15 signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him (and how to respond)

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In the course of dating someone, you may not realize that your partner is slipping away. 

Maybe they’re no longer interested in seeing you, or they try to make excuses for disappearing from time to time. 

If you’re unsure as to whether or not your guy likes you, it’s easy to see from the outside. 

Here are some signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him and how to respond. Let’s jump right in. 

1) He makes excuses for his behavior

A clear sign that a man thinks that you aren’t good enough to date is that he will avoid you and make lame excuses for his absence. 

Have you ever been with someone who’s constantly making excuses for his behavior or poor choices? 

When he’s not being a jerk, he pretends that everything is okay and starts giving you all sorts of excuses for why he did something or why it went the way it went.  

This can include things like, “Oh I was just having a bad day,” “It’s not that big of a deal,” “It’s too much to ask of me,” and “Everyone else is doing it.”  

It doesn’t matter if they’re being truthful or not. These are empty words and excuses. He isn’t concerned about explaining himself. 

They don’t care because they can just make up any excuse, wash their hands of responsibility, and hope that you will accept it. 

Just watch. 

If it becomes a trend, he is placing you low on his priority list and you can respond by doing the same. 

2) He’s making excuses for why he doesn’t answer or respond

Another sign that your guy doesn’t like you is when he gets mad or seems irritated at you for questioning or asking him about something.

Let’s be honest, someone who wants to get to know you better will be interested in what you are thinking and what you are doing. They will enjoy it when you approach them and ask them anything because it’s a sign that you are interested in them. 

He’ll always make up some excuse for his absence or he makes you wait forever in between messages. 

You may never hear back from him at all. 

It may be so bad that he blocks you on Facebook and ignores your texts but then the next day, he’s flirting with some girl at work or school or the gym. 

What’s the deal? 

Why isn’t he responding to you? 

Why is he shutting you out and not communicating? 

This is just another example of how he thinks you’re not good enough for him, because why would an “important” person be so tangled up online or waste his time on someone like you?

If your partner isn’t responding to your messages, it’s not that big of a deal. 

Don’t sweat it. Move on. Why bother giving him attention?

3) He turns his phone off out of anger or frustration 

Another sign that a man thinks that you aren’t up to par is that he will go for periods where he gets angry and stops communication with you. 

When your guy is having a bad day, he might turn his phone off. 

But he is likely to explain why in time and let you know that it was nothing personal. 

He might go on and on about how stupid everyone else is and how annoying their messages are. 

Sometimes he’ll turn it back on just to insult someone else who’s reached out to him.

Your partner can have any number of reasons as to why he’s not responding to your messages or not checking in and it can be because he is angry and easily upset. 

But if he makes no effort to let you know why he is doing what he is doing then he has likely put you low on his priority list. 

It’s not worth your time to get upset or involved. 

In this case, it’s better to give him the time to explain and to move on with your day. 

4) He takes you for granted

If a man doesn’t want to acknowledge the existence of you then he doesn’t think highly of you. 

He may not notice your needs or even your needs for love, affection, and intimacy. 

If he does not show interest in you then he thinks that he is superior to you in all aspects. 

It’s important that if a man is ignoring you, you must take note of it and find people who can instead respect you and offer kindness. 

If your man doesn’t treat you well, it can also be a sign that you don’t want to treat yourself well. 

5) He’s done the “I don’t do relationships” bit

Another sign that your guy doesn’t appreciate you is when he acts uninterested and often gives off a cold vibe. 

He might say things like, “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now,” “We should just be friends,” or, “I don’t do relationships.”  

The fact of the matter is that he’s telling you he’s not interested in all of these statements. 

There are no secrets when it comes to attraction. If someone doesn’t find you attractive, they’re not going to want to pursue anything serious with you.

If they’re not interested in a relationship, they’re just trying to get out of having to explain themselves or see their partner hurt.

Instead of getting upset and fighting for your relationship, cut your losses and move on.

Again, if he is not giving you his time, it’s important to be clear on that and not overthink it and give it too much of yours. 

