15 undeniable signs he is trying not to fall for you (even though he is!)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Love sometimes has a habit of striking when we least expect it.

Sometimes we may not even want it, but we simply can’t help it.

If you’ve met a guy who you suspect is fighting his feelings for you, then you might be confused about what is going on in his head.

Has he caught feelings? Here are the signs he is trying not to fall for you.

1) You feel his hesitation

I hope the signs in this article help you to figure out exactly how this guy really feels about you.

But one of your best guides is often your own intuition. Our gut feelings can be very powerful.

Your inner knowing is far more than just a hunch.

Your intuition is quietly analyzing countless cues and unspoken pieces of information.

It has access to far more info than your conscious thinking brain. And it sorts through all the stored details in your subconscious and sends you signals based on this more detailed deduction.

That’s why one of the biggest signs that he has strong feelings for you but is scared, is that you feel that’s the case deep down in your core.

A word of warning though, it can be easy to allow wishful thinking to cloud your judgment.

So let’s check out some of the other all-important signs so you can be in no doubt.

2) He goes hot and cold

You know he cares. His actions prove it.

You’re more than ‘just another girl’ to him and you can feel it. But at the same time, you also can sense him pulling back.

It can feel like two steps forward and two steps back. You get close, but then he retreats.

He blows hot and cold. You have a great time together, then all of a sudden you don’t see him for a few days.

It’s almost as though when things are going too well, he freaks out a little bit. When you’re getting closer and things start to progress, he panics.

He always comes back again after a little bit of space. But it feels like his feelings are yo-yo-ing.

This is a clear sign that he is struggling with whether or not he wants to pursue a proper relationship with you.

3) He limits contact

It might have been a while now that you’ve been dating, but you still only see each other twice a week.

He may stay the night, but always gets going the next morning rather than sticking around to enjoy a lazy morning together.

Limiting contact is one of the ways guys try to keep control of the speed at which a connection progresses.

That way he feels like he can slow things down and avoid it getting too intense too quickly.

Guys aren’t stupid and they also realize that the more we see them the more expectations we are likely to put on them.

Limiting contact is like putting a buffer around that.

4) He’s a good guy and treats you well

I’m going to put this down on the list nice and early because it’s super important.

There’s a world of difference between a guy who is scared to fall for you and a plain old f*ckboy.

Let’s get real ladies, most of us have probably fallen for a “bad boy” at some point and made excuses for why they act the way they do.

We’d rather convince ourselves that there’s another explanation than admit the truth.

But we shouldn’t waste time convincing ourselves that a player is just scared of his feelings for us when in reality they’re using us.

Some of the signs on this list will seem contradictory.

But that is the push, pull situation you may find yourself in when a guy is trying (but failing) to stop himself from falling for you.

But the truth you may not want to hear (but need to) is:

If he is only pulling back and acting distant, it’s not a sign he is trying not to fall for you. It’s more likely just a sign he isn’t interested enough in you.

He also has to be simultaneously reaching out to you. He has to treat you well and show interest in you.

And not just when he wants to Netflix or chill or is in need of some attention. It has to be consistent and sincere.

5) He wants to avoid labels

There’s something about making it “official” that can send you into a panic if you were never looking for a relationship in the first place.

You may be boyfriend and girlfriend in all but name — neither of you are seeing anyone else, you’re not interested in anyone else, and you spend plenty of time together doing couples stuff.

But as soon as you use labels, then it feels like more of a commitment.

And if he’s trying hard to not fall for you, he’ll want to kid himself that it’s not so serious. That means avoiding any titles or definitions of what this is.

6) He is protective

A guy is only ever protective over those he cares about.

That protectiveness might show up in a variety of ways, big and small.

He takes your side, he defends you, he wants to take care of you, he walks on the outside of you to shield you from traffic.

He can’t help but behave this way towards a woman he is falling for, it’s genetic.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

7) He doesn’t like to make plans in advance

Not making plans is another avoidant tool that men who are scared to fall for you will use to keep you at arm’s length.

He can tell himself that you’re just seeing what happens, taking each day at a time. There is no long-term commitment as he feels more comfortable knowing he isn’t tied to anything.

You could have spent every single day together for the last month, but he still can’t say for sure whether he’ll be free on Saturday or not.

8) He can’t keep his hand off you

He’s clearly attracted to you.

Maybe he’s always checking you out and stealing glances. The eyes give a lot away about how someone really feels.

He is very touchy-feely with you, and not just in a sexual way.

He may not be a fan of PDA, but when you’re alone together he is affectionate.

It’s not just about sex. He wants to kiss, hold hands, cuddle, touch your face — all those little signs of intimacy and tenderness that show he has genuine feelings.

9) You know he has been hurt

Some of your suspicions that he does have feelings for you but is fighting them might be because you know he has some baggage.

He had a bad breakup recently and he’s not over it. His last girlfriend did a real number on him. He doesn’t know if he “believes in monogamy” anymore.

If he is having a hard time generally with his emotions, it makes it more likely that he will feel confused about you too.

Being ready and open for a relationship is a big factor. Someone who is trying to protect themselves is going to put up walls that make them less emotionally unavailable.

10) He’s always texting you for no reason

You might not be looking for love, but when it strikes it’s hard to hold back — no matter how much you try.

That craving you have to be around someone comes spilling out. And as intimacy grows you find yourself reaching for your phone, just to talk to them about nothing in particular.

He may not be sending you lots of lovey-dovey messages, but his interest is clear from how much he is blowing up your phone.

Forwarding funny posts, sending you random snaps of his food, and checking in throughout the day to see what you’re up to.

11) What would an expert say?

While this article will shed light on the main signs he is fighting his feelings for you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

Especially because, as I mentioned earlier, we can find it difficult to see things objectively when our emotions are involved.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

Click here to get started.

12) He won’t talk about the future

You’re not going to find a guy who is trying not to fall for you talking about the future together.

Living in the present is his security blanket. Meanwhile, the future is his kryptonite.

He wants to live in the moment, because he knows that the future holds all kinds of uncertainty.

It’s not that he’s planning to go anywhere, or that he explicitly doesn’t see you in his future. He’d just rather not think about it.

So he’s keeping his eyes focused on the now.

13) He hasn’t told you how he feels about you

You think he likes you. No, you’re pretty sure he does. But he just hasn’t confirmed it.

He might offer you compliments and say nice things, but he hasn’t said anything concrete about how he really feels.

The truth is, guys who are scared to fall for you don’t like to admit they feel something. It makes them vulnerable.

They want to keep you at arm’s length, even though they know deep down that they’re falling for you.

And if you ask him directly, he’ll probably be vague or try to change the subject.

14) He pays attention to what you tell him

One of those telltale signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he deeply listens to you.

He is attentive to the small details. He remembers the little things.

This shows that he genuinely likes you and is interested in what you have to say.

He isn’t pretending to listen, he actually cares enough to pay attention.

15) You’re sort of drifting

One of the frustrating things about guys who are trying not to fall for you is that you might feel like you’re drifting.

It’s like no-one is in the driving seat of your relationship. You may be in the car heading somewhere, but neither of you are quite sure of the destination.

That means the whole thing can feel a bit vague.

You may lack confidence in what is really happening, with it feeling more like a situationship than a relationship at times.

To conclude: when a man is afraid to love you

It can be really frustrating when you like a guy but you’re not sure where you stand.

But if you feel like he’s worth it, you still want to see where this could lead. So the key now is getting through to your man in a way that empowers both him and you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.