There’s nothing worse than that sinking feeling when you realize that your boyfriend or husband doesn’t love you anymore.
Somewhere down the line, his feelings have changed and now you’re left wondering if you should wait for him to confess or move on with your life.
I’ve been in this situation, and the signs were there all along – I just couldn’t accept them until enough pain and hurt had been inflicted and I’d had enough.
So I understand how tough it can be, but hopefully, these 35 signs will help you realize whether there’s any hope left, or whether he truly doesn’t love you anymore.
Let’s jump straight into them:
Signs he doesn’t love you anymore
1) He avoids spending time with you
Where he once would have looked forward to being with you, he now does everything possible to avoid it.
You might even wonder how he times it so well, especially if you live together.
But, the fact that he knows your schedule helps.
Conveniently, he slips out or busies himself as soon as you walk in the front door, or he makes plans with other people when he knows you have a day off.
2) He doesn’t care about your feelings
It’s hard to hurt someone when you love them. You’re always aware of how they’re feeling and it causes you pain to even think about hurting them.
But when the love is lost, caring about your feelings isn’t at the top of his list anymore.
A major sign he doesn’t love you anymore is when he stops bothering to check in on your feelings, and instead, he dismisses them and prefers to ignore you.
3) There’s a lack of communication
A breakdown in communication shows that your partner is putting very little effort into the relationship.
He doesn’t text you any more to let you know what his after-work plans are, he never calls to see if you’re okay.
And it’ll progress:
He’ll start to shut down, and where you once spoke openly with each other about your feelings and thoughts, he now avoids it at any cost.
4) He doesn’t want you around his friends
In the depths of your love, he wanted you around all the time.
Even when he was out with the boys, he didn’t mind you coming along because it meant he could stay close to you.
But, a clear sign he doesn’t love you anymore is when all of that stops.
Now, he sees going out with his friends as an escape from his relationship, and you might find you’re not invited anymore.
And, the same might apply to his family, too.
If he stops taking you around to see his folks, it’s obvious that he’s starting to cut that connection you have with his loved ones.
5) He isn’t a part of your life anymore
And the same goes for you, too.
Instead of joining you and your friends when you go out, or coming along on double dates, he now makes up any excuse to avoid it.
Even more, he doesn’t take an interest in any of your hobbies, and he doesn’t bother to ask how your day was anymore.
If he loved you, he’d have a genuine interest in what you’re up to and he’d want to be a part of it.
6) He belittles you
Embarrassing you, putting you down, and making you feel bad about yourself can have devastating effects on your self-esteem in the long run.
And it’s pretty hard not to be affected when the person doing it is your husband or boyfriend.
As well as being a clear sign he doesn’t love you anymore, it shows he doesn’t respect you either.
If this happens regularly, you should begin to think long and hard about whether this is a relationship worth staying in.
Put simply – no one should suffer this type of emotional abuse, no matter how much they want to save a relationship.
7) He stops being honest
Another sign that he doesn’t love you is when he stops being honest.
Even over the small stuff, he’ll make up stupid excuses and won’t even bother to look ashamed when he’s caught out.
But it makes sense:
He doesn’t have the guts to be honest with you about how he feels, so why would he be truthful in these situations?
Ultimately, a relationship without trust is not one worth having.
8) He gets angry for no reason
Often, when a guy falls out of love but hasn’t left the relationship, his moods will be all over the place.
On one hand, he’s frustrated because he feels stuck in this situation and he doesn’t know how to tell you he doesn’t love you anymore.
But on the other hand, he may still feel some form of guilt or sadness at the fact that he wants to leave. After all, falling out of love doesn’t make him a heartless monster, it can happen to any of us.
So with all these conflicting feelings, you might find that he lashes out more and often over small things.
9) He starts becoming secretive
Do you find your partner secretly texting late at night?
Maybe he’s started going out more without offering any explanation on his whereabouts?
Either he’s got something to hide, or he just doesn’t value the relationship anymore.
This goes hand in hand with his lack of honesty, and once this level of distrust comes up in a relationship, it’s hard to ever recover from it.
10) He spends more time on his phone
Think of it this way, the phone = a distraction.
It’s a distraction from having to speak to you, and it’s a major distraction from his feelings (or lack of them).
And in some cases, he’s busy trying to hook up with other women.
If he’s super secretive, always keeps his phone by his side, and never lets you near it, you know something is going on there.
11) He seems bored when you talk to him
At the beginning of your relationship, he lapped up every word you said, even the silliest of thoughts that you let slip.
But now, all that interest has gone.
You could be telling him about the best day ever, and if he’s nice enough, he’ll pretend to nod along and stifle a yawn in the process.
If he’s not so nice, he’ll probably just ignore you until you get the message.
This type of behavior shows not only has he fallen out of love with you, but he’s also lost any interest in what you have to say.