6) He makes fun of you when you are down or nervous

If you’ve been dating someone long enough, there’s a good chance that they’ve made fun of you at some point when you’re nervous or scared or awkward. Sometimes this can be a way for a man to tease you and get to know you on a more familiar level. 

But if he makes fun of you when you are feeling nervous or upset then it is likely that he is just being mean towards you. 

Don’t be confused by his playfulness. 

This is just the way he takes out his anger and frustration on you.

It’s not worth trying to convince him that he needs to change his ways or take care of your feelings. 

It’s not going to happen and he is only putting up a hard front to hide any real feelings as to why he doesn’t like you.

This sign can be a moment to see the reality of the situation and focus your attention elsewhere. 

7) He is rude to you or your friends

If a man doesn’t respect you, he won’t respect the people that you hang out with. 

If he’s willing to act rudely towards you, why should you expect anything else from him? 

If your partner is rude towards your questions, comments, or thoughts then he may be able to be controlling and manipulative as well. 

He will simply do what he wants when he wants and make you feel bad for voicing your opinions.

He will most likely talk down to you or tell you what you can’t do with your time.

If your guy finds fault in the same things, it’s because he is trying to control you and make sure that you are doing what he wants.

He is not genuinely interested in your opinion and will only want to know that which he wants to know.

If you find that you generally feel offended or put down by a man, it is clear that you feel devalued around him and that he isn’t putting any effort into the relationship. 

If someone makes you feel bad why bother staying in their company? 

8) He speaks low and loud

If a man’s tone is low and volume is louder than normal, it’s a sign that he doesn’t think highly of you. 

He is yelling at you in a passive-aggressive manner

You must pay attention to the tone and volume of his voice when conversing.

If his tone is often toned down, but he is still loud enough to be taken seriously then he probably feels threatened and thinks you’re the one controlling the situation.

He will raise his voice in a demanding way because he wants you to be inferior in his eyes so that he will have control over you.

It might be because he prefers to be the one calling all of the shots.

If a guy has a loud and low voice, chances are he thinks in the same way and won’t have much respect for you or your ideas.

9) He spreads rumors about you

If a man says something about you and spreads rumors, likely, he doesn’t think very highly of you. 

Does a man speak about you? Is it gossip? Does he have the right facts behind his words? Or is he simply making some assumptions? 

If he’s saying that you’re a bad person or partner then chances are he doesn’t respect you.

He might think that his opinion of you is more important than what you are offering him. 

In this case, because he thinks poorly of you, he may be telling others to stay away and not associate with you.

The quickest way to kill a hurtful rumor is to ignore it. Don’t feed it, let it pass. 

10) He takes and doesn’t give back

If a man is only taking and never giving back, he is only interested in you for what he can get and he doesn’t think you are good enough for him. 

Even if you are spending time together, if a man doesn’t contribute to the relationship in a meaningful way or doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary to make you feel special, then he has little to no interest in improving your relationship status.

He may be taking from you because he feels that it is owed to him. He might even feel like a gift horse as well.

But if he is taking and then giving back, then he might be interested in developing a connection with you.

He will have added value to you and will be more than happy to show you that he cares.

If your man is only taking and doesn’t give back, it could mean that he thinks that what he has isn’t sufficient enough for you. 

It’s important to remember the difference between the two types of people who take without giving or giving without taking. 

11) He has the wrong story with you

If a man has the wrong story with you, he will likely have it in his head that he is right and all others are wrong and you aren’t worth trying to understand. 

He is most likely going to be defensive as to why he thinks differently than everyone else, even if what he thinks is completely ridiculous.

He may tell you that nobody believes in this way or that way, so he wants to know if you hold any belief in what is going on.

He might even try to make you believe in his incorrect ideas by making sure that you don’t have an opinion that he disagrees with.

It’s important to remember that there is a difference between thinking differently and just being wrong.

If a man thinks differently from everyone else, he will probably explain the idea to show it in a light that agrees with him.

If someone believes something completely wrong or ridiculous, it is most likely because of their poor decision-making skills or faulty logic.

He may use faulty logic to come up with these absurd ideas because he feels that you or everyone else is stupid and not worth the time that it takes to explain the situation.

