When it comes to flirting and seduction, it’s men who always make the first move.
You see, way before a guy makes his first move, the girl has already thrown out a thousand little cues to encourage him to make this first step.
If you’re a wee bit knowledgeable about the many subtle and not-so-subtle ways women have seduced men since the beginning of time (we’re looking at you, Cleopatra), you’d agree that in many cases, it is in fact the female species that make the first move.
They do this skillfully through body language.
What exactly is body language?
Body language is a type of nonverbal communication that uses physical behaviors instead of words to express or convey feelings and information.
Instead of saying “I think you’re stupid”, we can just simply roll our eyes or raise an eyebrow to express more or less the same message.
Body language is not limited to body movements. It includes posture, tone of voice, intensity of gaze, etc. There are so many types of body language and knowing each one can help us communicate better and most of all… seduce better!
Why is body language so important in seduction?
Have you ever been with someone who talks nonstop on a first date?
Yeah well, they aren’t the sexiest people, are they? Funny or smart maybe, but not really too sexy. They can be one of those guys we consider nice but there’s just no chemistry.
That’s because seduction doesn’t require a lot of words. In fact, the less you say, the hotter the seduction game gets.
Locking gaze with a guy is a hell lotta sexier than just saying “hey, you cute.”
Unabashedly laughing at his jokes will make him remember you more than saying “hey, you funny.”
The fun part is trying to drop hints and guess if you really like each other without being direct about your intentions and feelings.
To put it simply, body language is the language we use for seduction and if you know how to use it and decode it, you’ll be more attractive than the prettiest girl in the hood who doesn’t know body language.
Okay, okay. You get it. Body language is all that but you just have one problem…
Before reading this article, you already know body language is important. You know the basics of the many ways we communicate nonverbally and you have been applying what you’ve learned to your dream guy.
But you have a problem. You’re not sure he likes what you’re doing. You’re not even sure he KNOWS you’re seducing him.
Did he see your seductive gaze and just thought it’s friendly?
If so, should you stare a few seconds longer? How much longer? What if it would be too much and he’d call the cops?
It’s one thing to apply flirty body language but it’s a totally different thing to know if it’s working because it’s hard to decode the body language of men!
You need to know he’s catching your signals and that you’re actually on the same page…that you’re both building some sort of romantic tension.
To help you get a better assessment if your guy actually receives the signals you’re sending his way, I listed some of the most obvious signs he is perfectly aware of your body language and is actually enjoying it.
The most obvious signs he adores your body language:
#1 He pays close attention to you (and makes sure you know it)
The first clue when a man likes your body language is that he notices you. But it doesn’t end there. He’d make sure that you KNOW that he’s paying special attention to you so you keep doing what you’re doing.
He might even flash a smile as if to say “Let the game begin” but the sexiest men prefer to keep things a little mysterious. We all know how hot slow-burn seduction could be.
If you notice him looking at you when you do something sexy, whether you’re conscious about it or not, you can relax a little because this means he adores your body language.
#2 He somehow finds a way to be near you
You saw him miles away so you waved hello. You got a little busy and the next thing you know, he’s already sitting beside you.
Magic? You bet it is!
And it’s you who cast the spell with your body language, you vixen you.
If he likes the signals he’s getting from you, especially if he’s a little drunk and therefore more uninhibited, he won’t hesitate to go near you.
Don’t be disappointed if he won’t touch you or make obvious advances yet. Again, the more you prolong sexual tension, the hotter it gets so enjoy it.
#3 He locks eyes with you (and his pupils dilate)
He caught you staring at him so he stares back with the same intensity, making sure not to break eye contact. You can tell the level of attraction between two people by how intensely the man looks at the woman.
He might appear cool on the outside but he’s ripping your clothes in his mind.
It’s a known fact that men’s gaze reflects their underlying sexual motivations so if he’s looking at you with a sexy stare like he’s a hungry lion, you can be sure he adores your body language (and your body…of course, your body!).
If you still have doubts, get closer to your guy and check out his pupils. If they’re dilated, that’s a sure sign he really digs you because according to science, love hormones affect pupil size.
#4 His jaws drop
Whether you’re from New York or Kiribati, our jaws drop when we’re in awe. These expressions have inherent origin but once acquired, we may be doing them unconsciously as a means of communication.
It might seem like a thing from the movies but it happens a lot in real life if you just observe men more often. If his jaws drop while watching you, you can be sure he finds you hard to resist.
