We find ourselves attracted to someone for a variety of different reasons.
But, at the end of the day, without love, that relationship has no future.
For some, the love is instant and overpowering.
For others, it grows over time as you get to know the person.
And then there are times that the love was never there at all.
Some men are more than happy to enter into a relationship with a woman they have no feelings for. There are so many reasons they do this, which we will highlight at the end of this article.
It can be heartbreaking to discover this in hindsight.
If you’re wondering whether or not your partner loves you, then it’s time to check out the signs below.
1) He never says it
This might seem a bit obvious, but often women forget to see this as a red flag. They put it down to him being more reserved about sharing his feelings, or still coming around to the idea.
The simple fact is, if your guy loves you then he’s going to have no problem telling you.
If he’s yet to utter these words, then see it as a sign. Especially if you are constantly sharing these words with him. This shows you’re at that stage of the relationship, yet the feelings aren’t being reciprocated.
Now’s your chance to find out.
Being more emotionally guarded is not an excuse. If he feels the same way about you, he would be sharing that with you.
There’s a good chance he doesn’t, and has never, loved you.
2) He’s never picked up on the little things
Has your man ever ordered your coffee ahead for you, knowing exactly the way you like it?
Does he ever message you something random during the day, just because it reminded him of you?
Does he pick up on the little things you share with him, like your favourite colour, your top dessert, or even your childhood dog?
Remembering the little things is a strong sign that he loves and cares about you.
On the other hand, if he can’t even remember your birthday, it’s clear the love isn’t there.
How does this work?
A guy who is in love, picks up on the little things because they matter to you. This means they also matter to him, because he cares so deeply for you.
A guy who isn’t in love, won’t bother with the smaller details. It’s not important to him.
If your man has never been one to pick up on these smaller details, it’s safe to say it’s not love. And probably never was.
3) Want advice specific to your situation?
While this article will shed light on the main signs he never loved you, I’d recommend speaking to a certified relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like lack of love. Their popularity is a testament to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to a coach for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing with him.
4) He never shows it
While it’s true that not all men are real romantics, if he’s in love with you, he will find a way to show you. Even if it’s in his own way.
Forget the grand gestures of surprise date nights and weekends away, and think to the smaller things.
Will he sit down at the end of the day and give you a back rub?
Does he offer to cook your favorite dinner for you?
Does he go out and buy you ice cream?
These are the little things he does to show you how much he cares. It’s his way of being romantic.
Think back to any past gestures your man has shown. Can you think of some?
If you can’t think of anything, no matter how small, then it’s a good sign that he doesn’t love you and probably never has.
5) He treats you like hired help
There are some men who simply need to be looked after.
These are the men that move out of home and away from their mum, and need a woman to take that place.
They’re basically incapable of living on their own and looking after themselves.
They enter into a relationship to fill that void. They’re not looking for love, just hired help.
Think about your own relationship…
Do you do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping… everything for him? Does he expect it from you?
Is he sitting there playing video games while you frantically clean up around him?
This isn’t a relationship built on love.
He doesn’t and will never love you.
Get out while you still can; you’re worth much more than this.
6) It’s all about sex
While sex is a healthy part of any romantic relationship, it shouldn’t be all there is to it.
If you take sex out of your relationship, what is left between the two of you? If you’re simply enjoying sex without any of the intimacy or romance that also comes with a relationship, then take it as a red flag.
Do you tend to go over to his house at night for sex?
Do you ever go out together, or is the relationship mostly in the bedroom?
Does he text you to come over when he wants it?
These are all telltale signs that all he’s looking for out of this is a booty call. There’s definitely no love here and there never was. He’s just fulfilling his own needs.
7) He has no interest in your life
When you’re in a loving relationship, you’re both supportive of each other and what you want out of life.
Whether you’re looking at making a big career change, or in an argument with your mum, your partner should be there to hold and comfort you and help you through.
Does your partner ask about your day?
Does he ask about your job?
Will he listen when you have a problem?
Will he drop everything and be there for you to help you through?
