16 signs he loves you more than his girlfriend (& what you can do about it)

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Just when it seemed like you were never going to find Mr. Right, you meet a new guy who seems to have it all. He’s cute. He’s funny. And he seems very interested in you.

But then you learn that, yes, he does have it all — this dream guy also has a girlfriend.

So, now what?

You’re pretty sure he’s interested in you. But what if you’re wrong? What if he’s just a guy who tends to be overly nice to everyone and is really only interested in you as a friend?

Or what if you’re right, and he is attracted to you, but just as a fun fling?

If you’re not interested in adding a “side chick” to your relationship resume, this is probably an offer you should decline.

There is, however, another possibility. This guy may be in a relationship that’s on its last leg, and he really is interested in you as more than just a friend.

Your situation can be very confusing. And that’s why we’ve compiled this list of 16 signs that a guy likes you more than his girlfriend. Some of them you may have already noticed. While others may be signs you’ve missed. And because living in limbo is never fun, we’ve also included information on the steps you need to take next.

16 signs he loves you more than his girlfriend

1. He always in the same places you are

Does it seem like you’re always running into this guy? For instance, he’s suddenly hitting the gym at the same time as you.

Or he’s been at the same social gatherings that you’ve been attending. Maybe, he’s even taken up one of your hobbies or activities. It could be a coincidence.

But there are two more likely reasons.

One, he may be putting in overtime trying to get noticed by you.

Or, two, he’s so infatuated by you that he’s following you around like a love-sick puppy and isn’t even aware of his borderline stalking behavior.

2. He acknowledges your social media posts

This guy is now following you on all or most of your social media platforms and often comments or likes your posts and pictures.

Not only that, but he’s also taken the time to go back through your old photos to like them, as well. This definitely shows that he has an interest in learning as much as possible about you.

3. He confides in you about his girlfriend problems

Yes, he has a girlfriend.

But, according to him, they’re not doing well. In fact, he’s told you several times that they’re on the brink of a breakup.

Perhaps, he’s also told you he’s just waiting for the right time to end things or that she freaks out every time he mentions splitting up. But in his mind, he’s done, and he wants you to know that.

This can be tricky. We all know couples who have been in terrible relationships for months, maybe even years.

And, yet, they stay together.

So, while he may honestly be unhappy in his relationship, there is no guarantee that it’s going to end anytime soon.

That means you could end up being an unwitting side chick if you do decide to date him.

On the other hand, if you do decide to return his interest, he may finally work up the nerve to end the relationship with his girlfriend once and for all.

4. Or he never talks about his girlfriend at all to you

If a guy in a relationship is interested in you, he might just forget to mention that he has a girlfriend.

Or if you already knew of her existence, you may have noticed that he never mentions her or changes the subject quickly if anyone brings her up around you.

It’s pretty apparent to you that this guy is trying to live in an illusionary world in which his girlfriend doesn’t exist.

5. He is very flirty with you

Does he look you deep in the eyes or tend to stand really close to you?

Does he find small reasons to touch your hair or brush up against your arm?

If so, these may be his ways of telling you that he’s interested in you without actually putting his feelings into words.

6. He’s jealous of the other guys in your life

If he’s supposedly just a friend, why is he always making fun of the guys you’re dating or telling you that they’re not worthy of your attention?

He’s even made a few comments about the way he would treat you if you were his girlfriend.

It’s almost like he’s jealous of any guy you’re dating or thinking of seeing.

But why should it matter to him who you date when he’s got a girlfriend himself?

More than likely, the answer is that he wishes he was with you and not his girlfriend.

7. He invites you places

When a guy asks you to an event, such as a concert or a game, chances are he’s very interested in you.

He may try to disguise his intentions by saying he got the tickets for free, and he doesn’t want to see them go to waste.

Or he might even tell you that it’s a shame that his girlfriend hates sporting events or concerts, but he knows that you’re into them.

This invitation could actually be serving two purposes. One, he’s trying to get you into a date-like setting.

And, second, it’s his not-so-subtle-way of saying that you have more in common with him than his girlfriend does.

8. He won’t show affection to his girlfriend around you

A guy who is interested in you as more than a friend may act differently towards his girlfriend when you’re around.

For example, he might be standing next to his girlfriend when you enter a party.

But as soon as he spies you, he puts distance between himself and his girl. Or you may hear her tell him, “I love you.”

But he makes no attempt to respond in kind.

These are two possible signs that he’s no longer interested in his girlfriend and would rather be in a relationship with you.

9. Other people think you’re a couple

The two of you have natural chemistry, and it’s obvious to anyone who has ever spent time with you.

You finish each other’s sentences and lean on each other when you tell jokes.

You may even spend more time with him than his girlfriend does.

Some people have even thought that you were his girlfriend.

So, what’s really going on here?

The signs may all be pointing to the fact that you and he were meant for each other, whether he has a girlfriend right now or not.

10. He makes drunken moves on you

Alcohol can act as a truth serum on some guys. So, while he may be able to mask his true feelings towards you when he’s sober, after a drink or two, the alcohol will disrupt his ability to make good decisions.

In fact, according to Alcohol.org, alcohol causes a person to act without thinking of the consequences.

But be careful when it comes to a drunken confession of love. Because while he may truly be infatuated with you, his sober self may not be ready to leave his girlfriend for you.

11. He is always complimenting you

Compliments are fun and can be a big ego boost.

Plus, when a guy compliments you, it’s obvious that he’s paying attention to you and finds you interesting and attractive.

In addition to regular compliments, some guys will also make comparisons between you and their girlfriend and then tell you how they wish their girlfriend could be more like you.

