Do you think a guy might be wasting your time?
But you’re not completely sure about it?
Look, it can be difficult to tell what a guy is thinking at the best of times.
But your time and how you spend it is important, so it’s imperative that you figure out if a guy is worth pursuing or if he is just wasting your time.
Here are 17 ways to tell:
1. He always seems to be busy
Watch out for a guy who rarely wants to organize dates with you.
And especially watch out for a guy that regularly comes up with excuses not to spend time with you.
Either he has something else that is conflicting with your plans or he keeps telling you what time he will be free next week, but it never happens.
If a guy keeps coming up with reasons why he can’t see you or is always being busy doing other things, then he is just wasting your time.
Perhaps the messages you and keeps in contact, but when it comes down to actually spending time with you, he never fronts up.
If this is happening to you, then you need to realize that this guy isn’t truly serious about building a genuine relationship with you.
2. He doesn’t pay for anything
This happens more frequently than you would imagine. Guys who don’t pay for themselves (huge red flag!) or refuse to pay for the woman (minor red flag).
Obviously, if the two of you go out to dinner or to a club, and he refuses to pay for anything, then that’s a guy you don’t want to be involved with.
I’m sorry, but if he expects you to pay for everything, then he is just wasting your time.
He’s also looking to use you to get free food and drinks. Not cool at all.
It’s also a bad warning sign if he doesn’t offer to pay for your food and drinks. Now I know cultures are different around the world, but where I grew up, the man usually pays for the woman on the first date.
Now I’m not a complete stickler for this rule, but I do think that a true gentleman will at least offer to pay for the woman.
So if this guy doesn’t offer to pay for you, then it might be a sign that he is not valuing you enough. He’s not trying his hardest to make a good impression.
That’s a minor red flag you need to be aware of.
After all, if he’s not putting in the effort and valuing his time with you, then the unfortunate chances are that your relationship probably won’t flourish into a committed and long-term relationship.
3. He doesn’t call if he is going to be late
If a guy is always late (I’m talking 30 minutes or hours late), then he is just wasting your time.
A guy who doesn’t care about you won’t even bother letting you know about it and sometimes they won’t show up at all.
That’s just darn right disrespectful girl and you know it.
The truth is this:
If a guy genuinely likes you, he’ll always rock up on time to your dates. He’ll respect and value your time.
And he definitely won’t stand you up at the last minute.
4. He is always complaining about his ex
Umm….News Flash…but if this guy is talking about his ex non-stop then you need to get away from him.
The bottom line is this:
A guy who talks about his ex clearly hasn’t moved on.
You’re not someone that he can simply vent to.
You don’t need to hear a guy complain about his ex. It’s disrespectful to you and it’s definitely a waste of your time.
5. He won’t let you into his life
If he doesn’t want to let you into his life and who he is then he is just wasting your time.
A guy who is interested in you will want to share things about his life with you.
He will want to bring you in and let you join him on his journey.
This is something that you should be aware of because if a guy does not want to talk about himself, then there’s a reason for it.
And the reason isn’t pretty.
For example, he might just see you as a fling and doesn’t see the point in letting you know more about his life.
Or even worse, perhaps he is a certified player that is currently seeing other girls and doesn’t want to get emotionally close to anyone.
The truth is this:
If a guy likes you, he will want to open up to you. He won’t hold back and the more that he opens up to you, the more you will develop a close bond that could actually go somewhere.
6. He always has a negative outlook on life
If a guy is completely negative and has no hope in life, and he takes that negativity out on you, then he is wasting your time.
Ladies, we don’t need more negativity ruining our shine!
Life is about actually enjoying it. You don’t want a toxic guy to bring you down.
It’s one thing when a guy has doubts about himself but if this is something that affects everything that he does, then he won’t be happy in any relationship.
And if he is showing signs that he will take his anger and negative out on you, then you simply don’t need that in your life.
7. He doesn’t want to commit
If a guy is just leading you on and wasting your time, then he won’t want to commit.
If he has player ambitions, then the last thing he will want is to get trapped with one lady.
If you want to be in a relationship with someone, then you need to commit.
That means that he will also have to commit to being with you and he won’t want any messy complications.
But if this guy is showing no signs that he can genuinely commit to you, then he is unlikely to change.
And if he won’t change, and there is no relationship commitment on the agenda, then you’re wasting your time with this guy.
8. He is too nice or too shy
If a guy is always just being nice and never saying anything, then he might just be a little scared of what you might think about him.
But if this guy is just too scared to say anything or make a move on you, then there’s something wrong.
It’s not that hard to find out what this guy thinks about you. If he won’t tell you, then he doesn’t want to say anything because he is just too scared and closed.