No matter how big or small, a supportive, loving partner will make the time for you to help you through. For the simple reason that he cares for and loves you.
If you still find yourself running to your best friend for this help and support and are getting none of it from your partner, take it as a sign. You simply aren’t a top priority in his life.
The love isn’t there, and it never has been.
8) He puts no effort in
Does your boyfriend ever go out of his way to arrange a date?
Or does he call you up to make plans (other than sex)?
If your relationship feels very one-sided and you’re the only one putting any effort into it, then it’s a good sign there’s no love there.
He’s simply in it for convenience. He’s happy to hang from time to time. But he doesn’t seek you out, or miss you when you’re not around.
This isn’t a guy who loves you.
9) There’s no communication
Communication is one of the essentials in any relationship.
If you don’t communicate well together, then the relationship doesn’t stand much of a chance.
Does he talk to you about his plans for the week? How his day was? What he’s been up to when you’re not around?
If you find that you’re competing with the TV or game console just to get a word out of him, then it’s clear he doesn’t love you and never did.
A guy in love is going to want to share everything with his other half. He will happily communicate about his day and his plans for the week, and want to share it all with you.
At the same time, he will want to hear all about your day and week and genuinely listen and care when you share with him. Ask yourself this:
- Am I comfortable sharing my problems with him (and him with me)?
- Does he listen to me?
- Do I know what’s going on in his life (and him mine)?
- Do we ever have meaningful conversations about the future?
If the communication isn’t there, it’s safe the say that neither is the love.
10) He has never been one to compromise
Relationships are all about give and take, especially in those early days when you’re getting to know each other.
If you’re finding that you are, and always have been, the one to move around appointments, change plans and bend to his plans all the time, take it as a red flag.
You shouldn’t always be the one who has to make things work for him just to meet his each and every need. It goes both ways.
If your man isn’t a fan of compromise and has never been willing to compromise for you, then the love isn’t there. He isn’t willing to put any effort into your relationship at all, making it clear just how he feels about you.
Think about it:
- Has he ever changed plans to work around you?
- Has he ever cancelled plans to spend time with you?
- Has he ever worked around your schedule?
If you’re the only one compromising in the relationship, it’s time to leave.
11) You’ve never met his friends
While meeting the family is a big deal in a relationship that comes in time, meeting the friends is something that should happen towards the beginning.
Friends are a great buffer when it comes to getting to know each other, giving you a further insight into who this person is and what they’re like.
Have you met his friends? Or does he always hang with them without you?
If you haven’t met his friends yet, then there’s a reason for that.
He doesn’t love you, which means it’s not worth the effort for him. He doesn’t want to be seen with you in public and doesn’t want his friends to label him as your man. He doesn’t see himself that way.
This isn’t love.
If a man is in love, he wants to show off his girl and introduce her to all his friends.
If you’re treated with anything less, then it’s time to walk away from this relationship.
12) He verbally abuses you
It’s so easy to make excuses when he flings words at you across the room, just to bring you down:
- He’s just in a bad mood.
- He just doesn’t want me to see this friend.
- He’s just jealous because I went out.
- He’s just… nothing.
There are no excuses when it comes to this type of treatment, and it’s not something you should ever have to deal with.
Don’t get sucked back in when he tries to apologize after the fact and promises it won’t happen again – we both know that’s a lie.
If your man verbally abuses you, it’s because there’s no respect in your relationship. He doesn’t see you as an equal partner in love.
The words that are spilling out of his mouth in the most hurtful manner are a true indication of just how he feels about you.
It’s not, and has never been love.
13) You break up a lot
Couples fight, it’s part of being in a relationship and working out those boundaries together. But it’s about how those fights play out that show whether or not there’s love and respect in a relationship.
Breaking up should not be the solution to your problems. If your man dumps you every time you fight (or vice versa), then there’s no love between the two of you.
You’re trying to hurt each other, rather than getting to the bottom of the issue. Why? Because you don’t care enough. He’s more than happy just to walk away and isn’t interested in putting any effort into making the relationship work.
This isn’t a guy who’s going to turn around and change one day.