12) He sends mixed signals
We touched briefly on this earlier, that your partner might have mood swings because he’s experiencing a lot of different emotions.
The sad truth is:
Even though he doesn’t love you, in some cases, he may still care about you and he’s afraid of hurting you by being honest about his feelings.
When this happens, he will naturally send lots of mixed signals.
Some days he’ll be nice to you, even affectionate, and other days he’ll act withdrawn and quiet.
He’s fighting an internal battle, and his fear of being honest adds to it.
This can be confusing for you because he gives you a little hope before brutally pulling it away again.
13) He stops saying he loves you
This is an obvious sign, but one that you might have overlooked during all the other things going on in the relationship.
So, when was the last time he told you he loved you?
And if it was fairly recent, did he say it like a robot following a script or like he meant it?
If he doesn’t love you anymore, he’ll avoid saying it as much as possible. You’ll find he probably only says it to reply when you say it first.
14) He never apologizes
Not apologizing anymore means he’s stopped taking responsibility for his actions.
He’s stopped taking responsibility because he doesn’t care about the relationship anymore, and this is a major sign that he doesn’t love you anymore.
You see, they’re all linked.
The more he loves you, the more he’s invested in making the relationship work, and part of that comes with taking responsibility for himself.
And that includes saying “sorry” when he messes up.
But the fact that he’s stopped altogether shows he has truly given up, he just hasn’t got the guts to say it to you yet.
15) He starts comparing you to other people
Comparing you to other women can be cruel, and certainly out of character.
A loving partner would never want to make you feel inadequate or jealous of others, so if he does this there’s a good chance he’s frustrated with the whole situation.
And on top of that, he’s taking it out on you.
16) Future? What future?
No matter how far you are into your relationship, talks of the future inevitably come up.
Whether it’s what you’re going to do next weekend or planning a holiday for next year, it shows that you see yourselves being together for the foreseeable future.
But once the love is lost, he’ll stop picturing you being around for the long term and that’s why he’ll stop mentioning the future altogether.
17) He starts saying “I” more than “we”
When he doesn’t say “we” anymore it’s clear he’s had a change of heart – he’s starting to see himself as separate from the relationship.
This doesn’t tend to happen unless he’s is emotionally hurt and wants to leave the relationship, or he’s fallen out of love.
If your man shows any of the other signs mentioned here, it’s a good chance that it’s the latter, and you’ll know just by listening to how he speaks and acts.
18) He treats you like an option
It sounds like a cheesy cliche but you shouldn’t be with someone who treats you like an option instead of a priority.
But it’s true, all cheesiness aside.
You are still putting everything into this relationship in the hopes that he’ll love you again, whilst he’s busy imagining his escape and hurting you in the process.
19) He makes you feel like a burden
Do you ever get the feeling that he sees you as holding him back?
Maybe he wants to do something, but you’ve got to work and suddenly it’s a huge deal and he’s pissed that he can’t go.
He’ll make you feel like you’re a weight on his shoulders, and that you’re too dependable or too restrictive for him.
But it all points to the fact he doesn’t love you, and it’s this guilt that’s weighing him down, not you.
20) He never makes an effort with you
You’ll know he doesn’t love you if he stops making an effort.
Anniversaries, birthdays, whatever the occasion he’ll do his best to ignore it, and long gone are the days of romantic surprises.
You might also notice that he doesn’t make an effort with his appearance anymore and it makes sense.
Why would he feel the need to impress you anymore, if he doesn’t have any feelings left?
21) He always seems irritated by you
You could be telling him something for his own good, but he’ll snap at you and act as if you’ve been nagging him for hours.
This quick fuse shows that he’s frustrated and unhappy, most likely the result of not loving you anymore and wanting out of the relationship.
22) He doesn’t pay attention to you
Paying attention comes in different ways.
Paying attention to how you look, listening to what you say, and giving you attention like affection and compliments.
If he’s stopped all of these, it’s not a good sign. It shows he’s pulling away, and the feelings he once had have started to disappear.
23) Your sex life has dwindled
And ultimately, this lack of attention towards you, combined with a lack of love, will have bad consequences for your sex life.
Here’s the thing, guys (and girls) can have sex without being in love. It happens all the time before people get into a relationship and feelings come along.
But it’s harder to have sex with someone you used to love, but no longer feel the same way about.
Especially if you’re trying to get out of the relationship but can’t for one reason or another.
So you might find that he hardly pursues you or ever initiates sex, no matter how much you try to seduce him.
24) He goes out more without you
Where you once did stuff together, like going for a walk on a Sunday or date night Fridays, he now wants to go out alone.
You assume he’s meeting his friends but in some cases, he might not even bother to let you know where he’s going.
But essentially, if he doesn’t love you anymore, he’s not going to want to hang out with you, and going out is an escape from his problems with you.