If this guy is always nice, respectful, and considerate, then it’s probably because he is afraid of being judged and he won’t take a stand in life.
While sometimes these are good qualities, it can be a red flag if they’re just too shy and scared to tell you anything real.
I’m assuming you want a future with this guy, so if that’s going to happen, he needs to make a move at some point.
Maybe he’ll eventually open up to you and ask you out and make a genuine move.
But if you have known him for a while and nothing seems to happen, then you might want to leave and find someone who will commit.
9. He won’t get close to you
If a guy isn’t interested in getting close to you, then he is just wasting your time.
He will never make the first move and if you try to get close to him or hold out your hand, he will just push it away.
If you know that a guy is interested then he should be doing something about it.
Ladies, take it from me:
Men are meant to make the first move.
If this guy just wants to be nice, respectful, and considerate to you but is not interested in getting close, then he definitely won’t be who you want him to be.
If a guy is just not that into you, then you need to know that because it’s hard to get through to some guys.
10. He doesn’t want to meet your friends or family
If a guy isn’t serious about you, he won’t be into meeting the people that mean the most to you.
He knows that it will give him a look into how you interact with other people and it’s one step closer to getting stuck in your life.
If he is not interested in meeting your friends or family, then it’s really a red flag and it’s probably time to move on.
This is especially the case if you’ve been dating for a while and he is showing no inclination in meeting the people in your life that are important to you.
11. He has no ambition
If a guy has no interests, goals, or aspirations, then he is just wasting your time.
A guy who doesn’t want anything out of life will not be able to provide for you and will be miserable in whatever he does so run away.
It’s not worth wasting your time with a guy who is just giving up on himself and his goals.
This is not to criticize him, but it’s important to think about yourself and your future.
The last thing that you want to be doing is dating a guy who has no ambition because that could lead to a stressful future when you decide to have a family.
12. His body language suggests that he is not interested in you
A guy will let you know if he likes or doesn’t like you in how he interacts with you. His body language will give it away.
If he doesn’t want to be around you, then he will keep his distance and won’t engage with you.
His body will point away from you, and he won’t engage in much eye contact at all.
He’ll rarely get physically close to you, and he’ll fold his arms around you.
This is not subtle and it’s a clear indication that he is not interested in you.
It’s important that you understand this because it could save you from spending time with someone who isn’t romantically into you.
13. He never asks you personal questions
If a guy never asks you about your past, your dreams, and your aspirations, then he doesn’t want to get to know you. He’s just not interested in you in that way.
If he is not asking any deep questions, then he is only interested in surface-level things, which usually means he only wants to have fun in the here and now.
It might be fine if that’s all that you’re looking for but if you’re looking for something more substantial with him, it could be a red flag.
14. He is always on his phone
If a guy is always on his phone, then that is a red flag.
Because it shows his lack of interest in you.
If he is absorbed with his phone, then he is not paying attention to you or what you have to say while you are together.
Just ask yourself this, would it really be that hard for him to put his phone down and just make an effort to talk to you?
This guy is obviously not interested in a relationship with you because if he is always absorbed with his phone, then he is only interested in himself and what the web has to offer him.
And who knows what he is doing on his phone? Is he texting other girls? Is looking at other girls’ Instagrams?
If so, you don’t want it.
15. He only wants to meet late on a Saturday night
If this guy only ever wants to meet you for a booty call, then that’s a red flag.
If he is only interested in getting some late on Saturday nights, then what kind of relationship would you have with that kind of guy?
You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship like this so why pursue it?
This kind of guy will get bored of you quickly, and who knows what he’ll do after a couple of weeks.
The truth is, he is only looking for fun and that’s it.
Now if that’s all you want, then fine.
But if you want a committed and meaningful relationship, a guy that only contacts you for a booty call isn’t going to be the answer.
16. He only contacts you when he wants something
If this guy is only trying to use you for a particular reason, then you need to tread carefully.
An example of this would be:
Perhaps he is looking for a job as an Accountant, and you happen to be best friends with someone who owns an Accountant Agency. and after you introduce them both, he hardly ever contacts you again and seems cold when you talk to each other.
That’s a sign of a guy who was only using you to get something he wants.
Obviously, that’s a specific example but if he never contacts you at all unless he needs something, then move on and find a guy who is more interested in the relationship than what he can get out of it.
17. He doesn’t pay much attention to you
If this guy is not really interested in getting close to you then you will see some clear indications of it with his lack of attention towards you.
How can someone be into someone if they are not getting to know that person? It’s impossible.
Attention signifies priorities. If you are dating someone who is not giving any genuine attention to you, then why should you want to be with him?
If he doesn’t pay attention to you, then he has no interest in being close to you.
This will be apparent in how he interacts with you and without paying attention, there is no point in getting close.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.