So you’ve been spending a lot of time with this guy, and things have been absolutely fantastic. There’s no denying it; you’re starting to really like him. Maybe he’s the one?
The thing is, though, you don’t know if he likes you back. He hasn’t said anything to define this lovely thing you two have going on. It seems like he does, but you’re still not sure.
Now, you don’t want to make assumptions and seem a little crazy. But the way he acts around you, the amount of time you’ve spent together, and the messages he sends you have got you feeling confused.
It’s not that guys don’t have any feelings. They just aren’t the best communicators when it comes to talking about how they feel.
And it’s not their fault. Guys are less likely to open up about their feelings first because society doesn’t encourage the male gender to tune into their sensitive side.
So what’s a gal to do? Not to worry because we’re here to help you figure him out, once and for all.
Here are the 15 undeniable signs he fancies you.
1) He looks you straight in the eye
People’s eyes tend to gaze around a room. But if a guy is looking at you ever so intensely that it feels like he can’t take his eyes off you? Then he might just fancy you.
In fact, a 2006 study found that a mutual gaze is an “arousal stimulus,” which increases our capacity to recall more of what’s being shared with us.
So if he’s maintaining some serious eye contact, it means he wants to hear what you have to say and remember it.
On the other hand, if he breaks eye contact with you, he may not be interested.
2) He casually touches you
He guides you through a crowded place with his hand gently on your back. He lightly brushes his arm against you when you’re walking side by side. He touches your hand when he says something that he wants to make an impact on you. His knee grazes you, or his foot keeps hitting you accidentally under a table. These are signals that show how he feels.
People touch other people they like when they seek affection, want to make a connection, or try to communicate a need.
And when a guy tries to make physical contact, it usually means that he fancies you and wants to be close to you.
If he remembers your touch preferences, marriage and family psychotherapist Yasmin A. Razek says it’s a sign he’s sensitive to your needs.
3) His feet point towards you
Notice his feet. Do they face you when he’s nearby? If yes, then there’s a good chance that you’re on his mind.
Ever heard of the saying, eyes are the windows to one’s soul? Well, feet come in a close second. The direction a person’s feet are pointing in says a lot. It is found to be a subconscious choice signaling what they are interested in.
Feet are also involved in the fight-or-flight response when a person is in danger, controlled by the unconscious mind. It can also be very telling in a social setting.
“The feet tend to point where the heart wants to go,” says body language expert and author of Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language, Patti Wood.
So if his feet point to you? Then it means he fancies you and wants to go where you are.
4) He leans in when he talks to you
Just like with feet that point to you, leaning in is a sign that says he wants to get closer to you.
Leaning forward is also another nonverbal way to show you he’s engaged and paying attention.
Watch the way his body moves: If a guy opens his posture toward you, even opening an arm or a knee to close the circle around you, then this is a sign of openness and a willingness to listen and interact.
And if he leans in when he talks to you, it’s a safe bet that he likes you. If he can hear you perfectly well and leans in anyway, it means he’s interested in you and what you have to say.
If he pulls back from you, then take it as a sign that he’s not into you.
5) He asks if you’re dating anyone
If he asks if you’re dating anyone, he probably likes you and is interested in getting to know you more.
Aside from trying to figure out if you’re already attached or seeing someone, he’s asking because he wants to get information about his competition.
But not all guys can ask outright. So some guys will say that he’s single and wait for you to say that you’re single too.
So if you like him back, be honest with him so he can plan his next move (which hopefully involves a romantic dinner date).
6) He makes an effort in your conversations
A guy fancies you when he’ll put in the effort to talk to you even if he doesn’t know what to say and even if it might start as an awkward conversation. Because who knows, it may turn into a golden opportunity for him to get to know you.
If it seems like he doesn’t know a lot about the things you talk about, observe how he responds. He’ll continue to show you his interest through his listening skills and tone of voice because he genuinely wants to find out and learn more about the things you like.
Listening helps him get to know you better and show you how much you mean to him.
Now, if his voice is deep and present, and he’s asking follow-up questions about what you are saying, then you know he’s putting in the effort to make conversation.
Also, if he brings up things you’ve talked about in the past, this shows he’s paying attention and trying to establish a bond with you, says Betsy Chung, PsyD.
7) He lingers in a hug
A hug can be tricky to read into because it can come from anyone you are friendly with.
However, try to pay closer attention to the way he hugs you. , if he lingers longer than a quick embrace, he probably wants it to mean more.
And while you’re already reading into his hug, how does he lead into it? Life coach and therapist KeVonya Webb-Riley says that if he puts your arms over his shoulder when you’re hugging, then that’s a sign he fancies you since it’s an easy position to move into a kiss.
8) He respects your boundaries
All kinds of set boundaries are very important, whether big or small, like no kissing on your first date with him or not having sex until you feel ready to do it with him.
After explaining to a guy why you’ve set certain boundaries, he should respect it and leave it alone. A guy who is truly serious about you will not try to make you do what he wants. He will even go the extra mile to make you feel comfortable and cared for.
