Is he in love with you?
When we think of love, our minds immediately jump to long days spent by each other’s side.
But love isn’t the same for everyone.
When you’re seeing a man who is super busy with his life, it can be hard to work out whether he really is in love with you or not.
Here are 16 signs to look for that let you know he really does care (he just shows it differently).
1) He always contacts you
While you might not be spending every waking minute together, your man can always be counted on to shoot you a text or give you a call.
You’re never left waiting by the phone, hoping he will reply to your message soon.
Whether it’s something as simple as asking how your day is, or just checking in with you. A man who goes out of his way in a busy schedule just to check on you is a guy who cares.
This is a guy who genuinely wants to know how you are.
Sure, he’s one busy guy.
But he really does love and care about you as well.
2) He wants your opinion
Does your guy come to you for advice?
Whether he needs help picking out a new shirt for work, or isn’t sure about his next career move. You’re the person he comes to about all the issues: big and small.
It’s clear that he respects both you and your opinion.
This isn’t a guy who is using you.
He genuinely cares about you and your opinion, so much so that he seeks it out in his busy schedule.
After all, he’s not going to go out of his way to seek your opinion unless he really wants to hear your answer.
This is a great sign that he really does respect and trust you.
Love is in the air and he’s in this relationship for the long term.
3) He tells you he misses you
If you guy is constantly telling you how much he misses you and wishes he could be spending time with you, it’s a great sign that it’s true love.
If he was just trying to pass you off, he wouldn’t waste the effort of making it look like he genuinely did miss you. He would just tell you he’s busy and that’s that.
How can you know for sure?
If he’s scheduling in time for you wherever he can, then you can be sure he’s genuine. He’s trying to be around you as much as his busy schedule allows.
You might only see him once a week during his busy times. But then when his schedule allows, you’re seeing him three or more times a week. This is a guy who loves you and is simply busy.
4) A professional relationship coach can tell you for sure
Last year my relationship reached a dead-end.
I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out.
I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach.
I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand that I wasn’t to blame for everything bad that happened in my relationship.
This coach was tough but fair. They were genuine and very helpful.
They took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to navigate the situation I was facing and accept that I couldn’t spend as much time with my partner as I wanted.
My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again.
5) He initiates the dates
Are you the one who is constantly following him up and trying to lock in the time to catch up? Or is your man the one doing all the hard yards and making sure you always have a plan to meet in place.
If it’s the latter, then you’ve definitely found a guy who loves you.
While he might not be able to see you as much as you both would like, he makes sure he always has that next date booked in for the two of you to enjoy.
This shows he cares and he wants to make it work. You’re always on his mind and he shows this by booking in those dates and keeping in constant contact with you.
6) He loves his job
Normally, if a guy is busy, it’s because of work.
If he genuinely loves his job, then take it as a great sign that it’s not you…it’s him.
He’s devoted to his careers, and perhaps overly ambitious as well, and has a drive inside him to work hard.
This is a great sign of commitment, and will also flow over into your relationship (which is great news!).
As long as he’s open and honest with you, take his commitment to work as a great sign. He isn’t avoiding you. He’s busy doing something he loves and working towards a goal and he wants tot take you along with that.
7) He’s open with you
It’s one thing to say you’re busy with life and leave it at that.
If your man goes the extra mile to keep you filled in about what’s going on and what’s occupying his time, then this is a great sign.
If he makes an effort to share what’s going on with his work, what he’s been doing and where he is, it’s a great sign that he loves and cares about you.
He wants you to know he’s not just trying to dismiss you. And he’s going to the extra effort to show you.
8) He tells you if his schedule clears
The thing with being busy is, there’s usually lulls along the way.
If you guy actually messages you and lets you know when things have gone quiet and he has more time on his hands, you know you’re onto a winner.
It not only shows that he genuinely is busy (and isn’t just making an excuse), but also that when he has downtime, you’re the first person he wants to see.
This is a guy you can count on sticking around.
He clearly loves you, despite this busy schedule of his, and is willing to bend things to make it work.
9) His socials check out
If you really want to know if he’s busy or just saying he is, jump onto his socials. They won’t lie.