25) He avoids emotional conversations
Does your man always find an excuse not to have a conversation about feelings?
Whether you want to talk about a recent argument, or just mention how you’re feeling in general due to his change of behavior, he simply doesn’t want to hear it.
He could be afraid of revealing his feelings and he doesn’t feel ready to do that, or he’s genuinely not interested in what you think or feel.
Either way, it’s not a healthy relationship to stay in, especially if you’re unable to communicate how you feel.
26) He never gets jealous anymore
Jealousy in small amounts lets our partners know that we love them and we don’t want to see them with anyone other than us.
Your man might have shown some jealousy when you were all loved up, but since his feelings have changed you’ll notice he doesn’t care anymore.
You could flirt right in front of him and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
27) He criticizes you…a lot
From what you wear down to weight gain, criticisms of any sort can be extremely painful to hear, especially from someone you love.
But unfortunately, as his love for you diminishes, the criticisms will increase.
This comes down to him feeling unhappy in the relationship, and he’s essentially taking it out on you.
There’s also the possibility that he’s hoping you’ll get fed up first and end things so that he doesn’t have to.
28) He distant with you out in public
If your partner doesn’t love you anymore, you might notice that they stop holding your hand or putting their arm around you when you’re out.
Now, it feels like you’re out shopping or eating at a restaurant with a friend rather than with a lifelong partner, and any attempt to be affectionate on your part is met coldly.
29) There’s very little affection
And it doesn’t end there…
The lack of affection outside may also reflect how he treats you behind closed doors.
You’ll know he doesn’t love you anymore when he stops those cute morning kisses or snuggles on the sofa.
As his feelings change, you’ll find that he stops wanting to be near you and avoids touching you if he can.
30) He starts getting personal during arguments
An argument over what to eat for dinner might result in him accusing you of being indecisive your whole life.
You might feel confused, wondering why he makes everything so personal and cruel, and whilst it’s hurtful for you, it’s simply his way of lashing out.
If he doesn’t love you anymore, chances are he’s in a miserable place since he hasn’t been truthful about it.
This will result in him taking out that misery on you, and arguments are the perfect outlet.
31) The relationship isn’t fun anymore
The sparks have gone.
He never flirts with you.
Fun date nights are a thing of the past.
If this sounds familiar, there’s a good chance he doesn’t love you anymore and this is shown with his lack of enthusiasm towards you.
32) He’s always unhappy
Naturally, if he doesn’t love you he’s going to feel unhappy in the relationship.
Whether it happened gradually, or he woke up one day and realized this isn’t the relationship for him, it’s still a sad fact to come to terms with.
If you notice he’s unhappy with himself, with work, and with his friends, it may point to a bigger problem and he should find a way to communicate his unhappiness.
But if he’s only unhappy with you, it points to him simply not wanting to be together anymore.
33) He stops making plans with you
And as a result of this unhappiness, he’ll be reluctant to be around you.
You’ll notice that it’s hard to make him commit to anything, even something small like coming to your aunt’s birthday meal next week.
This uncertainty and reluctance to plan anything with you is a sign he’s trying to create distance between you…it could be his way of winding down the relationship.
That way, when he finally breaks the bad news it won’t come as much of a shock.
34) He stops trying to make you happy
You know someone loves you when all they want is to see you happy.
But once that love goes, so will his commitment to always making you smile and to doing things that make you feel good.
Instead, his focus will be more on himself and what he needs to do to be happy, and so the relationship starts to break down.
It’s important to remember in times like this that you have to rely on yourself when it comes to happiness, and your partner is proof that you can’t depend on others to find it.
35) He makes you feel unwanted
And finally, if he doesn’t love you anymore, you’ll feel it.
He’ll stop coming to you for advice, he’ll never want to hear your opinion or feelings on a matter.
He’ll start acting like he doesn’t need or want you around anymore.
This is a heartbreaking truth to come to grips with, but the sooner you accept your partner’s signals, the quicker you can begin to move on with your life.
What can you do about it?
Sadly, if your husband or boyfriend has fallen out of love, there isn’t a whole lot you can do to change his mind.
Now, I could tell you that by doing XYZ you’ll regain his love, but it’s never that simple.
First of all, there’s a reason he fell out of love with you.
Whether it’s down to a lack of compatibility, or you’ve grown apart in your relationship, or even if he’s met someone else, it’s a long shot in the dark trying to regain that love.
And at some point, you’ve got to start thinking of yourself.
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is not an easy experience to go through, and there’s no doubt you’re feeling pretty miserable because of his behavior.
And who could blame you?
But wallowing in despair won’t get your life back on track, so it’s a good idea to confront your partner and have an honest conversation about his feelings and the future of the relationship.
Only then will you be able to move on with your life and find happiness and love within yourself, and one day a better partner to invest your love and emotions into.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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