For example, a guy might notice that you like hiking and then hitting a brewery afterward.

Both of these are things that the guy also likes to do, but his girlfriend doesn’t. This could prompt him to “joke” that he would be better off with you.

Although compliments are great ego boosters, you do need to be careful. Some guys — especially some salesmen-types — have learned how to use compliments and flattery as a way to get what they want, which might just be to sleep with you.

12. He slid into your DMs

While you don’t talk to him much in person, he has slid into your DMs or is texting you constantly.

Perhaps, you’ve even spent a few nights exchanging funny messages and maybe some mild sexual innuendos.

And while you’re enjoying the conversations, it does feel like you’re doing something a little shady behind his girlfriend’s back.

13. He brings you thoughtful gifts

It may be a few flowers that he’s picked on the way to your place of work, or maybe he’s bought you a book that you’ve mentioned wanting to read.

These little gifts are definitely signs that he has been thinking of you (a lot!) and wants to see you smile.

14. Your intuition is working overtime

Most women can tell instinctively when a man is interested in them.

Even if he’s trying hard not to let on that he’s attracted to you, you’ve probably keyed on several of the signs mentioned here.

But can you really trust your women’s intuition?

According to the NY Post, yes, you can. Studies have shown that women are much better than men at judging another person’s emotional state or mood.

15. He wants to be your hero

When a man is interested in a woman, it’s not unusual for him to feel protective of her.

In fact, it’s instinctive for a guy to want to be your hero.

So, say you have an issue with your car, he may volunteer to pick you up from the repair shop or — if he has the skills — he might even do the repairs himself.

He may even volunteer to do something for you that he wouldn’t do for his girlfriend.

And she’s probably not happy about that. But it’s a big clue as to the direction his heart is learning towards.

So, why do guys feel a need to play hero?

It’s a way to make them feel needed and wanted. And when a man feels like they’re necessary in your life, they’re more likely to fall in love with you.

16. His grooming has suddenly improved

In comparison to women, most guys don’t spend a whole lot of time grooming themselves.

But if he’s interested in you, there may be a noticeable difference in the way he dresses or in his appearance.

Perhaps, he’s chucked the well-worn, stained T-shirts he normally wears in favor of fresher tees.

Or maybe he’s trimmed his facial hair or is wearing contacts.

You may also notice that when you enter the room, he does a quick “touch up.”

He’ll run his hands through his hair or straighten up and suck in his tummy in. All of these are signs that he is trying to up his game around you.

What Should You Do?

Now, that you’ve taken some time to analyze the situation, and all — or most — of the signs seem to indicate that he likes you more than his girlfriend, it may be time to take the following steps:

1. Talk to him

Honestly, this can be a bit awkward.

But if you are really getting the vibe that he’s into you more than his girlfriend, you have the right to know.

You could try phrasing your question as a joke, such as, “It’s almost as if you want me to be your girlfriend or something, haha.”

And this may prompt him to either confess his true feelings or shoot the idea down. Just make sure to do this in private.

He’s not going to want to divulge his true feelings for you in front of others if he already has a girlfriend.

2. Think carefully about the consequences

So, let’s say he admits to having a crush on you or that he’s really attracted to you. It’s probably going to stir up a mix of feelings in you.

First off, it’s only human nature to feel at least a little flattered. But then you really need to think carefully about how you’re going to deal with this situation and also any consequences.

The first thing you need to ask yourself is what do you know about this guy? Is he a notorious flirt or a serial cheater?

If so, are you really interested in becoming just another notch on his belt?

Or is there girl code involved? Is his girlfriend also your friend?

If so, are you willing to take on the “villain” role in your friend’s group?

Because chances are your mutual friends are not going to be happy with you or him if he dumps the girlfriend for you.

And you should also be aware that some very flirty guys will suddenly pull away if you return their interests, leaving you without a new boyfriend or your friends.

3. Make sure he’s just not confused

Another reason to be careful?

Because some guys are just confused about their relationships.

For instance, there are some men who will develop a wandering eye when they’re about to make a big commitment to their girlfriends.

They begin to feel trapped or wonder if the grass could be greener on the other side of the fence.

If this is your guy, there is a possibility that he could break up with his girlfriend for you.

But there’s also a risk that he might begin to miss his girlfriend and the relationship they had.

And the next thing you know, you’re being kicked out to the curb, feeling used and abused.

Then you have those guys who actually have real feelings for you but are bound by their honor to stay with their girlfriends for one reason or another.

Maybe, she’s ill, and he feels guilty leaving her.

Or, perhaps, she is so emotionally weak, he worries that she’ll fall apart if he leaves her.

So, even though you two may be soul mates, he’ll never leave his current girl for you. Long story short, you’ll be wasting your time waiting for him to ask you out.

4. Set boundaries

If you like him as much as he says he likes you, let him know. But you’ll also want to set up boundaries, especially if you have no interest in being a side chick.

That means telling him that you would date him if he was single, and there won’t be any sneaking around behind his girlfriend’s back.

And if you’re not interested in him as anything more than a friend, you should let him know that, as well.

In the end

It’s flattering to have a guy chasing after you, especially if you’re interested in him. But it can become very problematic if he already has a girlfriend.

You deserve to know his intentions and whether he plans on leaving his girlfriend or if he’s just being flirtatious.

And remember, while it might seem like all fun and games now, there can be some serious consequences if you pursue this man who already has a girlfriend.

Another thing to consider? Whether or not a guy who is willing to cheat on his girlfriend is really the right match for you.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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