If he tries to manipulate you into crossing that boundary with some sweet-talking or logical arguments, then you know he doesn’t fancy you enough to show respect for your choices.
9) He asks you to hang out with him
It’s pretty obvious that he’s interested in spending some quality time with you, but a guy asking you to hang out can sometimes seem like a friendly, platonic invitation.
But if he initiates hanging out, makes a plan for just the two of you, and follows up, then you’re probably going on a date.
Also, do note the amount of effort he pours into it and how he does it. Putting in a lot of effort to impress you is also a telling sign that he fancies you and that he’s willing to put himself out there.
When he spends time with you alone, he knows that this is his opportunity to get to know you better. Plus, the likelihood for things to turn romantic is much higher when you’re alone together.
10) He mirrors what you do
Are you smiling as you speak? Frowning? Animated in the way you’re telling your story? And is he mirroring everything you’re doing?
If a guy mirrors your facial expressions or how you speak, he’s not trying to mock or make fun of you.
On the contrary, this shows that he’s fully engaged and actively listening to you. He’s subconsciously interested in you and wants to create a connection.
Take this as a good sign.
11) He remembers every single thing and every little detail about you
Not everyone will remember everything about a person until they become very close.
Guys, in particular, aren’t very good at remembering details, so if he remembers something you said in passing that you’ve already forgotten about, then he probably likes you.
Pay close attention if he’s listening to you just to respond or is actively listening because he cares, says relationship and intimacy coach Azaria Menezes.
If he remembers little things like how you take your coffee and love sour gummy candy, he likes you.
If he also remembers even smaller details like the name of your favorite high school teacher, your dog’s favorite organic treats, or how you got that tiny scar at the back of your knee, then he really likes you.
12) He introduces you to his friends
If a guy introduces you to his friends and tries to make a good impression of them on you, take that as a sign that he really fancies you.
If he takes you to parties where all his friends are present, he likes you more than a friend and wants to show you off. Take it as a compliment!
Because why else would he introduce you to them if he didn’t like you? You mean something to him, and this is his way to see how you fit into his world.
According to Professional Matchmaker and Dating Coach April Davis, if he’s introducing you to people he’s close to, he sees things becoming exclusive between you two.
He wants to gauge what you think of the people he cares about the most and see if you would get along with them.
13) He hangs out with your friends
On the other hand, if you invite him to spend time with you and your friends and he’s more than willing to hang out with the girls, then you bet he fancies you more than just a friend or a hookup.
He wants to make a good impression and get their approval because he knows how important your friends are in your life, just as his close friends are to him.
He also wants them to know that he’s serious about you and show them that he’ll take good care of you.
If he can picture you fitting into his world, he also wants you to see how he can fit into yours.
14) He only focuses on you
A guy who fancies you will shower you with more attention than anyone else around you.
Even if you were in a crowd of people, a guy who likes you will focus only on you and spend a long time engaged with you.
According to relationship expert Nate Bagley, guys will “laugh a lot, playfully, at the things she says” when they like you.
So if a guy in a room seems to find you particularly hilarious, he might be telling you he likes you.
Also, if he faces you when you’re in a group and talks to you as if you’re the only person in the room, then you know that he’s really into you, says Webb-Riley.
15) He tells you
If he’s an emotionally healthy guy, he would tell you up from that he fancies you: no mind games, no beating around the bush.
Don’t expect some big romantic gesture like in the movies, though. He will probably quietly slip it into a random but intimate conversation between you to make it feel less awkward.
And you may even think he’s kidding, but guys don’t joke about liking you.
What do you say if he tells you he likes you? If he can put himself out there and be honest with you, then you should be honest too, whether you like him back or you only see him as friends.
Now that you know he definitely fancies you, how do you respond?
Sometimes, finding out that a guy fancies you feel like being put on the spot. You might even think you need to respond right away if you feel the same way or not.
Here are some ways to handle the situation when your words escape you and your mind goes blank.
1) Say thank you
It doesn’t matter whether you like him back or not. He just paid you a genuine compliment, and it took a lot of guts for him to tell you how he felt. So be gracious and say thank you. It’s a polite response and can help break any tension in the air.
2) Be honest
If you know deep in your heart that you don’t feel the same way, it’s better to be honest than to lead him on. You can still remain friends. Just be clear about how you feel and set boundaries to avoid mixed signals or confusing feelings.
3) Stick to your gut feeling
When a guy tells you that he fancies you, you will have an initial reaction, and it will either be positive or negative and easy to know. Immediately after, your mind will start analyzing your reaction and tear it apart.
If you like him, your mind might cast doubt on your reaction. If you don’t like him, your mind might rationalize his good qualities.
You don’t have to respond right away when a guy tells you he likes you, but don’t forget that first reaction so you can properly react later on.
No one can tell you exactly what you should do when a guy says he fancies you. Go with what feels right for you, and remember, don’t feel pressured to respond right away.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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