When men (and hey, even women) see something so stunning and sexy, and it truly captivates them, their jaws just drop. It’s just the way it is. It’s the body’s reflex and something we have no control over.
#5 He turns red
You touch his arm ever so slightly and his face turns beet red like a schoolboy.
Blushing happens when there’s an emotional trigger like embarrassment. It could happen when our crush found out we like them, or when we forgot a line from our class report, or when we got caught doing something fishy.
When this happens, our glands release the hormone adrenaline which then triggers the capillaries to widen, making the blood closer to the surface of the skin. That is why blushing exposes us (but it could actually be a good thing).
#6 He stutters
Another sign he’s under your spell is that he stutters. A lot.
Although studies show that stuttering is a speech disorder that runs in families, there is a link between stuttering and anxiety. If being around you makes him nervous, expect him to break his sentences and give way too many pauses.
If he blushes and stutters too much, please go easy on the guy. You don’t want him to feel like a total loser in front of you or else he’d flee. Tease him a little, but nothing that he can’t handle.
#7 You feel sexier with every interaction
What’s so exciting about flirting through body language is that the moves are so subtle you can’t even describe what’s happening.
You just…feel it!
You know that they adore your body language and are actually reciprocating if you feel sexy around them. You just feel like a hot goddess but you can’t actually point your finger why.
You feel the sexual tension building up without even uttering a single word.
#8 It feels like a dance
Flirting with a guy who has the hots for you doesn’t feel like you’re doing it all alone. It doesn’t feel like you’re giving ALL the signals and not getting anything in return.
It’s more like a dance. You move two steps to the right, they move one step closer. You twirl, they hold your back. You get the drift.
Besides, there is no such thing as one-sided chemistry. If you feel an intense connection when you’re so close to each other, he probably feels it too.
#9 It’s as if you have a secret (but others actually feel it too)
Your friend: “Hey, you totally dig each other. Get a room!”
You: “NOT TRUE!”
Friend: *rolls eyes*
You: “What makes you say that?”
Friend: “Duh! We can all FEEL it.”
It’s quite embarrassing but it’s true. You didn’t suspect anyone would notice because you’re very subtle with your moves. And he is, too. In fact, his moves are too subtle you’re not sure he likes you.
But it seems like everyone can see what the two of you are doing.
If his moves are obvious to others, he is indeed flirting with you. Needless to say, he loves your body language and the secret (that’s not-so-secret) game you’re playing.
#10 He’s always facing your direction
The direction that the body is facing indicates what and who the person is interested in.
When you’re with a group, pay special attention to where he is facing but especially his feet because feet position gives clues to attraction.
If he’s always facing you, you can be sure he adores what he’s seeing. He doesn’t want to miss a single body language you could secretly be sending him so he is always near you and faced towards you, like a puppy waiting for a treat.
#11 The famous crotch display
We know this too well because we’ve witnessed so many D-bags who want to remind us of their masculinity by making us and the rest of the world know they indeed have crotches.
They spread their legs really wide and plant their legs firmly on the ground like peacocks spreading their pretty wings, exclaiming “I have a crotch. I do things with my crotch! Want me.”
Sleazy, for sure, but the classic men’s crotch display is effective if we like the guy!
If he does this while you’re together, he obviously knows that you’re seducing him because he’s teasing you back.
#12 He touches his hair a lot
While you’re talking, you notice that he touches his hair a lot. Playing with hair can mean a number of things but it’s mostly associated with anxiety.
If he’s nervous around you and you’re not his boss, you’re probably driving him crazy with your body language. It could be that the energy he feels when you’re around is just so overwhelming so he plays with his hair because that’s all he can do to control himself.
#13 He puts his hands in his pockets
There’s nothing in his pockets and it’s not winter so why are his hands tucked in his pockets?
There are so many hand gestures, each with a different meaning, and even one gesture like a hand in pocket could still mean different things, depending on the context.
But let’s say that you’ve been seducing a guy for months now.
You’re walking side-by-side so you tilt your head and try to touch his arm, just to be a little cute. He then quickly put both of his hands in his pockets.
Is he scared of you? Is he repulsed? Not really.
He probably likes you and finds your subtle advances sexy. But he’s probably afraid that his hands would start having a life of their own and touch you all over.
Just imagine a girl and a guy walking side by side, each of them with hands in their pockets. It’s obvious they have sexual tension but they’re trying to repress it.
