be with a guy who executes his love — with actions, effort, patience. 

On the other hand, never hold on to someone who only wants to be there when it’s good for him.

In short, don’t ever be afraid to lose anyone who is not afraid to lose you.

Want to know some more ways you can make your guy afraid of losing you? Take a look at these amazing bonus tips below.

Bonus: 9 things you can do to make your guy afraid of losing you

For your guy to step up, he needs to be afraid of losing you. 

No, this doesn’t make you a manipulative partner. It’s about knowing your worth and letting him know that you’ll walk away if something isn’t what you want. And this is how you’re going to do it.

1) Keep your options open

This is applicable if you just started dating. Hence, he doesn’t explicitly mention he’s committing himself to you yet.

Women often make this mistake:

They commit way too soon and then they put unrealistic expectations on the guy.

Maybe she gets upset if she catches him talking to another girl or says she feels “unwanted” when he doesn’t text her every hour.

Right off the bat:

This isn’t the way you treat someone to make him stay. You’re doing the opposite.

Instead, keep your options open. Observe him. Give him the sense that he may lose you if he doesn’t step up his game and claim you as his. This is how you can get the commitment that you want.

If he knows you’re obsessed with him and you’ll just wait until he decides to commit to the relationship, then he’ll drag it out as long as possible.

2) Connect with him on an emotionally intimate level

Think of the time you felt very close and connected to your partner.

We all desire to be emotionally connected to our significant other. When you have created a safe zone for your man to express himself, he will miss you when he feels disconnected from you.

3) Leave him wanting more

If he feels he doesn’t fully have you yet, he’ll always be afraid of losing you. Thus, he will always up his game.

Here are some of the ways to leave him wanting more

  • Don’t be always too quick to text him back. This just makes it seem that you’re just waiting all day waiting for his messages, and that is not always attractive.
  • Don’t be afraid to end the conversation first. He won’t interpret this as you don’t like him or aren’t interested. It will only make him want you even more!
  • Don’t always agree with his plans every single time. Be busy with something.  Fill your life up so that he’d think he needs to win a spot to be able to date you.

4) Have an active social life

Go out with friends, pursue hobbies, go to the gym, keep doing things you did before you met him.  Let him chase you.

You’re not deliberately trying to make him jealous; you’re simply going on with your life and being social.

This is not about playing games or being manipulative. When he thinks you have a full life, he will do his best to earn a fraction of your time. Hence, don’t play hard to get — be hard to get.

5) Walk away — if you must

Staying in a relationship is a choice. You need to remember that you always have the option to exit at any time.

So, walk away if a situation isn’t what you want. But you don’t do this in a threatening way or use this as an ultimatum.  

Your walking power is a core belief you carry within you that says, “If I am not treated the way I  deserve or if this relationship doesn’t pan out the way I want it, then I can just walk away with no regrets.”

It is only when a man knows he really could lose you that he will either step up his game and commit to you or let you go.

And if he lets you go, that’s still a victory for you because you now know that he was never going to stay through thick and thin. You’ve now spared your life from potential years of wasted time, frustration, and heartache.

Use your walking power wisely.

6) Have high self-worth

A confident woman with high self-worth makes a man worry about losing her.

He knows that if he messes up, she’ll go, so he lays down all his aces. But how do you achieve this?

One quick piece of advice is: Fake it until you make it. 

Act like a confident woman of high value and the behaviors will soon penetrate and become natural to you.  Or better yet, ask yourself: How would a confident woman act in this situation?

Would a confident woman send a barrage of angry texts when her man hasn’t texted back in a few hours? 

Or would she give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he got caught up with something and she’ll hear from him eventually?

7) Give him space

Space is the heart of a good relationship.

Men too need space to process their emotions, evaluate decisions, and get things done. They need this vital aspect in their life to be able to maintain their best. 

When he is having his space to “recharge his batteries,” you too should take a space to recharge yours. 

8) Prioritize yourself

A lot of women prioritize their guy over everything else. For the love of your sanity, don’t do this.

When you worship your guy, you’re just setting yourself up to be taken for granted. Instead, continue focusing on yourself — working on building the best you, so to speak.

If you’re at your best, he’s going to fear losing you because he knows how attractive that is and he knows other guys will be attracted to you too. Here are a few things you can do:

  • Work on your fitness. When you ramp up your efforts and start to look even better than when you started dating, his fear of losing you is going to snowball, especially when he notices other men noticing you.
  • Focus on your appearance. This is all about being your best self. It is vital to still look as good as you were when you first began dating…back when you still put effort into how you dressed, did your hair and makeup, and anything else you did to present your best self.

9) Connect to who he truly is

Men are hungry for genuine connection. They don’t often feel seen and appreciated for who they are.

That’s why it’s important to connect to who he truly is — be with the man beneath the mask.

Pay attention to what lights him up, how he treats other people, what kinds of compliments get through him, and connect to him at that level. This will make him more attached to you and fear losing you.

Support his drive too, as this will make him feel profoundly connected to you. 

What do we mean when we say “support a man’s drive”?

His “drive” refers to the emotional and psychological force within that pushes him in the direction he wants to go. If you finally understand what makes him happy, help him get more of that. 

In return, he will feel so indebted to you and doesn’t want you to ever lose from his side.

What you can do now

This “drive” ties into something that’s been causing a lot of buzz in the relationship community lately.

It’s something called the hero instinct. Less than 10% of men even know what this instinct is, but it’s the reason behind every single action that every man takes.

So what is it?

The hero instinct is a hardwired need for men to feel like they are protecting you, providing for you; it’s an instinctual drive to feel valued, appreciated, and needed.

This free video reveals the simple things you can do to trigger the hero instinct in your man starting today, including the phrases you can say to him and the texts you can send.

It’s definitely worth a watch.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.

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