If you can see he’s constantly on social media, yet can’t seem to find the time to respond to your texts, this guy isn’t worth hanging around for.
Likewise, if pictures keep popping up of nights out with his friends, you can be sure that his priorities are a little different. And you don’t seem to feature at the top of it.
Ditch this guy.
However, if his socials are inactive while he’s busy and you can tell he hasn’t been on, then it’s a good sign that he is telling the truth.
He’s genuinely a busy guy who loves you.
10) He remembers the little things
You may not be seeing each other as much as you’d both like, but you get the odd message during the day that shows he cares.
He might be lining up for coffee and hear someone with the same order as you and text you to let you know.
Or he might take a photo of your favourite flower that he’s just walked past and wants to share.
It’s these little things that he remembers about you that make all the difference.
He genuinely cares about you and loves you and is showing it even though he can’t be with you.
A guy who isn’t interested isn’t going to go to the effort of remembering all these little things unless it’s love.
Next time your guy messages you something sweet, take it as a sign. He remembers these little things because he loves you and you’re important to him.
11) He supports you
Naturally, you have your own things going on as well and are busy with your own life. You’ll likely have your own dreams when it comes to what you want to do and who you want to be.
If your guy is right behind those dreams supporting you each and every step of the way, then he’s definitely a keeper.
He’s always there as an ear to lean on when things get tough.
He’s happy to give you suggestions without pushing you in one direction or another. He’s simply guiding you and acting as a sounding board.
This is a guy who cares deeply about you.
He wants you to be happy in everything you do and is willing to help make that happen for you.
He’s definitely in love!
12) He’s always there for you
Being physically present is just one part of the relationship. While he’s busy, it’s clear he can’t do that for you, but he can pick up the pieces in other ways.
Is your man emotionally available for you?
If you really need to chat, will he take 10 minutes out of his day to pick up the phone?
Of course, he may not always be able to do this. But you will notice whether or not he’s making that little bit of extra effort for you. To really make you feel loved.
He’s the type of guy to go out of his way to help you out, even when it’s not convenient for him.
13) You’ve met the friends and family
This is a big one.
It doesn’t matter how busy a guy is, if he’s introducing you to his friends and family…it’s love. We all know what a big step this is – whether he’s busy or not.
A guy isn’t going to waste time on a relationship he doesn’t see a future with.
If he’s already introduced you to his mum, it’s because he sees a future with you. He loves you.
You are a big part of his everyday life, whether or not he is able to see you each and every day.
14) He keeps his promises
We all know that life can get in the way from time to time.
But if your guy genuinely cares for you, then he’s going to keep his promises. He isn’t going to be the type to make plans, and then cancel them 5 minutes beforehand because something goes up.
There’s being busy…and then there’s plain old rude.
A busy guy is all about scheduling.
If he keeps bailing on plans, it’s clear that he’s OK with hurting your feelings. The love isn’t there.
If your guy schedules dates in advance and always shows up on time, that’s respect.
He loves you and wants you to know you’re not an afterthought in his life. If he makes time for you, then he’s going to spend that time with you.
Naturally, things do come up. If your plans get canceled, don’t automatically assume the worst… unless it happens time and time again.
15) The sex life is good
Think about what he’s like when he is around.
Sure, it might not be as much as you like. But is it good?
Do you share a connection?
Is the sex good?
Is he passionate?
These are all signs that there’s something more between the two of you.
It’s what separates a booty call from love.
Do you lie in bed together afterward and chat about life? This is a guy who’s in love. He wants to spend time with you. And while he might not be able to spend as much time as he wishes, he makes sure it’s quality time you have together.
16) He’s genuine
This comes down to trusting your instincts when it comes to this guy.
Does he seem genuine to you?
When he texts to let you know he misses you. Or contacts you to check in. Or says he wishes he could spend more time with you… does it all seem genuine to you?
If you don’t get the feeling he’s playing you or taking you for a ride, then trust your instincts.
If you’re unsure, then it might be time to dig a little deeper into the relationship. Plan another date and open up to him about how you’re feeling and see how he responds. This should give you a good indication of where you stand in the relationship.
But for now, if you trust him and he feels genuine, then go with it.
There’s a good chance this is simply a guy who loves you and is busy.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.