He’s making it very clear how he feels through his actions. Even if you do end up back together a few months later, it’s not out of love.
A guy in love will get to the bottom of the problem with you. He will respect you – even when fighting – and won’t dismiss your feelings. Because he genuinely cares.
If you’ve found yourself in a cyclical relationship, then it’s time to end that cycle once and for all.
14) He tries to make you jealous
If your boyfriend takes pride in rubbing another woman in your face just to make you jealous, you already know how he feels about you.
If he was in love with you, there’s no way he would treat you this way, and it’s time to read the signs right in front of you.
It’s clear that there’s zero love, and a huge lack of respect as well, and it’s a sure sign that he’s never loved you at any point in your relationship.
If it’s gotten to this point, then make your move fast. It’s time to dump him and move on. Find someone who genuinely cares about you the way you deserve.
15) You never talk about the future together
When you’re in a relationship, it’s safe to say that you both see a future together. This is what relationships are all about. Sure, it doesn’t always work out, but in the moment, you see yourselves together and start planning that life.
If your boyfriend has never spoken about the future with you, then it’s a big red flag that he has never seen a future for the two of you. He’s never loved you, so never thought about whether or not the two of you might end up together down the track.
Has he ever spoken to you about:
- His dreams for the future
- Whether or not he wants kids
- Where he wants to live
Take it as a big sign that he has never loved you (and never will). It’s clear he doesn’t want to share a future with you, so it’s time to leave and never look back.
16) You have never felt loved
If there’s any sign that he has never loved you in your relationship, it comes down to whether or not you ever felt loved by him.
Love is a feeling that sweeps over you and makes you feel cared for.
If you’ve never experienced this in your relationship, it’s because it never existed.
In its place you have likely felt lonely, ignored, disrespected, undervalued and a whole host of other negative feelings, brought on through his lack of love for you.
Don’t sit around waiting for it to change. Hoping for it to change.
It’s clear this guy has never loved you and has only made you feel horrible about yourself. You deserve much more than that.
If you’ve never actually felt loved in your relationship, then take this as the biggest sign of all. Trust your instincts and show yourself a little respect by walking away.
5 reasons he never loved you
It’s not you, it’s him.
While this is normally one of those throwaway lines, in this case, it’s true. Your man never loved you from the start, but dove into the relationship anyway. And here’s why.
Sex is a driver for many men.
If he finds you attractive, then he’s going to be more than happy to jump into a physical relationship with you, even when the emotional feelings aren’t there.
He could be attracted to your body, or even to a particular feature like your eyes or your breasts. He simply wants a taste, and the relationship is worth it to him for this reason.
You’re a means to an end for him, satisfying his sexual desires.
2) You fit the part
Most guys want someone they can show off in front of family and friends. You’re nice, kind, funny, mature…. All the things he wants his friends and family to think about him. By dating you, he is projecting this.
It’s clear he likes your personality traits and who you are, but there’s no love there. Perhaps he’s a bad boy trying to change his image around using you, or maybe he still isn’t sure what he’s looking for, so simply using you as a stand-in for the meantime.
3) He’s bored
Sounds harsh, but it can be true.
It might have been a while since your man’s last relationship. Or perhaps he just isn’t looking for anything serious, so happy to waste the time with you.
Either way, he sees you as a source of entertainment, simply there to keep him amused and occupied.
Love is not on the cards and never was.
4) He’s leaching
Do you pay for everything in the relationship?
Every time you go out?
There’s a good chance he’s in it for the money.
He’s happy to play along with the relationship façade for the simple fact he’s getting exactly what he wants out of it. Money!
It’s time to pull back and stop supporting him and see whether or not he sticks around.
Either way, you will have your answer.
5) He’s not looking for love
Some men (and women too) just don’t have love on the cards.
Whether it’s not the right time in their life for them.
Or they simply aren’t interested in that type of emotional attachment.
Either way, love isn’t a consideration for them, which means they won’t open themselves up emotionally and allow it in.
This means no matter what you do or say, he’s simply a lost cause in the relationships department.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.