I once dated a guy who I thought had potential, but then some suspicious behavior and red flags appeared.
Despite my initial excitement, I couldn’t ignore the fact that something seemed off.
Eventually, I found out that he was cheating on me with not only one, but multiple partners!
If you think the red flags you are seeing are signs he has multiple partners, read on!
By the end, you’ll understand how to deal with it—or whether you may be worrying too much.
1) He doesn’t want anything serious
You may find yourself in a romantic but casual relationship.
He’s sweet and caring. He keeps you around like a girlfriend but avoids serious topics every time.
According to NBC News, this is referred to as a “situationship” rather than a “relationship.”
At the outset, it may look like a traditional relationship, with emotional connection and physical intimacy. What it lacks, however, is the same level of commitment or exclusivity.
If he wants you, he will show you and tell you to be exclusive.
Otherwise, there will always be doubts about the “relationship”. That is, if he’s clear about having one.
2) He’s not clear about your status
There are many reasons why your partner is uncertain about the label of your relationship.
It could be that he is unsure of you or not yet ready for an exclusive dating relationship.
If he’s hesitant to commit to a specific label with you, this could be one of the signs he has multiple partners.
Your partner may be one of the many men who are a lot more interested in dating other people, and sleeping with a number of women — your classic case of Connor in Ghost of Girlfriends Past!
He may not yet be willing to give up his freedom to pursue a serious relationship or commitment with you.
It’s worth wondering, how can you be in a romantic relationship with someone you are not well acquainted with?
3) He speaks less about himself
You may be eating dinner together, sleeping together, and spending the night together, but you still feel like you don’t really “know” him.
While this article will shed light on the signs he has multiple partners, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation, especially if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
If you talk to a professional relationship coach, you can ask for advice based on your personal experience and situation.
For issues such as dating a womanizer, you can consider a popular relationship site like Relationship Hero. They have highly skilled coaches that can help you get through your situation and give you advice on the best ways to deal with it.
You might be wondering: How certain are we that they can help you?
Well, I experienced their service when I was also in the same situation as yours. When I finally heard and listened to their advice, I felt that someone finally understood what I was going through.
I was given advice that can be applied exactly to my situation. After our session, I felt empowered to steer clear of my relationship issues.
My coaches were encouraging, kind, and genuine.
Within minutes of talking, I was able to realize and come to terms with how to repair my relationship or whether it was even worth repairing.
4) He doesn’t share information about his friends
If he doesn’t talk to you well enough to know him, how could he possibly mention his friends to you?
For some reason, he feels uncomfortable discussing his “personal life” with you.
It’s also possible that he simply doesn’t think it’s important to share that information.
Hey, don’t worry—because it gets worse: He could be married.
That’s why it’s essential to be wary of this sign while you’re still dating.
5) He forgets details about you
Sure, you’ve told him where you work, where you usually hang out, and what your interests are.
Dating is the getting-to-know-each-other phase, the foundation of your budding relationship.
It’s normal for people to forget things from time to time, especially if they are busy or preoccupied with other things.
If your boyfriend, however, seems to constantly get confused about specific details, it may be worth raising an eyebrow about.
He may have a lot of other women in his life, including you, and he is struggling to keep track of them all!
And if he’s that busy…
6) He’s not constantly reaching out
If he’s busy with work, other commitments, and personal issues, it’s understandable if he’s not always in contact.
Though if you’re always the one who initiates the call, the text, or the invitation to come over to your house? It could be one of the signs he has multiple partners.
Maybe he got what he wanted after the chase and is keeping himself busy with the others.
Which leads me to my next point:
7) He’s not always available
Say you are in a situation where you are taking care of a family emergency.
It’s natural to turn to your partner at times like this, so you call him.
Guess who fails to show up, or even reach out? Him.
Here’s the deal: When it gets personal and he has to meet your family, and he chickens out, it may be one of the signs he has multiple partners.
Meeting your family can be exhausting for someone who dates almost EVERYONE.
Aside from being beyond his comfort level, it also requires knowing elaborate details such as names, occupations, and ages of your family members.
All of which a person who has a lot of partners doesn’t have the patience for.
Plus, he couldn’t risk meeting your mutual friends or his other partners’ friends!
And what would be his initial reaction be? The ultimate survival response:
8) He’s always on the run
Has it ever happened to you that your partner surprised you for dinner?
Yes, he dined with you, stayed the night, and then left before you realized it?
Have you accidentally met him somewhere public, say in a coffee shop or mall, but he was suddenly in a rush and promised to call?
If he appears to come and go, it’s possible that he squeezes all of his other women into his schedule.
Obviously, guys like this—planning isn’t their strong suit.
9) He never says anything about plans
Someone relaxed and carefree is a breath of fresh air.
But when it comes to a relationship, having someone who constantly has to “wing it” is extremely frustrating.
It could also be one of the signs he has multiple partners, and prefers a flexible schedule to accommodate them.