#14 He’s very, very fidgety
This is similar to the hair touching and hands-in-pocket gesture. He gets a little nervous about the sexy things you’re doing and it’s driving him crazy so he has to do something…anything!
He would roll his sleeves and unroll them.
He would put on his jacket and then remove it.
He would play with his beer can.
He would shake his feet then cross his legs.
He would check his phone and put it down (and then check it again).
You’re exhausted for him but you see it as a good sign. That means he adores your body language and finds you sexy. You also like it that you’re both anxious because they say that the right person should always make you nervous.
#15 So many accidental touches
If you’ve given him this exact body language — you get a little too touchy — and he responds the same way but with more frequency, then you’re both clearly into each other. He likes what you’re doing and is absolutely not repelled by it.
When he hands you something, even if it’s just a book, his fingers would touch yours ever so slightly.
Just an accident? Maybe.
But you also felt it when he handed you your beer, your pen, and your bag. He even puts his head on your shoulders for a second to pretend he’s sleeping.
#16 He unconsciously mirrors your gestures
Mirroring is unconsciously copying the posture, gestures, tone of voice, expressions, and other nonverbal actions of the people we are interested in. This is one of the most common non-obvious signs a guy likes you.
Does he cross your arms when you cross yours?
Does he sip his coffee the same time you sip yours?
Mirroring isn’t exclusive to lovers. It doesn’t automatically mean that if a guy keeps matching your actions, that he’s madly in love with you. Again, this is all about frequency.
If a guy pays close attention to you and admires your personality and body language, you will notice that you’ll slowly get in sync. It could get confusing who’s copying who anymore, which is cute.
If he’s a sensitive guy, he will also notice this and would even blush every time it happens.
#17 He stands tall
Even if he’s actually short, he tries his best to stand erect when you’re around.
He’s a geeky guy who slouches in front of this computer all day? Enter the room and he’d slowly fix his shirt and try to look manly and hot. He wants to be the guy who would protect you from the world, not a slob who’d hide under a desk.
If you notice that he’s standing tall when you’re around, he probably digs you and your oozing sexy vibes.
#18 He smiles more and laughs louder
He probably doesn’t do it on purpose because it’s pathetic to force oneself to laugh just to get attention. If you make a silly face or crack a joke, he just can’t help but laugh even if everyone thinks you’re corny.
It will also be very difficult for the guy to not smile when you do something cute like when you massage your temples while pouting your lips or when you do funny exercises while you fall in line in the cafeteria.
He smiles because he finds you adorable. Plain and simple.
I mean…how can you feel blue when you’re with someone you like? If you notice that his face glows when talking to you, it’s very likely he likes you.
#19 He bites his lips
This is one of the top signs a man is sexually attracted to you.
Sure, there are some guys who just have a lip-biting habit but if he does this while you’re licking your fingers (you’re eating chips) or flipping your hair, you can be 100% sure that he’s biting his lips to restrain himself.
He’s afraid he’d unleash his inner beast if he won’t stop himself.
There is one easy way to find out if he truly has a hidden desire for you and it’s not just a habit. Pay attention if he bites his lips when he’s doing something else or if he’s with someone else. Also, pay attention to the frequency.
If he bites his lips in a sexy way (I guess we all know how this looks like) while you’re flirting with him and he doesn’t bite his lips often, the message is clear as day: He finds you irresistible!
#20 He gives out a frustrated sigh
You have a skimpy skirt on so you make sure he feels your smooth legs by brushing them very gently against his hands when you pass by.
You do this very slowly so that you can hear him sigh and groan. You know you’re now playing with fire if your bodies are close to each other and you hear each other’s breaths. Much more a frustrated sigh!
If you hear this sigh, which is probably the sweetest sound a man can create, you can be 100% sure you’re not just a friend to this guy. No, sister. You already have him wrapped around your little finger.
So, what next?
So there you have it, naughty girl!
Now you know how much of a seductress you are and how much he actually likes your body language, the next question is…what are you going to do about it?
Maybe you want to level up and you’re wondering why it’s taking him forever to make bigger gestures. Maybe he’s really a shy guy and would need some more direct encouragement from you.
Or maybe he’s not shy at all but doesn’t want a relationship. In this case, you have to learn tricks on how to make him want to have a relationship with you.
Or maybe…maybe you don’t want to do anything about it yet or at all.
You just want to prolong your little game because you’re both having a good time torturing yourselves. The chasing, the guessing game, the push and pull…these are all intoxicating. Enjoy every second of it as you hone your seduction skills.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.