Men aren’t always the easiest creatures to read.
They can be distant, hiding behind a cold, hard shell, pretending to be cool and suave when deep down they’re really just looking for someone who will sit down and talk to them.
But how do you become that one person that a man feels comfortable to open up to, in a world that usually makes him feel inadequate for sharing his thoughts and feelings?
It’s important to look out for signs that he’s finally opening up to you, because if you don’t play your cards right, he might never do it again.
Here are 12 important signs that your man is finally opening up to you, and it’s your chance to show him you’re his safe space:
1) He’s Telling You Little Things About His Past
No one has to talk about their past. The past is the past; it’s not a place we go back to, especially if it’s not something we want to remember.
If you don’t know anything specific about a man’s past — only the most generic and general information — then it’s because he doesn’t want you to know.
But if he starts sharing those details here and there, telling you little stories about his old friends, his old experiences, about things he doesn’t really need to tell you about, then it means he’s feeling more and more comfortable around you, enough to let you inside.
2) He’s Listening More To You
When a guy starts opening up to you emotionally, it means he doesn’t see you as just someone he can have another normal, superficial relationship with.
It means he sees you as someone with whom he can have a deeper, more meaningful connection, and that’s something anyone can value and appreciate.
So he’ll start listening to you more; more often, and more deeply.
He’ll give you his full attention in ways he never did, and he’ll truly hear you out whenever you need him.
Even if he can’t express it so plainly in words, he wants a deeper connection with you, and he knows the first step to that is showing you that he cares about what you have to say.
3) He Talks About Things That Bother Him
It can be frustrating as a woman when a man you’re dating starts talking about the things he doesn’t like about you, or the things that frustrate him about you.
Your first reaction might be, “If you hate so much about me, then why don’t you date someone else?”
But a man who tells you about the things that bother him is a man who is truly trying to connect with you.
He doesn’t want to date someone else; he wants to date you, and he just wants to be honest about the things that might be holding him back from loving you as fully as he can.
Let him share his thoughts with you, even if those thoughts make you uncomfortable, because at the end of the day it will bring the two of you closer than before.
4) He Truly Tells You About His Feelings
Men aren’t nearly as open with their feelings as women are. This is because men don’t typically have the same social pillars that women have with each other.
Men don’t have the same encouragement from everyone around them to share their feelings, to open up; it’s not “the manly thing to do”, and many men are taught to keep their feelings to themselves, especially when those feelings are negative.
So if a man is telling you how he feels — how he truly feels, the things that are near and dear to his heart — there is no greater sign than this that he’s opening up to you.
This is the one chance you have to show him that you are a safe space of his true feelings, and if you make him feel the way everyone else has made him feel — that you won’t really listen to how he feels — then he might never open up to you again.
5) He Talks To You Even When He’s Not in the Mood
If he’s usually reserved and collected, then he might not be the type who likes to interact with anyone when he’s not “feeling it”.
Most men don’t really like talking to people when they’re not feeling their best, especially if that person is someone they like.
But he talks to you, despite his crappy mood. He opens up to you, shares the problem with you, and tells you everything about it.
Why? Because you’re slowly becoming part of his bubble, and he doesn’t feel the need to regenerate his energy away from you, because you’re becoming a part of his life, and a part of the space where he feels safe.
6) You Know His Deep and Personal Problems
Guys have a hard time opening up as it is but once a guy gets past his initial walls, it’ll be much easier for him to open up and reveal more of his heart.
If he’s really feeling close to you, he’ll start telling you about things he’s never told anyone before, including personal details in his life.
He might talk about his past, family problems, or just general anxieties.
He’ll begin sharing not-so-perfect things with you, giving you some insight on the good, bad, and ugly.
If he shares something personal, it’s because he wants to trust you and tell you more things about himself.
7) He Brings Up His Past
Most people just want to move on from the past and forget about it. If he’s keen on discussing the past and giving you a “full review” of his life, it’s a sign that he trusts you and really wants to give you a better picture of him as a person.
The past is a touchy subject for most people and in most cases it’s irrelevant to discuss anything but the present and the future.
But if you notice that he’s opening up discussions about the past, asking questions about your own past experiences, he definitely wants to get closer and prime the relationship for deeper conversations.
8) He Asks Questions That Make You Vulnerable
Vulnerability doesn’t just go one way. If he’s keen on opening about his life, this translates to him being more curious and open about your life.
At the end of the day, he wants to get close and open up not just for his sake. He wants the both of you to be on the same page, to feel comfortable, trusting, and share this vulnerability together.
He wants you to have a deeper connection with each other, and asking you deep questions that allow you to explore your emotions and let your guard down is one way for him to do that.
9) He Stops With the Show
When the two of you first met, he probably had some smooth moves to woo you. He had some cool lines to say.
But lately, his cool guy facade has melted into something more candid, playful.
He doesn’t really seem to care about putting up a cool guy front with you anymore.
Whereas before he’d probably be more poised, controlled with his behavior, lately he’s been a lot more friendly, playful, maybe even childish.
You can tell that he’s so comfortable with you he doesn’t even think about acting like the typical guy around you.
He’s more interested in connecting with you genuinely; no games, just sincerity.
10) He Lets You Into His Space, and He Doesn’t Mind
Guys are probably more protective of their personal space than women are. And this doesn’t just mean his bedroom.
If he takes you to places where he goes alone, does activities with you that he typically enjoys in solitude, it’s because he wants to share these things with you.
He’s opening up and integrating you into his alone-ness, sharing parts of himself that he normally wouldn’t share with others.
What’s more, if you see him enjoying sharing these spaces with you, both physically and mentally, it means that you must be really special to him.
11) He Asks You for Advice
Probably the biggest sign that he’s opening up to you is if he’s asking advice from you.
Think about it: he’s not merely sharing himself with you; he believes that you have wise words to offer and that you can actually help him become a better person.
If a guy asks for your advice, it’s because he trusts you to steer him in the right direction and satisfy his needs for support.
Guys don’t often ask for advice lightly; if he does, it’s an unmistakable sign that he wants to take the conversation further and maybe explore the relationship a bit more intimately.
12) He Sometimes Acts Nervous or Hesitant Around You
That confident, sexy, smooth persona comes out with other people, but when he’s just with you, he doesn’t just dial it back; he sometimes acts nervous and even hesitant with you. But what does this mean?
It means he’s trying to get used to the idea of being real with you, being truly real with you in a way he isn’t with anyone else.
It can be uncomfortable for him, something he’s scared to do, but as long as you let him feel that he’s safe, he’ll slowly learn to trust you.
Is he finally opening up to you?
If the signs are in your favor, that’s great! It means you’re on the right path.
But if they’re not, there’s something you can do about it: trigger his Hero Instinct.
James Bauer, a relationship expert, coined this psychological concept, after noticing that men respond to cues from women in a very particular way.
It implies that when a woman triggers certain psychological ‘buttons’ in a man, he is compelled to act on his impulses and follow his desires.
How does it work?
Luckily for you, Bauer’s free video explains everything there is to know about the Hero Instinct.
What’s more, he gives you a step-by-step guide on how to trigger it in him so that he finally opens up to you.