It may be premature to begin planning as early as dating. But, at the very least, it can be reassuring to know where he would spend his weekends, holidays, and other special occasions.
Well, contrary to having plans, your partner may consistently talk about his rules in the “situationship”.
10) He’s all about rules
You can’t call him at work, show up at his flat unannounced, and look at his cell—does this sound familiar?
Setting boundaries in a relationship is ideal.
But if your man limits you in almost every way, you may have a severe problem.
Other than sounding controlling or manipulative (which is more alarming than it already is!), he could be trying to keep you out of his personal life, avoiding the risk of discovering any secrets he may be keeping.
11) He hates surprises
Nothing beats the happiness of surprising someone special and receiving an unexpected response.
However, he may not appreciate it if he has anxiety issues or negative experiences with surprises in the past.
Also, it’s possible that he’s uncomfortable with you showing up in his apartment or office with a bottle of wine or tickets to a movie theater because he’s living a “double life” and he doesn’t want to get caught.
Even if your partner generally dislikes surprises, it doesn’t necessarily prevent them from surprising you on occasion (or even if there are none).
12) He showers you with gifts
I had a friend in college who constantly received gifts from her partner when they were dating.
Sure, it made her feel special, but these gifts were usually “apology gifts”.
We weren’t able to meet the guy personally. We discovered that he was also dating other women on the side, which is why they broke up.
Keep this in mind: Gifts are not a replacement for honesty, communication, and trust in a relationship.
They aren’t supposed to be leverage, either!
13) He has a history
If you hear from the grapevine that the man you’re dating is a serial womanizer, then it may be worth looking into.
It’s not healthy to start a relationship by listening to gossip since it can lead to mistrust and misunderstandings.
But here’s the truth: Women talk.
They may share information about their experiences with others in order to prevent similar situations from occurring in the future.
If you’re unaware of his history, it pays to check his socials.
14) He’s vain on social media
If he goes to the gym and keeps himself well-groomed, it could be that he’s just vain.
But if you notice that he posts frequently on social media and consistently exchanges comments on his posts with other women, it could be one of the signs he has multiple partners.
Now, being a social media person doesn’t give it away.
The fact that he feels the need to impress women (and works very hard to do so), a monogamous relationship is not in his vocabulary.
Social media could be the channel he uses to entice women into his multi-partner setup.
15) He keeps a private phone time
Have you seen a suspicious caller ID when someone rings him?
Has he been stepping out of the room when he answers calls and answering cryptically?
While it’s not bad that he values his privacy, if a nagging feeling creeps out of your chest when he does this, it could be because he has lots of women at his disposal.
And if he has a lot of women getting in bed with…
17) He’s always tired (or he can’t perform!)
If he refuses a nightcap when you’ve openly invited him to spend the night, this could be one of the signs he has multiple partners.
Obviously, he’s tired and has had enough time in bed.
Though there are certain cases when he seems to have found this solace in sex, and to your shock…
18) His need for sex intensified
If a man you’re dating has developed an insatiable desire for sex, it could be one of the signs he has multiple partners.
His biological need to copulate with different women can almost be related to the Coolidge effect, minus the need to reproduce.
This phenomenon explains why an active-sexual male turns on more if he has sex with a myriad of sexual partners.
It’s possible that he is experimenting with a new sexual position that he learned from another partner and wants to see if you enjoy it as well.
19) He confuses you with his lies
All the while, you thought he was just busy with his job and working on some personal issues.
When all’s said and done, you try to put two and two together. In fact, once the pieces fit, they don’t confuse you anymore; but they make you realize that you’ve been played.
Yes, being lied to stinks, especially when you’ve invested time and feelings in a guy.
Lying can also damage trust and most relationships. Trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and if it is broken, it can be very difficult to rebuild.
What’s the bottom line?
Lying as early as dating can be a toxic foundation on which to build a relationship, and you wouldn’t want that, particularly if you’re looking for something long-term.
20) He guilt-trips you!
While confrontation isn’t the best way to approach this, sometimes it can’t be avoided.
If your partner tends to shift blame, portray themselves as a victim, manipulate your feelings, make you feel responsible, or use reverse psychology when something goes wrong, it could be a sign that he is involved with multiple partners.
Not to mention, it’s a big, alarming red flag for you! This is how a narcissist reacts when faced in a situation he can’t control.
That’s why it’s essential to be self-aware, allowing you to better identify and communicate your own desires and limits.
Never ignore the signs
Dating can be a difficult and emotional process.
Although it’s unfair to jump to conclusions or make unverified assumptions about his intentions, it’s important to pay attention to your instincts and trust yourself.
So how can you deal with the signs he has multiple partners, in a practical way?
I know just the thing: the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.
While watching it, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love (and keep it) for the first time, and finally offered an actual solution if faced with the signs he has multiple partners.
But it all starts with your inner relationship. Once you learn how to love yourself, giving and receiving love becomes a whole lot easier.
If you’re ready to take that journey, click here to watch the incredible free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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