The fact of the matter is that most people are going to have a different opinion than others and it isn’t always bad or incorrect. 

There is a way to understand why people think differently and it’s a way of opening your mind, accepting other viewpoints, and not seeing things just in your light. 

But if he is not willing to see things from different angles, and is always complaining to you, he doesn’t think that you are worth the effort to get to know more. 

12) He tells you that he doesn’t like you

If a man doesn’t like you, he will probably tell you why and not think twice about it because he doesn’t think you are worth his efforts. 

He will say things like, “I don’t think that we are compatible.” or “I don’t feel the same way about you.” 

The problem with this is that someone who doesn’t like you probably doesn’t think much of you in the first place.

If a man truly doesn’t like you, he will tell you in a way that makes it clear that he’s not trying to hurt your feelings. 

It’s important to remember that if he thinks poorly of you, then it doesn’t mean that he won’t care about your feelings.

If a man is completely honest with his thoughts, it can be hard to look past what he says but once the words penetrate your ears the first thing that you should do is listen with an open mind.

13) He argues with you and doesn’t care about your feelings

If a man constantly argues with you and makes you feel unimportant, he doesn’t think that you matter to him. 

Men who don’t think highly of women don’t appreciate their value and they may be quick to argue with them to prove that they are correct. 

The relationship quickly becomes a power struggle and a game that he wants to win. 

Arguing is one of the quickest ways to put someone in their place and prove their worthlessness or lack of value for you.

You will know if a man is arguing with you because he doesn’t care about your feelings.

When someone cares, they will listen to what you have to say and will try to understand, but if they are always arguing and not listening, then it’s likely that they don’t think too highly of you. It’s important to remember that arguing is a quick way to resolve a problem, but it isn’t the best way for building a relationship.

If you’re with someone who argues with you and doesn’t care about your feelings after you’ve told him how you feel, it means that he doesn’t respect your thoughts or opinions because he doesn’t value your worth in the relationship.

14) He criticizes you

If a man believes that you are unworthy of his time and effort, he may want to let you know that he doesn’t like something about you or your personality.

He won’t think twice about it because he probably thinks that it’s worth his time to focus on something else that he values more. 

A man who doesn’t think much of a woman will make sure that she knows about the things that he dislikes about her. He won’t be afraid to tell her what he thinks that she needs to improve. 

He will criticize your beliefs, your thoughts, and the way that you act and treat him from time to time.

This is usually because he thinks that you aren’t worth his time to think of, care for, or respect.

If someone has high esteem for you, they will listen to your thoughts and opinions without judgment.

They will try to understand your ideas and why you believe what you do. The fact of the matter is that people who respect women know the importance of listening to their thoughts and opinions because they know that it’s important in a relationship. 

15) He thinks that you are bad for him

If a man thinks that he is good and superior and that you are bringing him down, it’s a sign that he doesn’t think you are worth his time. 

For him, he will be more than happy to let you know it because it will make him feel superior to you. 

Men who don’t think too highly of women don’t care about getting close and talking things through because they have a good idea of what is best for them. 

It’s important to know the difference between someone who thinks that you aren’t good for them instead of thinking that you aren’t worth their time.

One is an honest opinion and one is an arrogant assumption.

A man who thinks that you aren’t good for him will explain why he doesn’t think you are good for his life. 

He may tell you that you don’t fit in with the future goals he wants to achieve in life or something along those lines.

Realize what you can change

It is important to realize that there are things we can change, and things that we can’t change.

When someone doesn’t appreciate you and treats you poorly, it can be a terrible feeling. But that’s something you can change.

I actually know what you’re going through. Last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too – due to a similar reason.

I was dealing with so much pain that I was ready to walk away. But, before I did that, I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach to ask for advice and it made a huge difference.

At Relationship Hero, I found a team of surprisingly helpful coaches. They made me understand why my man wasn’t treating me well and how I needed to handle things.

I didn’t want to lose him, so I did what they said and it worked! Ever since then, he’s been a lot more attentive.

Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again and how I approach my love life. That’s why I think they can help you too.

So, what are you waiting for?

Click here to get started.

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